The Texas Billionaire's Baby (13 page)

She was brushing her teeth when Logan rapped on the door. “I’m going to check on Daniel.”

“Okay,” she murmured around her toothbrush.

“Will you be ready to go down to breakfast in about half an hour?”

She took the toothbrush out of her mouth and swallowed. Wiping her mouth with a towel, she said clearly, “I think I’m going to skip breakfast and pack. I’ll order something from room service, then we’ll meet back here in time to leave for the airport.”

He opened the door, then stepped inside.

She’d put on the white, fluffy robe the hotel provided, and right now she was grateful for it.

“Gina, about the birth control—the possibility of you being pregnant just threw me for a loop.”

His green eyes were turbulent with emotions she didn’t understand or know anything about. “Why?”

He seemed to debate with himself then said, “When Amy told me she was pregnant, I thought it was the happiest moment of my life. But then a few months later everything went to hell. Just thinking about the idea brought it all back.”

“I can see how it would,” she said softly, grateful he was sharing this with her, thankful he wasn’t closing himself off to her.

Logan had pulled on jeans and a snap-button shirt. His tall, hard body seemed to fill the bathroom. She remembered how his body had covered hers, how he’d kissed her, how he’d touched her. And she wanted last night back. She hated this tension between them. She wished he’d hold her.

But he didn’t. He just asked again, “Are you sure you don’t want breakfast?”

“Positive,” she said with a smile she didn’t feel.

“All right. I’ll meet you back here in a little while.”

She stood perfectly still, unable to go to him. He seemed unable to move toward her.

He left the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Gina gripped the sink, took a couple of deep breaths, then shed the robe and stepped into the shower. The hot water was soothing and she let it wash over her, trying not to think…trying to deny the
fact that Logan might not be ready for a new relationship. He might not be ready for her to be an integral part of his life.

Fifteen minutes later, she’d toweled off and dressed when the phone in her room rang. She picked it up, thinking it might be Logan.

“Dr. Rigoletti?” a male voice asked.

“Yes, this is she.”

“Good morning. It’s Dr. Silverstein. We spoke briefly at dinner last night.”

She remembered the man. He had kind eyes and silver wire-rimmed spectacles. “Yes, Dr. Silverstein, I remember. Do you want to speak to Logan?”

“No, actually I’d like to meet with you for a few minutes. Is this a good time?”

She checked her watch. “I have a few minutes.”

“My room is down the hall from yours. There’s a sitting area at the end of the hall. Shall we meet there?”

Gina’s radar had told her she’d have nothing to fear from Dr. Silverstein, so she didn’t hesitate to say, “Sure. I’ll meet you there in five minutes.”

Gina had dressed in white jeans and a navy knit top. Now she quickly slipped into sandals and stopped long enough to dab some gloss on her lips. After picking up her purse, she let the hotel-room door close behind her and went down the hall.

Dr. Silverstein was standing at the windows that looked out over the city. “I’m grateful that you could give me a few minutes.”

“What’s this about?” she asked, puzzled, as they both took a seat.

“I searched your credentials and work history on the Internet last night. They’re very impressive.”

“I feel as if I’m interviewing for something,” she said, joking.

“Not interviewing exactly, but I did wonder if you do any consultation work…if you do any outside training.”

“I did in Connecticut and Massachusetts. But when I set up the Baby Grows practice in Lubbock, I concentrated on that.”

“Would you consider doing it again?”

“Where?

“My company has facilities in Houston, Dallas and Tyler.”

The way Logan had acted this morning, she didn’t know what the future held for them. Still, she thought about Dr. Silverstein’s offer and said, “I’m really flattered by your offer and thank you so much for considering me. But for now I want to concentrate on my practice in Lubbock.”

“You won’t even discuss a consultation fee?”

She smiled at him. “Not at the present time.”

Thoughtfully, he studied her. “Logan told me a little about your sessions with Daniel. You know, don’t you, that there’s a need for DVDs for parents and more centers like yours? I’d really like you to consider that.”

She thought of a business plan she’d developed after she wrote her dissertation. The plan was similar to what Dr. Silverstein was suggesting.

“You
have
considered it, haven’t you?” he asked perceptively. “More than one center? In more than one city?”

