The Silencer: A Bad Boy MMA Romance (16 page)

After talking to the St. Louis Women’s Safe House, she felt as though they’d be able to help her. She could take both of her babies there and they offered plenty of assistance and resources to help her get back on her feet. Leaving Billy was going to be a trial, but she had to end the cycle. There was no way in hell she was going to let her babies grow up thinking it was all right to support a man and let him control her. She devised a plan to take the girls and escape the abuse from Billy though it hadn’t become physical yet. She knew it was only a matter of time. With the help of her friends from work, she secretly packed as much of her and the baby’s things without him knowing. A few days before she planned to leave, she tried talking him into going on a fishing trip with some of the guys from her work. They’d all gotten together and came up with a strategy to get him out of the house, using some of the guys from her work as bait.

“You should go, Billy. It’ll be fun, and I’m off work that day so I can keep the girls while you spend some time with the guys.”

“Who’s all going?” he asked as he played video games. This had become his favorite past time while she spent her time working and cleaning.

“Steve, Matt, and Jason are all going. I think they’re planning on leaving Thursday morning around 8 AM.”

“You know I don’t fish. Why would you come up with such a stupid idea that I should go?” he protested as he’d rather spend his time on the X-Box.

“Because you never get out of the house, and it would give me a day to myself with the girls. Please, Billy, will you go?”

“I’ll think about it,” he finally offered to get her off his back.

When she went back into work the next day, she told her co-workers that she didn’t think he was going to buy into her plan.

“You’ve got to get him out of that house,” Saundra insisted. “It’s the only way you’re going to get out of there.”

“I know, but he doesn’t like to fish.”

“What does he like to do?” her boss asked.

“Smoke weed, play video games. Anything that doesn’t involve physical activity.”

“Does he like to drink?”

“Oh yeah, he definitely likes to drink,” Ashley admitted.

“Tell him the guys are bringing a few cases of beer. Maybe that’ll do the trick. Hell, I’ll even pay for it. As much as I hate to lose you as an employee, I can’t wait to see you away from him.”

That night when she went home, she told Billy about the beer. It was her only hope to get him to go on the fishing trip.

“And we don’t have to pitch in?” he asked.

“No, the guys know how tight our bills are. They said they’d take care of it. All you have to do is show up.”

Thinking about it for a few minutes, Billy asked her, “Can I bring my weed?”

“They don’t smoke it, but I don’t think they would mind if you did, as long as it was away from them.”

“Hell yeah, free beer, getting stoned and hanging out with the guys! Will you pack me a cooler and run to the store to buy me some papers?”

She rolled her eyes but agreed. Ashley hated buying the papers for his weed, but she knew that if she didn’t run to the store for him, she’d pay for it later. Happily packing his cooler, she knew it would be the last thing she ever did anything for him. She was grateful the guys from work agreed to take him fishing. They hated him, but they were willing to help her out. That night, she could hardly sleep as she thought about finally getting out of there. Part of her was excited to leave, but she was scared of the unknown. She’d never known anyone who stayed in a Safe House for Women. Her friends told her that she’d need to be careful once she was there. Some of the other victims living there might steal some of their things for themselves.

When moving day came, Ashley and her friends frantically ran around the house, bustling to pack and move as much as possible. She rented a storage unit that morning, and they put most of her belongings into storage until she could find a new job and get a place of her own. By late afternoon, all of her and the baby’s things were out of the tiny shack that they shared with Billy. They arrived at the Safe House just after dinner. She didn’t know what to expect, but she noticed right away that the place was crowded. Women and children were spread around the front living area watching a big flat screen TV as they settled down for the night. Feeling awkward, she and the girls stayed with one of the volunteers as they showed her around the center. At the end of the evening, the three ended up sharing a small room which consisted of a bed and a crib.

Sharing the full-size bed with Chloe, space was cramped as the toddler rolled around through the night. Brooke slept peacefully in her crib. Ashley wished she could do the same, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Billy and what he said when he came home to a house that was practically deserted. The furniture, appliances and television were all still there, but the girls’ tiny room was completely bare; maybe a few stray toys scattered throughout the room, and her side of the closet was empty. Now their clothes were neatly folded inside a small white dresser that sat in between the tan crib and the bed she now shared with her toddler. A shelf above the chest supplied an area where she could store baby supplies such as diapers, wipes and baby lotion. She imagined how livid Billy probably was and was nervous that he would find them. That was impossible, though, as the shelter offered privacy. Something none of her friends could provide for her. Wrestling with her lumpy, lopsided pillow, she tried to find a position that was comfortable before she finally gave up and fell asleep.

