The Wedding Runaway (24 page)

"
No
,
sweetling
,
I would never hurt your mama. You know why? Because I would never do anything that would hurt you.
"

"
Victor
,"
warned Amelia.

He held out a hand to stop her.
"
I would never
,
ever do anything that would hurt you
,
Reggie. I would rather die first. I am too fond of you.
"

As he looked into her perfect little face
,
he realized he could not do anything that would wound her. Even though he wanted her to know he was her father
,
the knowledge was more likely to damage her than to comfort her. He repeated
,
"
I would never do anything that would hurt you.
"

As he said it
,
he realized it was true. She looked at him, her defiance melting into uncertainty. He smoothed her hair back from her face. He wanted to tell her he would always be there for her
,
for any need she might have
,
but that would only confuse her.

Why did his actions always lead to pain for the people he loved? What if Regina had walked in half an hour later?

Chapter Ten

Lady Helena retrieved the morning post and sifted through it: a couple of invitations
,
and a note addressed to her. She put the note aside because she did not recognize the hand of the sender
,
but it was on stationery from Grillon
'
s Hotel. It could be from any one of a dozen of her acquaintances. Then there was the expected invitation from the Sheridans, who always started the season with a dinner party followed by a small ball.

Helena sat down at the writing desk to pen out an acceptance for her mother and herself. She would decline for her father
,
citing health concerns. She hesitated. Had Trevor managed to contact Major Sheridan? Should she ask that Felicity Sheridan consider Mr. Hamilton as substitute for her father?

Helena chewed on the end of the pen and wondered if that might be going too far. Putting anything on paper concerning Trevor Hamilton would be tantamount to announcing her interest. She could mention that she had sent him to Major Sheridan. She hurriedly added a postscript mentioning her acquaintance and that the major might be of assistance to Mr. Hamilton in a matter of some delicacy.

She reached for the note from the hotel
,
suddenly wondering if it was from Trevor.

She popped the wax seal and unfolded the single sheet.

One scrawled line.

Meet me in Rotten Row at five.

No signature. No flowery effusions of admiration. No avowals of undying emotion.

Yet
,
Helena
'
s heart beat faster. She turned the paper over. Yes
,
it was addressed to her. Thank goodness her mother had turned over many of the household duties such as answering correspondence. A year ago this note might never have made past her mother
'
s screening.

The stark command had to have come from Trevor. Any London gentleman would have added flattery and coaxing and at least signed with a dash or an initial. But it was straightforward and to the point. An assignation.

Of course
,
in a public park that would be well attended at that hour
,
and she would have to take either a groomsman or her maid with her. Or could she sneak out?

Her mother entered the morning room and Helena started.

"
Are you unwell
,
dear? Your color is high.
"
Lady Caine moved over to the chair beside the writing desk that caught the morning light and picked up her embroidery.

Fie on her pale skin that colored so easily.
"
I
'
m fine
,
Mama. How is Papa today?
"

"
Eating his breakfast. He had a difficult night.
"
Her mother looked as if she had had a difficult night too.

Helena wished she could ease her mother
'
s burden. Unfortunately
,
she could only do little things like help the household run smoothly.
"
I have just written out an acceptance to Mrs. Sheridan
'
s dinner for the two of us.
"

"
Good
,
Wedmont will be there
,
he always is. You might take the opportunity to engage his attention.
"

"
He will be in full mourning still.
"
Helena slid the note under the invitation from the Sheridans.

Her mother set down her embroidery.
"
Yes
,
well
,
Helena
,
you may not have much time.
"

Was her father so ill? Helena had never really considered that he might not get better.
"
Is Papa worse today?
"

Her mother
'
s lips flattened and she shook her head.
"
He is much the same.
"
She put her embroidery in her lap.
"
I have had several dreams lately and I am sure they are a portent of things to come.
"

Helena blinked. Her mother was usually a sensible sort
,
not putting stock in omens or superstitions. The dreams must have been disturbing if her mother was giving them any credence.
"
What kind of dreams?
"

Her mother picked up the embroidery and pushed through a stitch.
"
Dreams about dying and death.
"

"
About Papa?
"
Helena asked.

"
No
,
not specifically. I just think it is wise to heed the message of urgency
,
Helena. You must be married soon
,
or you will be in danger of never being able to marry. And I do worry so for your future.
"

"
Mama
,
what if I were to consider marriage to a commoner?
"

"
One who is an heir presumptive
,
presuming there is little chance of an heir apparent usurping his position
,
may be acceptable. Did you have a particular gentleman in mind?
"

Helena shook her head.
"
I meant just a commoner in general.
"

"
Absolutely not.
"

Helena fingered the note under the invitation. Would Trevor ever be acceptable to her parents? What would happen if they knew about his sister
'
s antics? The truth was he would never be acceptable. Nor did her parents need the added burden of a disobedient daughter during this time. She would have to set her cap for the Earl of Wedmont and tell Trevor that...that they were over. Only they had never really begun. She would have to tell him...that she could offer no encouragement.

