The Silencer: A Bad Boy MMA Romance (17 page)

“You don’t have to say another word,” his hand lightly brushed the side of her face, sweeping away her tears.

“No, I want to tell you this. They smoked meth—a lot—and when I’d come home from school,” she paused to calm herself. “There were foily’s all over the house. I’d have to pick up all the dirty sheets of aluminum foil that were covered with burnt meth so I didn’t step on them. Or sometimes so I’d have a clean spot to eat my breakfast or dinner. I don’t want my babies to see anything like that.”

“You’re a superb mom! You know that Ashley? Despite what you came from, you’re an amazing woman and an excellent mother. I love you,” he planted a kiss on her forehead.

She sighed, “I just don’t know what to do. I want them to have a relationship with their grandparents, but at the same time, I need to protect them.”

Keith thought for a few moments. “You know what you could do?” he looked at Ashley. “The girls could still have somewhat of a relationship with them.” She looked at him as though alien-like probes had begun to grow out of his head. “Supervised visitation,” he simply stated.

“Supervised visitation? I don’t know about that. I don’t want them coming over here. That would be bad. I can picture my dad stealing stuff out of our backyard or breaking into our house when we’re not home.”

“No. Nothing like that. We could work something out with the courts. I’m sure the judge could appoint someone to supervise the visits. Or they have visitation centers where we can take the kids. Your parents come and staff members of the state oversee the visit through a two-way mirror,” he explained.

“You are the smartest man I know!” she kissed him as she cuddled up to him. “Seriously, thank you. I don’t know where the girls and I would be without you.”

The next morning, Ashley called her mom back but was unable to get through. Part of her was glad that her mom didn’t answer because although she found a solution to the problem, she didn’t know how her mom would respond to supervised visitation. The truth of the matter was that they shouldn’t have been allowed to raise her. If it weren’t for Ashley’s grandma, Evelyn, coming to her rescue as she grew up, she might have taken a different path in life. Her grandma would pick her up as often as she could and keep her for as long as possible. Ashley never understood how her dad came from that woman. Her grandma was religious and taught her about God and how to be a good person. It baffled her that her father didn’t turn out better than he did with such an excellent mom.

Brenda called her back later that afternoon when she finally got out of bed for the day.

“Ashley, did you call me earlier?” her mom coughed and hacked into the phone.

Pulling the phone away from her ear to keep from listening to her mom cough a lung up, she said, “Yeah, I tried calling you this morning. Are you all right?”

“Not really. I’ve been better. It’s been so hard to breathe and I can’t get rid of this cough. What’d you want hun?”

“I was calling you back about seeing the girls, and….” Her mom interrupted her.

“Oh! That’s,” she began coughing up the other lung, “great babe! I can’t wait to see them. Hold on while I get a drink,” she said, laying the phone on the table without waiting for Ashley to respond.

She patiently waited as she listened to her mom close a cabinet door and pick up the phone.

“Yeah, mom, but here’s the thing: I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say. Keith and I talked about it last night and we decided that we’ll let you see the kids—as long as it’s supervised.”

“Supervised? You mean I can’t even see my own grandbabies without someone watching me?” she sounded appalled.

“Mom, I hate talking about this, but the way you and Tim do drugs, you have to understand. There’s no way we’re letting the girls come to your house. Chloe and Brooke deserve better than seeing drugs or drug paraphernalia lying around the house.”

“They can’t even come over here?” her mom was beginning to sound angry.

“No, mom, they can’t. We thought that we’ll go through the courts and have supervised visitation ordered. We’re going to try to make it to where you can see them one weekend a month at the Division of Family Services visitation center.”

“Will your dad be able to come?” she asked, coughing into the phone again.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to discuss that with the courts.”

“When will this all start?” her mom asked, anxious to see the kids.

“I’ll call an attorney tomorrow. It’s probably too late now since it’s almost dinner time. I would’ve called one today, but I was waiting for you to call me back.”

