The Wedding Runaway (23 page)

"
I owe you an apology for earlier. I never should have kissed you.
"

His apology hit her like a rock thrown at her chest. She hadn
'
t expected it. What about the rest of what he had done?

"
Or anything more. You are drugged and not yourself.
"

Lydia put her face against her knees and clenched her eyes shut. It hadn
'
t been all him. Clearly he thought her behavior unladylike.

"
I give you my word that I shall never...I will not touch you. I shall shelter you and see to your care. I do not expect anything in return. Do you understand?
"

She shook her head against her knees.

His voice softened.
"
If you thought it necessary to repay my hospitality with your body
,
it is not.
"

"
No.
"
She hadn
'
t thought that at all. But it was probably the only thing he could think in regards to her enthusiasm.

"
In spite of my lapse
,
I do mean to keep you safe until you are well again. I shan
'
t hurt you. If
,
however
,
you feel it best
,
Keene has offered to house you. With Sophie there
,
you would be more or less properly chaperoned.
"

Victor wanted to be rid of her again
,
and that hurt deep in her chest.
"
I suppose you want that.
"

"
It might be the best thing
for you
,
cub.
"

She looked up and saw he was holding the bedpost with a tight grip. Did he want her to stay?

~*~

Victor raked a hand through his hair and wondered why he was standing in front of Amelia
'
s house. He raised his hand to lift the knocker. He
'
d walked over
,
needing to burn off energy. Now it looked as if he was in for a soaking. Well, that was another way to kill his ardor.

Not-Leonard was asleep in his bed. He wanted nothing more than to crawl in with her and hold her until she woke again
,
but he knew he wouldn
'
t stop there. He wanted to finish what they had begun earlier. He wanted to make love to her all through the rainy afternoon and long into the darkness of night. If she had made him crazed as a boy
,
her revelation as a woman broke his willpower.

His body thrummed with urges. His blood felt thick and he was aware of everything around him
,
the scent of rain in the air
,
the heavy lowering gray clouds in the sky
,
the cool breeze lifting his hair from his scalp. He felt more alive and awake than he had in months
,
perhaps years.

After the surgeon left
,
with not-Leonard heavily dosed with laudanum again
,
Victor had gone to retrieve her maid. Mostly he
'
d hoped to learn his houseguest
'
s real name
,
but the maid refused to yield any information. At least his knowledge of Leonard
'
s sex had persuaded Jenny to bring clothes for her mistress.

Jenny would sleep on the cot in the anteroom off of Victor
'
s bedroom. At least with her maid close at hand
,
not-Leonard would have some chaperoning. She needed it.

Victor slapped his top hat against his thigh as a footman opened the door. After being let inside
,
he was left cooling his heels in the entry hall as the footman ascertained if Amelia was
"
at home.
"

She would be
,
but the longer Victor waited
,
the more he doubted this would serve as solution. How was it he suffered the long years of his marriage without a physical union
,
but one week with a woman whose name he didn
'
t even know and he was half-mad with desire?

He needed release
,
Amelia was available
,
making love to not-Leonard would destroy her life and complicate his. Amelia was not the one he wanted
,
but she was safe.

He was shown into the drawing room and Amelia rose from the sofa and moved forward to greet him. With each step she took toward him
,
he wanted to bolt.

"
Hello
,
Victor. I am so glad to see you.
"
She stretched up and pressed a cool kiss to his cheek.

"
Amelia.
"
Was she really that short? Not-Leonard
'
s height made kissing her so easy. No need to stoop or bend.

"
It is such a dreary afternoon
,
and I am quite bored with myself.
"
Amelia stood in front of him.
"
I shall ring for tea.
"

He hadn
'
t come for tea.
"
I should go.
"

"
Oh, no
,
you must stay at least a quarter hour. It
'
s only polite.
"
She gestured to the window where water streamed down the panes.
"
You should stay until the weather lifts. I am not likely to have any other callers to interrupt us in this rain.
"

She reached out and gathered his hands in hers.

Victor felt a mix of alarm and consternation that Amelia did understand why he had come. Her hands were cold
,
and he belatedly realized she had removed her gloves. They lay draped over the arm of the sofa. Amelia would never be found without her gloves in her drawing room
,
except she
'
d removed them knowing he was on his way up. So would they move to her bedroom
,
or would they just make use of the sofa?

The sofa. She
'
d made love with him in a carriage before
,
and the idea of trespassing in the bed of his once-friend made Victor feel sordid.

Should he lock the door? He glanced toward it.

"
Really
,
don
'
t leave. What is wrong?
"
she asked.

"
I shot Leonard.
"
He hadn
'
t meant to tell her that. Damn his mouth.

"
Oh
,
Victor
,"
she said and stepped back.
"
Is he badly hurt?
"

She tugged her hands back
,
but he refused to let go.

