The Sinner's Bargain (Contracts & Deceptions #2) (21 page)

“I know.”

“And you know what Philip wants me to do?”

Anna screwed her eyes shut, tears seeping out of her own eyes. “I do. I’m so sorry, but it’s the only way.”

“I guess it is,” Amara whispered.

“I need you to listen to me,” her mother said in a rushed whisper as she wiped her tears away. “A long time ago, my father did something very, very wrong. He added your name to something with a lot of value, and apparently the wrong people found out about it. We’ve been getting strange phone calls, sometimes asking questions about you. Sometimes it’s different universities, sometimes it’s a student union, but it’s fake. Every time I track the calls, they go to unknown numbers, not schools.”

“What…I don’t get it.”

“Amara, this is important. Philip is taking you to Méchant because that’s the only place to keep you safe. He can keep you safe from whoever it is that is looking for you. You can’t disobey him, because you can fall into the wrong hands if you do.”

“But it’s a whore house,” Amara whispered, wide-eyed.

“He won’t use you as a whore. Maybe a spy or something, I don’t know, but you won’t be used that way.”

“He told you that?”

Anna shook her head solemnly. “You’re my daughter. I would hope he wouldn’t do that to you.”

“And if he did?”

Her mother’s shoulders shook with grief as she walked to Amara and wrapped her arms around her. “I pray that he won’t and that this will all be over soon. Just please, Amara, please do as you’re told. Don’t talk to any suspicious men, and if anyone tries to contact you, tell Philip right away. And whatever you do, do not talk about any of this, not even with me, over the phone.”

Amara swallowed her tears and nodded against her mother’s shoulder. “Okay. I guess I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. I just… I wish there was another way. I have to leave Colin.” She sniffed, unable to continue.

“Don’t talk about Colin. The less people you talk about, the better.”

“I’m supposed to suddenly become a recluse?”

“It’s temporary, love. It’ll be over soon. I trust that Philip will do this fast. My father is a dangerous man, Mara, and the moment he sets out to destroy somebody, he achieves it. We need to be cautious.”

“Does Dad know? Is that why he was so quick to give me up to them?”

Anna held Amara at arm’s length and gave her a confused look. “I don’t think he knows the extent of what’s involved.”

“So he didn’t hand me over to keep me safe?” Amara asked in a broken whisper.

Her mother paused, looking at her with tears in her eyes. “Oh, khorshid, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s become of your father.”

Amara saw the pain her mother carried for all that it was. She knew she would never begin to understand the life she’d lived, and on the same breath knew she would do anything she could to make what she had left of her life now more bearable.

Her mother’s words snapped her back to the present. Amara shook her head

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“What they’re trying to take from you, from us… I think if anyone can get into that safe, wipe it clean, and start a great life for herself after all of this mess, it’s you, Amara.”

“What?” Amara asked, her voice full of confusion. She must have completely zoned out.

“Focus, Amara, I don’t have much time. You need to get to that safe before they do. Once you do, you’ll be able to clear everything out and leave my father with nothing, then the men will have nothing when they go search.” Anna’s words, filled with a conviction Amara could only hope to feel, surprised her.

“But I can’t, Mama. I don’t know the first thing about it other than the fact that Samuel forged my signature on a document! I still can’t believe he did that,” she said under her breath.

“I know.”

“Wouldn’t that mean the sultan asked him to do it? Aren’t you a little concerned that maybe Philip and Samuel’s loyalties are to the wrong people?”

“Of course I am. That only makes this harder, knowing that I won’t be here to protect you from all of that. You need to get the things in that safe, Amara and keep them for yourself. Give Philip his papers, and be done with it.”

“But I don’t want whatever is in there! It’s tarnished. It’s that… man’s! That terrorist!”

“It was also my mother’s and mine. There are family heirlooms and gold and money and of course those bloody papers, but everything else, Amara, please take it.”

“There’s a keyword and everything. I don’t know what it is.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

“How would I figure it out?” her voice was a childish whine. She couldn’t do any of this without her mom. She didn’t want to.

“Because I’ll make that easy for you.”

