The Rhythm of My Heart (28 page)

I’m just as confused as my dad is, but five pregnancy tests have to be right.

“I know. But I took five pregnancy tests this morning and they all showed a positive result. I have to go to the doctor to get it officially confirmed but… I’m going to have a baby, Daddy. My own baby.”

With tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face, he pulls me to him again and hugs me tight. “Oh, Sweet Pea. I’m so happy for you, so, so happy. This is incredible. You’re going to be an amazing mom, Gracie,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.

“I hope so,” I reply, slowly pulling myself together.

“I know so,” he says, with conviction.

We sit there together for several more minutes both lost in our own thoughts. Dad pulls back and puts a finger under my chin to lift my face, so he can see my eyes. “What happened with Cole?” he asks, the emotion replaced with an edge of anger.

“I saw him…” I start to say, but again the front door flies open, and Charlie comes charging into the room.

“What the hell did he do to her?” he demands, and when he sees me, his face becomes furious and he shakes his head. “What the hell!”

“Sit down, Charlie. Your sister has some news, but she was just about to tell me what happened with Cole,” Dad tells him.

Charlie takes a seat across from us in Dad’s armchair, his leg bouncing in agitation.

“Go ahead, Gracie,” Dad implores.

“After I took the tests this morning and they were positive, I just needed to see him—” I start.

“What tests?” Charlie interrupts.

Dad lets out a heavy sigh. “Gracie’s pregnant.”

“What? She’s… what?” Charlie splutters and the confusion on his face actually makes me want to smile.

“She hasn’t seen the doctor yet, but she’s pretty positive.”

“I’m gonna be an uncle; holy shit, I’m gonna be an uncle,” Charlie says, with obvious excitement, but almost instantly, the thunderclouds roll over his features and he jumps up from his chair. “Wait! If that asshole isn’t going to stand by you, he’s gonna have to deal with me. Is that what happened? He didn’t tell you to get rid of it, did he?” My protective big brother is pacing the living room with crazy eyes. “I’m gonna kill him,” he states.

“Charlie, stop!” I command, and he turns his attention to me. “If you give me a minute, I’ll explain what happened.”

As Charlie returns to where he was sitting, I begin again to relay everything that happened from when I first got to the hospital until I arrived at the house. I continue to shed tears while my dad comforts me, and when I get to the end, we’re all quiet for a few minutes.

“As pissed off as I am at Cole for not being honest about his previous relationship with the woman, do you think he was telling the truth about the kiss?” Dad asks.

I’m startled by the question and Dad’s lack of anger toward Cole. “What do you mean?” I ask, dumbly.

He takes my hand and looks at me. “What I’m trying to say, Grace, is I’ve seen the way Cole looks at you; I’ve seen the way he treats you. There’s no doubt in my mind that boy loves you, Gracie, and I highly doubt he would do anything to jeopardize that. I think he’s probably telling the truth about her kissing him.”

“What?” I yell. “You’re going to take his side too? Just like Ashley.”

“That’s not what Dad’s saying, Gracie. Yeah, he’s an asshole for not telling you they were engaged, but I don’t think Cole is cheating on you,” Charlie says.

I throw my hands up in the air in frustration and disbelief. Why does no one care I’ve just had my heart broken? “Unbelievable! I just… unbelievable! I find out I’m pregnant, which was never supposed to happen. I see my boyfriend kissing another woman, and then I find out he’s lied about his previous relationship with said woman. Now instead of defending ME,” I yell, pointing to my chest, “the people who I love and have ALWAYS stood by are defending him!”

“We’re not defending him, Gracie. We just think when you calm down and think about this rationally, you might see things differently.” Charlie interjects.

“Right,” I reply, nodding my head. “Because I’m being so fucking irrational right now.”

“Grace Margret! Watch your mouth,” Dad chastises.

I take a deep breath. “Okay, let’s think rationally shall we. Let’s think about how you felt when Nicole walked out on you and your baby, Charlie. Think about how heartbroken and devastated you were.”

“What has that got to do with anything, Gracie?” Charlie asks in confusion.

“It has everything to do with this!” I yell again. “I was there for YOU! I gave up my career for you, for this family. Because being there for you, loving you and supporting you, was the most important thing at the time. So think about how I feel right now, when I have you, Dad, and Ashley, all thinking about Cole and how I’ve got it all wrong.”

“Gracie,” Dad pleads.

“No, Daddy! You know, in a few days’ time when the hurt isn’t so immediate and I’ll have gone over and over everything in my mind, I probably won’t be as upset with you saying that stuff. But right now, in this moment, all I needed was for you to tell me how much of an asshole he is and how much you hate him for hurting me. I just needed you to be on my side and supporting me, worrying about me,” I finish on a sob.

“I am, Gracie,” he replies.

I shake my head sadly. “No… you’re not.” I close my eyes and pinch my nose between them; taking some deep breaths, I blow the last one out heavily. When I open my eyes, I reach for my bag and turn for the front door. “I’m going home and I’m taking the rest of the week off work. I just need some space.”

“Gracie, you don’t need to be alone right now.” Charlie says, walking toward me.

“Actually, I do. That way no one else can hurt me,” I reply, and I turn to open the door. I know what I just said was a bit harsh, but I can’t help feeling heartbroken by more than just Cole right now.

As the sun shines through Dad’s open door, Cole’s face comes into view. He looks just as sad and broken as I do, but he has no right. I didn’t lie to him or keep secrets.

“Gracie,” he says, his voice cracking and full of desperation. “Please, talk to me.”

I stand here looking into the face of the man who I love, the father of my child, and the man who broke my heart. “No,” I say, as I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk to you, Cole. I don’t want you to make promises you obviously can’t keep, and I don’t want to hear your excuses or lies.”

