The Perfect Candidate (37 page)

“What else did he say?” Ashley asked, if possible, her cheeks were burning an even deeper red than they had been before.

“Ugh- nothing really,” Michael admitted.  He wasn’
t sure that he wanted to confess that he hadn
’
t exactly stayed around for long enough to hear anything else that Norman might have had to say- he didn
’
t want to confess it until he knew why Ashley had been crying at least.

“Well, I guess- I guess the pressure of the campaign just got to me a little,” Ashley laughed weakly.  Michael didn’
t join her.

“Are you sure that’
s all it was?
”
he pressed,
needing
to know the answer. 
“
Ash?  Please tell me?
”
he begged, wondering if maybe- just maybe, he shouldn
’
t just say, “to hell with all!” and straight out ask her if she wanted to marry him for real.  He didn
’
t get that chance however, because Ashley had finally decided to explain herself.

“I was just wondering-” she paused to lick her lips.  “What’
s going to happen to me afterwards, Michael?
”
she asked quietly.

Michael frowned, not entirely sure that he grasped her meaning, and then it slowly sank in, and with it the harsh disappointment of reality.  She didn
’
t care about
him
at all. 
“
You mean with your career?
”
he asked numbly.

Ashley hesitated for a second, and Michael almost thought she was going to disagree with him, but then she nodded her head, and sighed. 
“
Yes, with my career?
”

“You could go and work for the other side,” Michael tried to joke, but it came out sounding bitter and hurt, and Ashley didn’
t look in the least amused.

“But I wanted to- to work for you!” she wailed, and then she caught Michael by surprise by throwing her arms around his neck.  It wasn’
t exactly what he wanted to hear.  He wanted to hear her say that she wanted to be his
wife
, after all, but it was a little more than he had been expecting, especially after her last confession?

“I guess we didn’
t think through the consequences of all of this too well, did we?
”
he sighed heavily.  He certainly hadn
’
t reckoned on losing his heart
.

Ashley mustered a small, shaky smile. 
“
I guess not,
”
she laughed unsteadily. 
“
Oh Michael,
”
she whispered, toying with his tie. 
“
I wish-
”

Michael held his breath and waited to hear what Ashley would say next.  He
knew
he was a fool for getting his hopes again, but he couldn
’
t stop himself.  He didn
’
t hear anything that he wanted to however; he didn
’
t hear anything at all, because Ashley made a lunge for his mouth.

As avoidance tactics went, this was one of the best
…
Ashley thought to herself, as she slipped her tongue into Michael
’
s mouth.  She needed him distracted.  She needed him to stop asking questions!

“Ash,” he growled, gasping for breath, but Ashley wasn’
t about to give up.  If he pushed her very much further she was going to confess everything to him!  And somehow she didn
’
t think that telling Michael that she was in love with him would be the wisest of moves
.

“Please?” she panted, pushing him down onto the mattress.  “Make love to me, Michael?” she urged desperately, whispered the words against his skin.  Maybe he would realize… maybe her body would be able to communicate what she was too afraid to say?  For all the good it would do… “You promised…” she puffed, reminding him of their earlier encounter in his office.

“Is this really what you want?” Michael growled.  There was something in his voice that Ashley didn’
t understand.

“I want you,” she nodded breathlessly, willing him to realize that she meant more- so much more than just the sex.

“I want you too,” he sighed.  He looked so sad.  Ashley cupped Michael’
s cheek in her palm, asking him with her eyes what the matter was. He kept that secret to himself however, devouring her with a fiery kiss that banished any thoughts of after.  Here and now, and what was happening between them was all that mattered
.

He was so much gentler than usual. Ashley didn
’
t realize the difference at first, only that it didn
’
t feel like their normal, frantic, couplings.  It didn
’
t feel bad, just different, but when she
did
finally manage to put her finger on the change it was almost enough to bring tears to her eyes
.

He was saying goodbye
.

Ashley clutched at Michael, dragging him closer, as they undressed one another, exploring each other
’
s bodies with a new reverence.  Ashley wanted to remember everything
…
she wanted to be able to close her eyes when Michael was gone and be able to summon the image of his body moving over her
…
inside her.

“You’
re so beautiful,
”
he rasped, speaking the words against the shell of her ear as he slowly buried himself between her legs.  Ashley could only moan and arch her back into the mattress.  She always went a little mindless when Michael was inside her- stretching her, possessing her in a way no other man ever had
.

“Don’
t stop!
”
she panted, squeezing her eyes shut as he started to move. 
Don
’
t ever stop
…

They lay together for ages afterwards, simply savouring the closeness that they would never share again.  When Michael finally made himself leave, Ashley didn
’
t tell him that she wouldn
’
t be coming into work the following day, or the one after that, or the one after that- she had decided to work from home for the last few days before the wedding, she hoped it would be easier for her if she didn
’
t have to see him every day- but although she didn
’
t say anything, something about Michael
’
s demeanor told her that he knew this was really the end.

30

The days that led up to the wedding past in a strange hazy blur for Ashley.  Sometimes she felt like time was rushing by, and at other times it seemed to have stopped dead.  She thought about Michael far more than was healthy
…
but she just couldn
’
t help herself!  What else was there to think about anyway?  She sent him one finally speech
…
the one he would have to give after she had jilted her
…
and then, as Norm was taking care of
everything
, all she had to do was relive every moment of their affair.

Ashley
’
s parents arrived the night before the wedding (she had refused to have a hen night).  There was no way for her to keep them away.  She wished that she didn
’
t have to embroil them in the lie though.  They found it strange that Michael hadn
’
t come to meet them (Ashley imagined that he
would
have had she asked him to), but they were very understanding, and actually made excuses for him and his hectic schedule. 

She could see that they were a little star-struck at the thought of having such a prominent public figure as their son-in-law.  They were going to be so disappointed when they never even got to meet him
.

Despite all of her fears to the contrary, Ashley slept like a baby the night before the wedding.  Her mother had to come into her bedroom and nudge her awake to endure that she didn
’
t oversleep!

“Come on sleepyhead!” she cooed happily.  “Rise and shine.  You have a
big
day ahead of you!
”

Ashley groaned, and tried to pull the covers back over her head, but her mother whipped them away, and produced a breakfast tray, laden with all of the delicious foods that Ashley had loved as a child.

“Mom,” Ashley said weakly, tearing up at the gesture.

“Oh, don’
t you start that, you
’
ll have me going!
”
Mrs. Kendall scolded her daughter, as she dabbed at her eyes with the corner of the apron she was wearing. 
“
This is going to be the happiest day of your life, Ashley,
and
one of the most tiring,
”
she said with feeling. 
“
So you need to eat something now to keep your strength up.  Lord knows you won
’
t snatch another bite to eat all day!
”

“I’
m not hungry, Mom,
”
Ashley said softly.  In all honesty she felt rather sick!  She didn
’
t have a clue how she was going to get through the day
…
and the thought of Michael
…
waiting for her at the church, being humiliated in front of all of those people- the whole world
…
!

“I know, you’
re excited, but please, just a few bites?
”
Mrs. Kendall urged, smiling encouragingly. 
“
I
’
ll run you a bath, and then we need to start on your hair, and your make up, and your dress, and oh!  I need to organize your father, because you know he can
’
t be trusted, and then there
’
s-
”
she walked off still muttering to herself.