The Push: A Sequel to The Pull (4 page)

“What?” she asked.

“Just come with us back to my parents’ house for a little bit. You can grab a shower and eat some more. Then I’ll drive you back down here for the night. What do you say?”

“No,” she stated bluntly. “I can’t leave him, Shane. I just…can’t. Thank you for the offer, but if he wakes up, I would never forgive myself if I wasn’t here.”

I saw the sternness in her eyes. There was no way I was going to convince her. “Okay,” I whispered. “Call me if anything happens. That means you have to actually turn on your phone,” I teased. “I’m going to take my parents home and come directly back down here.” I kissed her on the head and glanced at my brother. “Don’t forget to eat. You have a baby to think about,” I reminded her.

She nodded and turned to sit back down next to Darin. I exited the room and saw my parents waiting for me beside a window. I put my finger up in the air gesturing for one more minute. I turned the opposite way down the hall and reached for my cell phone. I needed to hear Gwen’s voice. My insides were twisting within me. I watched the ICU doors slide open, then walked through.

“Hey, Shane,” I heard her finally say after the fourth ring. “How’s your brother?”

My heart ached to see her. It hadn’t even been that long but being this far away from her in miles made it that much more difficult. “Not real good. The doctor didn’t sound too optimistic.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened with him?” Gwen asked. Her voice was hushed, which meant she was at work. I knew she didn’t like being disturbed at work, but for me, she’d picked up. That really meant something.

I sighed and put my free hand on my hip. “His heart. Something about a misshaped artery. They went in to repair it, but he had a heart attack and he just isn’t recovering like he should be.”

“And your parents? How are they holding up?”

I turned around to stare at the ICU doors. They opened and out came my parents. They were watching me, impatiently I was sure. “Mom’s worried of course, but I’m not getting much emotion from them. Nothing new there, though. It’s Livvy I’m worried about. She’s not taking care of herself, and I doubt she’s going to without me hovering over her.”

“Well, then, it’s a good thing you’re there to help take care of everybody.”

I closed my eyes for a moment. “Gwen…”

“I’m here, Shane.”

There was that awful pain again stabbing me right between the ribs. This woman was so caring it was almost surreal. “I know it’s a long shot, but…any way at all you can come out here? I could really use you by my side right now.”

“Shane…”

“I know you can’t, but I just thought I’d ask one more time.”

“I feel terrible not being able to be there with you,” she whispered.

“No, no,” I said quickly. “Don’t worry about it. I know you have a business to run. I feel like an ass for even asking. I’ll be back in your arms before you know it.”

There was a moment’s silence on the other end. “I
really
wish I could be there with you. Please send my love to everyone.”

“Yeah, I will.”

And she hung up. I knew there were probably a hundred people around her listening to her conversation. She was never alone and always so busy when working. It hadn’t been fair of me to ask, but I couldn’t help it. It felt as if part of me was missing without her around. I put the phone back in my pocket and walked back to where my parents were now standing, anxious to get them back home so I could focus on whatever it was that I could do to get my brother back to health again.

FOUR

Livvy

It seemed like hours before Shane returned to the hospital. I just sat there watching and waiting for something miraculous to happen to Darin. The nurses constantly came in and out, different ones as they changed shifts, coming to check on my husband’s vitals only to tell me nothing had changed.

I needed a shower—badly. I felt so grimy, but I didn’t have a vehicle at the hospital, and it’s not like I wanted to leave even if I could. Shane had tried to convince me to come back to my in-laws’, but I had to stay with Darin. My legs were glued to this floor, only leaving for a few moments at a time to get some water or go to the bathroom.

I felt numb and extremely impatient. My thoughts kept going back to how things had been reversed before. I was the one lying there in the hospital bed not waking up, and Darin had been here by my side. How very difficult this was for anyone knowing your entire life was wrapped up in the what-ifs, all the while praying and making deals with the man above for some miracle to happen so that you can have love and happiness within your grasps again.

I had had some of the best months of my life lately. Darin and I had renewed our vows. We were still living in that development but were making plans to get the house ready to sell soon so that we could buy a place with a little land for our little one to play on. We’d just been to the doctor’s and had a sonogram determining the sex was a boy. Darin had been thrilled, rambling off all the things he was going to teach him and all the sports they could go see together. Perfection. My life had truly grown back to perfection, and now my poor Darin was fighting an internal battle trying to come back to me and our son. It was torturous to have to sit here and wait for the unknown, and every time I felt that torture and wanted to scream out, I had to remember that Darin had been through the same hell. He’d gone through various stages of depression and found comfort in Violet. Just thinking about that woman made my skin crawl. But I understood why it had happened, I did. Violet didn’t matter in the scheme of things anyway. She meant nothing. She wasn’t here, and I was. That said it all.

