The Lonely Girl (19 page)

“Yes, dear brother. Oh. I am not only in love with your asshat of a roommate but my best friend, as well, which is totally screwed up. So no I’m not coming home. Not anytime soon. I’ll be home when I have to
be home. To which I mean my dorm alone. Please tell Keegan and Jake I no longer need a bed buddy. This girl is taking the bull by the horns and doing her own shit. Which starts now and I promise to check in. Love you.” I hang up before he can argue with me.

I look to Charlotte, tears running down my face. I send my mom a quick text from Charlotte’s phone telling her I’m safe. I look to Charlotte, and she smiles. “So what the hell are we going to do in Amsterdam?”

I laugh and shake my head. “I have no idea, it was the first flight out and so I took it.” She grabs my arms and hauls me to my feet.

“
Well, let’s go see what trouble we can get into then shall we?” I giggle linking my arm with her. This is exactly what I needed.

Chapter 17

I have been in Amsterdam for a total of six days, and I still don’t want to go home. I turned on my phone today. It took me hours to read all the messages.

Jake: 
Becca I don’t know what happened but you need to call me.

Please you
’re scaring me baby. I know you don’t drive. Answer your phone.

There are about ten more like that before I had answered my phone and told him I love him. I told him not to come find me and these were the messages that had me the most upset.

What do you mean don’t come looking for you. Don’t do anything stupid.

Becca we need to talk about what you said. You shouldn’t have run away.

I’m so sorry Becca. I didn’t mean to hurt you please come home.

I’m your best friend remember just tell me where you are I’ll come to you.

Each message is like a stab in my chest, none of them say that he loves me, or that he feels the same way. I ruined it by letting my stupid feelings get in the way.

I only had one message from Keegan:

Baby I am so sorry. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s all I got. I was stupid drunk and I probably didn’t even know where I was. As much as I hate to have to say this to you I don’t remember much of that night. Sarah and I had a thing for over a year, it was like second nature for it to be her name. I was too drunk. I should have never gotten like that or had sex with you. I love you and I’m waiting for you when you get home to me.

That sent a different stir of emotions through me. First off, my brother told me it was a summer fling, but apparently, it had been going on for a year or more. Secondly, he doesn’t remember,
and he wishes he hadn’t had sex with me. Great reaction to my first time. Thanks, Keegan.

Charlotte didn’t know what to say. She told me to continue to check in with Alec, who was getting more frustrated each day I was gone. He called me yesterday demanding to know where I was. Jake even called Charlotte and begged to know where I was. Her response was that he was the idiot who didn’t realize I was in love with him and let me move on with a smug
jackass who said the wrong woman’s name while I was with him. So no she wouldn’t help him further crush my heart. She constantly asked me who I loved more and wanted to be with. The truth was I didn’t know. Keegan has time and time again hurt me. But then Jake has always been there. He has never seemed interested in being more than friends. He told me he saw me as his little sister. If that’s not a blow to my heart, I don’t know what is.

On day ten, my mom called me. “Hey Mom. I’m fine and I promise to be home by this school time Monday.”

She doesn’t speak for a minute. “Rebecca.”

Oh shit! “
Mom, what’s wrong?”

Oh no please hopefully no one is hurt.

“Becca, I need you on the first flight home to Thunder Bay and I don’t want an argument.” I shake my head something is very wrong.

“Mom, what’s happened?” I’ve got tears, and I don’t even know what she’s said yet.

“You are to be on the next flight. I got a call from the police and it seems Dillon attacked a girl that looks just like you at Western. He has fled and they can’t find him. They searched his home and found pictures of you at school and maps of the campus. I want you home now, but you have school. Your father is going to meet you there in a few days and I’m heading there tomorrow night. I already spoke to the boys and they will be there to get you and you are not to leave them. I know you’ve got a lot to work out but sweetheart Dillon is going to be after you.” I hear her crying. “I’d tell you stay with Charlotte because I know you’re in another country but we have no idea if he’s left already or not. I need to see you in one piece.”

