The Unblocked Collection (43 page)

“Doll, I’m going to be honest with you: you’re being ridiculous.”

I reached for a bottle and filled my glass, swallowing down half a cookie with a large gulp of wine. “Well, I think—”

“I agree with Anna,” Brea said, interrupting me. “You haven’t been this happy in a really long time. Why would you change things with Derek just to please your dad?”

I thought about the hours I worked, the schedule I tried to keep, the sales that were required, the numbers I needed to maintain and grow. It was already a challenge managing it all. And now, I was going to be responsible for the residential side of our company—the side that held the majority of our business—and all the agents who would be directly reporting to me.

I would never have told my father this, but as excited as I was to be given that division, I was so scared, too—scared that I couldn’t manage it all, scared that I would disappoint him. Scared he would regret his decision.

The weight of it all was intense.

“I don’t want to change anything,” I admitted. “Things with Derek feel so right.” If I were being honest, my feelings for him were intense, too…and scary. And they were so strong, especially for knowing him so briefly. “But my father made it clear that I haven’t even begun to sacrifice like I will once I take over. A change has to be made. And I—”

“I’m disappointed in you.”

Anna’s words hit me like the backside of her hand. She hadn’t said that to me since I was in high school, when I failed geometry because I couldn’t wrap my head around a particular proof. Anna taught me to look at the shapes as though they were blueprints—things I looked at every day while working at my father’s company. My average slowly rose, and I passed the class with a B. Her encouragement helped.

I could have used it now.

“You’ve always been a girl who goes after what she wants,” she continued, “and you never let anything come between you and your goal. When your clients can’t agree, you help them find a common ground. When your employees argue, you help them work it out. So why would you deprive yourself when it comes to your own life? You let your father rule your business decisions…now you’re letting him rule your personal ones, too.”

That angered me. So I ate my feelings, restocking my plate with another brownie and cramming it into my mouth.

“It sounds like you’ve got quite a man there. He obviously cares about you, and I can see how much you like him. But now you’re going to toss that aside so you can work more? For your father?”

“It’s what I want,” I said.

“I don’t believe you,” Anna replied bluntly. “I think you want your job and Derek equally…and I think you’re afraid of what wanting him means.”

“Anna’s right,” Brea said. “You love him…don’t you?”

I didn’t answer. I put the plate down and drank the wine, holding the glass to my lips until it was empty.

“You love him, and that scares you to death,” Brea said. “You’re freaking out over the demands your father has given you, and you’re pulling away from Derek because that’s easier than facing your feelings.”

“Brea—”

She slid to the edge of her chair. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Did
I love him?

I knew I was absolutely crazy about him; when he spoke, a flutter deep inside my chest came without warning. He made me feel full…and yet somehow, I always wanted more of him. When I wasn’t with him, I wanted to be. Even now, with two of the most important people sitting across from me, I wanted to be with Derek.

Then there was also our physical bond, the responses my body gave to his touch. He made me scream, shudder…feel sexier than I ever had. I had a definite sense that eventually he would satisfy all of it—my sexual fantasies, my emotional desires. But I knew all too well that
everything
could so easily turn to
nothing
…I learned that when Reed took away my everything.

Having it all wasn’t possible.

It was the part of the story I hadn’t told Derek, the part I hadn’t told anyone but Anna and Brea.

“You’re rubbing your stomach, doll,” Anna said softly.

Our eyes met, and I looked down. My fingers were circling my navel.

I poured myself another glass. It was time to confess my feelings, as hard as that was going to be. I took a deep breath, the wine warming my chest, helping to calm me. “You’re not wrong, Brea.” I glanced at Anna. “When I think about what I want, I always remember what I lost.”

“But if you give up Derek,” Anna said, “you’re going to lose again.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“And you’ll be giving up someone who loves you,” Brea said. Her eyes pleaded with mine. “You know how badly Derek wants you; you can feel how much he’s changing you, how much you’re changing him. You will never forgive yourself if you throw this away, especially if you’re doing it for your father.”

