The Skinny Confidential: A Babe's Sexy, Sassy Health and Lifestyle Guide (12 page)

+ You are what you freaking eat.

+ Don’t overindulge in product.

+ Just because it works for your bestie, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

+ The sun is aging you, so slather SPF on your face, neck and hands on the reg.

+ Keep it simple, stupid.

When people ask me about my skin care regime, I literally LOL.

It’s so simple, it’s almost embarrassing.

BUT WAIT.

Before I divulge my super-simple, easy, cheap tips, let me warn you: Just because my routine works swimmingly for me, doesn’t mean it will work perfectly for everyone.

So that brings me to my first point:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU FREAKING EAT.

If you eat like shit, it will definitely come out on your skin.

Don’t believe me?

Here’s a little proof: Try a juice cleanse.

Your skin will pretty much never look better than what it looks like after a cleanse. That’s because a cleanse flushes out all the nasty-ass toxins. After a juice detox, the skin is literally glowing like a pregnant woman’s.

YUP, YUP, YUP.

Clear, radiant skin is one of the many benefits of cleansing.

Some of my suggestions for a clear complexion can be found at your local grocery store.

Check it:

Kale:
Ahhhh, kale. This vegetable is The Shit. It’s full of so many vits, like A, B, C, E and K. The gorgeous green is also full of iron, potassium, protein, phosphorus and manganese. Kale is number one on my list for a reason: It will make the complexion shine bright like a diamond. Some of my favorite ways to eat (or drink) kale include: homemade salads, fresh juices, kale chips and mixed with quinoa.

YUMMERS.

Blueberries:
How amazing does a kale and blueberry salad sound? OK, just saying. Blueberries are the best natural antioxidant; they fight free radicals caused by ultraviolet (UV) radiation and sick-o pollution. Oh! Another benefit of these sexy berries? They’re anti-aging. Blueberries can be thrown on top of Greek yogurt, blended into any type of smoothie and sprinkled over steel-cut oatmeal.

Salmon:
This little fish heals cells, making them appear more youthful. Salmon’s filled with omega fatty acids, which promote healthy, glowing skin. Add some lemon, chili flakes and ground pepper to it and you’re set for a protein-filled dinner.

Nuts (unsalted):
These babies will make/keep the skin plump and vibrant. It also doesn’t hurt that nuts (almonds, especially) are filled with vitamin E. DIY trail mix by making a nut jar. Throw in dark chocolate chips, unsweetened coconut flakes and/or sunflower seeds. I also love adding nuts to anything I’m baking (brownies, cookies, cakes, etc.).

Flaxseeds:
Poor, poor flaxseeds. They’re often left in the dust. People know about them but tend to forget them. Well, neglect flaxseeds no longer, peeps, because they fight acne. Yes. This seed is known to take away inflammation. Eat up! Add them to oatmeal, Greek yogurt with fruit, baking recipes, smoothies or on top of salads.

Sweet potatoes:
Oh, you know. Only my absolute favorite food ever. Like, ever, ever. People automatically give sweet potatoes a bad rap because they’re in the potato family (which many associate with too many carbs). But hey—listen up! Sweet potatoes are king. Not only are they filled with vitamin A, but they also combat free radicals, which cause aging. Oh, and P.S. Vitamin A is the leading ingredient in many overpriced acne medications. I enjoy a sweet potato baked with a good organic, dairy-free butter, such as Earth Balance
^®
.

Oranges:
You’ve heard this since you were little: Oranges are packed with vitamin C. But wait. That doesn’t mean go chug pasteurized orange juice. That actually means go eat (or juice it yourself) an organic orange. Foods like tomatoes, melons and oranges are filled with vit C, which helps protect the skin from scarring. So later, pock marks! Oranges to the rescue. My favorite way to eat an orange is in a salad. I mix berries, orange slices and kiwi together with four squeezes of lemon and a natural, herbal sweetener like Stevia. Add a sprinkle of cinnamon and thank me later.