“I didn’t lie to you.”

“A lie by omission is still a lie, especially since I asked you about her on more than one occasion.”

His gaze goes to his feet as he shuffles them nervously. “What about the baby?” he asks when he looks as me again.

My hand instinctively goes to my stomach in a protective gesture, and I don’t miss the fact that Cole’s eyes track the movement. He stares at my stomach and I feel my chest tighten.
This should have been a happy time. We should be celebrating.

“I’ll let you know more once I’ve seen Sam. I’d never keep my child from its father, Cole,” I say.

“That’s it? We’re not going to talk about everything?”

“No. I have to go,” I say, and move past him and head for my car. I can’t stay here any longer.

“Gracie, please,” Cole desperately pleads again, but I continue walking away without looking back.

It’s then I hear my dad’s voice. “Just let her go, Cole. She needs time.”

Once I’m seated in my car and the engine roars to life, I chance one last glance at the house. My dad is standing behind Cole with his hand on his shoulder in comfort and support as a few stray tears trickle down Cole’s face. Who knew your heart could break more than once in a day? I sure as hell didn’t.

Chapter 34

Grace….

It’s been a week since Cole and I broke up outside the hospital. A week since I last saw him or spoke to him. A week since I last spoke to my dad, Charlie, or Ashley. They’ve called and messaged me relentlessly, especially Cole. I’m sure they even went to my house, but I decided I couldn’t be there, so I went out of town for a few days. I needed to try to get my head together.

I made my appointment with Sam the day after the hospital scene and made him swear he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. I know doctors have a confidentiality oath, but he’s Cole’s best friend and brother, so I wanted to make doubly sure he’d keep his mouth shut.

So, here I am waiting in Sam’s office at the hospital, hoping and praying I don’t run into Cole. I didn’t want anyone here with me today. I’m still reeling from the events of the previous week; right now, I know I couldn’t handle seeing Cole yet.

I’m looking through a pregnancy magazine when Sam walks into his waiting area.

“Gracie,” he calls softly.

I look up into his sympathetic eyes and muster all my strength to produce a fake smile. “Hi, Sam,” I greet, with too much enthusiasm.

His brow furrows, but he replies, “Come on. Let’s see how this little one is doing,” he says, gesturing toward the door he just came through.

Replacing the magazine, I make my way into his office and take a seat while he closes the door. Immediately, he’s in front of me and pulls me into a hug. “I know this is slightly unprofessional,” he chuckles. I take comfort in his arms and hug him back.

“How are you?” he asks.

“I’m okay, I guess,” I reply, letting go and taking a seat while he walks around to his side of the desk.

“Everyone’s been worried about you, you know. Cole’s not doing well.”

I blow out a frustrated breath, and simply reply, “I didn’t want to speak to anyone.”

Cole’s not the only one who isn’t doing well, but this appointment is about my baby, not Cole.

“Sam. I don’t mean to be rude, but can we not talk about that stuff right now.”

“Uh, sure. All right, let’s start then.”

Sam gets straight into doctor mode. I tell him all about my history and conditions, symptoms I’ve had, the fact I can’t be sure when my last period was because I haven’t had one since before I started seeing Cole. He asks if I’ve been sick and I tell him I haven’t, but then I remember the food poisoning I had only weeks after Cole and I started seeing each other.
Shit, that was months ago; surely that can’t be why.

When he’s gathered all the information he needs, weighed me, taken my blood pressure, and had a nurse come take some blood, Sam says he wants to do an ultrasound to have a look to see if we can determine how far along I am by measuring the baby’s size.

I’m taken to a room off Sam’s office and asked to get up on the exam bed. The thought suddenly occurs to me that Sam being my OBGYN means he will almost definitely have to see my lady bits.
Oh my God!
Slightly freaking out, I nervously look around, trying to think of a way to get out of this.

Sam enters the room with a big smile, but it instantly vanishes when he sees my face. “Gracie what’s wrong?”

I twist my hands together and can’t look at him “I, uh. I just realized the implications of you being my doctor,” I nervously whisper.

“Oh,” Sam replies, “I honestly didn’t think of that. I mean you’re my friend and this baby is, basically, family, but when you’re here as a patient that’s what I see you as… just a patient. But I understand and if this is too awkward and uncomfortable for you, I can refer you to someone else.”

I take all he’s said in, and I know Sam is the consummate professional. I know he would take better care of my baby and me than any other doctor could. He does this every day as his job; there’s no need for me to be embarrassed in front of him. So, I know without a doubt I want him to be my doctor. “Well, as long as you don’t feel strange about it, then I won’t either. This baby deserves the best and that’s what it will get.”

Sam’s smile brightens and he takes a seat at the ultrasound machine beside the exam table. “Okay, so just lift your shirt up over your stomach and lower the waist of your pants a little. I’m hoping we’ll be able to get a good view with this ultrasound.”

After squirting the cold gel on my stomach, Sam picks up the camera thingy attached to the machine and starts running it across the gel spreading it over my belly. Within seconds, a whooshing sound fills the room and I start to panic. “What’s that?” I ask.

“That, Gracie, is your baby’s heartbeat, and it sounds nice and strong, too,” Sam replies.

Tears instantly prick my eyes as I listen, mesmerized by the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.
My baby.

“Wow,” Sam says.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s perfect, Gracie. Just give me a second to take some measurements.”

I wait very impatiently for Sam to do what he has to do, trying to focus again on the rhythm of my little miracle’s heartbeat.

A few minutes pass before Sam turns the screen toward me. “Okay, see this,” he says, pointing at the screen. My eyes focus in on where Sam’s finger is. “That’s your baby’s heart.”

“Oh, my God!” I barely whisper.

“And this is the head,” Sam says, as he points to another part of the screen.