The Sinner's Bargain (Contracts & Deceptions #2) (16 page)

“If I leave New York, you would take me back to Paris?” she asked brokenly.

Sam looked away from her, focusing on the floor beneath his feet and nodded. “I know you’re trapped in this, but we need to get that guy and find out who he’s working for, what he knows… you’re very important to us, to this case.”

“You have a collection of women that look like me, Sam. Can’t you use them?”

“Don’t you think we’ve tried that? This isn’t something new, Amara, we’ve been trying to find this person for years, and now we’re so close…so close.”

“He’s killed women that look like me. Don’t you think he’ll do the same to me? How would he even know it’s me?”

“He needs to take you to whomever it is he works for. He’s not going to show up here and kill you.”

She took a deep rattled breath. “And you’re sure it’s only one guy?”

“We don’t know for certain, but we have an idea of who it could be.”

Amara covered her face. “This is crazy. This is seriously insane. I can’t go back to Paris, Sam, not with my mom like this. Was the guy at the auction the other night?”

“He was. There were two men there that we suspect and are following.”

“Two?” she asked, her breath catching in her throat. “I thought it was just one guy?”

Samuel got up and stood in front of her, looking down at her. “We thought so too, but I guess we may be wrong. As I said, we’re not certain. I’ll do my best to keep your near your mother, and I expect that, in exchange for that favor, you’re going to come to me with anything you see or hear. If you don’t, I won’t be able to promise you Colin’s safety.”

Amara gasped as Samuel strode out of the room. She got out of bed, calling his name, but Samuel didn’t stop. He’d slammed the front door by the time she got to the kitchen. Resigned to her fate, Amara gave in to hunger and was trying to open a jar of pasta sauce when she heard the front door open again. Grabbing the nearest knife to her, she stood by the edge of the counter, waiting, listening to the heavy footfalls bringing the intruder to her in long, confident strides. The knife began to wobble in Amara’s hand as her fear escalated. Colin’s face appeared in the doorway, stopping short when he saw the look on her face and the knife she held in her white-knuckled grip.

“What the hell are you doing?”

With shaky hands, Amara tried to put the knife back in the block, but kept missing the slot it belonged in. Between the tears that pooled her eyes and her jittery nerves, she ended up having to put it down on the counter. Colin strode around the island and stood beside Amara, his hand rubbed lightly on her back. She kept her eyes on the counter, away from his.

“Hey,” he said in a voice that beckoned her attention. “What’s wrong?”

Leaning forward, she placed her elbows on the counter and buried her face in her hands. “What isn’t wrong?” she asked, a bitter chuckle escaping her lips.

His hand stilled on her back. “What were you going to do with that knife?” When she didn’t answer, he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. “Amara,” he said, lifting her chin. “What happened?”

“They keep coming in here!” she said, finally, wiping the tears that began to spill down her cheeks.

He frowned, waiting for her to continue, but she didn’t. Couldn’t. “Who keeps coming in here?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Colin’s jaw twitched. “Of course it matters! This is my place! I need to know who’s getting in here without your permission. Talk to me, dammit! Is it Philip?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but ended up closing it when she couldn’t find her words. When she didn’t reply, he brushed past her, strolling toward the bedroom. Amara followed him, watching his tall frame as he moved around the room, opening drawers and taking stuff out. He found her bag and started carelessly stuffing clothes in it.

“What are you doing?” she asked, frozen in place.

“Something I should have done a while ago.”

Amara stood silently, watching as he packed furiously, silently brooding, his hands punching her clothes into the bag, and she wondered if their time had come to an end. He was kicking her out. The more he packed, the smaller she began to feel. She was out of place, unwanted.

“Are you kicking me out?” she had to start the question over three times, clearing her throat, swallowing the lump that choked off her words, until it finally came out in a broken whisper.

Colin’s movements stilled and his head snapped to where she was standing between the door and the bed rooted in place. “You think I’m kicking you out? Do you really think I would…” He stopped short, his eyes confused and wild as he approached

Amara and held both of her shoulders. She tightened in his hold, unsure of what to expect. “Maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong, Amara. Maybe going after you and keeping you beside me… keeping you here… maybe my anger has gotten the best of me lately, but I fucking love you, dammit! I would never kick you out!” His words were a shout, and he was looking at Amara like she was crazy for not understanding that.

He took her breath away and she was unable to react properly. She should have opened her mouth to tell him she loved him too, more than he would ever know. That this time together yet so far apart had helped her understand that completely. That being engaged to another woman was killing her slowly—but Amara could only stare. Her uncertainty got the better of her. Her paranoia lurked around like unwanted gossip.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” she grumbled, shaking her head with a dry laugh. “I can’t remember the last time my life made any sense.”

He stopped clutching the bag and closed his eyes for a moment, collecting himself, before taking long strides toward her. “Probably this time last year, when it was only me and you. Do you remember what it’s like to have someone put you before everything else? Do you remember what it feels like not to lie about everything? Look at you, Amara! You’re so scared you’re shaking, and to be frank, you’re starting to freak me out.”

He waited for her to say something, but the only thing Amara could think about was her conversation with Ava and how Colin always seemed to be everywhere. When she finally spoke, it was slow and cautious, with her head bowed as if she was ashamed to be asking such a thing. The real reason Amara couldn’t look at him, she realized, was because she was afraid of what the answer would be.

“How did you know I would be at the auction?”

“You told Brandon you couldn’t make it to the housewarming party because you were busy, and I checked the Méchant events, saw the auction, and figured I would go over there.” His answer made her exhale, just for a moment.

