The Sisters (35 page)

‘No, I want to,’ Emma said as she picked up her wine glass, took a sip and began to tell her story of how she fell for a married man who’d told her the world’s oldest lie that his marriage was over, when in fact it had never really started, how he was neglected and how he wished he’d met Emma first.

‘How could he do that to you? Even if he was married how could he not come to the hospital?’ Lucinda said, as she sat there not quite believing what Emma was telling her.

‘I asked myself the same question, Lou. It’s the strangest feeling to lie in a hospital bed being told that you’re having a miscarriage when you had no idea you were pregnant in the first place. I spent ages blaming myself. For drinking, partying, working too hard.’

‘But you didn’t know. It’s not your fault.’

‘I know that now. But he treated me as though I was nothing and that hurt so much.’

‘I should have come over.’

‘To do what, Lou?’

‘You’re my little sister. I should have been there for you.’

‘You called me. In fact you were quite annoying with your phone calls.’

‘A phone call isn’t the same. I should have been there with you. God, I’ve been an awful sister.’

‘You’ve had your own problems. It couldn’t have been easy for you. I saw your bank statement on your laptop the other day,’ Emma said quickly. ‘I’m sorry, it was just there.’

‘Ah,’ Lucinda said as she refilled her wine glass. ‘You always were a nosy cow. So you know?’

Emma nodded. ‘How bad is it? I mean it must have been bad for you to come back to London.’

‘Let’s just say that it wasn’t great but I’m sorting it. But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. So how are you feeling now?’

‘I really thought I was over him. I mean, if someone can treat you that badly then you should hate the ground that person walks on. You should want them to suffer through every level of hell and burn, not having them walking up to you in the middle of Soho Square. How can I still be in love with him?’

‘Because it’s your heart and your heart never does what your head tells it do. It just takes time. You can’t beat yourself up about it.’

‘I just feel like I’m betraying womankind and all that crap, plus the baby.’

‘You’re not. Never think that. Look, we’ve all done things that we’re not proud of and I promise you that baby would know what a strong woman he had for a mother…and you know what gran would say, it just wasn’t his time yet. It doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve the baby and it doesn’t mean you won’t be a wonderful mother someday and be with a man who loves, respects you and worships the ground that you walk on.’

‘Preach it Sister Lucinda,’ Emma said with a laugh. ‘I hope that’s how Owen treats you.’

‘We’re not talking about Owen.’

‘Look at you. You’re blushing. You must really like him.’

‘I do actually.’

‘Is the sex good? Because if the sex is rubbish then I suggest you call it a day now.’

‘Emma! Yes, it’s good. Bloody good,’ Lucinda said with a laugh as she picked up a pork dumpling.

‘I’ve missed you sis,’ Emma said over the sounds of the children screaming hysterically as they jumped up and down on a trampoline two doors down.

‘I’ve missed you too.’

‘Since you’ve been back and with dad being ill I’ve thought a lot about what it was like growing up. I mean, who grows up with famous sisters? I’m not saying that we were Greenwich’s answer to the Jackson Five but it was hard, Lou. You were my big sister but I never really grew up with you. I was only 9-years-old when you, Jess and Bea became famous. One minute I’m sitting at home watching Top of the Pops singing along to Snap’s “The Power” at the top of my voice and the next week I’m sitting with dad watching you three sing “Electrify”. I spent more time watching you on TV and reading about you in magazines than spending actual time with any of you. One minute it was all of us together and the next it was just me and mum and dad. It was like I went from being the baby of the family to an only child. You three were always on tour, or in a recording studio and then you left. I didn’t really know you.’ Emma took a deep breath surprised with what had come out of her mouth.

‘I’m so sorry sis,’ Lucinda said as she willed herself to stay strong. ‘I can’t even explain what that time was like. Before we got that first number one, before we were spending every waking hour in the recording studio, before I decided that Euterpe was going to be a success, I was absolutely besotted with you. I’d take you to school, read to you, and sing to you. You were like my little shadow. Do you know that when you were 3 you slept in my bed for a year? You refused to sleep in your own bed. Every time dad put you to bed you’d get up and come into mine. Even if I wasn’t there mum said that she would still find you in my bed.’

‘I don’t remember that.’