Eggs:
If a food could be my boyfriend, it would be eggs. I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They’re packed with protein, filled with antioxidants and contain lots of vitamin E. And! Eggs keep you full for hours. Total win. I prefer scrambled eggs with spicy mango salsa, egg salad with Dijon mustard or an old-fashioned hard-boiled egg with Himalyan pink salt and pepper.

IF YOU WANT TONS OF PIMPLES, EAT A TON OF THESE THESE JUNKY FOODS:

White bread:
Unfortunately, white bread causes antinutrients (boo, boo!), meaning it’s difficult for your bod to absorb any kind of nutrients, vitamins or minerals.

Salt:
It’s bloating and causes inflammation (hello, acne!).

Sugar:
Tends to damage collagen and elastin.

Alcohol:
It’s one of the most dehydrating things you can consume.

If you want the best gas for your car, don’t you want the best foods for your body and skin?

Remember: What you fuel your bod with in a decade will appear on your skin in the next; i.e., what you eat in your 30s will show on your skin in your 40s, and so on and on. Eat like shit = look like shit.

OK, so now that we’re clear on what to eat and what not to eat for healthy skin, let’s talk product.

DON’T OVERINDULGE IN PRODUCT.

I gotta admit, I enjoy a quiet chuckle when I see a girl with 50 pounds of skin-care product.

I mean, do they really think all that crap will magically transform their skin to rival J-Lo’s?

(SIGH).

I’m going to share my biggest skin care secret: a bar of all-natural soap.

How stupidly, ridiculously easy is it to buy a bar of soap?

Let me tell you a little fairy tale. A long time ago a pimply princess went to a holistic skin doctor. The princess couldn’t figure out what the hell was happening to her princess-y skin. The holistic skin doctor told her to stop all of her product use and buy an all-natural bar of soap to use twice a day. The pimply princess went home and tried the holistic skin doctor’s recommendation. After a few days, the princess was no longer zitty—she was now a glowing, radiant princess (me)!

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Go run (yes, run) to your local organic market and pick up a generic (let’s not get crazy; there’s no reason to buy Hawaiian, strawberry or coconut) bar of soap. Make sure it’s all-natural and organic.

None of that chemical shit …’k?

It’s not rocket science.

Wondering what to use for makeup remover?

Grape seed oil. It works like a charm and it’s all-natural.

Oh, and need an amazing moisturizer? Grape seed oil works wonders! Just make sure you use an all-natural SPF afterward.

A toner?

Ya don’t need it while you’re experimenting with your all-natural bar of soap.

Makeup?

Keep it simple for the week you’re doing the soap bar experiment.

And, obviously, practice the above healthful eating tips.

Try this tip for a week and see if it works for you.

For me, it was a real life changer.

Since then I’ve incorporated Cetaphil
^®
into my routine a couple times a week. I love using the Clarisonic
^®
cleansing systems once a week, too. Also, I try to get a facial every couple of months, use an all-natural SPF and make sure my face makeup is washed off before I go to sleep (again, grape seed oil is your new bestie for MU remover—throw away the chemical crap; it causes white dots under the eyes).

Moisturizing is key. I’ve found that organic products such as Eminence
^®
(no, they’re not paying me to say that) are amazing. They’re filled with probiotics and contain all-natural ingredients (can you tell I like all-natural ingreds?).

A common mistake: Young girls using a Clarisonic-like tool every day or every other day. Um, hello! You’re stripping your skin’s natural collagen. Let the skin heal for a few days after exfoliating.

Exfoliating isn’t meant to be practiced every day. In my opinion, if you’re under 35, once a week is enough. If you’re older than 35, two to three days a week is fine.

Simplify your skin care routine for better results. Everything doesn’t have to be so complicated. Too many beauty products are a pain in the ass and usually overkill.

Which brings me to the next rule.

JUST BECAUSE IT WORKS FOR YOUR BESTIE, DOESN’T MEAN IT WILL WORK FOR YOU.

OMFG.

You know what’s annoying?

When people think that just because something works for them, it will work for everyone.

Like, just because I’m obsessed with peaches, doesn’t mean my dad is.

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

And that applies to skin care, too.

You’ve lived with your body all your life. Use mind/body connection to figure out what skin care methods work best for you.