She knew that her mom wasn’t happy about the supervised visits, but at least they’d get to see each other, and her kids would be safe. It was a win-win situation. Now all she had to do was find a lawyer to represent them in court and file the petition. It was a lengthy process, but the girls seemed excited.

The ordeal took about four months from start to finish. During the court proceedings, the judge ordered that both grandparents would be awarded supervised visitation once per month for twelve months. At the end of the twelve-month period, the supervised visitation would end and they would have to go back to court for a new supervised order. The supervised visits began later that month. Both girls were happy to see their grandparents and didn’t seem to mind having to go to the visitation center to see them. Much to their surprise, the visits went well with her mom and dad—for eight months.

On the eighth month, neither her mom nor dad showed up for their visit. Concerned, Ashley tried phoning them to see if something had happened or if they were just running late. There was no answer. They waited at the visitation center for an hour, and when they didn’t show for their visit, the family left. Disappointed, the girls asked about their grandma and grandpa. Ashley didn’t have an answer. When they were back home, she confided in Keith that it didn’t surprise her. She was lucky that they were around enough when she was growing up, and figured it was only a matter of time before they flaked out with the supervised visits. The following month, the same thing happened. Again, she tried calling her parents but received no answer. On the third month, it was a repeat of the previous months. It concerned her that she was unable to reach them, but knowing their drug use history, she figured they were on another meth binge and trying to avoid her. Eventually, the stopped showing up for the monthly visits to protect the girls from being disappointed.

“Maybe we’re lucky,” Keith suggested. “Maybe they realize it’s too much trouble to continue supervised visits and gave up.”

“Possibly,” Ashley agreed, “but it makes me wonder what they’re up to. It’s not like my mom to ignore my calls, especially for months on end. Do you think my dad killed her and he’s hiding it from everyone?”

Alarmed, Keith shot a glance in her direction. “Is that a serious question? Do you really think he’s capable of murder?”

Ashley shrugged her shoulders.

Chapter 3

A couple of years had passed before Brenda finally reached out to Ashley, asking for forgiveness for skipping out on their visits at the visitation center. She explained to Ashley that the reason they stopped coming to the center was because their drug use had gotten so out of hand that she nearly overdosed. They realized that they needed help and had checked themselves into a rehab center to get clean once and for all. For the last two years, they had been focusing on their sobriety and had turned over a new leaf.

Happy to hear that her parents had finally sought out help for their drug addiction, she agreed to meet them at the park later that weekend so they could all reconnect. Skeptical, Keith didn’t agree to go along with the visit but, after a bit of persuasion, Ashley finally talked him into it. When they arrived at the park, she was stunned to see that her mom and dad were already waiting for them as they sat at a picnic table. She noticed that there were two coolers on the table; they’d made snacks and brought drinks for everyone. This was not something her parents would’ve ever done before. They enjoyed their afternoon in the park and began to talk to each other more.

A few months later, Keith received a devastating call from the nursing home where his father was. He’d passed away overnight, in his sleep, at the age of 78. Preparing for the funeral was a difficult and challenging task. It had taken its toll on Keith emotionally and mentally. Feeling as though they needed a short break, Ashley asked her parents if it were possible for the girls to spend the night with them. They would stay the day before the funeral and keep them while the service was in session. Ecstatic, her parents eagerly agreed to keep the girls. When Ashley dropped the children off at her parent’s house, her mom boasted about an elaborate shopping trip that she planned to take the girls on the next afternoon. She thought it was wonderful how far her parents had come. Two and a half years ago, she would’ve never allowed them to go to their grandparent’s house, especially overnight, nor go on a shopping trip.

Ashley called her husband on her way home and told him how happy her mom was and how excited the girls were. Overwhelmed with too much grief and sadness, he didn’t respond as enthusiastically as she had hoped for, but she understood. That night, they spent the evening watching their favorite shows on Netflix as they cuddled on the couch. It was just what Keith needed; he seemed as though he was in a better place, even though the funeral was the next day.

