The Wedding Runaway (45 page)

"
No
,
I do not want a brandy
,"
Victor told Keene. How could he have forgotten that his carriage was standing in the street? All his self-congratulation on being discreet was for naught.

Keene stood
,
stretching his arms above his head. Had he dozed as he sat on the floor of the passageway?
"
You are not leaving until we talk.
"

"
I cannot.
"
Anguish and desperate loneliness broke over Victor and he turned away.
"
I cannot talk.
"

Keene would expect him to marry Lydia and if Victor were any other man he would expect it too.

"
Ah
,
she has left you speechless? Good for her.
"

If he could just get downstairs and out the door
,
mayhap this horrible ripping sensation in his chest would cease.
"
A state I am sure is most welcome to everyone.
"

Keene took his elbow and led him toward the stairs.
"
Brandy will help.
"

"
Nothing will help. I have ruined her. Bloody hell
,
what is wrong with me that I must destroy everyone about me?
"

"
If destroying her was your intent
,
then you never would have passed her care to me.
"

Keene led toward the library where he had once threatened to boil Victor in oil.

"
It is never my intent to wound
,
but I do it all the same. You should have killed me when you had the chance.
"

"
Shut up
,"
said Keene.

Victor was almost affronted by the rude words.
"
We cannot very well talk if I am to shut up.
"

"
Very well, talk then. Tell me why you do not want to marry her.
"

Keene opened the library and although Sophie was gone
,
the room still basked in the cozy glow of a banked fire. Keene shut the door behind him and folded his arms.

Victor stared at his empty brandy glass on the side table. How could this room look the same as it had a few hours ago? Everything was different
,
changed
,
ruined.

"
I would destroy her. You know my mouth. I will say things that will wound her. For God
'
s sake, I already shot her.
"

"
And I shot you
,
and it has never seemed to destroy your affection for me.
"

"
You are my brother.
"
Victor looked at Keene blocking the door. Did he mean to keep him here? It did not matter
,
because Victor wanted to be away from himself and no matter where he went
,
he could not manage that trick.

"
And I have not been so loyal or kind to you.
"

"
Yes
,
you have.
"
Keene had not known they were brothers. He had not understood. He
'
d had a brother who was raised with him and shared his affection without strain or impediment.

Keene had been better than Victor had a right to expect.

Keene tilted his head to the side and said
,
"
By the way
,
what did you say to our other half-sibling?
"

"
I told her to act like a lady
,"
said Victor, moving through the room and picking up the book that Lydia had held earlier. He would rather talk about Margaret or his relationship with Keene.
"
Why?
"

"
She thanked me
,
and then Bedford thanked me. You said more than that.
"

Victor shrugged.

Keene looked at the book and then up at Victor.
"
You cannot follow just half my advice
,
you know. I told you to make love to Lydia
,
but then I also said you will have to marry her.
"

"
Do not ask me to destroy another woman I care about again. I destroyed Mary Frances. I left her with no choice but death.
"
Raw terror at watching his wife run back into a burning building clawed at his throat. That she ran from him into a horrible death suffocated his hope of triumphing over the curse of destruction he inherited from his father.

Keene blinked.
"
Mary Frances was mad.
"

"
She was not so
,
until I married her.
"
He rubbed the scar on his forehead. Blackness ate at him. Only now did he understand what he had done.
"
She had been through horrors and I tried to coerce her into facing those...bloody hell
,
I destroyed her. Every time she came out of the insanity
,
I forced her back into it.
"

Keene took his elbow and sat Victor on the sofa. After a trip to the sidebar
,
Keene squatted in front of the sofa and pushed a glass of brandy into Victor
'
s hand.
"
You had better explain.
"

"
What is the point? It is done.
"

"
It is not done. Whatever happened is still eating at you. Tell me what happened.
"

Victor took a deep breath and told him what he had learned from Sheridan. That when Mary Frances was a young girl, she had been attacked. She had been brutalized and not expected to survive. While Mary Frances had lived
,
it was believed that she would never be able to bear children.

Victor knew she could not even tolerate the act that would lead to children. Now he knew why.

Her mother had not been content with the monster
'
s death sentence
,
but had visited him in his cell and poisoned him
,
leading to her own incarceration for manslaughter.

Victor had known nothing except Mary Frances
'
s fears. He had spent years winning her trust and affection and then tried to persuade her into his bed so they might have a child
,
a result that Mary Frances had known was impossible
,
even if she could bear intimacy. Each time they made progress
,
she fell into madness.

"
She should have told you.
"
Keene moved onto the sofa and slid his arm around Victor
'
s shoulders.

"
I do not think she could
,
for fear I would divorce her for being barren.
"
Victor leaned forward, wondering if he felt better
,
or just drained and empty.

