The Lonely Girl

The Lonely Girl

By: Gracie Wilson

The Lonely Girl is a work of Fiction.
Characters, names, incidents and places are used in a fictitious manner or are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2013 by Gracie Wilson

Cover Copyright © 2013 by Gracie Wilson

Edited by Kathy Krick

Cover design by Anya Kelleye Designs at AnyaKelleyeDesigns.com

Cover model is Paige Simone

All rights reserved.

Prologue

All I could see was darkness and the night seemed to go on forever. It was raining. There was so much rain that once in a while we would hit water lying on the road, and you could feel the tires lose their grip.

Michael and I were singing to our favourite song at the top of our lungs. That’s when we saw headlights
and nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen next.

I heard a horn sound. There was a screech and then a bang followed by a clash. I wish I had blacked out, and I wish I didn’t witness what I had.

I look over to see Michael, and my heart plummeted. I try to reach him, but my seatbelt won’t let me get to him. I try to get loose from it, but it’s stuck and my legs seem to be pinned. I look back to Michael to see blood coming from his mouth and head.
“Michael. Michael, can you hear me?” I cry. “Oh God, Michael!”
He groaned.
“Michael, open your eyes. Can you get out? I’m stuck.” I’m bawling by this point.

He turns his head and I see those deep green eyes shimmering at me. I try to pull myself together. I hear sirens. I start to think everything will be alright.  We are going to be alright.

Then Michael groans again, “Bec.”

At that moment, I see t
hose beautiful eyes that I have loved my entire life close… for the final time.

Chapter One

“Bec. Bec. Please don’t leave me.”

I wake up screaming like I have for the last eight months. It was just a dream. No, not a dream a nightmare. A horrible nightmare.  A dream would be seeing Michael and not having to relive the worst night of my life every
time I go to sleep. I may have been lucky enough to have been pried out of that car, but a part of me died that night with Michael Marcus. Michael was the first one to call me Bec. When he died in the accident, Bec died too.  That’s when I became Becca or Rebecca.

I look down and see my scar right above my hip. The scar is a reminder this is real, and this is my life now. He’s gone, and I’m not. In fact, I have lost the one guy I ever loved, and my best friend.

I look around my room and see my new self. I used to have walls covered in pictures of Alec and Michael and my friends. I had pictures of all my favourite artists, actors, and characters from all my shows. Now you look around and there are only my sketches. Each one darker than the next and a true likeness to what my life is like. My favourite piece on my wall is a black and white oil painting I did. It is a broken mirror with the girl’s reflection in it. Her head is looking down so you can’t see her face, but you can see the tears coming down her face. My brother always asked about it. I would give him some excuse that it was just creative expression and was not based on anything. The reality is that it was an internalization of how I feel about my life and my reflection.

“Bec...ca,” my brother
, Alec whispers from behind my door. No one calls me Bec anymore, not even Alec. I’m surprised he’s still here. He should be a few hours into his trip back to school by now. “Can I come in Becca?”
“Yes, Alec, you may come in.” I don’t mean to sneer when I say it, but I did anyway. He can tell by my tone I’m not in the mood, and he’s gonna have to walk on eggshells with me this morning.

“Bec...ca. Becca. Are you okay? Did you have another bad dream?” He says
it with such pity I want to burst into tears. When will he stop looking at me like I’ve been broken into a million pieces?

When I woke up in the hospital
after the accident, I went a bit crazy after they told me that Michael, who was my boyfriend and also my brother’s best friend, had died in the accident. Everyone was so distraught that they lost Michael and then to make matters worse, they lost part of me too. I’m not the same girl I was eight months ago. I won’t ever be her again.

“Alec, it’s
fine. I’m used to it by now.”

I can see by the look in
his eyes, he wants to say more. I’ll give him a break because he looks so hopeless.

I wish Alec could be happy again. I know my brother worries about me, but I still feel like he needs to move on and just leave me behind. He’d be better off. I will forever just be me, and I’m damaged
beyond repair now.

Alec
is a handsome guy, with sandy blonde hair and emerald green eyes like my dad. He’s got an athletic build, but he works for that. My brother is an amazing hockey player and plays for his university team. All my friends tell me how they want to ‘date’ my brother.

I get up and go to my brother who is now a statue
at the end of my bed and hug him. “Alec, I love you. What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving to go back to school early today.” Whatever Alec is doing here I know I will hate.

“I spoke to Mom and Dad. They are going to let me take you to
Thunder Bay to tour the campus at Lakehead and show you around so you can decide if you want to join me in the fall,” he said, but his eyes say he doesn’t want to leave me alone.

Today would have been four years for Michael and me. This is the time he wants me to go. Am I not allowed to sulk and grieve in the freedom of my own bedroom? I just want to be left alone.

“I told Dad I wasn’t sure if going to Lakehead was still what I wanted, so much has changed since then don’t you think?” I whisper.

I know it’s harsh, but what does he expect? That was where Michael and
Bec had planned to go, but I’m not that Bec anymore. She’s gone, and what’s left is just a shell of the person I once was. I know that’s not healthy, but it is what it is.

“Becca, please just let me take you there and show you around and if you don’t like
it, then I promise I’ll drop it and I’ll talk to mom too.” He gives me that look. He knows I can’t say no to it. It’s the same look that says he will talk to our mom. Why does he have to have this power over me? This is the last thing I need today. It’s going to be a hard enough few days for me.

“Are we driving? Because if we are, then it’s a no.” I try to laugh, but it still comes out awkward. It’s a good fifteen hour drive to Thunder Bay from here.

