The Scars of Us (2 page)

No… no, no, no!

Tears poured in rivulets down my cheeks as my lungs seized, my breath leaving me instantaneously at the sound of his name. My legs gave out as my stomach roiled, and my vision blurred. Kamden caught me before I crashed to the floor, and then blackness descended on me.

Light slapping on my cheek roused me from darkness. My eyes fluttered open to Kamden, whose face was creased in concern. His blue-gray eyes locked on mine before he sighed in relief. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“I didn’t plan to pass out,” I retorted as I sat up. I shut my eyes tight and pressed my fingers on the bridge of my nose as dizziness spread over me..

Kamden gave me some space, scooting over closer to the edge of my bed. “I told you to sit down, but you’re so stubborn.”

I scoffed as I rolled my eyes, not acknowledging his comment otherwise. He was right, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

Noticing I was in my bed, I scrunched my face in confusion as I asked, “How long was I out?”

“Not long. Ten minutes, maybe.”

I glanced at the clock, my stomach dropping at the sight of the time.
Oh shit, I have to get ready for work!

“Don’t even think about it, Ky. I already called your boss and let him know that you’re taking a sick day.”

“But—” I attempted to argue.

Kamden moved closer to me on the bed. “No buts. You need to rest. You’re in no condition to do anything after that incident. Plus, you haven’t been sleeping well either. Your boss said that you could work on your projects from home today.” His tone was stern, but nurturing, the concern in his voice evident.

“I’m fine, Kam. Really, I am,” I said, attempting to get out of staying at home with my thoughts all day, especially following the bomb that had been dropped on me.

Kamden gave me a knowing look as he replied, “We need to talk about this, Kaiya. You can’t just avoid everything all the time. It’s not healthy.” Averting his eyes, I concentrated on a stitch of fabric on my comforter as I picked at it.
He knows me too well.

“I can’t,” I whispered as tears began to surface.

Kamden grabbed my hands, cradling them in his larger ones. “Kaiya, look at me. I’m here for you—don’t shut me out. I only want to help you, to do what’s best for you. Please talk to me.”

A rogue tear fell from my lids as I looked up at him. More threatened to follow as I angrily questioned, “How could they let him out, Kamden? After everything he did to me, how could they release him? He’s a fucking monster!”

“I know. He’s only being evaluated—he’s not out yet. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure he doesn’t get released. There has to be someone I can talk to at the hospital.” His eyes narrowed in determination, his tone resolute as he spoke.

Biting my lip, I nodded as my tears began to flow freely. “He’ll find me, Kam. He’ll come back for me. What if he—”

Kamden shifted next to me, his body tensing. Gripping my chin, he forced me to look him straight in his eyes. “He’ll never touch you again! I’ll kill him before I let that happen,” he growled in fury. “No matter what happens, I’ll protect you, Ky.”

Unable to speak, I nodded again. The tears continued to rain down my face as Kamden wrapped his arms around me. Clutching the back of his shirt in my hands, I trembled against him as I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest.

Kamden ran his hand through my hair as he attempted to console me. “Shh, I’m right here,
sorella.
I’m not going anywhere—you’re safe with me.”

I don’t know how long I cried for, but Kamden never complained. Continuing to hold me, he murmured words of comfort, which helped pull me back from the abyss that always attempted to swallow me whole when I thought about Kaleb.

Pulling away, I wiped my swollen eyes with my palms. I looked up at Kam, who smiled softly at me, his face full of understanding.
Thank God for him.
I weakly smiled back, still fighting against the waves of emotion threatening to drown me. Even after eight years, Kaleb still managed to affect me so intensely. I hated it—hated him.

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?” Kamden asked, his tone tender and loving.
The perfect big brother
.

Wrapping my arms around my legs, I wiped my nose against my pajama bottoms. I probably looked like a horrific mess with puffy eyes and red, splotchy skin. “I don’t think I could stomach anything right now. The thought of him always makes me sick.”

“Well, let me know when you’re hungry. I’ll make you something,” Kamden offered as he rose up off my bed, making his way towards my door

“Don’t you have to go to work?” I inquired curiously, the space between my eyebrows bunching together in confusion.

“I called in, too. I wanted to make sure you were okay for the rest of the day.”

“Kam, you didn’t have to do that. I’m fine,” I lied. I was far from fine, but I didn’t want to tell him that. He’d only worry more.

His lips curved up as he leaned against the doorframe. “I don’t mind. Let me know if you need anything.”

As he turned to walk out, I stopped him, “Kam, wait.”