“Nothing’s changed with him then?”

I turned to see Shane enter the room. He didn’t look as cheerful as before. Even his voice was full of melancholy. “No.”

He took a seat next to me and folded his hands between his nose and mouth while studying Darin. “Yeah, I figured as much since you didn’t call.”

I knew Shane was feeling the same exact impatience for his brother as I was.

“Have you eaten since breakfast?” he finally asked.

Always being the brother I never had and looking out for me. “No.”

“Livvy, you have to take care of yourself. You are pregnant for god’s sake,” Shane practically yelled.

I sighed. “Listen, Shane, I’m not looking for a lecture right now. I’ve been drinking water, and I’m fine. I’ll get some dinner in a little bit, but I’m fine. I’m staying here and that’s that.”

Shane growled in frustration. I didn’t respond to his outburst. He was more angry at the situation at hand than at me anyway and just needed to aim his irritation at someone other than his brother right now. I was sure the ride back with his parents hadn’t helped either. Neither brother had a very great bond with either parent.

“How are you and Gwen?” I questioned him, wanting to take my mind off of Darin for a moment—if that was at all possible.

Shane bent his neck from side to side trying to crack it. “She’s pretty amazing, I have to admit.”

“Wow, spoken from the player himself.”

“Player? Now, that’s a little harsh, Liv, don’t you think?” He cracked a grin, his tension leaving him briefly. “I do believe those days are done. This girl has everything and more.”

I was happy to hear this. Shane was a great man and deserved a great woman. He’d always had a wild side as if not wanting to settle down, wanting to travel and do his own thing. I wasn’t sure he’d ever meet his match, but it seemed as if he had. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet her. You’re going to love her.”

“I’m sure I will.” I stared down at the floor for a few minutes. Then I heard a soft moan and my eyes shot up to the bed.

“Did you hear that?” Shane asked. He, too, was almost jumping out of his seat in anticipation.

I stared at Darin. Had he made that noise? My heart leapt for joy at the sheer hope that noise had brought. Then very slowly his eyelids began to flutter and his jaw muscles clenched. I wanted to jump on top of him and hug him, but I settled for standing and reaching for his hand instead.

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Darin

It seemed as if every part of my body was in pain. Even breathing hurt like hell. I tried to open my eyes, but then the drowsiness hit me again like a wave and knocked me back under.

“I think he’s waking up!” I heard a voice say. Livvy. It was definitely Livvy’s voice. That was enough to help me fight through how tired I felt. My eyes snapped open. Things were blurry at first, then cleared as I focused on the most beautiful face before me—my wife.

“Oh, Darin!” she cried out, sobbing and burying her head in my arm.

I wanted to sit up, but there was no way that was happening. I then realized the drowsiness I felt was weakness. I felt as if a truck had run over me—twice. I blinked a few times, trying to lift my arm to touch Livvy’s soft hair, but even that seemed impossible. What the hell had happened to me?

Cords were connected to me and machines buzzed in the background. Then I looked up and saw Shane’s face appear in my field of vision. He smirked that shitty grin of his. “Welcome back, brother,” he told me.

A hospital. That’s where I was, but why? I struggled to remember anything that happened, but I couldn’t. Nothing was making any sense right now. My chest hurt so badly along with my head, and I felt dizzy even though I was lying down.

“Well, those are the two best faces a man could wake up to,” I managed to whisper. My voice sounded raspy and hushed.

Livvy sobbed harder at my words.

“Mr. Thorne, we’re so glad to see you’ve woken up,” a nurse stated as she started to mess with my IV and machines. “You probably feel extremely weak, is that right?”

I blinked hard. “Yes.” Even speaking was burdensome right now.

“I don’t want to startle you,” the nurse continued. “But you’ve had a heart attack. You had to have surgery and lots of meds, and you’re in the ICU right now.”

I tried to absorb all of this information. A heart attack? Was she freaking kidding me? Then I remembered. I’d been in the kitchen with Livvy, and I had felt a stabbing pain in the center of my chest. A heart attack. Holy shit. “What kind of surgery?” I managed to ask very slowly.

“To fix the defect of your artery. Please don’t try to move or talk too much. I’m going to go page the doctor and let him know you’re conscious. I’ll let you spend a few minutes with your family here.” She gave me a warm smile before disappearing out the door.

“Livvy,” I whispered. “Give me your hand.”

I felt her intertwine her fingers in mine. Both she and Shane were leaning over me, anxiously watching me.

“Tell me what happened.” I closed my eyes for a second, but realized when I did that the weakness tried to overtake me again back into slumber. I needed to know what was going on before I allowed myself to fall back asleep again.

Livvy whisked her tears away. “We were in the kitchen…”

“I remember having chest pain,” I told her. “What’s going on with my heart?”