‘Well you were only little but you did. Mum was busy with work and dad was also working. Things weren’t easy, we weren’t rich. I remember that mum was teaching during the day and tutoring in the evening. It was difficult and that’s why I worked so hard. I wanted to make things easy for everybody.’

‘But Lou, it didn’t seem that way. Not when Euterpe split up and you pissed off to New York. Don’t get me wrong, I had a very nice side-line selling Euterpe memorabilia at school but I thought I’d get my big sister back.’

‘Ems, there was so much going on. I thought I was doing the best thing for Beatrice and Jessica and I’m not ashamed to admit that I got caught up with the hype. Oh come on, you know what it’s like. You work in PR. Look how easy it is to convince anyone who has ever stood in front of a camera that their shit smells of roses. I believed my own hype and I wanted more.’

‘But what more could you want? You were rich. You were famous! You have talent and I’m telling you only about 20% of my clients have half your talent. Lou, I’ve been out with you. People are constantly looking at you and you haven’t been on TV or sung a note for years.’

‘Emma, no one under 25 knows who I am.’

‘That’s bollocks.’

‘It’s not bullocks. It’s the truth. I’ve learnt to ignore the bullshit, especially after being married to Paul who was the biggest bullshit artist. He told me that I could be as big as Janet Jackson. No, forget that. His best one was that I could be the black Madonna.’

‘The black Madonna?’ Emma said as she put down her now empty wine glass. ‘Lord have mercy.’ She began to laugh uncontrollably.

‘Come on, it’s not that funny,’ Lucinda said as she begun to laugh along.

‘Oh sis, if I haven’t told you already, I’m really glad that you’re back.’

LUCINDA’S HEAD was pounding and the fact that Katelyn had decided to blast music from her room and Reece had been charging up and down the stairs as though he was possessed wasn’t helping one little bit. When Emma had dragged herself from the bed at seven o’clock Lucinda had acknowledged her departure with an indecipherable ‘bye’ and covered her head with the pillow only to be woken two hours later by what felt like a hurricane shaking the foundations of her house. If she’d had her way she’d have spent the entire day in bed, hiding herself from the world whilst she watched bad TV, but as she heard the opening cords of Muse’s
Starlight
blaring through the house she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

‘Katelyn Celeste Morgan, why are you playing music for the whole street?’ Lucinda said as she pushed open Katelyn’s bedroom door. She didn’t have the energy to tell her that her bedroom looked exactly how her head felt. It was in complete disarray, with clothes everywhere and cardboard boxes on every available surface. ‘Low it down,’ Katelyn huffed as she turned down the volume on the dock station whilst Lucinda pushed aside a pile of clothes and sat down wearily on the bed.

‘Don’t take it out on me just because you’ve got a hangover. You should know better, mom.’

‘I’m not hungover.’

‘Yeah right. I saw the bottles that you and auntie Emma left in the garden. Despicable mom. Despicable,’ Katelyn said with a laugh.

‘Shut up you. Why are you packing?’

‘You said we had to get everything ready.’

‘Katy, anything could happen, we may not necessarily be moving out in the next few weeks.’

‘What happened to “you need to be positive” and “don’t waste energy worrying.”’

‘God knows, probably in the bottom of a wine glass,’ Lucinda replied.

‘Awww, my poor mommy, all hungover and miserable,’ Katelyn said as she sat down next to Lucinda and gave her a hug. Lucinda smiled and kissed the top of her head, with the curls escaping from the loosening plaits. ‘Are you nervous?’

‘About what?’

‘The interview. Today’s the day isn’t it?’

‘Yep, today’s the day. What’s she going to think when I turn up looking like I had merlot for breakfast?’

‘You don’t look that bad,’ Reece said as he arrived at the bedroom with a bagel stuffed in his mouth. ‘Even though, you should have a shower you could knock out skunks with that smell, then again it could just be Katelyn.’

‘Hey, shut up. Mom, tell him.’

‘Please, you both need to stop. In fact considering you’re both up so bright and early you should go and buy your school uniforms today. You’re starting next week.’

Both Reece and Katelyn groaned. ‘I can’t believe we have to wear a uniform. That’s just archaic and wrong and a way of turning us into mindless drones,’ Reece said as he sat down next to his mum.