I could hardly breathe; the air in my lungs felt like it had frozen. I
did
know what I would be sacrificing if I gave up Derek. And I wasn’t entirely sure I would forgive myself if I let it happen. The decision felt heavier and much harder to make than it had earlier.

“Talk to him, Frankie.” I looked at Anna again as she spoke. “Be honest with him. Tell him what you’re struggling with, and why. Maybe his response will surprise you.”

I sighed, my body deflating into the couch. “I’ll think about it,” I said finally.

“Well, he’s not going to let you ignore him in the meantime,” Brea said. “When Derek wants something, he wants it now.”

Brea was right again. Derek was relentless in his pursuit of me—whether it was my body or my thoughts or my emotions, he found a way to get what he wanted. And I seemed to always give in to him, not just because I wanted him to touch me or be inside me, but because I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted to feel his emotions with every thrust. He was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen, and my attraction to him was undeniable, but it was an emotional connection that I wanted the most.

I looked at Anna; the pain in her eyes could have killed me. She wanted more for me than a higher title at Jordan International, but I had to be sure it was what I wanted and what was best for me. Her home had always been a place where I found refuge. Now it was making me face my fears.

“I need a second to process all of this,” I told them. “And I really need to think, but I can’t do that here.”

I set the half-empty glass on the table next to my full plate of sweets, two things I never would have walked away from ordinarily. But the thought of putting anything else into my stomach was making it churn.

“You’ve done too much thinking,” Brea said. “That’s why we’re here, to get you out of your head and into ours.”

“We care about you, doll. You have to trust us, we only want what’s best for you. And what’s best is for you to lead with your heart.”

I walked over to Anna and took her hand. “You’re going to have to trust
me
, Anna, and know I’ll make the right decision.”

“We do,” Brea said.

“Of course we do,” Anna added. “I know I can’t protect you from everything. But as someone who’s been around for almost all your life, I can’t stop myself from trying. And with this in particular, I think Brea and I can see more clearly than you can.”

She’d protected me from so much over the years, and I understood why she wanted to do that now. I couldn’t tell her how that made me feel; the thoughts were there, but the words were stuck. So I raised her hand to my lips, and I kissed it. “Trust me,” I whispered. Then I wrapped my arms around Brea and gave her a quick hug. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”

“He’s going to accept you, Frankie,” Brea said. “All of you. Even the parts Reed never did.”

Her statement hit harder than she probably intended it to. There were parts I hadn’t given Reed because our relationship hadn’t reached that level. He had gotten farther than any man had, but there was still so much he hadn’t known. So much he hadn’t cared about. So much I couldn’t share because our relationship couldn’t handle it.

I compared that against the connection I felt with Derek… then I stopped myself.

It wasn’t time to go there yet.

“I’ll talk to you both tomorrow,” I said, grabbing my purse and heading for the door before they could say anything else.

Once outside, I hailed a taxi and climbed into the backseat. I hugged my purse to my chest and leaned into the corner of the door.

“Where can I take you to, miss?”

I felt my mouth open and heard myself recite an address… but it wasn’t my own.

DEREK

“FRANKIE,” I SAID,
opening the door wide enough to let her in. But she didn’t move, and her expression worried me. “Are you okay?”

“I should have called. I’m sorry.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye. “I…I’m not even sure why I’m here.”

The woman standing on my front steps wasn’t the same woman who had sucked my dick in her office earlier today. It looked like there was a goddamn war raging inside her head. Whatever was wrong, I hoped I could fix it…and I hoped it hadn’t been caused by Reed.

“Do you want to come in?”

She finally looked up. “Maybe we could go for a walk?”

I was wearing gray sweatpants, and nothing else. “Let me grab a shirt and some shoes.”

“I’ll wait out here.”

I left the door open a crack and jogged up the stairs to my room. I grabbed the first T-shirt in my drawer, threw it over my head, and slipped on some running shoes. Frankie was sitting on my front steps when I returned. I gave her my hand to help her stand; she stared at it for several seconds before she took it. I didn’t understand her hesitation or what she could be doubting.

