The She-Hulk Diaries (25 page)

I wanted to know more about Sven and all things Svenish, so I asked him about his interests. He described himself as a tinkerer and said, “I tinker with mechanics, and I suppose my organ cloning is also a form of tinkership. I’m driven to create and innovate.”

“I wish I could do something creative. I’m more of a puzzler, at least in my profession.”

He laid his fingertips on my wrist, sending off a shiver, and said, “Perhaps you have not explored your creative potential, Jennifer. Perhaps I can help unleash that force within you.”

Was he talking about kinky sex? It’s hard to tell with Europeans, but he may have been talking about taking a photography class, which is why I hate ambiguity. “Right now, my priority is winning this case. Thank you for this wonderful meal, Sven. I enjoyed myself.”

“Can’t I tempt you with a glass of Tokay and an espresso?”

When I declined, he offered his car and said he’d stay a little longer.
When he took my hand and lifted it to his lips, it brushed against the napkin still tucked in my top.

“May I return this to you later?” I asked Sven and coughed.

“Please keep it. Good night.”

As his driver/guard took me home, I sunk back into the seat and thought that this Valentine’s Day was definitely worth the wait even without passionate smooching, a detail I’d include in next year’s resolutions.

I got home and arranged the napkin in the neck of an empty vase. If things worked out with Sven and I eventually revealed my secret, the napkin would be the hilarious story we’d tell our children. I can’t wait to get over my nervousness around him! I know I’ll feel all the exciting sparks once I get over being stunned by his looks.

If I had known how successful I would be completing resolutions set at a reasonable time, i.e., not January 1, I would have done this long ago. I could even write a how-to self-improvement book:
The Valentine’s Day Total Life Makeover
by Dr. Jennifer S. Walters.

D always said, “People shouldn’t call themselves doctors unless they’re capable of performing an emergency appendectomy or giving me a pap smear that doesn’t pinch.” But readers might be reassured to know that I had professional credentials.

Writing a self-help book would be both creative and an outside-my-comfort-zone activity. It’s possible that my book would be so incredibly popular that I would be invited as a guest on talk shows, or even asked to host my own talk show!
Dr. Jennifer’s Lifestyle Makeover
. Or
Dr. Walters’s Resolutions Done Right Show
. I should find an apartment that could do dual duty as a writer’s haven.

As if he could read my mind, my former boss and current landlord called me. “Hi, Jen.”

“Hi, Holden! So nice to hear your voice.”

“The new associates don’t think so, but I’m very stern with them and always comparing their work to yours,” Holden said. “I’d like to take you up on that offer for a drink. How’s tonight?”

Getting together with Holden is both work and fun, so more of those life-balance points!

Holden wanted to meet at another dive bar, Juliet & Snickers, over on Second. Like the last time, he was there before me. The crowd was around my age, but casual in a way that made me feel ma’amish in my business suit. Holden, easily the oldest person in the bar, seemed perfectly comfortable in a booth with a glass of beer. As I came over, he signaled to the waitress for a round for both of us.

We greeted each other and I looked around. “Holden, why here? I’m sure everyone thinks I’m a narc trying to convince a prosperous crime lord to sell out one of his enemies.”

“I certainly hope so! It’s one-dollar beer night. Since you’re treating, I thought I’d be a cheap drunk for you.”

“That’s very considerate,” I said. “You like these sort of places.”

“I like places where I can talk without any colleagues overhearing,” he said slyly. “Also, there’s always the chance of a brawl. You’re a thing of beauty when you fight, Jen.” He placed his hand on his heart and gave a sigh.

I said, “My Krav Maga coach says I’m getting sloppy because I spend too much time at the office and not enough training.”

“How is the new job?”

“Exciting, but not
crazy
exciting. My associate is Genoa Lewes.”

“The General? Lucky you. I’d hire her in a second,” he said.

The cute waitress brought our drinks and I took a sip of beer. It tasted deliciously refreshing after my day. “I really like working with the General. She has a calm competence and never gets flustered.”

“What about Amber Tumbridge? Isn’t she second on the ReplaceMax case?”

“That case isn’t even filed yet, Holden,” I said. “You know too much.”

“I keep spies in all the popular legal watering holes.” His blue eyes twinkled and he told me, “Amber’s an iron maiden. Scares the living daylights out of most men. She’s engaged to Quinty’s son and probably put more strategic planning into that marital campaign than most nations put into a war, so QUIRC will soon be all in the family.”

I tried to sound casual and said, “I think any man would be impressed with a woman like Amber.”

“Impressed, yes, just like any man is impressed when my granddaughter lands a left hook on his jaw. God only knows what Amber will do with the firm when she gets control.”

“Holden, you’re trying to scare me back to you, aren’t you?”

“Always, and bring the General with you, because I know you’re not going to stay at QUIRC and watch Amber rise to senior partner,” he said. “I give you two years tops before you need more thrills.”

“I don’t need more thrills. That’s Shulky.”

“You had enough trouble adjusting to life as a human practicing
superhuman law with us. How are you going to manage as a human practicing normal human law?”

I mentioned the luxury of having a private meditation room. “Besides, the Avengers have defeated all the recent alien attacks just fine without Shulky. It seems that they prefer the Black Widow’s detached efficiency to Shulky’s more emotional and impetuous personality.”