‘Drones. You think uniforms make you drones?’

‘It’s stifling our identities,’ Katelyn added. ‘Uncle Jake said it’s just a way of indoctrinating us into a system.’

‘I don’t really think that you should be taking advice from a man whose uniform consists of Spiderman t-shirts that are older than you,’ Lucinda said dryly. ‘Right, as you’ve both pointed out that I’m not fit for purpose, I’m going to shower and get out of here and you two will go and buy your uniforms and anything else that you need for school next week. I’ve already printed out the list and stuck it to the fridge and if I haven’t told you recently, I love you both very much.’

‘Oh mom, you tell us all the time,’ Reece said as he playfully pulled at her hair.

‘And I’ll keep telling you until I’m blue in the face. I couldn’t have done any of this if you two hadn’t been supporting me. I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better set of children’ Lucinda said as she kissed them both.

‘I love you too mom,’ Katelyn and Reece said together. They still spoke in unison as if their thoughts had merged into one.

There had been an attack of self-doubt and she’d taken out her phone twice, before she’d even stepped into the shower, to cancel the interview; but she knew that she would have been making a big mistake. She thought that she’d done quite a good job on herself even though she had to use her mascara to cover the grey hair that had decided to make a break from freedom from her scalp. Lucinda took a final look at her reflection in her mirror before she stepped out of the Borough High Street exit at London Bridge Station As she crossed the road towards Borough market, she asked herself again why she was feeling so nervous. She’d lost count of the amount of interviews she’d given over the years. Everyone from
Smash Hits
magazine to
The Guardian
had interviewed Euterpe, including early morning breakfast shows in Japan and once Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight. This shouldn’t be a problem but she knew this interview was more than what she wanted for herself; it was her opportunity to finally close the door on her old life.

On reflection, Lily thought that arranging the interview for eleven o’clock had been a stupid idea. Her morning had been beyond manic as she battled her six-year-old son who seemed determined to extend his summer holiday by refusing to get dressed for school and her three-year-old daughter who was usually more than content to run around her nursery as if she owned the place, had suddenly developed separation anxiety and had howled the place down. The restaurant with views of the bustling market was serene with the soothing hum of satisfied diners but it was doing little to settle her nerves. She checked through the list of questions on her notepad feeling much more secure with a good old fashioned notebook and pen. Despite all of the googling that she’d done last night and the pleasure she’d experienced when she spent a good hour playing Euterpe’s greatest hits loudly in the kitchen whilst the children ate their dinner, she was nervous. She took a look at her watch. Lily was early and because of her prior experience interviewing celebrities with an overinflated image of their own self-importance she’d resigned herself to the fact that she’d be waiting for a while as she pulled out her phone and turned on Candy Crush.

‘That game is ridiculously addicted. I’m stuck on level 45 but somehow my son has managed to get to level 247. You’re Lily right?’ Lucinda asked.

‘Oh my gosh, yes, yes. Sorry. It’s not really very professional of me,’ Lily said as she pushed her chair back.

‘Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.’

‘No you didn’t keep me waiting at all. I was early and so are you.’

‘My children and a hangover drove me out the house.’ Lily felt her fears and nerves disappear with how warm and open Lucinda appeared to be.

‘Hangovers are never fun but you know what the perfect cure is,’ Lily replied as her stomach reminded her that the only thing that had entered her mouth that morning was half a cup of coffee and a custard cream.

‘Well, if you don’t mind and only if you join me,’ Lucinda said as she sat down and picked up the menu. ‘I could murder a full English.’

Lily’s ability to make the people she was interviewing feel as though they were with an old friend meant that breakfast had turned into a late lunch accompanied by Lucinda’s insistence that they treated themselves to champagne cocktails. At no point did Lucinda even feel as though she was being interviewed as she sat there and spilled every detail of her life, unabridged.

‘Now you promise me that you won’t make me out to be an egotistical, new age, green juice drinking, my-life-is-so-perfect-bitch, like that article you wrote on Heather Wallis?’

Lily laughed as she thought back to last month’s issue of Allure where she’d interviewed the model. ‘I promise you; you’re nothing like her. I was actually very nice about her. She was a lot worse.’