Authors: Nadine Matheson
‘Isn’t it a bit weird eating in your own restaurant? Aren’t you tempted to run downstairs and check that everything is ok?’
‘Not really. Even though this is the first time I’ve done it. I’m trying not to be so much of a control freak but I also wanted to show you that I wasn’t a complete loon who runs up and down screaming at women in the street. I’m sorry about that.’
‘You don’t have to apologise again. I completely understand why. It couldn’t have been easy for your sister.’
Owen took a deep breath as though he was trying to get rid of the memories of the past.
‘You really have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and when it’s your own family it’s even worse. There are four of us all together. I’ve got another brother, Ethan. He’s only eighteen, and he’s visiting Geraint in San Francisco right now, supposedly as part of his gap year, which is crap because Geraint is going to spoil him rotten for the next few months before he packs him off. But Maddie is the only girl and we’ve always looked after her but when that…shitbag of a husband of her started to…well, she just cut off. Always making excuses as to why we couldn’t come round to the house. Funny thing is she wasn’t protecting him, she was protecting us. She told us that if we knew then it was more likely that she’d be visiting us in prison and having to look after a paraplegic at home. Still that didn’t stop Geraint from jumping on the first plane to London and showing that arsehole how it felt to be a punching bag.’
Lucinda sat back and watched Owen closely. She wasn’t expecting him to be so open but he was and that made a refreshing change from what she was used to. She didn’t feel as though she had to put on an act with him.
‘Sorry, this was supposed to be an apology dinner not a listen to how screwed up my family is.’
‘You’re family isn’t screwed up. At least you talk to your brothers and sisters.’
Halfway through her main course of lobster ravioli Lucinda decided to open up to a man who had been no more than a stranger shouting at her in the street a few months ago. For all she knew Owen would be selling his story to the newspapers for his 12 pieces of silver before she’d stabbed a fork into her dessert.
‘You’re not close?’ Owen said as he refilled Lucinda’s wine glass.
‘Not how we used to be. Beatrice and I are close and I’m just Em’s big sister. But Jessica and I…well, she’s going through a bit of tough time but we’re not close at all. She pretty much hates me.’
‘Because you left.’
‘Amongst other things. Everything isn’t always how it appears to be.’
‘So why are you back? Must have been a good life in New York.’
Lucinda thought about telling the well rehearsed lie but she found that she didn’t have the energy for it. She was sitting having a dinner with a man who didn’t want anything from her. He didn’t seem in the least bit interested in who she used to be and was quite content with the woman she was. So she did something that she hadn’t done since she’d returned back to London. She spoke the truth.
‘I’m broke.’
Owen put down his fork and sat up a little bit straighter. ‘You’re what?’
‘Not broke, broke. I mean I could pay for my dinner but I’m just not as…put it this way, I wasn’t as smart as I should have been. I got complacent and thought that someone else would keep me, which is really annoying when I sit here and think about it.’
‘We all make mistakes. Why do you think that I had to go cap in hand and ask my brother for the money? My divorce practically cleaned me out.’
‘You’re divorced.’
‘Five years now. Big mistake that was. I did the most stupid thing and married someone out of guilt. She was pregnant and I thought I should be a man, be responsible. Turns out that the baby wasn’t even mine.’
‘Wow…that’s just…I don’t even know what to say.’
‘I know. If I hadn’t overheard her talking to him on the phone I’d never have known. They worked together. He was her boss. Such a bloody cliché. Everyone thought that I was the bastard though, for leaving her, but the truth always has a way of coming out.’
‘Well, I stopped being responsible. At some point I even stopped being myself. The old me would never have got herself into such a stupid mess. Always make sure that you have your
“vex money”
that’s what my gran always says.’
‘Vex money?’
Lucinda began to laugh.
‘It basically means that if someone is taking you out and then it doesn’t go well and your vexed with them, then you always make sure you have some spare cash so you can get home. There you have it. Vex money.’
‘Oh, I see. “Full of vexation come I, with complaint” I like it.’
‘
A Midsummer’s night dream
. You’re full of surprises,’ Lucinda said amused.