I sit for a minute. Charlotte is pale white. I had put my phone on speaker so she could hear everything. “Auntie, maybe I should come too?”

My mom practically yells, “NO! Sweetheart, I’d love to see you and I know you’re planning to come out here in September but please wait until he’s been caught. The second he is you can join us out here.”

Charlotte had decided and applied to Lakehead. She was accepted, which she told me when we got to Amsterdam. This made my transfer schools option go down the drain. But at least I’d have Charlotte.

“Mom I’ll be on the next plane out I promise.” She’s got the hiccups which means she’s in a heavy cry for my mom anyway.

“I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too, Mom.” I hang up and turn to Charlotte.

“Oh love, what are you going to do.”

I sigh because I know what I’m about to say is true. “I’m going to go home and wait for him to find me.”

I said my goodbyes to Charlotte, and I tell her I will see her soon. I head through security. Charlotte is heading home to start packing as she is going to stay in my brother’s house in my room and get acquainted with the campus. If we all stay for the summer, she may even take some classes, although she agrees a trip might be just what we need. When I got to my departure gate, I still had some time. I decide to call Alec, but he never picked up. I called Jake, who picked up on the first ring.

“Beckers, thank God. Are you coming home? Your mom called us and your brother is freaking out.” No, I love you or I miss you. I know with that being my first thought means I’m in trouble. I have feelings for two men just what I need.

“
Yes, Jake. I will be getting on my plane in fifteen minutes.” I wish I was taking a plane to anywhere else. For a minute, I even think of buying another ticket and just disappearing, but my mom would have a heart attack.

“Becca
, we should talk.” I never want to hear those words again.

“No, Jake. I don’t want to talk about it, okay. I know you’ve all been put on babysitting
duty, but no talking. Make sure Keegan knows that I have enough shit in my life I don’t want anymore. If he wants to get all emotional or kissy-kissy tell him to call Sarah and as for you well you can call Kristy.” Ouch, that one was a tad harsh, but I’m in emotional overload. “I’m sorry. I know that’s unkind but I just can’t take anymore right now. Please just understand that.” I hear him sigh into his phone. I hate being like this with Jake, but over the last ten days, I’ve thought about it. I don’t think I can be friends with Jake anymore. Not with the feelings I have for him and definitely not if I want to make things work with Keegan.

“Becca, I understand but we will talk about this eventually and you can’t just run away.” I’m not going to argue that I’m a grown up and can do whatever the hell I want. He will just piss me off and I will end up somewhere like Japan hiding from my whole family.

“Fine just meet me outside my gate. When we talk about this it will be on my terms and when I am ready to talk about it, if not I make no promises of not running.” I hear them calling my flight. “Jake, they’re announcing my flight I’ve got to go now. Goodbye.” I hang up and turn off my phone before I can get any more stress from this blasted thing.

I get to my seat and laugh. My mom booked me First Class, and I have no neighbour
next to me. At least, I won’t be bothered.  Talking to Jake was so difficult. I realize I chose to call him before Keegan, and I wonder what that means. Does it mean I love him more or does it mean I’m too mad at Keegan to hear his voice? They announce we are ready for takeoff, and I pop some gum in my mouth to help with the ears.

I found myself time and time again wishing Jake was here. Unfortunately, the Jake I thought was in my life wasn’t. I was as shocked as he was to be so heartbroken by walking in on him. I know I can’t hate him for it because I did just have sex with my boyfriend, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t smash my heart wide open. I almost wish Charlotte wasn’t coming to Lakehead, so I could go somewhere else. Maybe I could talk her into it. But that wouldn’t be
fair, she’d never get to see Alec. So I’m stuck. I throw my head back and huff. How do I decide this shit? I mean Keegan and I have serious history, but I feel like he has feelings for Sarah. Actually, I know he does, I just don’t know if he loves me more. I put my eye covers on and sleep the rest of the flight.

******************************************

I walk out my terminal and standing right in front of me is Keegan and Jake. I look back and forth, but I can’t see Alec. “Where’s Alec?”