The staff and volunteers at the Safe House were rather helpful in assisting her with the necessary resources to begin their new future. Ashley’s case manager, Terry Willis, quickly recognized that she could help some of the other women in the shelter. Since she did all of the budgeting when she lived with Billy, she could provide tutoring assistance for their financial literacy courses. Most of the women there were never trusted with money or a checkbook by their abusive partners. Ashley wanted to help empower the other women in any way she could and began teaching them how to budget and balance a check register. It offered her a sense of satisfaction to make a difference in these women’s lives.

Every Tuesday evening, the Safe House provided an hour-long session for financial literacy. Ashley spoke for the first 30 minutes of the meeting to go over the basics of how to record transactions in the ledger in the back of their checkbooks, and tips on budgeting. After she had finished speaking, a bank loan officer took over to volunteer his expertise for the remainder of the course. Keith Marshall taught the women the importance of having good credit and what their credit meant to them; and most significantly, how to use their credit. With Ashley and Keith teaming up, the women began to understand what it meant to finally live on their own two feet—financially.

Keith and Ashley had private conferences after each session to discuss what they would speak about or go over the following week. As they worked together, the two of them noticed that there was an electrical chemistry between them. Ashley picked up on the fact that any time he was around her, he stood taller with his back straight and chest pushed out. He also showed her that he was a real gentleman by holding doors open, pulling her chair out and accidentally brushed up against her a lot. She, on the other hand, often locked eye contact with him as she played with her hair and sat close to him.

Initially, they’re relationship was a bit awkward. He didn’t know if he was overstepping his boundaries by flirting with a woman in a Safe House for abused women, especially when he was in a position to help them. She thought it was a bit inappropriate to develop feelings for someone that the shelter highly regarded, but she could feel the connection. They shared many of the same interests and hobbies, and he offered her a sense of security. Over six feet tall, and weighing more than 200 pounds, she felt that he could protect her. It was something she desperately wanted; to feel safe, loved and secure. Keith could offer her those things. And with Ashley barely over five feet tall and an average frame, suffering from years of abuse, he felt that he needed to offer her those things. He wanted to protect her and make her feel safe and precious.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to develop a romantic relationship as they continued working together. She’d only been in the Safe House for about four months—working most of that time with Keith—when the two of them decided that it was time for her to leave. Ashley took her two babies and moved in with him. Even though they’d only known each other a few short months, they felt as though they’d known each other for an entire lifetime. They were soul mates; two old souls connecting together. She knew that he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. He was gentle, kind and patient; the complete opposite of what she knew. Keith was a great man, well established and he cherished her baby girls. What more could a girl ask for? She would have no idea how stable and supportive he was. Not until they had to deal with Ashley’s crazy past after they were living together.

Chapter 2

With their whirlwind romance, Keith and Ashley tied the knot about six months after living together, and he treated the girls as if they were his own. Coming home to a loving family after a hard day at work was satisfying to him, but the most rewarding of all was when the girls began calling him Dad. He loved the sound of that. Things were finally starting to fall in place for all of them as Ashley stayed at home caring for her children while Keith earned a living to support them. It was definitely not something she’d been accustomed to, but it felt wonderful. She offered to find work, to help pay their bills, but he insisted that her place was at home with the girls.

One day while at home, Ashley decided to check her email—something she hadn’t done in months. Busy with escaping her controlling ex, living in the Safe House and then moving in with and marrying Keith, she hadn’t had much free time. Her mom, Brenda, had sent her a message. Reluctant to open it at first, she decided that she should at least see what her mom wanted. She hadn’t spoken to her—or really anyone—since she left Billy. Her mom had asked how everyone was doing. She was interested in hearing about her grandbabies and was curious as to what they were doing. Ashley was happy enough in her life that she decided to share the joy with her mom. She’d met the man of her dreams, lived in a beautiful place and was doing well. She knew her mom would be happy for her; and proud of her choices.

Mom,

We’re all doing great! When I stayed at the Safe House, I met a wonderful man who is a bank loan officer for Missouri State Bank. His name’s Keith, and the girls and I have been living with him since I left the shelter. I must warn you, though. You have a son-in-law now because we tied the knot! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I was getting married. It was kind of a last minute decision so please don’t be mad. We couldn’t wait another day and had a small ceremony at the courthouse. The girls love him to death and call him Dad. He’s excellent to all of us and insists that I don’t work. He wants me to stay at home to raise the girls. I miss you and love you. I hope all is going well.