“Some sort of defect, the shape of it or something like that. You’ve had it since birth, and they went in and repaired it, but they had to bring you back to life twice.”

“I didn’t see the light,” I commented dryly.

“The light?” Livvy’s eyes shifted to Shane.

“Yeah,” I continued. “You know, to show the way to Heaven.”

“Ugh,” Livvy growled chuckling.

“Glad to see he still has his sense of humor,” Shane remarked.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, concern evident in her eyes.

God I loved that woman. “Like shit.”

Shane burst out laughing. “I would hope so.”

“Do your job, Shane, go see if you can get me some more pain meds.” My voice was still so raspy, my throat feeling raw.

“Your parents were here,” Livvy told me.

“I took them home already,” Shane added. “I’m going to go give them a call and let them know you’re awake and try to get you some morphine or something while I’m at it.”

“Good boy,” I said, licking my dry lips. My fingers squeezed Livvy’s. “Come here.”

Her hair was wild and crazy. She looked like she hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep. Man, was she ever beautiful looking like that, and the best part was she had no idea. “I’m here,” she whispered, her voice choking a little.

“No more crying,” I instructed her. “Come closer. Put my hand on your stomach.”

I watched her swallow, then lean forward, placing my palm against her belly.

“Everything will be okay,” I assured her.

She nodded her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I love you, you know,” I whispered.

She nodded again. “Oh, Darin, I love you too.” Livvy buried her face down against my arm again, her fingers finding mine and sliding into place once again. “I’m just so glad you’re back. I was just so afraid…”

“Shhh,” I hushed her. Every time I spoke it felt like my chest was splitting open. A wave of dizziness washed over me, forcing me to close my eyes.

“Darin? Are you okay?”

I felt Livvy’s body move backward.

“Yeah.” I was struggling to breathe. “I’m just…tired. I feel dizzy.” I didn’t want to scare Liv anymore, but I felt very strange, as if I could pass out, and the feeling was only getting stronger.

“Shane will be back soon with a nurse, and the doctor will be right in,” Livvy said quickly.

I kept my eyes shut. I thought the room would spin if I tried to open them, and I couldn’t dry heave now, not with my chest feeling so tight. I was sure it would split right open if I had to make any sudden jerking movements. Then a sharp pain stabbed me right in the center of the chest. It was exactly like the pain I’d had before only ten times as worse. It was as if I were being strangled from the inside out. I tried to scream out, but no sound would come as my entire body clenched in tension from the severity of the pain.

“Darin!” I heard Livvy shriek.

I couldn’t catch my breath. It felt like a thousand bricks were on top of me pinning me down. I couldn’t do anything but lie there completely helpless to whatever was going on with my heart.

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Livvy

It was pure chaos. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good. One minute Darin was speaking, the next, he seemed as if he were in agonizing pain. The heart monitor flat-lined and a team of nurses and doctors came rushing into the room.

“What happened?” someone asked.

“Looks like he’s had another MI,” another one said.

“Get the paddles ready.”

“Ma’am, we’re going to need you to leave,” a nurse said directly to me.

My fingers were still intertwined with Darin’s. Tears streamed down my cheeks. “No. He’s my husband. He was fine a minute ago.”

“Ma’am, please, we need you to step outside,” she insisted with urgency.

No, I wouldn’t leave him. I refused. I clamped my hand down tighter around his. They were getting the paddles out, ready to shock him back to life. The monitor was still sounding that awful buzzing noise alarming everyone that Darin had no heartbeat.

“Get her out of here!” a man yelled out.

Two people were holding my arms pushing me backward in a firm yet gentle manner. I was losing my grasp on Darin’s hand. “No!” I cried out. They couldn’t tear me away from him. He needed me. Finally, my fingers were forced to let go of him, and I screamed out in anguish as they pulled me from the room and into the hallway, shutting the door behind them as they went back inside. I let my back slide down the wall as I curled into a ball on the floor and sobbed. I was pretty sure I was screaming at the same time, but I couldn’t even tell. I was oblivious to the noises around me. I just wanted Darin to be all right.

I didn’t know how many minutes went by. All I knew was that I still had my hands covering my face as I sat on the floor, and someone wrapped their arms around me. Shane.

“Shhh, Livvy, Livvy, it’s me, it’s me. It’s okay. It’s okay, Liv. Listen, it’s okay,” he mumbled into my ear.

I allowed him to help me stand up again. I looked at his face and then toward Darin’s door. No one had come out yet. I threw myself against Shane and sobbed into his neck. “I think he’s gone, Shane! I think Darin’s gone!”

He rubbed his hand furiously up and down my back trying to comfort me. He didn’t say anything more, just held me and let me grieve, my tears soaking his shirt.