The Shoestring Club (21 page)

‘Are you sure you’re all right, Jules? Is there anything—’

‘I’m just great.’ I get up, grab the first glass I see, one of Iris’s favourite pink glass tumblers from the draining board, walk towards the fridge and pull it open so hard that the bottles in the door clink together. I pull out the white wine.

‘What are you doing?’ Pandora says. ‘I thought you were off the booze.’

I swing around. ‘I said I’d cut down, OK? And I haven’t had a drink all week, which in my book
is
cutting down. But right now I fancy a single solitary glass of wine. Please don’t go blabbing about it to Bird or Dad. They’ll only start going on at me again.’

‘Because they’re concerned about you, Jules.’

‘I’m fine, honestly. So no one needs to worry a dot. I just need a bit of time on my own. I’m sure you understand.’ And with that I walk out of the kitchen.

A few minutes later there’s a knock on the front door. If Pandora has summoned Bird or Dad home to deal with me, I’ll quite literally kill her. And there’s no way I’m working in Shoestring if— But then I stop. It can’t be Bird or Dad, they have their own keys.

I hear voices in the hallway, Pandora has obviously let someone in. I open the living-room door just in time to catch her say in a low voice, ‘Go easy on her, Jamie. It’s Lainey’s hen tonight and—’

‘Thank you, Pandora,’ I cut in. ‘Don’t you have somewhere to be?’

‘I don’t think I’ll bother now, can’t raise the energy.’ She yawns deeply. ‘Night, Jamie. See you in the morning, Jules. Take it easy on the wine, OK?’

I ignore her.

As she climbs the stairs I stay fixed to the spot, staring at Jamie, not knowing quite what to say or if I’m pleased to see him or not.

He’s standing there, just as awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. There’s a laptop cradled in his arms.

‘Hi, Jules,’ he says after a few long seconds. ‘Look, I’m sorry about the other day.’ He pauses and gives a nervous smile. ‘I seem to spend my time apologizing to you. Anyway, I’m happy to help you design a new skin. And I thought you might like to see some of the
Bold Tales
animation I’ve been working on.’

I’m still annoyed with him from our last encounter, and I don’t
want
to smile back at him, but my mouth has other ideas.

‘I’d like that,’ I hear myself say. ‘Come on in.’

He follows me into the living room and then looks around. ‘Is there a plug? I’m pretty low on battery.’

I point at the wall behind the computer and he settles himself on the office chair, then hands me Iris’s elephant picture before putting his laptop down on the wood.

He grins. ‘Cute. This what you spend your evenings doing, Jules? Sketching elephants?’

‘It’s Iris’s, you goon.’ As he sets up his computer, I tell him about our trip and about Arietty. ‘She’s gorgeous too, even looked stunning in her zoo uniform. I could introduce you guys if you like.’

Jamie gives me a funny look. ‘I don’t think so, Jules.’ He focuses his attention on the laptop screen. ‘There’s something I need to talk to you about.’ His voice wobbles a little. ‘This thing happened in Galway. Sorry, “thing” is the wrong word.’ He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. ‘It’s just so hard . . .’ he stops.

I pull over a chair. ‘Take your time, Jamie. I’m not going anywhere.’ When we were teenagers and Jamie had something important or more often, upsetting, to tell me, it always took him ages to get the words out.

After a long pause he says, ‘There was this girl, she was really special.’

And as soon he says it I have a strange sensation, like my guts are being twisted. It can’t be jealousy can it? We haven’t been close for years and we’ve never been
that
close.

He continues ‘But she . . .’

While he starts talking again, about how he met this girl, I try to focus on something else, willing the tension I’m feeling to ease. I stare out of the window, into the darkness of the garden, fixing my eyes on the tree house. I notice the rope ladder is looking a bit worn, probably needs to be replaced.

‘Hang on, can you see that?’ I jump up and point at a flicker of light. It’s coming from inside my tree house.

‘What?’ He gets up and joins me at the window.

I point. ‘Up there.’ I press my face against the glass, cup my hand over my eyes and peer out. There it goes again, a bright pinprick of red.

