The Rhythm of My Heart (25 page)

I walk into the ER and see Allison behind the desk, so I head straight for her. She looks up and gives me a beaming smile. “Hi, Grace, how you are?”

I smile back. “I’m good, Allison; how are you?” I enquire.

Allison makes a waving gesture around the room and with a small laugh says, “It’s the ER, so you know… busy as always.” I nod in acknowledgement.

“Is Cole around?” I ask her.

Allison gives me another smile. “Actually, he’s on a break; he said he was going to the doctors’ lounge. Do you know where it is? You should be able to catch him there.”

I glance around.
I shouldn’t have come here while he’s working… I just really NEED to see his face.
“Umm, I think it’s on the second floor, isn’t it?”

Allison’s eyes narrow a little. “Yeah, it is,” she pauses for just a second, “Grace, are you okay?”

I hesitate and look back at her with a forced smile. “Of course, I’m just worried about interrupting Cole while he’s working. I’ll go up and see him really quickly and get out of his way.”

Allison gives me a concerned grin, and then composes her features. “I’m sure he’ll love to see you, Grace; he talks about you every chance he gets.”

“That’s good to know. Thanks, Allison; I’ll see you later.”

Allison smiles back. “It was good to see you, too, Grace; take care.” And with that, I give her a quick wave and head for the elevator.

As the elevator ascends to the second floor, my thoughts return to the revelation from this morning.
I just don’t understand it.
The bell dings to announce my arrival, the doors open, and I step out looking for signs to direct me to the doctors’ lounge, but as I walk without watching, I run straight into the broad, firm chest of Sam.

“Whoa… oh, hey, Gracie, you all right?” he asks as he realizes it’s me and steadies me. Cole’s best friend is a really nice guy and we’ve gotten pretty close since Cole and I have been together, but seriously… his gorgeous blue eyes and crooked smile are enough to make any girl melt. I don’t know how anyone concentrates in this hospital with Sam and Cole walking around.

“I’m great, Sam; how’s your day going?” I enquire, while giving him a quick hug.

“Busy, busy, busy, but I just delivered a beautiful, healthy set of twins, so the day couldn’t get any better.” Sam smiles widely.
How any pregnant woman can concentrate on giving birth with Sam as their doctor is beyond me.

“Well, that’s definitely something to be happy about,” I reply.

Sam smiles down at me. “Are you looking for Cole? You should probably head to the ER.”

“Ah, yeah, I was hoping to catch a few minutes with him. Allison said he was in the doctors’ lounge, so that’s where I’m headed now if I can find it.”

Sam smiles again and points down the hall. “Exactly, where I’m going; I’ll walk with you.”

We fall into step beside each other, and I glance up at him smirking. “Sooo, have you sent any more flowers to Ashley, lately?”

Sam shakes his head and chuckles while giving me a sidelong glance. “As if you don’t know already, Gracie; she’s your best friend and you tell each other
everything.
”

I give him an innocent slap on the arm, and sigh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but… It
would
be nice to hear
your
take on things.”

Sam snorts. “Right, Gracie, I know how you two work; I spill my guts to you and you report back to Ashley,” he says, on a laugh.

“You know us too well already! But seriously, you should just talk to her if you like her, Sam. I really think you’d be good for each other,” I say, giving him a shy look.

Sam’s face splits into his drop-dead gorgeous smile. “She’s one stubborn chick, but there is something about her. Although,
you
know it’s not always easy dating a doctor; I can’t see her dealing with it, especially with the vagina man comments.”

“You’re right, there; I do know what it’s like
, BUT,
I wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t worry about Ash, Sam; she just pokes fun to cover for when she’s nervous,” I say in reassurance, but Sam doesn’t respond.

We come to a stop outside a door marked ‘Doctors’ Lounge’. We look at each other with big grins on our faces as Sam reaches out and pushes the door open. As the door glides open silently and we step inside, I take in a sharp, shallow breath, my heartbeat accelerates to an extremely erratic rhythm and I feel my whole world come crashing down around me. My feet have frozen to the floor, Sam has stopped beside me as well, and our smiles have fallen from our faces.

Cole’s standing over by the window; his dark brown hair is messy as if someone has been running their fingers through it. It looks like it does after we’ve spent the night making love. But his hair isn’t what has made my heart stop beating, though; it’s the sight of Miranda, Queen Bitch of ex-girlfriends, standing in front of him. She looks gorgeous, even in her white lab coat with her long blonde hair hanging down her shoulders. Her arms are wrapped around Cole’s neck, her perfect lips are molded to Cole’s and his hands are settled intimately on her upper arms. They break apart and their eyes are locked on each other; Miranda has a sexy smile plastered on her perfect face, but I can’t read the expression on Cole’s.

I’m standing there completely stunned for a second until my mind suddenly bursts into action.
Not again, why is this happening again? I’m so stupid for thinking I would ever be enough for him. What am I going to do? Shit, shit, shit! I have to get out of here!

As I turn and walk back out the door and into the hall, my heart’s beating frantically, and I am vaguely aware that Sam is following me.
They were so wrapped up in each other they didn’t even notice us.
I start to walk down the corridor knowing that I’m leaving the love of my life behind. Nothing can change what I‘ve just seen. And there’s no possible explanation he could give that I would accept.
What the hell am I going to do?

I hear my name being called, but it takes a moment for my muddled brain to react. “Gracie!” It’s Sam. I turn around and look at him with vacant eyes; I feel completely numb, desolate, shattered.