She would meet him in the park and tell him. But for a few hours she would imagine that her purpose in meeting him was far
,
far different than spurning him.

~*~

Victor rubbed his face. Regina
'
s nursemaid ushered the girl out of the room, leaving Amelia and him alone again.

"
We could go to...the other room
,"
said Amelia.

He supposed she meant her bedroom
,
where presumably they would suffer no further interruptions.
"
No. I had better leave.
"

"
You do not want me because I am with child?
"
Amelia
'
s voice quivered.

Victor dropped his hands and looked at his former lover. She stood in front of the window staring out at the sheets of water sliding down the panes. Her chin had dropped and her shoulders sagged. That wasn
'
t like Amelia at all
,
but then neither was her tepid welcome.

He stood, crossed the room to her, wrapped his arms around her and put his hands against her swollen belly.
"
I cannot imagine you in a more beautiful state.
"

She pressed her hands over his
,
but she trembled. What she had said about her pregnancy bothering George niggled at Victor
'
s brain.

"
I cannot stay
,
Amelia. It is about Regina
,
not about you. She already thinks poorly of me
,
I cannot bear the thought of her opinion sinking any lower. Why does she think I would kill you?
"

"
Oh, it is what George said when he heard Mary Frances passed
,"
Amelia said airily.

"
And that was?
"

"
He did not mean it.
"

"
What did he say?
"

"
He said you had probably done her in. Please do not say anything. It was a private statement
,
and he only meant it to make you appear less to me.
"

"
I just fought a duel for less slanderous statement than that.
"
When his friends thought so little of him
,
how could he expect anyone to think well of him? Yet to confront George would likely hurt Regina and he would not do that.

"
It was just to me
,
and he did not mean it
,
and it was only unfortunate that Regina heard it.
"

Amelia shifted
,
turning in his arms and resting her head against his chest.
"
I am so alone.
"

He stroked his hand over her hair
,
holding her.
"
No
,
you
'
re not alone. You may always count on me as a friend
,
but the time for us to be lovers has passed. I am tired of hurting people. I do not want to hurt you or Reggie or even George.
"

"
Keene will not even look at me. He is too in love with Sophie.
"

An old rage coursed through Victor
'
s blood
,
but the intensity had paled over the years.
"
You know how to wound
,
Amelia.
"

"
I did not mean...I only...You feel safe to me, and Keene I have known as long and I trust he would be as gentle as you. I did not...Oh
,
I am sorry.
"
She clasped his lapels as if afraid to let go.

"
What is wrong between you and George?
"

"
He...he...he will not make love to me while I am with child and we had a monstrous row about it. I did not know what else to do but to come up to town.
"

How could George just deny himself for months on end? Why would he deny Amelia
,
who Victor knew had a passionate streak?
"
What is wrong with him?
"

"
He thinks relations are only for procreation and it should be a sin.
"
Amelia pressed her face into his chest.

"
Has he been associating with Sophie
'
s father?
"
asked Victor, mildly amused.

Amelia hit him
,
which was so unlike her
,
it made him laugh.

He freed himself from her
,
holding her hands between them.
"
I shall take care of it.
"

"
Oh, no. You cannot. How?
"

"
I
'
ll take care of it. I know George.
"

She looked so relieved he was almost wounded. That was if he cared to sleep with her.
"
Ah
,
Amelia
,
I was never first with you. You always settled for me after George or Keene did not come up to the mark.
"

Her blue eyes clouded with tears.
"
That
'
s not true
,"
she whispered.
"
You were my first choice
,
but you...but you said so many times that you could not marry me.
"

"
Oh
,
hell
,
Amelia.
"
Back then he did not have the means to support her as a wife
,
but she had never sought his lovemaking after the one time
,
leaving him to believe he
'
d failed miserably. He had not known she bore his child until after Regina
'
s birth.

His wife
'
s money had restored his estate to him
,
but being poor as church mice did not seem so horrible to him now. He and Amelia might have had a future if he had known how she felt then. If she had told him about the baby. But that was a time long past and everything was different now. She had married George and Victor was enamored of a girl whose name he did not know.

"
I do love George
,
he is everything I try so hard to be.
"

"
And I give you leave to be your worst.
"
Victor kissed her forehead. Perhaps he could mend the damage he
'
d caused. Or at least he could try.
"
What I did to you was unforgivable
,
and I am so very sorry.
"