"
He...Leonard will be fine. I did not mean to wound...him.
"
Victor squeezed his eyes shut and released Amelia.

"
Well
,
what should you expect when you point a gun at him and fire it?
"
Amelia asked.
"
You forced him into a
duel.
"

He didn
'
t need a raking over the coals. He needed to be rid of his passion. He opened his eyes to find her with folded arms and trepidation in her midnight blue eyes.
"
I don
'
t want to talk about it. I did not come here to talk about Leonard.
"
He came here to get over Leonard.

He looked her over. Truly
,
Amelia was a beautiful woman
,
but he felt no urge to press her.
"
My apologies. I shall leave now.
"

"
Victor
,
stay, please. I am a poor hostess.
"
She stepped toward him and placed her bare hand on his shoulder.
"
I am just nervous. I am not used to doing anything like this.
"

Amelia brushed against him
,
and he tried to feel something beyond dismay that he felt nothing. No
,
he felt the hardness of her stomach that her highwaisted gown concealed. The mound jutted against his abdomen.

"
You are with child.
"

She looked down at the small swell and placed her hand against the upper curve of her belly.
"
Yes
,
it shall be obvious to everyone in a fortnight or so.
"

How had he not noticed before? Why hadn
'
t he noticed when he kissed her at his house?

"
Sophie and I seem to manage to do this in tandem these days
,
although I believe I am in the lead this time.
"
She looked back up at him, her eyes swimming with moisture.
"
Does it bother you?
"
she whispered.

It touched off a storm of emotions
,
but then everything lately seemed to affect him. His emotions toward Amelia and her pregnancy were along the line of regrets. He was fond of her
,
even if his desire for her had cooled with the passing years. He put his hand over the soft swell of her stomach
,
only to discover it did not feel soft at all
,
but firm. He had been excluded from her first pregnancy
,
the pregnancy he had created.
"
Not mine this time.
"

"
No. It is George
'
s
,"
she said.

"
I want to be a godfather this time.
"

"
George—
"

"
Will object
,
I know. But I want closer ties to your family.
"
To his daughter.

She put her hands over his and gave him a weak smile.
"
My breeding bothers George.
"

"
Why? He should be glad. I...
"
Victor didn
'
t want to finish the thought
,
that Mary Frances had not given him any children. It seemed sacrilegious to think ill of the dead
,
and odd that he should have never experienced a woman
'
s pregnancy this close and never would.

"
I know.
"
Amelia cupped his face.

He kissed her then
,
and she leaned into him. He still madly felt so little in the arena of passion
,
but he continued
,
sure that not-Leonard would be safer if he experienced a small measure of satisfaction. He hoped to comfort Amelia
,
to woo her with gentleness
,
to seduce himself with lies that her body was changing because of him
,
that he could love her again. Instead, he filled his mind with images of his houseguest so he could feel the thickening that would see him through this act.

He guided her down to the sofa
,
easing her shoulders against the cushions
,
and positioning a pillow behind her head.

"
I shall not break
,"
she whispered as he debated lying beside her or whether she could bear his weight in her condition.

He winced
,
not wanting her to talk. She didn
'
t have the alluring throaty voice not-Leonard had. But it did settle his debate. He covered her mouth with his
,
thinking of how different his houseguest had tasted
,
how much more urgent he had felt then. He shifted to lean over Amelia.

She threaded her arms around his neck.
"
Am I hurting you?
"
he asked.

She shook her head. He continued then. As he closed his eyes and remembered his houseguest
'
s attention to his scar
,
he found enough desire to go on
,
but damn, he wanted Leonard. He wished he were with her and felt awful for Amelia as if he were cheating on her in his mind.

"
No! What are you doing to my mama?
"

The patter of little feet running across the floor reminded Victor he should have locked the door.

"
Oh, no
,"
whispered Amelia as tiny fists pummeled Victor
'
s back.

"
Don
'
t you hurt my mama.
"
Thwack
,
thwack.
"
Don
'
t you kill my mama.
"

He twisted around and grabbed the little fists intent on hurting him.
"
Reggie
,
stop. I
'
m not hurting your mother. I
'
d never hurt your mama
,
precious.
"

"
Regina
,
stop misbehaving right this minute.
"
Amelia sat up and pointed.
"
Go back to the nursery.
"

The little girl in front of him sobbed and his heart split in two.
"
No
,
wait. She doesn
'
t understand.
"

"
I shan
'
t tolerate this behavior.
"
Amelia
'
s voice filled with fury.
"
She cannot hit people. I will not allow it.
"

"
Amelia
,
she
'
s just a baby.
"

His daughter stood before him quivering
,
but she looked up at him
,
her dark brown eyes so like his and filled with raging defiance.
"
You are hurting my mama. You are trying to kill her.
"