The Skinny Confidential: A Babe's Sexy, Sassy Health and Lifestyle Guide (9 page)

Stand tall with a weight in each hand and your arms out at your sides.

Flip your hands up and down.

THREE EASY EXERCISES YOU CAN DO WHILE WATCHING “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF WHATEVER.”

Sexy Stemmers (AKA good, old-fashioned lunges):
Lunges, lunges, lunges! Tone the legs fast and efficiently by standing with your feet hip-width apart and parallel. Place your hands on your waist. Step forward with one leg and lower your body by bending both knees. Take both legs to ninety degrees. Hold for a second and switch. All the pressure should be in your heels. Do three sets of twenty at least twice a week.

Stand with your feet hip-width apart, and step forward with one leg.

Cracked-Out Squats:
Feet are hip-width apart and parallel. Bend the knees, making sure to keep them in line with the butt. Hands are on the hips. After you’ve done twenty squats, hold the last one down and pulse gently (down and up) for thirty seconds for three sets.

Stand with feet hip-width apart and hands on your hips.

Bend your knees and lower your body toward the floor.

Balls to the Walls:
Grab a huge exercise ball. Press your lower back into the ball while contracting your abs. Feet are hip-width apart and parallel, hands are behind your ears. Press your spine into the ball and do a sit up. Do three sets of fifteen.

Lie down on an exercise ball and do some sit ups to work your abs.

LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE ASS.

If you want to tone your butt, strength training should become your overnight bestie.

Here are my favorite ways to exercise off the stuff that hangs out of the bikini:

The Butt Lifter:
Come down on all fours. Kick your right leg back like a donkey and then pull it back in (leaving your left leg on the ground) for forty-five seconds. You’re targeting the smile in the right side of the butt. Repeat on the left side. Do three sets.

The J.Lo:
Hip lifts are key, peeps. If you’re craving some curves, you’ll love this one. Lie on your back with your knees bent and arms at your sides, hands pressing into the floor. Feet are hip-width apart and parallel. Press your feet into the ground as you lift your hips upward. Hold the hips up until they’re aligned with your knees and spine. Hold for fifteen seconds and repeat. Do three sets of fifteen.

The J. Lo:
Lie on your back with your knees bent. Lift your hips upward and hold for fifteen seconds.

The Smiley Ass:
Again, you’re targeting the smile where the hamstring meets the butt. This is one of my favorite workouts. Come down onto all fours. Extend one leg straight to the side so it’s coming diagonally off the hip. Point the toe. Take it down to the ground and then bring it slowly up to hip height. Try to even out the pressure in the forearms (or hands). Contract your seat the whole time, rolling your hips under and pulling the abdominals inward toward the spine. Do twenty on each leg (fourty total) for three sets.

Come down on all fours and extend one leg straight to the side.

Bring your leg to the ground and slowly lift to hip height for one rep.

IF WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT BUTT BUSTERS, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BOOBIES.

Dying to make the girls perkier? Welp, there are exercises for that, too.

YA. I WENT THERE.

Sorry, boys; this doesn’t apply to you.

Fun bags are made up of fat that sits on top of the muscle, so while it’s not possible to really work out your breasts, it is possible to add muscle mass to the chest area to make them appear bigger (and perkier).

HERE ARE SOME SUPER-PERKY TA-TA WORKOUTS:

Lifetime Fun Bag (AKA closed-up push ups):
Get on the floor on all fours (plank position). Place your hands close together with index fingers and thumbs touching, forming a diamond on the floor. Do three sets of ten push ups in this position. If that is too hard, perform them on your knees for a modification.

A Real Hooter (using 5-pound/2-kg weights):
Frame your face with the weights (one in each hand). Slowly bring your arms out to the sides, making a goal post shape. Bring your arms back in, weights touching, and that one. After completing fifteen of these, hold the weights still (out like a goal post)and pulse upward and down for forty-five seconds. Do three sets of fifteen with 45-second pulses after each.

Frame your face with the weights.