"
She did not understand who you are then.
"

Victor set down the full glass.

"
Lydia has no such past to haunt her.
"

Victor shot to his feet and paced away.
"
There will be another thing. I will destroy her. Like our father
,
that is my gift. I am just like him.
"

"
You are not like that bastard. I am more like him than you. I have his ruthlessness
,
but you do not. You have a strength and loyalty that puts me to shame. You do more to hold our rag-tag family together than any of the rest of us.
"
Keene picked up the brandy and drained it.

Because they were the only family Victor had. Except he now had Mary Frances
'
s father treating him like a son
,
and that shamed him
,
because he knew his pressure and promises had forced her to burn herself to death. If he had not demanded Mary Frances be a real wife...but he had
,
as he always made the choices that ruined other people
'
s lives.

"
It does not change anything. To keep her with me
,
means I will destroy her. I know that. And I cannot bear to go through it again. Lydia is strong. She will be better off without me.
"

Keene slowly shook his head.
"
The only way you will destroy her is by refusing to do what is right.
"

He would do what was right; he would stay free of her so that she might find happiness.

~*~

Helena could not believe the sound that had come out of her mouth. Panic flooded through her, piling on top of the already overwhelming sensation.

Trevor did not miss a beat.

Belatedly, she realized she could let go of the bedpost. Of all the positions she had expected to be in during her lifetime
,
this was not one of them.

"
Trevor
,"
she hissed
,
as she struggled to sit.
"
You have to stop.
"

He pushed her down with a large hand against her chest.
"
Lie back and relax. You locked the door.
"

Then he went back to what he was doing. He did not care if they were caught. And why not? She was the naked one
,
he still had on most of his clothes. And he could not have made it all the way to her bedroom without her consent.

Heavens
,
when he said kiss her everywhere...he meant everywhere.

She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to continue. She grabbed the pillow and put it over her face and moaned into it. Then she was spiraling out of control
,
wound tighter than any long case clock. Her tension broke, easing away into intense waves of pleasure
,
and she was sobbing with relief and desperation and amazement. He had given her a gift greater than all the world
'
s gold could buy. She glowed, ridiculously happy, as if her heart would burst.

Stars above
,
she was capable of passion and it was all because of him. For no one else could she have bared herself so completely and trusted so thoroughly and fallen apart so wholeheartedly.

Trevor settled beside her and gathered her in his embrace.
"
Done chewing on the pillow?
"

She shifted the pillow and buried her face in his shirt. He stroked her hair while she pondered what was next. She was sated and her body exhausted
,
but he was still fully clothed. Had she not brought him here so he might at least have the pleasure of making love to her? Albeit she had envisioned a more conventional encounter
,
one where she would seek his pleasure. She had not even believed she was capable of finding her own.

She put her hands against his chest, relishing the firm feel of his broad physique. Remembering the park
,
she reached down to the falls of his unmentionables and stroked her fingers along the hardness hidden there.

He grabbed her hands and pushed them over her head, turning her over and rolling on top of her in the same motion. Then he pinned her wrists to the bed.
"
Do not or I will tie you to the bedpost.
"

"
But you are...
"
His breath was short and his body tense. She recognized the symptoms from her own fall into paradise.
"
You are not yet...
"
Her vocabulary was too limited in these matters.

"
You have retained your virginity and I will not take it without the church
'
s sanction.
"

His expression was savage and fierce
,
and oh, God
,
she had thought he was no longer angry.

Heat flooded her face.
"
But I would that you could feel as wondrous as I feel.
"

"
You invited me for talk.
"

She looked away
,
thinking he was draining her glow away.
"
We talk in circles.
"

"
You know what I want.
"

"
You want marriage
,
I know. But that is not how it works in my world. I cannot willy-nilly toss aside my upbringing. I would bring shame and embarrassment on my parents.
"

"
Helena
,
in America a man takes a wife and he loves only her and she loves only him. We do not treat marriage as this disposition of property without love as you do here.
"

"
Give me time
,"
she whispered, feeling her world slip away.

"
I
'
ve given you five years.
"

"
You have been back for little more than a fortnight. I had no knowledge you would ever return.
"

"
What will time help? You would make me your clandestine lover
,
but you will not accept my proposal.
"

Her head spun with possibilities. Could she marry him secretly? Could she walk away from her parents? Would she survive in a foreign land? For all America had been a colony of England
,
it was clearly a different place
,
with values that were in direct conflict with everything she had been brought up to believe was true.
"
My parents—
"

"
Should want you to be happy. And I will do everything in my power to make you happy.
"

She stared at him
,
emotions swirling like a whirlpool. Her parents would hate her. They had come to London for the season because of her.