The Stillness Of You (14 page)

I rolled
over and pushed him onto his back, my eyes on his as I lifted my
dress just enough for him to catch sight of my baby blue panties,
and to allow my legs enough room to straddle him. I had no idea
where this was leading too—scratch that, of course I knew where
this was leading to, but I didn’t know how far we were going to
go.

Was I
really going to sleep with him tonight? Could I give in and do it?
Would I regret it? Would he take what I offered and then end this?
Whatever
this
was?

His hands
settled on either side of me, his fingers caressing my bare thighs
as my gaze rolled over every indent and muscle that I could see. He
was hard, I felt his erection against my crotch and an almost
pained expression crept across his face when I bent forward.

“Jesus,
Georgia,” he said harshly when I reached down and licked a
nipple.

I kissed
my way over to the intricate tattoo that graced his left pectoral,
my breath hitching when his hands claimed my hips, his fingers
digging in as he held me against him. He thrust upward and I knew
he could tell how turned on I was.

“What’s the
tattoo mean?” I barely got the words out.

His eyes
glittered and my heart skipped, it fumbled and took off again.
“Courage.”

My
fingers traced the outline of it, taking a moment and trying to get
a hold of myself. “I like it.”

“Take your top
off,” he rasped.

My eyes
flew to his and a low, sexy grin spread across his face, though his
gaze remained intense. “It’s only fair, don’t you
think?”

Slowly I
reached behind my neck and undid the ties of my halter dress. Once
they were loose I let them fall forward and then tugged on the
ends, inhaling sharply as the material rolled over my erect
nipples, until I was exposed fully.

I had
been naked with guys many times before. But he made me feel as if
this was the first time that mattered. And I couldn’t believe it,
but I was nervous. Damn nervous. And this was coming from the girl
who had doffed her top in public more times than she could
remember.

“
Holy
fuck, you’re beautiful.” He sounded as if he was in pain and he
shifted abruptly, his hands traveling up my waist as he righted
himself. No longer was he on his back, but now he was sitting,
facing me.

The look in his
eyes was something fierce and I think I forgot to breathe because
when he dipped his head and slid his hot, wet mouth across my
nipples I exhaled sharply and grabbed his shoulders for
support.

“So fucking
beautiful,” he murmured.

His hands
were on my ribcage and I couldn’t move if I wanted to. He kissed
every inch of my breasts and when he closed his mouth over one of
my nipples and suckled, hard, I nearly lost it. Each pull shot
through my body and hit me hard in gut, churning everything hot
with need. A need that traveled lower.

A need that
burned.

“Ben,” I
whispered, my hands now in his hair, holding his head in place
because I didn’t want any of these sensations to end.

I wanted more
.

I moved
my hips suggestively, grinding my body on him.
Loving the feel of his erection pressed
into me.

More
.

“We gotta
stop.”

Wait. What?

“
No,” I
said on a half moan. “It’s okay. I won’t freak out like last
time.”

He looked
up at me, his eyes soft, his breaths ragged. “Well that’s good to
know.” His eyes fell to my bare breasts and with a groan he
gathered up the ends of my halter top and leaned over my
shoulder.

I rested
my forehead on his chest, not really sure what had just happened.
Maybe he didn’t want me. Maybe this was a game and he was seeing
how far he could go?

When was
the last time I had been with a guy who wanted to wait? Had he
somehow figured out how screwed up I was? Was this his way of
letting me down gently?

My
fingers splayed out along his chest as he carefully lifted my hair
off my neck. I heard his heart beating. Rapidly. Hard.
Fast.

And it confused
me more than ever.

“
Ben,” I
said shakily.

“It’s okay,
peaches.”

Peaches.
I loved that.

My dress
was tied and his breath was warm along my exposed neck. “I don’t
want you to think this is easy for me. Fuck, I’ve dreamt of getting
you naked in my bed for days now.” His fingers caressed my skin and
I shuddered. “But we’re not quite there yet.”

“
I
don’t…I don’t understand. Don’t you want me?” I yanked my head back
so that I could see him. Shadows fell across his face and I hoped I
didn’t look as pathetic as I sounded.

“
Georgia,
it’s easy to give in to something that feels good.” His eyes
smoldered. “But I don’t want easy. I’ve had easy. I want something
worth a hell of a lot more than easy.”

Oh.

Oh. Wow.

It was
then, in that moment, that I knew I was in deep trouble. Ben
Lancaster was going to break me and I didn’t care.

I didn’t care
at all.

Ben

“You’ve got it
bad, bro.”

I was at
the airport with Eden waiting for her flight back home. It was a
week since Georgia had moved her stuff into the barn and made it
into a cool studio. A week since I’d covered those luscious breasts
and put the brakes on what had to be the hottest make out session
I’d ever had.

A week of
endless fucking cold showers.

I glanced at my
sister and scowled, but she just smiled and shook her head.

“Bad,” she
repeated.

“No thanks to
you.”

“What’s that
supposed to mean?”

“
Don’t
play games, Eden. You made it pretty much impossible for me to get
Georgia alone all week.” She opened her mouth to say something but
I didn’t give her the chance. “No, don’t bother denying it. I just
don’t get why.”

“You need to be
careful, Ben.”

I
frowned.
“What’s that
supposed to mean?”

Eden
shrugged and grabbed her bag off the floor as her flight was called
to board. “Don’t get me wrong. I like her but she’s holding
something back. I can’t figure it out and I just…”

I got to
my feet and shoved my hands into the front pockets of my cargo
shorts. “You just what?”

She
glanced at the ticket counter and sighed. “I don’t want you to get
in too deep with her until...” At my raised eyebrows she paused,
her brows furrowed. “I’m serious, Ben. I can’t read her. She’s
really good at deflecting and I don’t know where she’s at. I don’t
know anything about her all, except that she lives with her brother
and she dropped out of college. Don’t you find that kind of
weird?”