‘What is it?’ I ask him. ‘Can you see? Just inside the window.’

‘You don’t have a candle lit up there, do you?’

‘No. Why? You think it’s a flame?’ My stomach lurches. Not my tree house, please no.

‘I supposed we’d better check . . .’ Jamie begins, but I’m already out of the door. Seconds later I’m standing under the oak tree, completely panicked. I sniff the air, and right enough it smells a little smoky, but I don’t see any flames. I grab the end of the rope ladder and start to climb, cursing myself for not allowing Dad to build a proper fixed ladder years ago. I always liked being able to pull up the rope ladder, it stopped Pandora or the adults having access to my own secret world while I was up there.

The small wooden door is open, which is strange, I’m always careful to close it. I left it open once years ago and when I next climbed up two startled magpies flew at me, hitting my face with their surprisingly strong wings; I’ve never forgotten it. Their beady eyes starred in my nightmares for months to come.

The smell of smoke is stronger now, but it’s not wood burning . . . it’s tobacco. I bend over a little and walk inside.

‘Hey, Jules, fancy meeting you here.’

I jump backwards so hard I almost fall off the platform. ‘Jesus, Ed, what the hell?’

Sprawled on the cushions at the back of my tree house is Edmund Powers. He pulls hard on his rollie, making the cigarette paper crackle and the red tip flame.

I stare at him in the gloom. Emotion ripples through me – anger, pain, regret, longing – for several seconds I’m so overcome I can’t speak. Eventually I manage to squeeze out, ‘I thought this place was on fire.’

He starts singing a snippet of an old Bruce Springsteen song. ‘Hey babe, I’m on fire,’ his voice low and husky.

‘What are you doing here?’ I demand.

‘Waiting for that muppet Jamie to leave so we can talk. Brought some supplies.’ He holds up a bottle of vodka, a carton of cranberry and a tube of white plastic cups – which for a second reminds me of Beatrix’s trunk – and gives me one of his easy grins.

I narrow my eyes. ‘How do you know Jamie’s here? Have you been spying on me?’

He picks a bit of stray tobacco out of his mouth, then grins at me, ignoring the question. ‘God, Jules, you look great. Let me get a better look at you.’

He reaches over, pulls the glass off the storm lantern and lights the wick of the candle. I study Ed’s face, flickering in the candlelight. I’d almost forgotten how ridiculously handsome he is. The blond shaggy hair and those impossibly full lips. My insides rearrange themselves and I feel that old familiar tingle.

‘Jules! Jules, you up there?’ Jamie calls from underneath the tree.

Shit, that’s all I need.

‘Stay right there,’ I hiss at Ed. He goes to get up but I point my finger at him. ‘I’m serious. You move and I’ll tell Lainey.’

‘Tell her what?’ he says, all innocent. ‘I haven’t done anything. Yet.’ He lingers over the last word.

I swear I can feel my organs pump out extra hormones.

‘You’re not funny,’ I whisper. ‘Just shush.’

‘Are you talking to me, Jules?’ Jamie asks. ‘Is everything OK? What was the light?’

I stick my head out and look down at him. ‘It must have been, um, a firefly or something. Nothing to worry about.’

Behind me I hear Ed chuckling away to himself. ‘A firefly? In Ireland? If he believes that he’s even more stupid than I thought.’

‘Shut up,’ I hiss at Ed.

‘What did you say?’ Jamie stares up at me, bewildered.

‘Sorry, um, I was just—’

Suddenly, I can feel the heat of Ed’s body behind me, smell Allure mixed with fresh tobacco smoke.

‘She was talking to me, mate,’ Ed says, holding onto the top of the door frame and sticking his head out. The outside light is on, illuminating Jamie. Even from up here I can see the disgust on his face.

There is complete silence for a moment as the boys’ eyes lock.

Ed adds easily, ‘We’re meeting for one final goodbye shag.’

I’m so flabbergasted that for a second I can’t speak. Finally I splutter, ‘We absolutely are not! I’m sorry, Jamie, I got up here and he was—’

But Jamie is already walking back towards our house at speed.