The next morning before the funeral began, Brenda called Ashley to find out what size shoes the girls wore as their old sneakers’ tags were faded and she couldn’t read the sizes.

“Chloe wears a size 5 and Brooke’s probably about a size 3 by now. But, mom, you don’t have to buy them new shoes, we can afford it.”

“No, I insist. I’ve never really been able to buy them anything before so I want to do this for my grandbabies,” she contended. “Plus, I thought it would be nice to buy them a little sympathy gift. I know that you’d said how much they loved Keith’s dad.”

“Okay, what time are you bringing them home?” Ashley asked as she got ready for the funeral.

“Oh, I don’t know. I figured after shopping, we’d have lunch and then I’d bring them home. Maybe around three or so? Will you be home by then?”

“Yeah, we should be back by then. I hope.”

As they attended her father-in-law’s funeral service, Ashley thought of how nice it was to leave the girls with her parents. Aside from being occupied with the funeral, she wondered how things were panning out with the kids at her parent’s house. Chloe was usually pretty cooperative, but Brooke could have a mind of her own when she wanted to. She hoped the girls were minding their manners while they were there. Keith seemed to be relieved not to have to chase the girls around, and it allowed them to socialize with the other adults. The whole process had been a long and tiring one, but at least the girls were having fun shopping with their grandma. 

§

As Brenda began getting the girls ready for their shopping trip, Tim did nothing to offer any help. He laid on the couch, listening to his wife argue with the girls, explaining that they needed to get dressed. Chloe was already getting herself ready, excited to go on the trip, but Brooke was throwing a temper tantrum. Ashley had been in the process of potty training her, and sometimes she wouldn’t go when she needed to. She didn’t want to go potty before they left, insisting that she didn’t need to go.

“You have to go potty so you can wear your big girl pants when we go shopping,” her grandmother explained to her.

“But I want to wear my diaper!” Brooke yelled on the verge of tears.

“No, your mom said that they were only for bedtime. In case you have an accident. I know you’re going to go soon because your diaper is dry right now. Let’s try to sit on the potty,” she attempted to reason with her.

“No! I’m not going potty! I want my diapers!” Brooke continued shouting as she ran away from her.

Aggravated, she turned to her husband and said, “I’m not taking her if she won’t go potty. She’ll end up going in the middle of the store and I’m not dealing with it,” she professed.

“You’re not leaving her here with me while she’s acting like that,” his tone hostile as he became aggravated with the situation as well.

“Yes, I am. Come on, Chloe, grandma is ready to go,” she picked up her purse. “Brooke, you know you could’ve came if you would’ve just went potty and put on your big girl panties. I’ll see you later,” she said as she and Chloe left to go on their shopping trip.

When the door closed and the realization set in that she wasn’t going with her grandma and sister, she began balling and throwing herself onto the ground. After a few minutes, when she hadn’t calmed down, Tim yelled at her to shut up. This only made the tears worse as she cried harder and louder.

“Shut up, Brooke!” he screamed at her, standing over her.

“I want my gramma! I want my sissy!” she continued screaming and crying.

“Shut the fuck up!” he shouted at her.

She continued balling and began banging her head on the wall. “I want to go bye-bye!”

“I said shut the fuck up you fucking baby! Stop doing that!” he continued hollering at her.

Now scared, her crying continued as she sensed the rage that was becoming apparent and carried on with her temper tantrum.

Snapping, Tim snatched her up by the back of her shirt and began shaking her as he yelled at her, “Stop fucking crying! Just shut the fuck up!”

She began screaming louder as he terrified her.

“SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BRAT!” he yelled as loud as he could, hitting her with an open hand as he said each word that came out of his mouth.

She began screaming as though someone was murdering her. She wasn’t used to getting spankings. It set Tim off even more. His rage was out of control. He put her over his knee and began beating her bottom with his hand and a belt, over her diaper. Each blow stung, causing her to flail and cry out in pain. The more he hit her, the more she screamed. After beating her until he grew tired, he finally threw her into the backseat of his car and squealed the tires as he peeled away from the curb in front of his house.

