The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy (38 page)

Milton Gardiner’s retirement party was held on a luxury yacht in the San Francisco Bay. There must have been at least two hundred people there and at least half of them attorneys. Elizabeth arrived early to help with setup and nametags and Darcy arrived a while later, having dropped her off a block from the dock and then driven around for fifteen minutes. They were still trying to avoid the appearance of a serious relationship in public until his term was over in April. It was already March, and there was not long to go.

Elizabeth’s peach colored dress, draping modestly over her breast and skimming subtly over her hips, drew Darcy’s eye immediately when he entered. Her hair was swept up in a chignon, sedate diamond drop earrings in her ears. He marveled briefly over how she unerringly captured his attention no matter where she was. As if feeling his gaze, she glanced up and met his eyes with a soft, warm smile. He nodded once in acknowledgement and turned to greet a friend. They circulated in separate parts of the party for an hour, mingling and greeting old friends and associates.

The ship pulled out from dock as the sun was setting. Darcy and Elizabeth shared a brief moment on deck as they went under the Golden Gate Bridge.

“Did I tell you how lovely you look tonight?” he said. She shook her head and smiled.

“But it’s duly noted, Your Honor,” she replied. He grinned and took a step away from her as another attorney approached. Elizabeth excused herself while the other attorney chatted with Darcy for some time.

Dinner was served and they ate at separate tables. Speeches and toasts were made and people began to get a little drunk. Darcy walked to the back of the room and stood behind everyone else. Soon Elizabeth was by his side. They stood together for some time while Judge Boyd made a boring speech. Darcy sneaked his hand to Elizabeth’s low back.

As the speech droned on, Darcy’s hand slipped lower onto her rear. He slid a hand slowly over her cheek, fingers tracing the curve where cheek met leg. He ran a finger back up, trailing lightly her rear cleavage. She tried to repress her smile but failed. He looked resolutely ahead, giving no sign of his hand’s explorations. He ran his hand again over her cheek, cupping it and caressing it.
God how I love her ass,
he thought.
And her tits, and her lips
...
He gave her bottom a light smack and pulled his hand away from her.

The interminable speech continued and Darcy wandered out onto the deck for some bracing, libido-dousing air. He turned and looked into the ballroom and again admired Elizabeth’s figure. Then he realized with a start that she was–
they
were
-
plainly visible to anyone on deck. He looked to his left and saw a group of about eight attorneys, male and female, looking at him. Some raised their glasses to him, others gave him a thumbs up; all were grinning and laughing. He recognized all of them, knew their names. Every. Last. One.
Jesus fucking Christ
, he thought, and quickly looked away from them. And was surprised to realize that he didn’t care. He laughed to himself.

A moment later, Elizabeth joined him.

“He certainly does admire Milton!” she grinned as she stepped up to the railing beside him. He smiled. She looked out over the water and saw the shimmering city lights in the distance. She shivered in the breeze and Darcy took his jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. She turned to thank him.

He kissed her.

“Will!” she said, pulling back. “There are people everywhere,” she reminded him.

“I don’t care.” Darcy took a pin out of her hair and flung it into the water. Another followed shortly after. She looked at him in shock and amusement. Had he gone mad?

“I don’t care, Elizabeth, I love you.” He put his fingers into her hair and let it cascade over her shoulders. He kissed her again. “I love you.” She laughed at him and returned his kiss.

He was not unaware of the catcalls coming from their ready-made audience.

“Go get her, Judge!”

“Dar-cy, Dar-cy, Dar-cy!”

“The Looooove Boooat,”

He pulled one hand from her hair and extended his middle finger at them, much to their delight. They hooted and laughed but did not leave. He sighed. He had carried his mother’s ring in his pocket for three weeks now, looking for the perfect opportunity to propose. None had arisen; something had always gone amiss. An unfortunate phone call, a distraction, an interruption, an argument. Clearly the universe was not bending to his will on this.