“How did you really know it was me? And I would appreciate it if you didn’t give me the bullshit answer about my eyes, because I know you couldn’t see them from where you were standing. I could barely make you out.”

Once the words were out there, she tilted her head up to look at him. Colin inhaled and exhaled loudly as he considered his next words to her. She could tell he was waging a hell of a battle inside that brain of his.

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me.”

“Okay,” he said, looking away as he clenched his jaw. “When I got there, I saw Samuel and demanded he tell me which girl you would be, or I would put a stop to the whole auction. Obviously it went on so that didn’t work. Sam said he was waiting for somebody really important and that I should just leave and wait for you to call me.” Colin chuckled with a shrug. “When they got to you, I just knew. Call it intuition, I don’t know! All I know, Mara, is that I
see
you when I look at you. I
feel
you when you’re in a room. And that’s the truth. Now are you done wrongly accusing me of something I have no idea about? Or are we going to continue playing this stupid fucking game we’ve been playing? Because I can tell you right now who wins, and it’s not you, and it’s not me. It will be
them
because we’re letting it happen.”

Amara could only stare at him. She had nothing to say, couldn’t really form a coherent sentence when he looked at her like that. He looked at her. Through her. Inside her. It laid her bare and tore her apart at the same time.

“I just. I’m sorry, I just… For a moment I thought maybe you were him.”

“Who?”

“The guy looking for me,” she said in a whisper, bringing her eyes up to his.

“The one blackmailing you?”

“No.” She shook her head. “The guy looking for me is an entirely different person, but he’s the reason I’m still at Méchant.”

Colin took the steps needed to get to her and reached out to cup her face. Amara’s breath hitched at the sudden contact. Though his hands were gentle, the way he held her face made it impossible to look away. The words that tumbled out of his mouth seemed to surprise the two of them equally, judging by the way his brown eyes widened slightly as he spoke them.

“Let me help you,” he said, his voice soft, almost as if he was cajoling a child. “I want to help you, but I’m going to need you to trust me,” he said.

“Why would you want to help me when you’ve been so angry about all of this?” she asked in a shaky whisper.

Colin closed his eyes as he breathed out. When they opened again they were stricken with a tinge of sadness. “Oh, Mara,” he whispered, his breath fanning her face as he spoke. “Didn’t you graduate at the top of your class? For someone so book smart, you are very love stupid.”

The word love made her heart swell. She could have wondered if that was his intention, but the truth was written all over his face.

“I need you to trust me,” he repeated, cupping her face, still looking at her with an intensity that could burn through steel.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I’m going to give you my trust, Amara. My complete trust, or as close as I can get to that, and I’m asking you to do the same. Whatever this is, you don’t have to do it alone. I know you’re scared—it isn’t like you to do any of this—I know you’re stuck and, for whatever reason, money isn’t getting you out of it, so please, let me fucking help you.”

She closed her eyes and saw the memories of her life with him playing in her mind like an old movie. Them in the empty lot with the stars, in the coffee shops near school, at her uncle’s café, family barbeques, times spent in their rooms talking about nothing and everything at the same time, their late night calls, the laughs they shared, the fights, the make-up sex, the dancing, the kisses and hugs and all of the tomorrows that were once promises—all faded away so much sooner than should have been possible. Amara took a deep breath and opened her eyes to see the man she realized would do more for her than she’d ever given him credit for, and nodded.

“Okay.”

One simple word, but it seemed to breathe life back into Colin, and he smiled at her. “I’m going to take you somewhere we can talk about all of this. We’re going to leave our phones behind.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead and, as she watched him grab the bag, it felt like he was squeezing her own heart.

“What if they call me from the hospital?”

“We’ll go by the hospital first.”

“I—” she began.

“I’m going to help you, remember? No matter what.”

“You don’t even know what you’re asking to get involved in,” she said brokenly as a tear escaped from her eyes.

“Because I don’t care,” he said, brushing the tear away lightly with his thumb. “I know that it involves you, and whatever that is, it’s hurting you, and that’s all I need to know.”

“You can lose Wolfe, Colin. You can lose everything,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

“I don’t care anymore.” He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers, and she believed him.

“YOU CAN WAIT out here if you want,” Amara said when they reached her mom’s floor.

He looked at her for a long moment, his lips parting slightly as he debated the options. “Would it be okay if I go in with you?”

Growing up, Colin had always gotten along great with her mom. She’d baked him cookies and made him his favorite curry dishes. He’d loved being over at their house and her mom had loved having him there, so Amara knew she would enjoy seeing him, but still she hesitated.

“She doesn’t look the way you remember her.”

“So?” he asked with a frown.

“I’m just warning you,” she replied with a shrug and continued to walk toward the room, greeting the nurses along the way. She laughed when all of the nurses at the station turned to checked out Colin before looking at Amara with raised, approving eyebrows. He walked by her side, his hand hovering over the small of her back before finally landing there and sliding to her hip, pulling her close. Amara looked at him in question, but he didn’t acknowledge it, only continuing to walk beside her until they reached the door, where he dropped his hand.

Amara pushed the door open and took a steadying breath; preparing her heart for the shock it always was to see her mother in such terrible condition.

“Hey, Mom, I brought a guest with me,” she said as she walked further in, holding the door open for Colin.

“Of course, my
khorshid
. Who did you bring?” Anna asked, curious.

Amara dropped a kiss on her mom’s cheek as Colin walked toward them. Anna gasped loudly when she saw him.