“Tell me what it is,” Amara said, her voice becoming desperate.

Anna shook her head. “The men that are after you, they have the power to break you, and if you tell them any of this… they’ll take it all, and then you’ll be left with nothing. I can’t leave my only child with nothing. I hope you understand that. I wanted Samuel to find the person behind all of this before they found you, but they’ve been doing a terrible job of tracking, which means this person is good—really good. You need to be more careful than ever.”

“You know it but can’t tell me?”

“I can’t. There are ears everywhere,” Anna whispered.

Amara’s tears were of frustration and anguish as she looked around the humble hospital room. “I hate this so much,” she said brokenly as her mother pulled Amara back onto her chest and placed a kiss on her head.

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry this couldn’t be done in time for you to see it. I’m sorry you didn’t get revenge on your father or…” Amara whispered into her mother’s hospital gown.

“Please don’t say that. I’m the one who’s sorry. Look at the kind of life I brought you into.”

Amara leaned on her elbow to look into her mother’s eyes. “You gave me a wonderful life, Mama. You have never let me down, ever. This has been less than ideal, but for you, I would do it over again a hundred times. You’ve given up more things for me than I can count: school, teaching, visits to see your own mother, you gave Uncle Vlady an amazing life, and you were there for me even when I didn’t think I wanted you to be. You never gave up on me. You always believed in me. You still believe in me—I mean, you think I can do the impossible!”

“You’re the smartest young woman I know, Amara. And all those things you think I gave up, I didn’t give them up. I just replaced them with something that was far more important—much too invaluable to me—and that has always been you. You’ll see when you have your own kids one day.” She paused to dry her eyes and sniffle back the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. “When you have a child, you learn what love really is, and that all those sacrifices you make for them aren’t sacrifices at all—they’re blessings in disguise. You were always enough for me. Your father was always enough for me. Our life was enough for me. And the house, the cars, the extras—I would have given all of it up to keep you out of danger and your father from his… afflictions.”

“Yet you want me to have all these extra things that I really don’t need,” Amara argued quietly.

“Please promise me that you’ll try. That you’ll at least take the heirlooms and some money, and the goddamn papers out of that safe. Please, Amara. For your future, your children, and your life.”

What was one last promise? In that moment, Amara would have given her mother anything she would have asked for.

“I promise,” she whispered, and her mother squeezed her hand. There was a knock on the door shortly after, and Anna’s brother, Vlady, walked in looking like he hadn’t slept in days. He was a short man—short and thin—but every time Amara saw him lately, he looked ill. His too-short, brown shirt hung loosely from his shoulders, and his cream pants looked like they were borrowed.

“I got here as fast as I could,” he said, strolling toward the bed.

“You’re fine,” Anna said. “I was waiting for you.”

“Please don’t say that,” Vlady said in a choked sob.

Amara looked between them for a moment. “I’m going to get coffee. You want, Uncle V?” When he shook his head to decline, Amara walked out toward the visitor’s area. Her father was in the hallway, headed toward her mother’s room. He looked terrible, his face bruised and swollen. His clothes were in disarray, and Amara wondered if it had been Colin’s doing or if her uncle Vlady had gotten to him as well. She didn’t want him there. She didn’t want to look at him or acknowledge him. The only thing she wanted to do was spit in his face, just as he’d done to her earlier. Old wounds surfaced as she looked at him, and she felt nothing but disgust. Amara thought of her mother—of her words and the condition she was in—and took a breath, closing the distance to her father. Colin stood from where he’d been seated along the wall, his large frame looking like an arch angel as he walked toward her.

“If you want to see her,” Amara said quietly to her father, “… you can. I’ll tell Vlady not to cause trouble.” She noticed the deflated breath he took, and the way his shoulders shook as he covered his face with his hands. For a moment, she wanted to reach out to him—to console the man who’d once comforted her. But the moment was fleeting. The bad memories replaced the good ones a long time ago.

She stood off to the side, thankful Colin had made his way to her by the time her father brushed past her and went down the hall to see her mother.