Jake sulks. “Well hello to you too. Have a nice vacation? Alec is at the police station making a report with them about everything that’s happened with Dillon
. It couldn’t wait so he sent us instead.” I look between them both.

“He sent both of you together?”

It’s Keegan that speaks now. “Yes, Becca he sent us together, what is that supposed to mean? We are friends and just ‘cause you’re all bent out of shape doesn’t mean that stops.” I raise my eyebrow, and he immediately looks to the floor.

“Let’s get something straight right now. I’m not bent out of shape. I’m betrayed. I don’t want to talk about it with either of you and that’s just how it’s going to be. I have one crazy man to deal with and that’s quite enough for me thank you. I know I want to go back to my dorm but I see that this will not go without argument. I do need to go to the dorm and pick up a few things though and that’s unavoidable. Now let’s get my bags and get out of here this is far too awkward and with my mother showing up later tonight I can’t exactly get drunk to solve my current issue.” I turn and stomp
off, leaving them both flabbergasted by my straight forward comments. I hear them both jogging to catch up clearly the words I said hit home with both of them.

The ride to the dorm wasn’t too bad. Other than Jake telling me my brother’s car has been picked up and now since I’ve driven my brother plans to get a car for me. I’m not even going to argue with this right now that was purely out of desperation. I’m not sure if I could ever do it again. We stop at the dorms, and I get out telling them both to wait there. I hear a door open, and Jake comes running
up behind me. “What part of stay there didn’t you get?”

I hear him chuckle, but I’m not entirely sure it’s friendly. “
Well, since I’m not a dog and since you’ve pointed out you’re a grown up that makes me one with me being older than you.” I try to hold back a smirk, but it doesn’t work. I look to Jake, and he’s smiling. Maybe things aren’t so end of the world with Jake.

Then I bang into someone. I turn and it’s Kristy and with that it all comes flooding back. By the red in her cheeks, she knows I walked in on them. I huff and move aside to continue walking to my door. I hear Kristy trying to talk to Jake. “Not
now, okay?”

I’m already at my door, and I open it. “I’m fine. Go talk to your girlfriend.” I shut the door in his face. I slide down the back of my door and tears flood my eyes. I have never cried as much as I have since coming to Thunder Bay. After a few minutes, I turn the light on and my mouth hits the floor.

My entire wall is covered in pictures of me.  From high school all the way to just before I left for Netherlands. Dillon has been in my room. Knock, knock. I scream because it startled me.

“Becca, what’s wrong
? Open up now.” I flick the lock and move away from the door. “What’s wrong, are you ok...? Oh my God!” He has full view of my now fully covered wall. I am immediately furious and climb onto my bed and start yanking them off.

Jake pulls me
into his arms with me kicking and screaming. “Shush baby, we can’t stay here we have to go to the police station. Alec’s there they need to see this and figure out how he got in here.”

I stop fighting, and he puts me down. I spin around and throw my arms around him sobbing. “Why won’t he just leave me alone?” Jake is stroking my hair all the way down my back trying to soothe me.

“I don’t know baby but until he’s caught you will not be out of my sight even though you hate me.” He thinks I hate him. I could never hate Jake.

“I don’t hate you but my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I could hate you. You’re right. We need to get out of here.” I turn to leave, and he locks the door behind us. He puts his arm over my shoulder, and I keep it together until we reach the parking lot where I begin bawling again.

“Jake, what the hell happened to her? Becca, babe, are you okay? Talk to me?” I shake my head.

“Key, Dillon has been in her dorm. He plastered pictures that he’s been taking of her all over her wall. He wasn’t
there, but we need to get her to the police station and to Alec.” He nods, but I can tell Keegan is looking at Jake’s arm on my shoulder. I wonder then if he knows about my feelings for Jake. How could he? My brother said he wouldn’t tell anyone. As we get in the car, Jake gets in the back with me, causing further glares in the rearview mirror from Keegan. I just turn my head. Jake pulls out his phone and calls Alec. He tells him all about my dorm room, and that I’m fine, but we are heading to the police station to see him. “He wants to talk to you, Becca.”