‘Can’t help it. I did an English degree. I even thought about acting for all of five minutes until I was lured away by a crème brûlée. So do you have your vex money?’
‘No need, I can walk home and anyway, you haven’t vexed me yet,’ Lucinda said as she felt Owen’s leg brush against hers.
‘YOU LOOK like shit Jess,’ Wendy said as she pulled up a chair towards Jessica’s open window and lit a cigarette in complete disregard to the health and safety regulations. ‘Maybe you should take a little break or at least get some collagen. There’s that place on Windmill Street who can do it for you in 30 minutes.’
‘Unlike you, I don’t want to look permanently surprised,’ Jessica replied as she turned on her computer and poured herself a glass of water, dropping in an Alka-Seltzer.
‘It’s a lot better than looking as though you’ve spent the night with Islington Green’s finest.’
Jessica pulled out the small mirror that she kept in her top drawer and took a look at the reflection she’d been avoiding for the past few weeks. Her skin looked awful and it felt rough. Despite the whitening drops she’d used her eyes were still bloodshot and puffy. She’d been sleeping but it had been a drunk sleep and meant that she’d awoken at 5am with the taste of wine still in her mouth.
‘Are you depressed?’ Wendy said as she pulled on her cigarette.
‘No, I’m not bloody depressed.’
‘Then in that case you’re going to have to pull yourself together. This isn’t like you. I’ve never seen you like you this, all despondent, angry and perpetually hungover.’
‘I’m not hungover. I’m just not feeling great and I didn’t sleep well.’
‘You’re forgetting that I’m one of your closest friends and I know you. You don’t fool me, Jessica LeSoeur.’
‘Wendy, I doubt that you’d be skipping along the rooftops if your bastard of a husband was trying to strip you of everything.’
‘Firstly, I’m gay, secondly Karen wouldn’t dare and thirdly I told you to get a pre-nup.’
‘Don’t Wendy. I keep asking myself why I didn’t get a pre-nup. I was so stupid.’ Jessica turned towards the glass door and looked out towards the rest of the office. There were only a few people milling about as the majority of them had already made their way to the conference room for the staff meeting, but it was everything she had. Phoenix PR Agency was hers. She had built it from the ashes of Euterpe and she’d made a success of it despite her initial hesitations.
‘Are you two coming or do you want me to chair this meeting all by myself?’ Christopher said as he poked his head through the open door.
‘Just give us a minute,’ Wendy said as she picked up the red makeup bag from Jessica’s desk and began to take out foundation, concealer and mascara. ‘Actually make it fifteen.’
‘You’re such a bitch,’ Jessica replied with a hint of a smile.
‘Of course I am, sweetie. Now go and wash your face and let’s see if I can sort you out. I didn’t spend all those years at the Selfridges makeup counter for nothing.’
Emma deleted the text messages one by one whilst she waited. She’d tried to delete them without having to read them but the last one refused to co-operate:
It would be lovely to meet up again. For old time’s sake. What about tonight?
She hated that he said “for old time’s sake” as though the last time they’d met had been a joyful occasion. The last time she’d seen him had been through a haze of burning tears and a violent wind that at times felt as though it was going to pick her up and throw her across the embankment along with the last shred of dignity that she tried to hold onto. Emma scrolled through the list of contacts, found his name and deleted him. She should have done it last year after he’d ignored every one of her phone calls and texts whilst she sat in her bedroom suffering from cramps which served no more than a painful reminder of the child that was no longer there. Emma put her phone away and tried to pay attention to the conversation that was taking place around her. She didn’t do nerves. It seemed to be a family trait but she knew this meeting was about her and not about the rumours that’d been circulating ever since Jessica’s marriage woes had made the headlines.
‘Jam donut or almond croissant?’ Meghan said as she placed her breakfast selection in front of Emma and took a seat next to her.
‘Couldn’t you find anything healthier?’