He stuck his head back through the doorway. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Giving me a genuine smile, he responded, “Anytime,
sorella.
”

Smiling, I watched as he pulled the door behind him, leaving it open just a crack. I couldn’t stop the warm feeling that filled me whenever he would use that term of endearment. Since I could remember, he’d called me
sorella,
which meant sister in Italian. Both sides of our family had some ancestry in Italy, and we had learned some words from our grandparents. Kamden was four years older than me, and had always been protective over me. He’d been even more so after the
incident
—especially since he almost didn’t make it in time.

Laying back in bed, the warmth from Kamden’s words began to fade away as memories of Kaleb came rushing back. Reminiscing about my childhood almost always reminded me of him because he was so interwoven with my past.

Curling up under the sheets, I attempted to dispel the thoughts of
him.
Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to focus on something else, but it was almost impossible since his face was so familiar to me—I’d never be able to forget it, no matter how desperately I wanted to.

Bolting out of bed, I headed to Kamden’s room. He was sitting at his desk with his laptop open, staring intently at the screen. Turning in his chair, he directed his attention to me, “Everything okay? Do you need something?”

Gnawing at my bottom lip, I nodded. “Can I lay with you?” I hated asking him to do that, hated being such a burden to him, but having him near me was the only way I would fall asleep after hearing about Kaleb.

“Of course, Ky. Anything you need.”

I silently walked over to his bed as he made his way to join me. Lifting the comforter, he slid onto the mattress and scooted back to allow me to slide in next to him before covering us with the blanket. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for sleep to find me in the warm security of Kamden’s embrace.

Carefully untangling myself from the naked woman clinging to me, I eased out from under the sheets and got out of her bed. I picked up my clothes from the floor, and slipped them on soundlessly before heading to the door.

Sneaking out, I softly closed the front door, so I wouldn’t wake up the woman…
Abby, I think
.

Whatever, her name didn’t matter, but I doubted she’d care whether I remembered or not based on the night we’d had.

A slight pang of guilt threatened to surface as I trotted down the stairs from just leaving like that. I shook my head, reminding myself that all women were the same—they couldn’t be trusted. I learned that from experience, and I’d be damned if I let myself be manipulated again.

Hopping into my Chevy Z71 truck parked in her apartment complex lot, I checked the time: 3:26 A.M.

Thank God, I don’t have to wake up early.

My first class at the gym tomorrow wasn’t until two, so I could sleep in. I had some fitness regimens and nutrition plans to work on before then, but I could squeeze them in when I woke up or in between classes if I needed to.

Once I arrived back at my apartment, I undressed and went to bed. My muscles were loose, my body relaxed from my release as I lay on my mattress. The woman from earlier was almost completely forgotten as I drifted off to sleep.

The gym was abnormally packed for a Thursday afternoon when I walked through the doors to start my shift. Our peak times were usually the evenings and weekends, so I was surprised to see so many people. Most of the machines were occupied by a mix of men and women, however, the majority of people were male muscle heads like me. Hardly any weights sat in their spots on the racks that lined the wall, and the clang of all the equipment echoed throughout the building. I also had many new faces in my Intermediate Kickboxing class, including some hot women.

I had to remind myself not to get involved with clients. Hooking up with them was bad for business, especially since I was one of the lead trainers. But it was difficult not to get sucked in by them, given some of the fine specimens that were at the gym regularly.

After my class ended, I went to my office to finish a fitness plan for one of my clients. I had finished most when I woke up that morning, and I just needed to put the final few touches on this last one. The man was an overweight lawyer who was trying to impress his paralegal mistress by losing weight and toning up.
Yeah, right.
The guy got short of breath every time he walked up the stairs to the upper level of the gym. He would need many sessions before he even came close to his goal, which was for him to lose fifty pounds in six months. If he followed the strict diet and exercise plan that I’d set, it could be possible, but it would take a level of commitment that I didn’t think he possessed. Most people lacked the drive to stick with a fitness regimen long enough to see results.

Once my client, Harold Banks, arrived, fifteen minutes late, we began the session with stretches to warm up his underused muscles. We briefly talked about one of his newest cases, a woman who had been in a car accident involving a drunk driver, as we stretched. After that, I took him to walk on the treadmill. He had already broken out into a slight sweat from the stretching and stairs, so I set his treadmill on low to start. I chose a medium pace for my machine, wanting to motivate but not discourage my client.

During our run, I noticed an unfamiliar face out of the corner of my eye. A woman, who looked to be my age, maybe twenty-five or twenty-six, hopped on a treadmill two machines away from mine. She seemed to be tuned out to the world around her, not seeking any attention like many of the other women here as her head bopped lightly to whatever was playing in her earbuds. Something about her immediately intrigued me; I couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but I wanted to figure it out. I had to stop myself from leaving Mr. Banks to go talk to her.

Her dark hair was pulled up in a high ponytail that swished back and forth as she briskly jogged. Even from this angle, I could see that she had gorgeous eyes, the color similar to that of bright, Caribbean waters.