“College isn’t
for everyone, Eden.”

“
That’s
not what I mean and you know it. I don’t know anything
else
about her. She
never talks about her family or her friends. Doesn’t she have any
girlfriends? She paints a lot and yes, she’s talented but what are
her goals? Is she just going to fill up your barn with her
paintings and leave them there for the mice to admire? I’m not the
one sleeping with her so that’s fine if she doesn’t want to share
that shit with me, but you? Has she shared any of that stuff with
you?”

My scowl
deepened. I hated that my sister hit the nail right on the head. I
knew nothing. Fuck, I didn’t even know who this Seamus guy was and
she was seeing him today. I tried to talk her into coming with me
to the airport. I said after Eden’s flight left I’d take her
anywhere she wanted to go. To the beach. Golfing. A bar.
Anything.

She
laughed. Said she couldn’t and told me not to worry.
Seamus was just a friend. And
besides, she’d just be in the way.

“
I know
this is serious for you, Ben.
I see it. Shit, you can’t keep your eyes off of her. But
with Georgia…” she shrugged. “Unless she’s willing to share
everything with you, I don’t see this working out. You’re not the
kind of guy who does things half way. You never have
been.”

“Eden.”

“
No, I’m
serious, Ben. Be careful. She’s different from any of the other
girls you’ve dated. I’ve spent the last week at your place and
she’s been there every day and I don’t feel I know her any better
than I did the first day I met her.”

“Maybe she
doesn’t like you.”

Her
eyebrows shot up. “Maybe, but that doesn’t change
anything.”

“
Eden.
Fuck, what are you trying to say?” Irritated, I scowled at her.
“She’s the coolest girl I’ve ever met.”

“
I know
she is and that’s why I want you to promise me you’ll be careful
with her. You’re not used to meeting anyone who’s cooler than you.
This is a first.” Eden bent forward and kissed my cheek, yanking
the top of my Cubs cap until it bent low over my eyes. “I love you
dick head.”

And then she
was gone.

I took a moment
and thought about what she’d said and even though it rubbed me the
wrong way, Eden was right. But she was also wrong.

I’d been
paying it cool, watching Georgia from the sidelines all week—busy
with the landscapers, the roof guys, the window guys. My older
sister had flown in for two days and Matt had come out to see the
place, as well.

We ran together
every morning but Eden joined us too.

So the
more I thought about it, I decided that my sister was being a
little unfair. There had been no time to get to know Georgia. Not
really. The few times I’d been able to get her alone we’d made out
like a couple of horny teenagers—Christ the girl could kiss—and
kissing didn’t lead to conversation.

It led to
heavy petting. And a fuck-load of cold showers.

I began
to move through the airport and once I was inside my truck pulled
out my cell phone. I was going to send Georgia a text but then
thought, fuck it, and called her instead. I was done keeping my
distance.

Done
waiting.

I wanted
to know everything about this girl and I was going to start digging
in tonight. Eden was gone, I had my place to myself and there were
no distractions. No excuses. It was game on.

She picked up
on the third ring and I couldn’t hide the goofy grin that spread
across my face at the sound of her voice.

“Hey,” she
breathed.

“
Hey.” I
cleared my throat. What the hell was wrong with me? I was already
tongue tied. “What are you doing?”

“
Nothing,” she said quickly. “I mean, I’m having lunch with
Seamus in half an hour but other than that, nothing.”

Seamus.
Seamus the fucking cat. I was going to find out who this guy was if
it killed me. My good mood washed away, replaced with irritation.
“Maybe I’ll swing by.”

A pause. “Swing
by?”

“Sure, I’d love
to meet your buddy.”

Another
pause. The damn pauses pissed me off. It was like she was trying to
think of something to say and if she was doing that it meant that
this Seamus guy wasn’t just a ‘friend.’ Who the hell was
he?

“You wouldn’t
enjoy lunch with Seamus.”

“I
wouldn’t.”

It was
funny how this girl was able to tie me up in less than a minute. I
thought of Eden’s words—of how she was holding back—and I clenched
my teeth together. Even more pissed I glared out the window,
thumping my palm against the steering wheel.

“
No.
He’s…well, he’s just different and you’d find him
boring.”

“Really.”

“
It
sounds like you don’t believe me.”

I didn’t.
Her voice was at least a pitch higher than normal and I knew
something wasn’t right. Was she cheating on me?

Panic hit
me hard and I blew out a long, hot breath. Maybe her feelings
weren’t as deep as mine. I thought of what Eden had said and my
mood darkened. Had I read this all wrong? Was she playing
me?

“Georgia, who
is this guy?”

Another
pause.

“
I don’t
want to talk about him.” She sounded small.

My fuse
was burning real bright at about this point. I wasn’t used to being
jerked around and right now this girl had me dancing on the edge of
a rope like I was a fucking puppet.

“Well that sure
as hell says a lot.”

“
Ben,”
she said softly. “He’s not what you think.”

“
I don’t
know what he is or what to think because you’re not giving me
anything.”
Fuck.
“What are we doing here?”

I head
her exhale, a long, shaky breath. “What do you want,
Ben?”

A hot
little blonde had been staring at me from across the parking lot
for a few minutes and she ambled over, a small, sexy smile on her
face. She’d eyed me up in the airport too. I knew the look. I knew
what she wanted.

What do I want
?

“
I can
tell you what I don’t want.
I don’t want to be the guy you’ve got in your back pocket
while you’re fucking someone else.” I knew the words were harsh but
they fell out of me before I could stop them.

The
blonde was beside my truck with a black sharpie in her hand. She
wanted an autograph. She licked her lips suggestively.