“Years ago after I worked on my Ph.D., I wrote up a business plan.”

“Would you consider letting me see it?”

Something about that idea was exciting. After all, what if Logan decided she had no place in his life? The idea of having a baby with her had definitely unnerved him. For the past hour she’d been thinking about the repercussions of that. She did understand the pain he’d gone through with his wife. But if he really wanted a future with Gina, would he be in as much turmoil as she sensed he was in?

She thought about the future and dreams and she knew she couldn’t count on a life with Logan in it. “I’d have to think about it.”

“Well…I’d like to see your concept. Our hospital system is large enough to invest in a project like that.” Dr. Silverstein slipped his hand into his suit-coat pocket and brought out a card. He handed it to her. “That’s my contact information—e-mail, home phone, fax and cell phone.”

She slipped the card into a pocket in her purse and stood. “I’ll keep it in a safe place.”

“On your refrigerator under a magnet would be good. Then it will be front and center and you won’t forget about the idea.”

She laughed. “I won’t forget.”

After they shook hands, Dr. Silverstein headed toward the elevator and she hurried toward her room. She had to finish packing for her trip home with Logan.

Home. Maybe soon he would see that the three of them
could
have a home together.

Logan had gone from paradise to hell almost as fast as he could say his name.

As he drove home from the airport Sunday afternoon, he glanced over at Gina in the passenger seat. She went from staring distractingly out the side window to
checking on Daniel in the back where he sat in his car seat beside Hannah. His son was oblivious to the tension between him and Gina, but Logan was sure Hannah could feel it.

Last night with Gina had been world-splitting. The first time they’d made love he’d been so concerned about her and her reactions he hadn’t gotten lost in the immensity of it. But last night, not using birth control—

The idea of Gina being pregnant unnerved him. Because he wasn’t ready for another commitment? Because Amy had died for Daniel? Because Logan had thought sex with Gina would stay in the realm of satisfying physical needs?

If he accepted the fact that Gina had a place in his life, everything would change. Absolutely everything.

He did not want another commitment that could tear his heart out. He’d been through the wringer twice and the bottom line was, Gina had left once before. She could leave again.

Logan’s cell phone rang. He checked the readout on his hands-free apparatus and pressed a button, aware that both Gina and Hannah would be able to hear the conversation. “Hi, Maggie. What’s up?”

“Hey, Logan. Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. I’m on the way back to Sagebrush from the airport.”

“How was the trip? Are the clinical trials from the new cancer drug proceeding on schedule?”

He summed up what he’d learned in his meetings on Saturday. Then he asked, “Is that why you called?”

“Not exactly. I finished digitizing the videos. I have a break between scripts. I had this bright idea that I could drive down this afternoon, spend the week with
you and Daniel, and you could see what I’ve done with the DVD. I think you’ll like it.”

By
like it
she meant he’d
remember
. He could watch Amy float across the screen, hear her words and think he could go back in time. His chest tightened at the thought. But then he understood this was something he had to do for Daniel. He was sure Maggie had put her best effort into producing the DVD. “Sure, drive on down. It doesn’t matter how late it is when you get here.”

He had a feeling sleep wasn’t going to come easily tonight.

“See you in a few hours,” Maggie said and clicked off.

Gina looked over at him and their eyes caught and held for a second—a very intense second. Had she expected him to invite her to stay over at the house tonight? What had
he
expected? That they’d go their separate ways? Entwine their bodies together again?

They entered the outskirts of Sagebrush. “Do you want to come home with us for a while?” he asked Gina, not at all sure what he wanted her to say.

“Just drop me off at my place,” she said. “I have cases to look over before tomorrow.”

Logan couldn’t blame the hollowness in his heart on fate this time. But he had some heavy thinking to do and it would be easier to do without Gina laughing and playing with his son.

On Sunday evening, Gina’s heart ached. She thought about Logan, Maggie and Daniel together at the estate. Maggie had most likely re-created the past for Logan with her DVD. Would he even want to think about the future?

Gina understood why he might not want her there during Maggie’s visit. But another part of her just didn’t understand—not after what she and Logan had shared.