“Do I detect a little jealousy, Jen?” he said. “Black Widow is a wonderful asset, but she’s not superhuman, and she could never replace Shulky’s role in protecting the world. I can’t speak for others, but I prefer Shulky’s passion. She fights—and she lives—with heart and soul. When Victor von Doom returns, we’ll need Shulky’s help to defeat him.”

“Have you heard anything about VvD?”

“No, but he never seems to stay away from you or her for very long. He’s especially enraged every time she defeats him.”

“Beaten by a girl,” I said. “Men have issues with that.”

“And what a girl!” Holden said. “Intelligence, beauty, strength. I’m talking about the both of you.”

I blushed and said, “I know von Doom’s evil, but I comprehend how he came to be that way—with his home, family, and people being vilified and destroyed. His genius rose out of nowhere, inspired to rescue his mother from Mephisto’s grip. I wonder what he would have been like if his experiment hadn’t gone wrong and he was never scarred hideously, making people fear him.”

“Jen, you always want to see the good in others, but I assure you that von Doom would be the same evil bastard no matter what he looked like,” he said. “I’d like to change my prediction for your stay at QUIRC to one year
max
, and we can discuss your napping—I mean, meditation—room. I need you on my team to fight the good fight.”

“Which good fight in particular?”

“Totally confidential: my new branch will be dedicated to alternative human life form law.”

“Wow!”

“Exactly. The other partners and I are setting the groundwork, and everything should be in place by the time you quit QUIRC or are asked to quietly get the hell out. The backlash against alternative life forms is coming. The fear and hatred always resurges one way or another.”

“Like the laws to enforce a Superhuman Registry,” I said. “Incite paranoia in the population and confuse the issues so that no one questions the real motivation: unnamed powers who want to identify every superhuman for eventual exploitation or extermination.”

“This time we’re going to be ready,” he said. “How’s the apartment hunt going?”

I told him that I’d been busy, and he mentioned that he’d heard about the recent superhuman incidents, but he didn’t know who the two new superhumans could be.

“At least one of them was nice,” I said. “
Nice
. It’s coming up everywhere, just like Joocey Jooce is everywhere. Do you know anything about the owners?”

Holden looked at me like I’d lost my marbles. “Of a juice company? All I know is that their mango-apricot smoothie is my favorite. Now, about the loft…” He basically said that there was no hurry, but would I please leave soon.

We gossiped about the latest goings-on in superhuman law, and I told him a little about Sven Morigi. “I think he’s spent all his life hiding in laboratories, because there’s not much information about him otherwise. Well, that’s how scientists are; they’d rather be looking through a microscope than be under one. I know Bruce hates being in the public eye.”

“Morigi must be an extraordinary genius.”

“Why do you say that?”

“If he was only an ordinary genius, he’d have Amber on first chair, because she’s the obvious upper tier, golden girl choice. The fact that he appreciates your greater talent proves that he must be extraordinary.”

“Holden,
you
appreciated my talent.”

“Exactly. Point proven.” Holden lifted an eyebrow and said, “Everyone talks about how good-looking he is. He’s single, too.”

“It’s my policy never to date clients. Rarely to date them. I really try not to date them. Well, at least during a case. That’s my intention, at least.”

He was chuckling as I excused myself to go to the ladies’ and crossed paths with the waitress.

“Are you and the silver fox staying for the show?” she asked.

“Only for drinks,” I said, and then I noticed the small stage at the back.

“Too bad,” she said. “Fractious Faraday is our new house band. They’re killer. You should come back to see them. The lead singer—utterly panty-melting hot.”

“I’ll check them out,” I said, just to be polite.

When I returned to the booth, Holden looked a little more serious and said, “Jen, I understand that you’ve stopped going to your therapy sessions. The Avengers have asked me to act as their representative in this matter.”

“It’s nice that they’re suddenly interested in me, since they were fine with ditching me along with She-Hulk. The agreement allows me to suspend sessions if lives are at stake, and my ReplaceMax witnesses are terminally ill.”

“Perhaps you need to review it again, particularly the condition that negates any loopholes you wrote for yourself.”

“That condition isn’t in the agreement,” I said confidently.

Holden smirked. “You might not have noticed it because I had one of the time-manipulators set a delay function on it.”

I drank the rest of my beer and said, “Holden, you’re not only a silver fox, but a sly one. Okay, I’ll make an appointment with Dr. Alvarado, not that anything is wrong with me.”

I started my morning with easy attack drills with one of Azzan’s students, and when I got pinned to the mat for the second time, Azzan said,
“Jennifer, where is your eagle-sharp focus? Bang, bang, you are dead and your pretty neck is broken already.”

“Sorry, I was thinking about work.”

He flipped his hand and said, “Then go to work and do not come back until you are two hundred percent a sexy killing machine.”

“Yes, sir.” I felt bad that I hadn’t even been 100 percent, but I couldn’t stop angsting about the little girl I’d be meeting for my case. Sick kids have that effect on me, making me feel powerless.

When I arrived in the children’s ward of the hospice, a nurse pointed me toward Mavis Bertoli’s room. I walked into the cheery yellow room and saw a haggard woman dozing in a visitor’s chair. Stuffed animals, picture books, and toys filled the counter below the window. Crayon drawings covered a bulletin board.

In the high bed, nestled among the white linens, was the tiny body of a girl. She was so shrunken, she looked much younger, and blue-veined eyelids were closed in her thin, pale face. Her brown hair had the dullness of illness. She was hooked to monitors that made a steady
beep-beep-beep
.