Authors: Nadine Matheson
‘That smells delicious. Even though you didn’t have to cook for me,’ Emma said as she walked over and kissed Lucinda on the cheek.
‘I could hardly have you come over and then shove a cardboard box with a pizza in your face.’
‘I only ever eat home cooked food if I’m at mum’s. I’d rather starve than eat anything Beatrice cooked. Where are the kids?’
‘They’re at the cinema with Lena. She gets her exam results tomorrow and has turned into a wreck.’
‘So, she’s still staying here?’
‘Not officially. Technically she has gone home but more often than not she’s here,’ Lucinda said as she switched on the kettle and busied herself with preparing the cous cous. ‘Well, what am I going to do? I could hardly kick out my own niece and tell her to go home.’
‘And Jessica was ok with that because to be honest, she’s not exactly singing your praises?’
‘That’s a bloody understatement. Considering that she’s telling everyone who will listen that I’ve been sleeping with her husband,’ Lucinda said no longer feeling the need to keep this part of her life secret. She was fed up with it all.
‘Is this a joke? Because if it is then I’m telling you now that it’s not a good one.’ Emma said.
‘No it’s not a joke.’
‘You didn’t did you?’
‘Of course not Ems. What do you take me for?’
‘So why is she saying that you did? Something must have happened. I mean it’s not the kind of thing that you make up. Especially about your own sister. I mean how much would you have to hate someone to…’
‘Emma, I’m going to tell you the same thing that I told mum. Nothing happened between that fool of a man and me. Nothing. Jessica made a mistake. It’s as simple as that. Ok?’
‘Well, I have to ask,’ Emma said as she picked up a fork and pierced a piece of lamb. ‘So you didn’t sleep with him?’
‘Emma! No I did not.’
‘Fine. There’s enough going on with this family without us turning into an episode of Eastenders.’
‘Are you sure that you haven’t got anything else to say?’ Lucinda said surprised by Emma’s reaction. She’d thought it would have been more screaming accusations and at that moment she didn’t have the strength to defend herself anymore.
‘Nope not a word,’ Emma said as she took another piece of lamb.
‘Thank you,’ Lucinda said as she slapped Emma’s hand away and placed the top back on the tagine. ‘Leave it alone.’
‘I can’t help it. It’s so good. I can’t believe you can cook like this.’
‘What can I say? I have lots of time on my hands. Actually, that’s something I want to talk to you about. I know it’s not your…’ The sound of the door bell interrupted Lucinda.
‘Can I borrow your laptop quickly? I just want to check something. Is that ok?’
‘Yeah it’s fine. Anything to stop you picking at the tagine. The password is Asteria97,’ Lucinda shouted out as she left the kitchen and went to the front door.
‘Bloody Greek mythology,’ Emma muttered under her breath. She blamed their mother for Jessica and Lucinda’s obsessions with Greek mythology as she typed in the password. She was surprised that their mother hadn’t named them all after Greek goddesses. The home screen disappeared and immediately Emma was faced with Lucinda’s bank statement.
‘Oh crap.’ She knew she should have closed the screen down and respected her sister’s privacy but Emma was and had always been inquisitive. She raised her head as she heard the sound of two voices in the hallway and then the sound of steps. She clicked on the document folder, knowing that perhaps she was going too far but she wanted to know what her sister was hiding. She opened a letter from Lucinda’s old accountant in New York and read it.
‘Oh Lou,’ Emma said again. ‘How can you have no money?’ She quickly closed the folders and logged on remotely to her work computer as she heard footsteps walking down the wooden floor of the hallway. Emma could feel the shame of knowing she’d invaded her sister’s privacy but also the satisfaction that came with knowing you’d just been proven right.
‘Ems, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine,’ Lucinda said. ‘This is Owen. Owen this is my little sister, Emma.’
‘Little? Just
sister
will do,’ Emma replied as she stood up and shook Owen’s hand.
‘Even if Lou hadn’t said anything I would have known you were sisters. You’ve got the same eyes. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘You have? Well, Lou has been keeping secrets because she hasn’t mentioned you at all,’ Emma said.
‘Well, she can tell you all about me in the two minutes that it’ll take for me to use the toilet,’ Owen said as he gently touched Lucinda’s waist and walked out.