When she climbed the steps to the attic of the Victorian, she hoped to find her business plan right away. She headed toward the seven boxes stacked in one corner, a bit set apart from two trunks, an old wardrobe and a few more cartons. Tessa had told her the wardrobe and trunks had been there when she moved in. They belonged to the landlady.

In spite of herself, Gina flashed back to the expression on Logan’s face in bed that morning as they’d talked about the possibility of her being pregnant.
I’ll support you
, he’d said and she’d heard the duty in his voice.

If she was pregnant, she’d have to think about her child’s future. She would
not
depend on Logan for monetary support, especially if he didn’t want to be their child’s father.

By the time she’d sorted through box number three, she was almost ready to give up. But at the bottom of the box, she saw the blue folder. She paged through the plan inside the folder, remembering how ardently she’d worked on it. In the pocket in front, she found the disk.

There would be no harm in e-mailing the files to Dr. Silverstein. Would there?

A
week and a half later, Logan stood at the day-care center site and swiped the sweat from his brow. He didn’t know what he was doing out here in the afternoon sun in a dress shirt and suit slacks, but he couldn’t seem to work, couldn’t concentrate, needed to be outside. He might as well go home. But he wasn’t that kind of CEO. He wasn’t that kind of boss…unless Daniel needed him.

Last week Maggie had convinced him to go clothes shopping with her. Daniel was outgrowing everything. Logan had gone, but the whole time all he could think about was that he’d rather be doing it with Gina.

Was she pregnant? Just how soon would she use a pregnancy test?

He should call her, but—

His cell phone beeped and he checked the caller ID,
knowing he had to call Gina but not sure of what he was going to say when he did. It had been ten days since they’d talked. Would she call him if she was pregnant? If she wasn’t? He recognized the name on the screen. “Dr. Silverstein. What can I do for you?”

“This time it’s much simpler than asking you to raise a million dollars for the foundation.”

Logan chuckled. “Well, I’m glad to hear that. What kind of help do you need?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Rigoletti.”

“I see,” Logan said, hoping to prompt more information.

“She sent me the business plan for Baby Grows. It’s comprehensive and timely. She’s going to fly to Houston the first week in August to discuss giving seminars here for our pediatric physical therapists. She’d be a great asset and your endorsement might help her make up her mind—about the seminars
and
the business plan.”

“Tell me about the business plan,” Logan requested, in turmoil about where this was going.

“Essentially, it proposes setting up Baby Grows practices all over the country. There would be a central headquarters for training personnel who would then be sent to other locations.”

Logan considered how Gina had moved around from Connecticut to Massachusetts then back to Connecticut again. He thought she’d returned to Sagebrush to settle in and stay. But maybe that hadn’t been her plan. Maybe she wanted to travel all over the country. If she did, what would that mean to him and Daniel? What if
she
was pregnant?

At Logan’s silence, Silverstein continued, “Logan, I
think this is a profitable idea in the making for investors and for her. She could make money hand over fist and never have to worry about her future again.”

After Logan got off the phone with Silverstein, he had to ask himself if Gina really
did
want to be CEO of her own corporation. Just how would a baby figure into that? He had to talk to her. He had to know.

Logan left work early after all. But instead of going home he headed into Lubbock—to Baby Grows. He needed to have this conversation with Gina
now
.

The drive to Lubbock intensified his concerns. In spite of himself, he found he remembered too well the day Gina had left…the evening she’d returned his mother’s locket and rejected his proposal. The old resentment grabbed on to him and held tight. He’d been here before—with Gina putting her future ahead of anything they might have together. How could they spend time together if she was running around the country? What if she decided to move her practice to somewhere more inviting? What if she decided to leave this practice under other management and set up headquarters somewhere else? He knew how that worked. Businesses did it all the time.

One thought after another ran rampant in his head. Daniel would miss her. Maybe she’d never meant to stay.

When the sliding-glass doors opened to give him entrance to the Baby Grows practice, he spotted a therapist working with a group of three babies and their moms. The moms were sitting on the floor and the babies were lying on their tummies.

He knew those exercises. He’d done them with Daniel at Tessa’s encouragement.

The door to Gina’s office was closed, but the blind
in the door was open. She was working at the computer to the side of her desk.

He rapped on the door.