Right. This is it. Now or never, you coward. Get down on bended knee. Recite a love poem. Tell her how lovely she is in the moonlight, never mind the cursed fog cover. Ask her to be yours and spend eternity with you. Make it good!
Don’t fuck it up!

“Marry me,” he demanded.
No no no!!!
That wasn’t romantic
at all!

“Yes, Judge Darcy,” she replied.

Had his heart just exploded?

She gave him a long kiss, then said,

“Is that the best you could do?” with an amused smirk.

“Yes
-
No. Er, Elizabeth, I love you more than life itself, you would make me the happiest man alive if you consent
–“

“Stop! I liked the first one better!” she smiled. He slanted a smile at her.

“How about, ‘Marry me, wily wench, and we’ll sail the seven seas together?’”

“No, that’s not quite it, either,” she laughed.

He sobered slightly but his eyes twinkled. He pressed his forehead to hers.

“You must
at least
allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you, and I beg you to end my suffering and please be my wife,” he said softly.

She swallowed.

“Yes, I like that one. That’s the one we’ll tell the grandkids about,” she murmured against his lips. He smiled against hers and kissed her deeply again.

He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it up. Together they looked at a 3 carat emerald cut diamond with two half-carat kite diamonds on each side, set in a p
latinum filigree and pave band.

“Oh, Will, it’s stunning,” she whispered, though she could not see its brilliance in the dark.

“I realize it may not be to your taste and we can get a different one later. But if you like it, I’d like you to have it. It was my mother’s,” he said quietly, looking first at the ring, and then, almost shyly, to her.

“Your mother’s? Shouldn’t Georgiana have it, then?” she asked. He shook his head.

“No, it’s for you. I
...
it’s incredibly sentimental to me, I want you to have it,” he finished softly.

“Then nothing would make me happier,” she smiled warmly at him. He put it on her finger and kissed her. Their private audience was cheering loudly and whistling and, in fact, the ballroom had erupted into polite applause, as Judge Boyd had taken that moment to end his speech.

“We shall not have a moment alone until this party is over,” he said regretfully.

“No, but I intend to glue myself to your side for the rest of the evening. You can’t just take my hair down and kiss me in front of this audience, sir. You will have to stand up and do the right thing and make an honest woman of me,” she teased. He shivered and put his arms under the jacket, pulling her even closer.

“It will be my pleasure to deflower, scandalize, and generally ruin your reputation for many years to come,” he smiled. “Well, let’s go give our congratulations to Milton and bear the rest of the evening as well as we can.”

He released her from his embrace and took her hand.

“Did you have to ruin my hair for that?” she teased him as she pushed a lock behind her ear.

“Ruin! I’ve improved it vastly. I should have been a hairdresser,” he replied.

She looked back up at him, laughing. She couldn’t say anything, she was too happy. She now knew what Jane was dithering on about; unspeakable, unendurable happiness. She was fairly trembling with joy. He hugged her tightly and kissed her again.

They spent the remainder of the evening together, unabashedly holding hands and mingling. They were met with a few surprised glances but ignored them. More surprising were the
un
surprised glances, the approving smiles, the knowing nods.
Did everyone know?
they wondered.

They did not announce their engagement
,
one step at a time
,
but word did spread that there had been a proposal and an acceptance and judging from their mooney gazes at each other, it was not hard to deduce the identity of the involved parties. But again, their wishes were respected and no surprise toasts or announcements were made. This was, after all, Milton’s party.

On the drive home, he took her hand and kissed it, running his thumb over the ring on her finger.

“You did say yes, didn’t you?” he asked. She laughed.

“Yes, I did. Having second thoughts?”

“Certainly not. But I wanted to make sure I hadn’t misheard you. You weren’t teasing me, were you? Sometimes you pick the worst time to do that, you know.”

“This is a terrible start if even
you
won’t believe I’ve accepted your proposal,” she laughed. He laughed and kissed her hand again. “But to recap, you still love me and we are engaged.”