‘How long has he been coming round? He didn’t even ask for directions to the loo.’
‘So, he’s been here before. That doesn’t mean anything.’
‘I saw the look that he gave you. Don’t tell me it doesn’t mean anything. Where did you find him?’
‘It’s a long story,’ Lucinda replied as she started to take plates out of the cupboard and place them into the oven to warm them up.
‘Well sis, I’ll tell you one thing. There’s no way that anyone could believe that you were doing anything with Andrew, not after seeing Owen. I’m surprised that you didn’t kick me out as soon as he walked in. I’d have dragged him upstairs by now. Then again, I wouldn’t have bothered. Right here on the kitchen table would do.’
‘Emma stop it,’ Lucinda said as she burst out laughing just as Owen walked through the door.
‘So, Owen, why don’t you tell me all about yourself?’ Emma said as she tapped the kitchen table loudly.
‘What do you want to know?’ Owen said as he pulled out the bar stool and sat down next to her.
‘Well firstly, do I need to buy a hat anytime soon?’ Emma said with a grin.
‘HOW COME Lulu is the only one that you taught to cook?’ Emma asked as she sat on her old bed and folded clothes which she couldn’t remember even buying and definitely didn’t have anywhere to put in her new home so she was disposing of them by placing them into the charity bag.
‘I didn’t teach her how to cook. The only one I taught was you,’ Felicia replied as she checked through the items on her list.
‘Mum, I wouldn’t call that teaching. You just told me to stand there and watch.’
‘And that’s exactly how my mother taught me. No, your dad’s mother was the one who really taught Lucinda when she used to go and stay for the weekend.’
‘Well, if Lulu’s comeback doesn’t work out then she should cook for a living because what she cooked last night was out of this world.’
‘She brought your father round some sweet potato pudding the other day. I haven’t made that for years and he ate every last bit. I didn’t think that she was paying any attention when she was sitting in the kitchen with that blasted Walkman in her ears scribbling in her notebook.’
‘So you’re sure that you want to do this today, mum? Because I can think of a hundred other things that I’d rather do on a Saturday morning instead of wandering around bloody Ikea. I always come out of that place with an injury. I don’t know why I just couldn’t order stuff online.’
‘Because if you did that my darling daughter I promise you that this time next year you’ll still be eating your dinner with the plastic cutlery that you took from Pret a Manger.’
‘Hmm, most likely. So where’s dad?’
‘Gone to the Oval with your uncle Stephen.’
‘He shouldn’t be out gallivanting with uncle Stephen, not when he’s doing chemo. Why didn’t you stop him?’
‘Me, stop your father? I’ve got more chance of stopping a runaway train. Anyway, it’s good that he’s out. Keep himself motivated. The worst thing he can do is to sit there and wallow. That’s more likely to kill him quicker than any cancer.’
* * * *
‘What’s wrong with you Emma LeSoeur?’ Felicia asked as she lowered the volume of the car radio. Her daughter who could usually talk at a 100 miles an hour was unusually subdued.
‘Aren’t you fed up with all of the secrets in this family?’ Emma replied as she stared out of the car window as they drove through Crystal Palace.
‘What are you talking about? We don’t have any secrets.’
‘Of course we do, mum. Jessica has hers…’
‘No she doesn’t.’
‘Mum, Jessica is an alcoholic. She’s tried to hide it for years and now look at her. In bloody rehab.’
‘What on earth are you talking about, rehab? Lena said she was going to a spa for a week.’
‘A spa? No mum. She’s not. As I said, keeping secrets…and as for Lou.’
‘Oh please Emma, I don’t want to hear any more about Lou.’
‘I’m not going to slag her off, I‘m just saying that I could never work out why she decided to come back. She hasn’t lived here for nearly twenty years.’
‘Seventeen years actually.’
‘Whatever, but haven’t you ever wondered what she was running from?’
‘What makes you think that she’s running from anything and even if she did why would it matter? The main thing is that she’s here and your niece and nephew are here and that can only be a good thing for your dad. Having all of you around.’
‘I know that’s a good thing but I’m just sick of all of the secrets. I mean didn’t you ever ask yourself why Lou was renting?’
‘You know why. She’s waiting for the tenants to move out.’