“Come here,” I said as she got to her feet. I wanted her skin under my lips, her scent filling my nose. I needed to taste my pink ivory.

She stopped me from pulling her closer. “Let’s just walk.” Her posture was stiff; she added space between us as she stepped onto the sidewalk, her fingers slipping from mine.

There was a storm coming. I could feel it in the air. It wouldn’t be much longer before the rain started and we would be caught several blocks away from my place without an umbrella or an overhang to keep us dry. Something told me she wouldn’t care.

She didn’t break her silence until we reached the end of the block. “My father gave me the residential division of Jordan International today.” She didn’t sound excited, even though she should have. I knew it was something she really wanted.

“Congratulations. You deserve it. Shit, you deserve the whole company.”

She paused on the curb, her feet teetering over the edge. “I was sitting in his office, listening to everything he was saying and…”

Her eyes looked everywhere. When they finally circled back to me, I searched them for the truth, for what she wasn’t telling me. I didn’t like what I saw. “Say it.”

“He commended me on what I’d sacrificed to get to where I am now, and just minutes before, I’d been in my office…giving you a blowjob.” The disappointment was starting to break through in her voice. “I could still taste you in my mouth, Derek. It didn’t feel like I had sacrificed anything in that moment. Or that I deserved what he was giving me.”

“There’s no way we could have known your father was going to choose that moment to promote you. Bad timing—that’s all it was.”

“But then he proceeded to tell me what I would have to sacrifice as the sole controller of that division.”

I shoved my hands into my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her. “What are you saying?” The disappointment was gone. In its place was a pain I recognized all too well. I knew where this was going. “Frankie—”

“That night I found your sister in bed with Reed, something else happened…something I didn’t share with you when I first told you the story.” Her eyes were welling. I wanted to hold her, to stop her pain as much as I wanted to stop my own. But when I reached for her, she pushed me away. “I have to get this out, and if you touch me, I won’t be able to.”

Her strength hit me so fucking hard, I groaned. She didn’t want me to touch her; she didn’t want me to make her feel better. She certainly wouldn’t want to hear that I already knew the part of the story she was going to tell me.

“Tell me, Frankie.”

A tear ran down her cheek as she nodded. “I lost my baby.” Her voice was so small, so weak. “It happened in Reed’s condo. On the floor in his bedroom.” She looked up as the first crack of thunder roared above us. “He pushed me…it was an accident, really. I fell. The impact made me miscarry.”

She had a hard time opening up. Hell, the last time she’d shared her feelings I had to lick them out of her. I knew how difficult this was for her, and how much it hurt to retell it.

“Our collapse wasn’t completely Reed’s fault. We were both too consumed with our jobs to know what the other person needed. If we hadn’t been so worried about ruining things professionally, I doubt we would have lasted as long as we did.” She leaned against a stop sign and crossed her arms around her stomach. She looked into the distance, at nothing. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I would get pregnant with someone who I knew wasn’t right for me. The pregnancy wasn’t planned. I was on antibiotics, which had weakened my birth control. The news shocked us both. I don’t know that I had even wanted children before that point, or if I wanted anything beyond work. It’s all I’ve known since I was a kid.” A drop hit her lip. She ignored it. “I wasn’t in love with Reed. But I was in love with our baby.” Her finger rubbed circles over her navel as if it was still inside her. She finally looked at me. “The last thing I was expecting was for you to come into my life. I wasn’t looking for you, Derek. I was actually trying to avoid any type of relationship. I’ve been fighting my feelings, not giving you all of me.” She looked at the rain as it ran down her cheeks, blending with her tears. She was stunning and vulnerable and so fucking raw. And I’d never wanted to be with her more, be with her in every possible way, than I did right now. “And now I can’t get my father’s demands out of my head. When I tried to tell Brea and Anna I had to make a decision, they tried to persuade me not to. They want me to be with you
and
to take the job…”