“How’s she doing?” Colin asked, escorting her to the waiting area. He sat down and pulled her to his lap, cradling her like a child.

“Not good,” she whispered as she blinked back tears. “I just… I mean, I’ve had so much time to prepare, you know?” Her voice broke.

“But it’s still hard,” Colin offered, stroking her hair and pulling her face to his neck. “I wish I could help.”

“You help too much,” she said, shaking her head against him. Colin chuckled lightly.

“Only when I can and when I want to.” He lifted his head so that she could look at him. “Always when it comes to you.”

Amara felt his words, but was too defeated to react to them, so she looked away. “She’s my constant. She’s the only person who’s never judged me.”

“What am I?” he asked, the tips of his fingers smoothing the tears on her cheeks. “I’m always here. I won’t judge you. I’m sorry that I ever did.”

She pushed herself against him and nodded slowly. “I have to go back in.”

“I’ll be here,” he said, holding her face when she tried to look away. “I’ll be here,” he repeated and kissed the bridge of her nose.

Amara stood and walked back over to the room. Vlady knelt on the floor in front of the room, his head buried between his legs.

“I don’t know what we’ll do without her,” he cried into his lap. “What will we do?”

She had no answers to that, no words of consolation to offer. Amara was the one losing a mother, and as much as Vlady thought of Anna as his mother, she wasn’t. Amara stood there a moment longer, staring at the man who’d helped her when she decided she wanted to go to the city for school and convinced her parents to let her work for him. She bowed her head and prayed they would all find peace once this was over, and then she turned and opened the door. Amara was quiet as she walked in, not letting the door make a sound as it closed behind her. She stood beside it as her father openly wept as he clutched her mother’s arm. It was something she didn’t understand, and wouldn’t for years to come. How somebody can claim they love another unconditionally and then betray them later? But if Anna held a grudge, she didn’t show it. She seemed glad to have Amir there despite the wrong he’d done, and Amara wasn’t going to intervene—not today. She stayed silent and listened to him talk about their life together, the way they met when they were just kids, the tiny shack they lived in, how he would have done anything just to see her smile. Amara wanted to yell at him, but the smile on her mother’s face was just…so sweet.

Tears formed in Amara’s eyes as she watched that smile she’d probably never see again. That thought hurt the most.

“Amara, come,” her mother called. Despite her reservations, Amara walked to the bed and stood on the opposite side of her father. “You look so beautiful,” she said as she touched Amara’s dress.

“Thank you.”

“Were you in the same gala as your father?” she asked, her voice weak and rough. A part of Amara figured Anna knew the answer to the question, but she played along anyway.

“Yes,” she said, looking at her mother’s frail hand. She couldn’t bear to look at anything else.

“I’ve done things, horrible things,” Amir said, his voice gruff. “Neither of you have to forgive me. I’ve…” He shook his head, pressing it on the bed. “I’m so sorry.”

Anna patted him on the top of his head, stroking his silky black hair as she comforted him. Amara wasn’t inclined to forgive him just yet, if at all, so she stayed silent. Vlady walked in shortly after and gave them a distasteful look, which Amara knew was aimed at Amir. Vlady kept his mouth shut as he walked over to Amara and placed his arm over her shoulder.

“My family,” Anna said in a whisper. She kept fighting the oxygen mask on her face, trying to readjust it so that she could speak, though her voice was hoarse and worn down. “This is how everybody should go, surrounded by those who care about them most. I know you’re sad, but please, be happy, I will not suffer, and I’ll be with you in spirit.” Her hand squeezed Amara’s. “I will always be here. Always. I love you, Amir—love of my life—and I forgive you for everything. You gave me the one thing I value more than everything.” Anna raised her tear-stricken eyes to Amara. “You gave me light when you gave me our daughter. And Mara, my beautiful
khorshid
, you gave me life when I thought we were doomed. I will forever be grateful for you. For your laugh when you woke up, your cries in the middle of the night, the endless hours of cheerleading, the late night pickups at parties, the headaches over boys. You have never failed me, even when I yelled—even when I got so angry I couldn’t bear to talk to you—you never failed me, and I hope I never failed you.”