§

Coming home from the funeral, Ashley and Keith were talking about how they were going to change their clothes as soon as they got home. The hot, humid St. Louis heat had made them profusely sweat as they said their final goodbyes at the graveside. Keith was beginning to loosen his tie as Ashley’s phone started to ring.

“Hello?” Ashley answered as she scrambled to pick up before the voicemail did.

“You might want to go get your fucking kid out of the garage! She’s out there crying,” he warned her.

“Oh my God! What?” Ashley’s voice heightened with fear as she looked at Keith. “What do you mean she’s in the garage?”

Ashley looked at Keith in horror.

“I brought her little ass home since she wouldn’t stop crying. She’s out in the garage!”

“But we’re not even home! Why would you leave her in the garage?” she yelled into the phone.

Sensing what was going on, but not knowing the full extent, Keith pressed down on the gas pedal as he sped home.

“I told you,” he hissed, “she wouldn’t stop crying. That fucking kid of yours is a brat. I’m not dealing with that bullshit!”

“Keith! We’ve got to get home! He left Brooke out in the garage!” she said to her husband. “Did you at least leave the garage door open?” she screamed at her dad, still on the phone, thinking about how hot it was outside. If he’d closed the garage door, she’d likely suffocate. If he left it open, she could wander out and get hurt or much worse.

The phone went silent as her dad hung up on her while she was telling her husband to get home.

“I can’t believe him, Keith! He hung up on me!” tears flooded her face as she began crying in the car, worried about her baby.

“For God’s sake, Ashley, she’s only two and a half! What is wrong with that man?” he said as he continued speeding down the highway. They were still at least 30 minutes away from home.

“I don’t know, but we can’t even call the Jenson’s next door because they’re out of town. Keith, we’ve got to get home faster. Run every light and stop sign. There’s no one who can help her!”

“How did he even get into the garage?” Keith wondered as they sped home.

“I’m telling you, he’s notorious for stuff like this,” she replied, still panicked and worried. “I’ve got to call my mom.”

She fervently called her mother and told her to bring Chloe home immediately.

“Why? We’re still out shopping,” Brenda explained.

“Because that asshole left my baby out in the garage. Mom! Do you have any idea how hot it is outside? We’re not even there. Keith’s driving as fast as he can to get to her right now!”

“Oh, Ashley, I’m so sorry. I feel terrible.”

“I can’t believe you left her with him!” she blamed her mother. “Why would you do that? You know that initially when we went to court, we only asked for you to have supervised visitation because we were afraid that if it weren't supervised, you’d let him around them—alone! This is all your fault!”

“Ashley, baby, I’m sorry. We’ll leave right now and I’ll bring her straight home.”

They made it back about twenty minutes later; the garage door was shut. Ashley prepared for the worst as Keith hit the button on the remote and opened the garage door. She closed her eyes, expecting to see her baby dead; covered in sweat from the heat. Her eyes remained shut until the car started moving again; she opened them. Brooke was curled up in the middle of the garage, face tear-streaked, fast asleep with her hair matted to her forehead with sweat.

Startled, Brooke awakened when she heard the car inch up into the garage and immediately started crying. She’d been so scared that she wet herself, expecting to see Tim again. As they were approaching her, Brenda’s car pulled into the driveway. He left Ashley with the baby as he walked over to his mother-in-law’s car to get Chloe. Ashley swept Brooke up off the dirty garage floor and began coddling her, telling her it was going to be all right as Keith unbuckled Chloe from her booster seat in Brenda’s car. Her mom got out of the car as they all clustered around Brooke, still visibly shaken and traumatized by the events that day.

“Let’s get her inside where it’s cool,” Ashley said, making her way towards the door to enter the house.

As they sat their things down, Brooke confided in her mom that she’d went potty in her diaper.

“It’s okay, honey, mommy will change you in a minute,” she said as she asked Keith to bring her the wipes and a pair of her training pants.

“I’m so sorry your dad did this,” her mom apologized for his behavior.