“At the risk of sounding terribly melodramatic
...
you’ve made me the happiest man alive,” he said. She squeezed his hand.

“Then it is settled, we are to be the happiest couple in the world,” she grinned.

They drove on in silence, he feeling as if his chest were to burst with joy, she wanting only to curl into his arms and love him. Unable to resist, she unbuckled her seatbelt and slid over to him. She pulled his arm around her shoulders and put her arm around his waist and settled into his side for the remainder of the ride home.

“Lizzy, when did it happen? When did you fall in love with me?” he asked her. She smiled.

“I confess it came on so gradually, I hardly knew when it began. It all goes back to Pemberley. Such a house would inspire love in anyone,” she teased.

“There you go again, I ask you a serious question and you deflect it with a tease. Come now, Lizzy, don’t break my heart. Be serious,” he said softly, his own tone holding a hint of tease.

“You will have to get used to it! You’ll be having me for better or for worse!”

“Much for the better, I think.” He squeezed her closer and pulled into the parking garage. They passed the doorman with a nod and took the elevator up to his floor. Once inside he drew her into his arms again.

“Really, Lizzy? You love me and you want to marry me?” he asked, hugging her. She wanted to laugh but felt this would not be the best time. She pulled back from him and looked into his eyes.

“Really, Will. I love you and I want to marry you. Please don’t think me so fickle as to be capable of changing my opinions so quickly.”

“You didn’t just say yes out of pity or fear of embarrassment, did you? You can retract it now if you want.” This time she really did laugh.

“For the last time
-
and I mean it, I won’t discuss it anymore
-
yes, I will marry you. Here, will it make you feel secure if I ask you myself? Fitzwilliam Darcy, will you please do me the honor of being my husband?” she said archly.

He grinned.

“Well, at my age it’s unlikely I’ll get any better offers, so yes,” he answered her. She rolled her eyes at him and laughed.

They retired to the bedroom suite where she opened his medicine chest and pulled out her makeup remover. She brushed her teeth with her toothbrush and brushed her hair with her brush. Everything was here. This was her home as much as had been her home on Longbourn Street, as much as her house with Jane. She knew where everything was, had her own closet space, a dresser of her own.
Why do I insist that I don’t live here?
she wondered wryly. Because she had been afraid of taking the plunge, of committing to someone she loved so wholeheartedly. She saw now that she was being completely foolish and smiled at her reflection in the mirror.
Silly, silly girl
, she chided herself.
He’s been steadfast all along; if anyone should be insecure, it’s him. You’ve certainly given him cause to doubt.
She frowned.
And he does doubt.

She curled into bed beside him, putting her arms around his neck and one leg across his waist.

“I’ve known since that night when you played guitar for us at Pemberley,” she confessed into his ear. “I was probably well in love before then but that was when I
knew
. I went upstairs and cursed myself for being a fool. I didn’t even consider that you might return my feelings, I was too wound up in trying to repress them. But that’s when I knew,” she finished. He looked at her.

“Thank you,” he said and kissed her. She continued her confessional.

“Even though I didn’t know it was you, I was attracted to you at the Halloween party. I remember thinking how crazy I was for developing a crush on someone whose face I never saw and who never spoke to me. But I couldn’t help it, I felt this chemistry
...
did I imagine it?” she asked.

“No,” he answered. She nestled her head against his shoulder.

“I thought you were so sexy, so mysterious, the way you stayed by me all night but never said anything.” She laughed softly.

He smiled and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “I remember that night very clearly. It was the first time I ever saw your hair down. I couldn’t take my eyes off you from the moment you stepped in until the moment you left,” he said quietly.

“I seem to recall you telling Jim Foster that I wasn’t handsome enough to tempt you!” she smiled. He pulled back from her.

“When did I say
that
?” he asked, astounded that he could ever have been so foolish.

“The day of my very first appearance before you. At the Assembly Room after work. I was there, I know it all!” she teased him, poking him in the chest. He frowned.