‘So, she could have bought another house. You and dad drilled it into us that the best investments are property but she sold her house in New York and came here.’
‘What do you mean she sold it?’ Felicia said as she tried to focus on the Ikea chimneys looming in the distance, approaching her as quickly as the truths that were coming from her daughter’s mouth.
‘She sold her house in New York and then she came here and rented. She didn’t buy another one, which I would have done, but she’s had to rent. Now why do you think that is? People only run away from two things, mum; bad relationships and debts.’
Felicia distractedly drove twice around the roundabout before another driver beeped her.
‘Your sister isn’t a woman who runs.’
‘Mum, open your eyes. Paul is bankrupt and Lou hasn’t done anything since the turn of the millennium except be a real housewife.’
‘You know, despite what he did, I always liked him. He was always generous and confident.’
‘He was a bullshitter.’
‘Emma, watch your mouth.’
‘Oh mum, you know that he was. For a woman who had three daughters who were literally global superstars and now has daughters who work with every A list to Z list celebrity you can shake a stick at, how can you be so rubbish at keeping up with gossip? And for someone who’s a lecturer I do question your ability to keep up with current events.’
‘Emma, I teach classics. I talk about dead people, events that changed the world, not what Lady Gaga wore on her latest album cover or the fact that someone saw Idris Elba walking down the road.’
‘He’s quite a nice guy actually,’ Emma said as she got out of the car and closed the door. ‘I hate this place,’ she said as she looked up at the familiar blue and yellow sign. ‘I saw her bank statement, mum.’
‘Whose bank statements?’
‘Lucinda’s,’ Emma said suitably shamefaced.
‘Emma, what is wrong with you?’
‘It was by accident.’
‘Accident my foot. If I was your sister I’d have pelted you so far out of the door that you wouldn’t even have seen daylight.’
‘She’s skint mum. Not so skint that she can’t feed the kids and she can obviously rent a house in Notting Hill but she’s skint. I told you people only run away from bad relationships and debts and Lucinda’s running away from both.’
‘HAVEN’T ANY of you lot heard of a recession?’ Lucinda asked as she pushed aside a pile of dirty napkins on the bar that was still sticky with beer.
‘And you haven’t heard that the time of austerity is behind us.’ Pete replied as he stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth. ‘Lou don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you want to play in my club but Dougie Mills jazz club isn’t a charity mate.’
‘I know that. But it’s just a silly amount of money that you’re asking for, Pete. I mean it’s not as if you won’t make any money from the ticket sales.’
‘When’s the last time you sold out a concert on your own, Lou? I can’t take the risk.’
‘But you know me. I can sell out a show.’
‘Yeah, with your sisters you could. Now if you were talking about us hosting a Euterpe comeback show then you would have something to negotiate with but you on your own, sweetheart I can’t do it. Anyway, it’s not just my club anymore. I’ve got partners now and they ain’t as sympathetic as me.’
‘I’m not asking for sympathy. I’m asking for a deal.’
‘I can’t give you a deal, Lou,’ Pete said sympathetically. ‘The problem is that the majority of people who come into the club won’t have a clue who you are unless they happen to be driving home at three in the morning and Magic FM is playing.’
Lucinda felt sick as she walked out of the club on Wardour Street. She thought that after spending all of Friday and most of this morning calling venues trying to find anyone who would be prepared to give her a deal, that showing up in person might change their minds but it hadn’t worked. When Euterpe had started out that had been Sal’s job. Organising venues, making deals with club managers and hiring musicians. It was only now that she truly recognised how many bridges that she had burned, personally and professionally. She leaned her head against the wall, took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to spring from her eyes. She hated the feeling that she was begging but she didn’t want to think about the worst case scenario. Even she could see that she had been an idiot for trying to keep up the lifestyle that she’d become accustomed to and also not to appear as a failure in front of her parents. All she needed was just one opportunity to get herself back into the public eye.
‘You’ve got to spend money to make money, Lou,’ Owen said as he broke eggs into a bowl and then pulled a handful of fresh chives from the pot on the windowsill.
‘Only people with money say that,’ Lucinda said as she picked up a bag of coffee beans and started to make coffee. ‘You couldn’t just have a normal coffee machine could you?’ she said, as she fiddled about with the buttons on the large silver machine