‘Jamie!’ I yell. It’s lucky Pandora’s bedroom is on the far side of the house or she’d be straight out, wondering what all the commotion is.

‘You fucking idiot,’ I tell Ed, before turning around to climb back down the rope ladder. But he flicks his cigarette onto the grass and grabs both my arms. I try to shake him off. ‘Let go, Ed.’

‘No.’

‘What do you mean, no? Get the hell out of my tree house. Go home to Lainey.’

‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I think I may have made a mistake.’

My whole world shifts for a second, sending me into a tailspin. This is Ed all over, coming out with sweeping statements that make my mind reel. Does he want me back, is that what he’s saying?

‘Ed, you can’t come out with things like that when I’m swinging around on a rope ladder.’

‘Come back up then.’

I’m terrified of what he might say. Is he playing with me? Is he serious? It’s impossible to know with Ed. ‘No, Jamie’s—’

‘Not good enough for someone like you. Never has been. Just get back up here, we need to talk. I’m freaking out about all this wedding stuff. I mean I love Lainey and everything—’

I come crashing back down to earth, like a broken lift. Of course he doesn’t want me back.

I twist my head just in time to see Jamie’s face, staring through the living-room window, his laptop tucked under his arm. I’m not sure if he can see me properly, but I can see him. His hair has flopped over his face so it’s hard to read his expression, but from the slope of his shoulders he doesn’t look happy. And then he disappears.

And the way things are, the way he feels about Ed Powers in particular, I doubt if he’ll ever be back again, unless I talk to him, convince him Ed was joking and that we didn’t have some sort of sick pre-arranged rendezvous. I have a choice, Jamie’s friendship versus Ed’s what . . . guilt? Pre-wedding jitters?

At that moment, I see my mistake, the mistake I’ve made all along, allowing my hormones to dictate my actions. I lost Jamie once, and I’m not going to let that happen again without a fight. He’s worth dozens of Eds. I can cope with being single, but being alone, without a friend in the world, I can’t deal with. Right now I
need
Jamie’s friendship. A lot more than I need Ed messing with my head.

‘At least I think I do,’ Ed adds slowly. ‘Love her I mean. But maybe I don’t. Maybe it’s not love at all, maybe it’s . . .’

And that pushes me right over the edge. I want him to shut up, to stop talking, stop me feeling so hopeful one second, desolate the next. I was right, Ed is
poison
. I face the tree again and bite down hard on one of his hands.

He pulls it away, yelping. ‘Shit, Jules. What are you like? That hurt.’

I scramble down the rope ladder and run towards the front of the house.

‘Come on, Jules,’ I can hear Ed shout behind me. ‘You know you want to talk to me.’

I spin around. ‘And what about your email, Ed? You told me to keep away from you.’

‘I can explain. And speaking of—’

But I run away from his cajoling voice. And then I spot Jamie, walking quickly towards his house.

‘Jamie!’

He stops for a second, so I know he heard me, but he doesn’t turn around.

‘Jamie, wait up.’

By the time I’ve reached him, he’s sitting on his front step, hugging his laptop to his chest, tapping his feet on the ground.

‘Well?’ he says, his eyes flat.

I sit down beside him, catching my breath from the run.

‘I don’t know what he was doing up there,’ I say. ‘Honestly. I haven’t spoken to him in months.’

Jamie is silent.

‘Say something,’ I beg.

He shrugs. ‘There’s nothing to say. But you know he’s getting married in a few weeks, right? To your best friend?’

I wince. ‘Ex-best friend.’

‘What are you playing at, Jules?’

I stare at him. ‘You don’t believe me, do you? You seriously think I’d have anything to do with that slimeball now?’ I give a wry laugh. ‘I thought you knew me better than that.’

‘I used to, but then you changed. Pushed me away.’

I don’t know quite what to say to that. He’s right, after Ed and Jamie’s fight, I pretty much dumped Jamie instantly. I chose Ed over our years of friendship. I take a deep breath. ‘I know I hurt you, Jamie, but it was a long time ago. Can’t we forget about it, just move on? I could really do with a friend right now.’