“You heard that? I can scarcely remember it. What an idiot I was, as it was only the next day that I began to develop a rather inappropriate attraction to you,” he laughed. “You were such a breath of fresh air, always teasing everyone and making the day go faster. I can remember being shocked when you first teased me, then secretly pleased that you found me worthy of your attention,” he smiled.

She laughed. “I’m afraid to say that I was being blatantly disrespectful to you. After all, to insult a woman in such an infamous fashion! I was determined to hate you.”

“Ah, well, I know the feeling of such rejection. You liked me well enough as Speed Racer but not so much as Judge Darcy
...”
he replied, smiling.

“That’s not exactly true
...
I recall thinking that you looked quite good skiing at Tahoe,” she smiled. “In fact, you reminded me of Speed Racer!” she laughed.

“Was that before or after you estimated my age at 75?” he teased. She grimaced.

“Don’t remind me of the terrible things I said!” she exclaimed with a laugh. “From this moment forward I will remember the past only as it gives me pleasure!” She snuggled closer to him and kissed him. She put her head again on his shoulder and they lay quietly for a moment.

“You made things so difficult for me,” he said soberly. “But it was worth the fight. I don’t think I would love you so well if you had given in so easily.”

“You are far too kind; I was awful to you.”

“Neither of us had the best behavior,” he replied. “I actively sought to make you jealous by pretending to date Caroline.”

“It worked,” she said flatly. He laughed shortly.

“Almost too well. For all my speech about not enduring any more heartache, I would have followed you to San Diego if you had left me then. I couldn’t imagine life without you, Elizabeth,” he said tenderly, brushing the back of his fingers over her cheek. “And as you know, I am a very determined man.”

“How very fortunate for me,” she replied softly. She kissed him then and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a moment, she pulled her head back and looked at him. She wanted him to know, to have no doubts about her feelings.

“I love everything about you,” she said. “I love your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your smell. I love the way you move, I love how sometimes a piece of hair falls down over your forehead and you push it back. I love your fingers. I love the way you only call me Lizzy when we’re intimate. I love that you don’t hate my family. I love that you’re a musician and a judge. I love that you’ve raised your sister. I love your accent. I love that you ride horses.”

He looked at her in surprise at this outburst. She continued.

“I love that you hate raisins. I love that you won’t admit that you like porn. I love that you love Led Zeppelin. I love the way your belly button is a little off center. I love that your knees are ticklish. I love the way you say my name when we make love, and the way you say it differently when we fuck. I love that you miss your mother still. I love the way you snore and the way you hate it when I leave you in bed in the mornings.” She paused and took a breath.

“And I hate that I’ll never be able to really tell you how much I love you,” she finished. She looked into his eyes, saw that he was affected by her confessions. His face bore such an expression of love, tenderness, and gratitude that she nearly wanted to cry. Instead she kissed him.

“I feel like I’ve loved you forever,” she whispered, “as if we were picking up in this life from another when we loved before. Even when I didn’t want to love you, I felt as if I had no control, it was written out by another hand.” She kissed him again.

“You are everything to me, Elizabeth,” he murmured against her lips, leaning over her. She wrapped her arms around him. “Everything. You’re the only woman to bring me such happiness to make me feel like I only began to live when I began to love you,” he said in her ear. “Nobody else, ever.” He kissed her shoulder tenderly and then continued,
“I loved you yesterday and I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow and the day after and Monday next,” he said against her cheek. “I’ll never stop loving you, Lizzy. I can’t, I’m helpless.” He kissed her eyelids.

Both were quivering masses of emotional jello by the end of the night. He had never felt so stripped, as if his doubts had been scrubbed away with sand and his emotions were settling on his raw skin. She loved him, she wanted to marry him, she never wanted to leave him. After so many months of doubt and struggle and many more months of niggling fears, he finally felt safe.

He clutched her tightly to him and twined his fingers through hers, feeling the heavy weight of her ring. His thumb stroked across it again and he kissed the back of her neck.

“Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth,” he murmured as he drifted off to sleep.