“Nah, I’m going to leave my car here and we will fly.  I’ll be home in a few weeks I figured you could use it... Maybe.”

I interrupt him, this I won’t budge on. “Alec, no I’m not ready.”  He suddenly looks so sad. “But I can’t wait to see Lakehead for a few days.” I plaster on the biggest smile I can without looking too fake. His eyes brighten so I must have been somewhat successful.

Just then my phone beeps. I grab it, but I know who it is already by the beep. It’s Dillon. Everyone else has fallen away or graduated since Michael’s death. I didn’t mind though, I really do just want to be alone with my memories.

“Is that the asshat?”
Alec looks so rigid.

My brother wanted me to start over. He told me time and time again that Michael would want me to be happy. So when I started seeing Dillon, I thought he’d be happy, but he was furious.
Alec warned me that girls had talked about Dillon, and his relationship skills weren’t classed as stellar. He was selfish and had a horrid attitude. What did surprise me was that Michael and he had some sort of history. I told him to shut up and stop telling me how to live my life. When I did, he looked like he was trying to tell me something but just couldn’t get it out. He wanted me to date, and that’s what I was doing.

Dillon is the complete opposite of Michael in almost every way. Where Michael had deep green eyes, Dillon has dark
, muddy brown eyes.  Michael had light blonde hair, and Dillon has jet black hair. Only a few inches in height difference though. Dillon has a lean body type whereas Michael was athletic. Dillon only plays football, and he isn’t anywhere near the athlete that Michael was. Michael played all sports, but soccer was our thing that we used to do together. Well, it was Bec’s thing. I haven’t played in eight months.

“Yup, he wants to meet after school but I told him I’m busy.” I send him a quick text back saying that I can’t, and I’m heading to Lakehead with my brother for a few days. I quickly turn my phone off before he can blast it with messages.  I need to get out of here before he shows up to talk me out of this.

“You told him you’re leaving with me today?” He looks at me strange. I wonder if he knows about Dillon and his need to control things.

“Sure did.”
I get up and start packing my suitcase. He’s still watching me. “Let’s go.”

                           ******************************************

My mom’s face was cheerful as she hugged me goodbye at the airport and told me to have fun. She said she knows I’ll love it. Bec maybe, but I’m not sure if Becca will love it. This trip was supposed to happen with Michael.  My mom isn’t a bad mother. She just doesn’t understand why I can’t be the girl who got in the car that night. I just want to go somewhere, anywhere that no one knows me or my story. Is that too much to ask?

They announce we will be starting our descent. I look at my brother who is snoring.
God, he can sleep through anything. This is just a little plane, it’s bumpy and loud. How is he sleeping? When we bump the tarmac my snoring brother finally has risen.  “Oh, what are we there?” He grumbled.

“
Yes, I don’t know how you slept through that.”

When they told us to collect our things, my brother just stop
s and looks at me. I can tell by his face, he wants to say something, but he’s scared about my reaction.

“What Alec?”

“Nothing I’m just so glad you’re here, Becca. You belong here with me and I’m going to show you that.” He looks so torn.

We exit the plane and go down the stairs.
However, they don’t go into the airport. We actually walk onto the tarmac. I hear someone yelling, “Alec.” I look over and see a tall guy on the other side of the fence waving at him.

“Alec, who’s that?” I murmur to him like the guy could hear us. He obviously can’t with the racket going on.

“Oh great our ride’s here, that’s my roommate, Keegan, I’ve told you about him.”

“Oh.” That’s all I can say. He has told me about him, but I didn’t expect him to look like this. He’s
still somewhat out of sight, however, I already know he’s gorgeous.

We start on our way. We grab our bags and get through security. I see
Keegan waving at us as we get through the glass. He’s striking. This is odd, not that he’s attractive, but that I noticed it. He plays hockey with my brother, and if I remember correctly, he’s the goalie. He has an athletic build, with shaggy, dirty blonde hair that looks like he just crawled out of bed, but wow, is it hot. God, I love hockey hair. I wonder if he did just crawl out of bed. He’s very tall even more so than my brother, who is just over six feet tall.  His eyes are crystal blue, and they make my body want to gravitate towards him. I stop as soon as those eyes lock on me, and I hold my breath.

“Keegan
, this is my sister Bec...ca.” Alec looks right at me apologetically.  “Becca, this is Keegan Keller.”

I’m staring at this point. Yes, I am completely staring like a complete idiot. All of a sudden, my feet are no longer on the ground, and I’m in a big bear hug well off the floor.  I look over Keegan’s shoulder, and I see my brother. He doesn’t know to laugh or to be worried that I might freak out being hugged.  So I do what he isn’t expecting, and I hug Keegan back.

“It’s nice to meet you, Keegan.” He slowly starts putting me down. I swear it takes forever, since he’s probably about 6’4” and I’m only  5’3”. I’d bet it’s an odd scene for Alec to witness because I’m letting someone who isn’t my him actually hug me. Wow, I’m not cringing like I do when Dillon does this.

“So let me take a look at you.”
Keegan looks right at me. Yeah, I am definitely blushing. “Man, you said she was a pretty but I don’t think you did her justice.” He winks at me.

Oh God, if it wasn’t obvious, I was blushing before it sure is now. What is happening? Why is he still staring at me? I’d say I’m about an average girl. I have strawberry blonde hair, with a bunch of freckles, and steel blue eyes. I’m short and
thin, but I’m not as muscular as I used to be since I stopped playing sports after Michael died.