‘How about an apple turnover? That will count as one of your five a day. So go on then, tell me, what’s going on?’ Emma tore a piece of the croissant and placed it in her mouth to stop herself from answering. She knew that she was being given this promotion purely on merit, however she wasn’t sure how the other members of staff would see that considering more than half of them had joined the agency years before her and were more than capable of managing the department. Emma suddenly felt self-conscious about the dress and shoes that she was wearing. She’d chosen her outfit carefully that morning and thought of her outfit more like a suit of armour than a DKNY dress. All heads turned and conversations stopped as soon as Jessica, Wendy and Christopher walked into the room. Only Emma noticed that her sister was wearing a little bit more makeup than usual, but she still looked tired and as though she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
‘Morning everyone,’ Christopher said as he sat at the table on Jessica’s right whilst Wendy busied herself with making a cup of coffee for herself and an even stronger one for Jessica. ‘I know this isn’t our usual monthly meeting but I thought it’d be better for everyone to hear the news directly from us instead of the usual round-robin email.’
Jessica scanned the room. Usually she relished having the staff’s full attention but today, despite Christopher being the one doing the talking, she knew all eyes were on her. She gently touched his arm and gave him a look that he recognised far too well. ‘I’ll hand things over to the boss.’
‘Thank you,’ Jessica said. She cleared her throat and began, her voice firm.
‘So, for the first time in years I’ve managed to make it into the papers, which I will openly admit hasn’t been much fun but I’d like to thank all of you for the hard work you’ve put in over the last few weeks. I know that on top of everything else we’ve had to deal with, it hasn’t been easy.’ Whilst Jessica spoke, Emma had a flashback that it was similar to the speech that Jessica had given to the crying fans outside their publicist’s office once the news had broken of Lucinda’s departure.
‘She’s making us all redundant, isn’t she?’ Meghan whispered to Emma just before she stuffed the rest of the jam donut into her mouth.
‘Shut up,’ Emma whispered.
‘Now, I don’t plan on keeping you all here any longer than necessary so I’ll get straight to the point. We’ve been lucky to have had a very successful first quarter. That shouldn’t be too much as a surprise as you’ve all been incredibly busy. That has meant that we’ve had to make some changes. We have plans to expand the agency further, which will obviously take time, but to get things moving we’ve decided to make some changes to management.’
Everyone’s shoulders visibly dropped with relief as they all realised that no one was being issued with their P45 and a cheque.
‘Emma has agreed to accept the position of Head of the Celebrity and Personal PR division effective immediately.’ Jessica said it so quickly that Emma didn’t even get a chance to prepare herself for the stunned silence that followed or for the glare that came from Angelique and Milo sitting directly opposite her as they quickly realised that Emma was now their direct boss. Emma sat up a little bit straighter and smiled as she saw Angelique turn her head and whisper something into Milo’s ear.
‘I’ll be sending an email outlining the changes in more detail but rest assured that there will be no change to what you do, just changes in who you report to. Angelique, Milo, Gary and Megan could you please stay here as I’m sure Emma will want to have a few words with you. Everyone else, thank you.’
Emma watched the room empty out until she was left behind with her staff. Emma almost laughed out loud. She had completely neglected to consider the notion that she would be in charge of staff. Emma glanced at her friend Meghan who was grinning like a Cheshire cat and gave her an encouraging nod.
‘I wasn’t aware that they were recruiting for a new head of a department,’ Angelique said before Emma had a chance to even open her mouth. ‘I thought that they’d have recruited externally or at least hold an open competition. I’m sure that there are some rules about this.’
‘Oh shut up, Angela,’ Meghan said, knowing that calling her by her actual given name would annoy her even more. ‘Congratulations Emma. I think that it’s an excellent choice.’
‘Me too,’ Gary said. ‘So boss, tell us what’s new?’
‘So it was a date,’ said Harrie.
‘No, it wasn’t a date. Bloody hell, you’re worse than the kids.’
‘Hold on a second, unless things have changed since I last had a date, I’m sure that when a man buys you dinner, walks you home and then kisses you on the doorstep, that counts as a date.’
‘It wasn’t that sort of kiss.’
‘Was there tongue?’
‘For God’s sake, Harrie,’ Lucinda said as she switched the phone to her other ear and started to take sweet potatoes out of the fridge.
‘You didn’t answer my question. Was there…’
‘Yes there was, ok?’