If you have oily-ass skin, stay away from oily-ass foundation.

If you have super dry skin, make sure to always take your makeup off, keep coffee consumption to once a day (drink more water, less coffee) and use a moisturizer that’s all-natural (am I annoying you now?).

Oh, and dear Pimple Poppers: If you’re going to mess with your skin, wash your freaking hands and use a tissue after a hot shower. Make sure you don’t spread the pimple juice (I know, gross, right?) all over your face, because the pimple’s juice is what causes zits to spread everywhere. Ever had one pimple that’s turned into a small patch of pimples? You probably accidentally had the pimple juice spread. Yes, it’s disgusting to talk about, but someone’s got to do it. Love, me.

Anyway, back to rule number three. Be very careful when it comes to testing friends’ products. The worst is when you’re out shopping with friends and there are testers.

Testers scare me.

Experimentation is great (ESP when it’s all-natural). But experiment smart.

Before you slather a lotion promising to cure wrinkles all over your pretty little face, test it on a tiny patch of skin.

EASY, PEASY.

The only thing that should be universally mandatory when it comes to skin care is chugging water. If you and your bestie want to copy one another when it comes to water, be my guest.

Everyone’s skin is different. Do what works best for you, not your neighbor, not your grandma and not your dog … you!

THE SUN AGES YOU, SO SLATHER SPF ON YOUR FACE, NECK AND HANDS ON THE REG.

And then there’s anti-aging.

Aging can be difficult. It’s no fun looking in the mirror and seeing a number eleven between your eyes.

My take on anti-aging skin care is do what works for you. Again, my favorite anti-aging products are by Eminence Organic Skin Care. The products work well with my skin.

But ya wanna know my biggest anti-aging tips?

A hat and SPF.

I’m that dork who wears a hat every day. Hey! Incidental sun exposure, peeps!

If I’m running an errand, I throw on a hat.

(
Side note:
I might or might not have just purchased sun-protectant driving gloves. Yes. Driving gloves. They protect my hands from the sun!).

Sun is the devil.

LIKE, SO SORRY, “JERSEY SHORE”!

At least when it comes to the skin (this includes your hands, neck, arms, legs, feet, etc., not just your precious face).

I know what they say: “You need vitamin D.”

There are other ways to get vitamin D besides basking in the sun like Magda from “There’s Something About Mary.”

Throw away your sick-ass sunning foil and smarten up.

Here are the facts that no one wants to hear: The link between tanning and skin cancer is cray, cray.

Even though there are studies everywhere to confirm this, women still lie in the sun without sunscreen.

When girls ask me about my skin, the first thing I say is: “SUNSCREEN and wear a freaking hat.”

I know, I know. But you “look better with a tan (cry/whine/sigh).”

Welp, you don’t look better with skin cancer cut out of your face. Or sunspots. Or pigmentation.

Instead of the sun, use the spray tan booth. It’s easy and quick. Just make sure you exfoliate and shave before and moisturizer afterward. Also, wash the bottoms of your feet and your hands immediately after you’re done in the booth.

Spray tanning has worked wonders for me. I do it about once every two weeks. The best part: absolutely NO UV rays!

Point:
If you want flawless skin, keep it the hell out of the evil sun.

So, if you’re trying to avoid pigmentation, freckles and sunspots on your skin (I’m guessing—hoping—this applies to everyone in the world?), then keep a hat, sunscreen and sunglasses in your oversized handbag.

KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID.

Stress comes out on your face.

Being stressed will make any pimple, zit or blackhead worse.

Don’t overcomplicate life or skin care. Less stress will keep your skin clear and your life more manageable.

When people are stressed, a hormone called cortisol is released into the system. This mean, old hormone is a ruiner. It tries to ruin your skin’s collagen and sleep patterns, and gets in the way of maintaining that sought-after six pack. Stress mostly robs the skin of important nutrients and creates less oxygen flow.

NO FUN.

Something that
can
benefit your skin is a mask. Here is my favorite all-natural, homemade mask:

THE SKINNY CONFIDENTIAL’S SEX KITTEN COCONUT MASK