As she glanced up, she spotted him through the open blind. Rising from her chair, she came around the desk to the open door. She was wearing her smock with babies and rattles printed all over it. She must have been working with infants earlier.

“Logan, this is a surprise! Is Daniel okay?”

“Daniel’s fine. I need to talk to you in private.”

At the tone of his voice, her forehead creased with concern and she seemed to pale. Then she straightened her spine and looked him straight in the eye. “Come in. We’ll talk.”

Once he was inside, she closed the door as well as the blind. He’d wanted privacy and they had it. She motioned to the two chairs in front of her desk. “We can sit and—”

“I don’t need to sit. I have a question for you. When were you going to tell me your plans for Baby Grows? Silverstein says you’re flying to Houston again to talk about consulting…that you’d like to open developmental centers across the country. Was this in your plans when you came to Sagebrush?”

To her credit, she didn’t become defensive. “I shared with Dr. Silverstein a business plan I had developed a few years ago. It’s a dream, Logan. It’s a dream to set up programs where parents can learn how to strengthen their babies and help them grow.”

“I thought you returned here to be with your family and settle down.”

“And to make peace with you.”

He was silent.

“It’s never going to happen, is it, Logan? Peace between us? Forgiveness from you?”

“I forgive you,” he said tersely, as if that was all she needed to hear. “Last Saturday night I proved that, didn’t I? I couldn’t have—”

“Made love with me the way you did if you hadn’t forgiven me? Can’t you say the words, Logan?”

He felt his face flush.

She went on. “Or maybe love didn’t enter into it for you. Maybe it was all about physical release and nothing else.” She waited, as if she wanted him to deny it.

“All I know, Gina, is that you left once before. How can I trust that you won’t leave again?”

She looked upset…in as much turmoil as he was. The corner of her lip quivered. “I want to make sure I understand you. Are you saying you won’t give me your love until you’re sure I’ll make you and Daniel the focus of my life?”

“How can we have a relationship if you don’t?”

“
Do
we have a relationship, Logan? I haven’t heard from you for over a week.”

“Maggie was here and…I’ve been busy.”

She let his words stand between them until she said, “I know Daniel has to be the focus of your life. And you have an empire to run. Do I fit in at all?”

He knew she did; maybe he just didn’t want to admit it. “Did you use a pregnancy test?”

She sighed. “Yesterday, I had an appointment with my gynecologist. I’m
not
pregnant. I was going to call you.”

He felt relief, yet another part of him was sad at the news, too. “So now you have nothing standing in your way if you want Silverstein to buy into your plan.”

She shook her head. “You’re using that as an excuse.”

“An excuse for what?”

Hesitating for a few moments, she looked down at her hands then back up at him. The emotion in her eyes spilled over into her voice. “An excuse not to love at all, ever again. You’re still angry I left when you proposed. You’re still angry because Amy chose Daniel over her life with you.”

Her words struck him like a physical blow. “How
dare
you say that. I could
never
be angry with Amy for wanting to save our child.”

“You wanted her to fight.”

“Of course, I wanted her to fight! I wanted it all. I wanted my wife
and
my baby.”

“But she didn’t see it your way.”

No, she hadn’t. But he wasn’t going to get into that with Gina now. He’d wrestled with all of it when Amy had been diagnosed with cancer and made her decision. He wasn’t going to wrestle with it again.

So he tossed a question at Gina. “What about
you?
Can you really love? Sure you were young when you left, but you knew what you wanted. You wanted that Ph.D. You wanted to
be
somebody. Apparently being my wife wouldn’t have been enough. That’s
why
you left. All the talk about not wanting to let down your parents, putting Angie through college. Those were side issues that coincided with your ambition. You had it then and you have it now.”

“My ambition?” Now Gina’s cheeks were red, her eyes were wide, dark with something he hadn’t figured out yet.

“You think ambition was my main reason for leaving? Let me tell you, Logan, there were a lot of reasons why I left. One you don’t even know about.”

“And that was?” he prodded.

“That reason was your father telling me he’d disinherit you if I married you.”

In the ensuing silence, everything inside Logan went stone-cold. “I don’t believe you.”