Love,

Ashley

Unfortunately, Tim used her response as an opportunity to try to exert control over his daughter, risking her relationship with her husband. There was no way that she would have ever responded to a message from him, but she would answer to her mom. By this point, she’d stopped calling him dad and had been calling him Tim for the last couple of years. Ashley knew her mom well enough to know that they were both victims of abuse, and she would never deny her mom the opportunity to hear about how they were doing. Of course, Ashley wouldn’t find out any of this until it was too late.

Her dad stormed into the bank where Keith worked and began to cause a rampant scene. Sitting at his desk, he started to stand up as the man approached him.

“You Keith Marshall?” the tall, lanky man demanded.

“Yes, I am. Is there something I….” Keith initiated until he was interrupted.

“Tell me where Ashley and the girls are,” he growled, flaring his nostrils as his dark, greasy hair fell over his left eye.

“I’m sorry. Who are you?” Keith’s demeanor cocky, confused as to who this man was. Initially, he thought it must be Ashley’s ex, but the man appeared too old to be him.

“I’m her dad! And you’re going to tell me where they are right now!” Tim snarled, punching the desk.

The bank tellers froze as the ugly, violent scene unfolded before them. The bank manager signaled Keith to see if he wanted her to call the police. He nodded his head.

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” he said calmly. “Ashley is my wife and I can assure you that she and the girls are fine. I’m going to ask you to leave before the police come arrest you.”

“You motherfucker!” Tim spat in his face; it landed on his right cheek. “You’re going to tell me where my kid and grandkids are! Those are
my
girls. Don’t think I won’t do what’s necessary to get to them!”

Keith was beginning to realize how right his wife had been and how psycho her dad was. She wasn’t exaggerating; she was telling it exactly how it was. It frightened him to deal with the crazed man, he could only imagine how she must’ve felt growing up as his punching bag.

Within minutes, the police walked into the bank. The bank manager, Sharon, pointed in the direction of Tim and nodded her head to indicate where he was. As the police approached him, he became combative. Dragging him out, Tim’s heels dug into the floor as he threatened Keith that this wasn’t over and he’d see him again. He would be back.

That night when Keith came home from work, he told Ashley about the events of his day and how her father had come into the bank. She was visibly shaken as her husband laid out the story, spelling out how crazy her dad still was.

“That’s not my dad,” she insisted. “He may have helped my mom create me, but I refuse to call him dad. Did he say why he wanted to see us?”

“No, he said that you and the babies were his girls and he wanted you back. And he kept referring to the girls as
his
kids. It was weird. You should’ve seen the look in his eyes when I basically told him that you were my family now and that you were all safe.”

“Let me guess, his eyes were all bugged out and wild looking,” she described the eyes entirely to Keith. Of course, she knew all too well what they looked like; she had looked into them many times as he cussed her out and called her names her entire life.

“Yeah, and he stunk. His hair was a greasy mess and he looked like he was malnourished,” he added.

“Yep, he was probably on one of his drug binges. I tried telling you that I have a crazy family. I’m sorry babe. I’m sorry that he came into your work and caused a scene like that. I don’t even know how he knew where you….” She stopped mid-sentence as she realized what had happened.

“What?” her husband asked.

“Oh, no, it’s all my fault,” she sulked as her back slid down the wall and she sank to the floor.

“What are you talking about?”

“My mom emailed me,” she began shaking her head. “She asked how we were doing—me and the girls. I responded to her and told her that we were all great and that I’d gotten married.” Pausing for a moment, she could feel the pit of her stomach drop as shame heated her face.

“What is it?” Keith asked.

“I told her your name and that you worked at Missouri State Bank. He must have read the email and that’s how he knew who you were and where you worked. I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.

“Ashley! Why would you do that?” his voice was filled with confusion and a hint of anger. “If he’s this crazy, why would you voluntarily give him information?”

“I’m sorry,” she cried harder. “I didn’t know that my mom would let him see it. How was I supposed to know that he’d come to your work?”

Seeing how shaken she was, he felt sick he’d displayed his anger in front of her. She’d been subjected to hatred and violence her whole life, and she deserved better than that.