Sam gives me a sad smile. “Gracie, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what the hell is going on. You should let him explain; I’m sure there’s an explanation.”

I stare through him and shake my head. “No, no; there’s no explanation for that, for
her
! I can’t see him right now. I don’t want to understand, and I don’t want to know; after all… I shouldn’t have expected anything different; I just need to go Sam; I just… I really need to go.”

Sam nods his head slowly. “Okay, Gracie, but listen… let me call Ashley and have her come get you. You shouldn’t be alone right now, and I can’t leave to drive you home. You shouldn’t drive; you’re too upset and it wouldn’t be safe.”

I numbly shake my head again, and quietly reply, “No, no; I’m fine Sam; really, I’m fine. I… uh… I have some stuff to do anyway.”
Yep, I definitely have stuff to do. Stuff like working out how to tell Dad and Charlie that my whole world tipped on its axis today. Stuff like packing up everything that belongs to Cole, and everything that reminds me of Cole, and getting it the hell out of my house and my life. Stuff like mending my heart and never, ever letting another man in, to mess with its rhythm again.
I turn back, continue walking to the elevators, and press the button.

“Gracie, wait,” Sam calls again, as he stops behind me and turns me around pulling me into a big hug. “I’m sorry, Gracie. I’ll find out what’s going on, but please… please, call Ashley.” His hug and his words should be comforting. I should be crying or at least be showing some kind of emotion, but I just feel empty… broken, this has happened before. Troy cheated on me as well, and of course, that hurt, but this time, it’s different. I didn’t love Troy. I wasn’t even really surprised when I walked in on him, but… but I love Cole. I’m so
unbelievably
in love with Cole.
I will never get over this!

I pull away from Sam and look up into his eyes, which are filled with sympathy. “Yeah, sure… Bye, Sam.”

As I get into the elevator, Sam’s shaking his head. I watch his expression change; it goes from sweet sympathy to raging anger and he turns on his heel and stalks back toward the lounge. Slowly, the doors of the elevator close until they’re shut tight, and so does the new protective shield around my heart.

Chapter 30

Cole….

I’m in the doctors’ lounge, finally, taking a quick break and grabbing a cup of coffee. The ER has been like a mad house all morning. I guess it doesn’t help not getting enough sleep last night, but then I’m NOT going to complain about that because I had a beautiful woman in my arms, making love to her for most of the night. So, here I am, standing at the window in the quiet lounge, sipping peacefully on my much-needed caffeine hit, when the door opens and Miranda walks in. Her face instantly brightens when she sees me standing here. She quickly glances around the room and, obviously realizing we’re alone, walks straight over to me.
For God’s sake, I really don’t need her shit today.

“Cole,” she practically purrs. “We need to talk.” Yep, here we go… maybe this break wasn’t such a blessing after all.

I sigh deeply. “And what exactly do we need to talk about, Miranda?” I snipe.

She tries to pull her pouty face on me. It’s a look I used to fall for and a look I used to find sexy. Miranda moves in closer to me. “Us, of course, Cole.”

I stare at her in disbelief and shake my head. “There is no
US
, Miranda.”

My comment has absolutely no effect on her. She steps in so we are only a few inches apart and wraps her hands around my neck.
What the fuck?
I put my coffee cup on the windowsill, immediately bring my hands up to her arms, and start to push her away, but she lunges forward and her lips connect with mine. It takes me a few seconds to comprehend what the hell is happening. In my stunned state, I gently push her arms and we break apart. Miranda gives me a smile which repulses me. I look into her eyes and wonder what the hell I ever saw in this woman. She’s only worried about status, money, and having a doctor for a husband, very superficial and not at all redeeming qualities. Definitely not the qualities I want in the woman I intend to love and spend the rest of my life with. Miranda is the complete opposite of Gracie.
God… Gracie…
It suddenly hits me in this moment that I’m outrageously head over heels in love with Gracie.

I snap out of my thoughts of Gracie and push Miranda completely away from me. Her arms fall from my neck and I bring my hand up and wipe it over my mouth, my lips feel tainted. “Fuck, Miranda, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s over between us? It’s been two years for fuck’s sake!”

Her eyes spark with anger and glare into mine “Well… I was wrong then, Cole! I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I still love you and we… we belong together; we’re the same.”

I cannot believe this woman. “No, Miranda, we’re NOT the same. You left me because you thought you had a chance with that neurosurgeon. You weren’t worried about how I would feel or if I loved you. That didn’t work out, so now you’ve decided you want me again… understand me, it’s not, I repeat,
not
going to happen. WE. ARE. DONE!”

Unbelievably, she reaches for me again. “I know you still love me, Cole…”

I cut her off. “No, Miranda, I don’t love you; I really don’t. I’m in love with Gracie.”

Miranda’s mouth gapes open. I almost laugh at the look of shock on her face. “What? Seriously, Cole? You’re a doctor and she works in an auto repair shop. She is nowhere nearly good enough for you… Her father is a mechanic for goodness sake!” She screams.

I just stare at her.
I really have NO idea what I ever saw in her. She’s so fucking materialistic, stuck up, overbearing, and I can’t stand anything about her
. Before I can open my mouth and respond to her statement, the door to the lounge bursts open and Sam stalks in, his face consumed with anger.

“What the fuck, Cole?” He yells at me.