“I have
never
lied to you, Logan, and I won’t start now. At first I thought he was bluffing. I thought he’d never do that to you. So I kept seeing you. I kept falling deeper in love with you. Then at the end of the summer, when my mom and dad talked with me about it, about how young we both were—about how we both had futures we shouldn’t limit—I kept wondering, what if your father
wasn’t
bluffing? You were going to take over the company. You were going to be his protégé. You’d told me how remote your father could be. But the family business was your connection. You’d looked forward all your life to working with him, making him proud, becoming the one in charge someday. I couldn’t let him take that away from you.
I
couldn’t take that away from you.”

Logan felt sweat break out on his brow. When he’d set eyes on Gina again two-and-a-half months ago, the numbness that had been inside of him since Amy died had begun melting. But now it was back. It kept him from feeling too much, from seeing too much, from analyzing too much.

But he still didn’t want to believe what Gina had said. “Why didn’t you tell me before you left?”

Sinking down on the desk, she took a deep breath. “As you said, I was eighteen and not very sure of myself, especially not with you. Why would Logan Barnes want
me?
I had so many insecurities. Why would I think you’d choose me over the life you’d been born for?”

Yes, he would have had to make a choice—Gina or the legacy his father had promised him.

“Tell me something, Logan. At twenty-two, what
would
you have chosen? A life with me without all the trimmings? Or a future with your father—the man you’d worked your whole life to get to notice you?”

Logan had been hopelessly in love with Gina at twenty-two. If he’d had to choose, he would have chosen his love for her. But then he thought about his father’s stroke, his father teaching him everything he knew, his father approving of some of his decisions, disapproving of others, How long had that taken? One year? Two? Three? Would he have stood up to his father if the stroke hadn’t happened? He’d never know.

Gina’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “At least—” Her voice broke. “Fourteen years ago, you told me you loved me and wanted to marry me. I was foolish to walk away. I should have stayed and fought for you, and believed you would fight for me. But now I don’t think you’re willing to fight for anyone but Daniel. After we made love without protection, you withdrew.”

“Gina—”

“Please, let me finish. The idea of a baby with me totally rattled you. I’ve been sorting through all the reasons why. Because you don’t love me and we’re together again for old times’ sake? Because you felt sorry for me and wanted to make up for the fact you weren’t there for me? Why
didn’t
you come after me, Logan? I know now your dad had his stroke. But after our conversation, couldn’t you tell by my voice that something was wrong? Why didn’t you ask? Why didn’t you call again? Why didn’t you come and see me? If you had…”

A tear rolled down her cheek and her voice caught.
“If you had, maybe we could have held each other. Maybe we would have had each other. I’ve taken the blame for our breakup all these years, but I’m not sure I should have. Some of that blame was
yours
, too.”

“You left,” he said almost stubbornly.

“Yes. And I came back.”

“So why are you flying to Houston in August?” His tone was still accusatory. He didn’t want to see what she was trying to show him. He
did
want all the blame to be on her.

She sighed, a deep, sad sound. “Because I realize deep in my heart that you’re going to pull away. When we were in the car and Maggie called, I sensed you didn’t want me anywhere near you and her and Daniel. I understand that you want to cherish Amy’s memory. But if I were truly going to be part of your life, if you were really going to let me in, wouldn’t you want me there, too? And if not, if you thought Maggie might not understand, wouldn’t you explain that to me so that I didn’t feel as if you were pushing me away? You pushed me away hard, Logan. The dream of my business plan coming to fruition, and the idea of doing consultations was a way for me to pick up myself by my bootstraps, stay in Sagebrush near my family for now, and figure out what comes next. When I learned coping mechanisms, one of them was planning for every possibility. After all, loving you all those years ago brought
me
pain, too.”

Looking at Gina’s beautiful face, seeing her tears run down her cheek into the black curls there, noticing the way she was holding on to the desk for support, he realized he never should have come here to have this conversation. Her office wasn’t private. He should have
shown her more respect than to do this at her professional home base.

“You’d better leave, Logan.” She swiped the tears from her cheek. “I have a session with a new client in fifteen minutes and I need to pull myself together.”

She’d given him a lot to think about. He felt barraged by emotions and feelings and knowledge that he had somehow to shake into place, sort the good from the bad and figure out what he was left with.