“I’m sorry, babe. Come here,” he said holding his arms out to hug her.

She buried her head in his chest as he embraced her. Crying hysterically, he rubbed her back and told her that everything was okay. After a few moments, she abruptly stopped and looked him straight in the eye; almost as though someone had flipped a switch.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve got it!” she said, pulling back from him. “I’m going to tell him to fuck off and stay out of our lives. He ran my life as a child and he’s still doing it now. Fuck him! I’m going to be an adult and run my own life, and I’m going to tell him just that,” she said with finality.

“What do you think he’ll say or do?” Keith asked, worried that the crazy psycho would come back into his work causing another scene. He was lucky the day Tim did it when there were no customers in the lobby; only his coworkers. That, alone, was embarrassing enough.

“I don’t really care, but I’m going to tell him to stay away from the girls, you and me!”

She picked up her phone and began dialing.

“Are you calling him right now?” Keith asked, still unsure if this was the best course of action to take at the moment.

“Yes! Do you want to wait until he comes back into the bank?”

“Actually, that’s what I was afraid of.”

She walked over to him as she stopped dialing the number. “Keith, when I was in that Safe House, one of the things they taught us was to rid yourself of all toxic relationships and environments. It’s the only thing that will stop the cycle. And damn it! I’m going to do it now!”

Her tone alerted him to the fact that she wasn’t taking this lightly. She was pissed, but he could understand why and how she felt. His feelings were mutual.

She picked the phone up and redialed the number, this time placing the call. As the phone rang, she looked at Keith and arched her eyebrows as she impatiently waited for them to answer the phone. On the third ring, her dad picked up.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing going to my husband’s work like that?” she demanded.

Keith could only imagine what the scumbag was saying to her, by the way her face twisted and flushed.

“You know what, Tim? You need to fuck off! Stay out of our lives. We don’t want anything to do with you!”

Apparently, Tim had words for Ashley. Keith could hear him screaming into the phone though he couldn’t make out exactly what was being said.

“Fuck you!” Ashley screamed at the top of her lungs as she stomped her foot on the ground. “Stay the fuck away! Tell my mother that I love her and I hope she gets away from you!”

As she hung up on him, it felt as though the weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt free, dignified. It was sanctioning to tell him how she felt. When she finally calmed down, she began to feel sorry, but she knew it had to be done. After a while, they surprisingly didn’t hear a peep from him, or her mom. She had expected, with his controlling behavior, that her phone call would make him come out of the woodwork completely unglued.

It had been a few weeks since she’d had the phone conversation with her dad when her mom called her one day. She was reluctant to answer the call, not knowing if it was her mom or her dad, but she decided to answer it at the last minute. It was Ashley’s mom, Brenda. She called to apologize for Tim’s behavior and professed how much she missed them. Begging to see them, she could hear the pain and compassion in her mom’s voice. It broke Ashley’s heart. She loved her mom, and never intended for her to get hurt in the process. But there was still the circumstance that she didn’t trust her dad and his explosive behavior, and the fact that they still used drugs. At the end of the call, she promised her mom that she would talk to Keith once he was off work to discuss the possibility of her being able to see the kids. When he came home that evening, she talked to him after the girls were in bed for the night.

“I need to talk to you,” she said as they snuggled in bed.

“About what?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her.

“My mom,” she gazed into his eyes as she judged his reaction. “She called me today and asked if she could see the kids. She really misses them.”

“What do you think?” he asked with a worried look on his face.

“I don’t know. My mom hardly knows Brooke at all. You know, right after she was born we went to live in the Safe House and then we moved in with you. She hasn’t seen either of them in a really long time,” she said with a look of uncertainty on her face.

“But?” Keith probed.

“You know me so well,” she smiled. “But I’m worried about them going over there because of their drug use. I’ve never shared this with you,” she turned away from him, staring at the ceiling.

He patiently waited for her to continue.

“When I was little, I remember going into my bedroom at night and hearing them smoke meth. Sometimes he’d hit her—for any reason, sometimes no reason at all. One night, she pissed him off; I was in my room with the door shut. They were yelling at each other and I heard him hit her. It was the sickest sounding thud sound that you can imagine. Instantly, she fell silent. The next day when she woke up, she complained of a headache. But I remembered him hitting her so I looked at her head and it was extremely swollen on her left side. It took almost two weeks for the swelling to go down, and sometimes,” she started to cry.