The Laughing Assassin [Assassin's Diary] (Siren Publishing Classic) (19 page)

Somehow the man had wormed his way into her heart and her life, and everything was topsy-turvy until she couldn’t figure out up or down. She missed him, she hated him, she hated herself, she didn’t like him, and there was no way she could admit the truth.

Jaden wished the excessive emotions were only from the fog of chemistry. That the craving she had for him was only for his well-honed, albeit scarred flesh and what his all-knowing hands could mete out. But she knew the thought was nothing more than a gossamer lie she used to delude herself.

She could recall many evenings with Jonah these last weeks. They spent so much time wrapped into each other that it had to be apparent. Jaden knew that their easy camaraderie and fathomless rapport were noted by the other operatives. In fact, she and Jonah were an ongoing joke among the group, even as the team respected them. There was no way that even the blind could miss the looks that spanned any distance their bodies were physically apart. There was no way that she could hide the way her body gravitated toward his from people that were used to looking beyond the surface.

Even when they were in different spaces, somehow she would always look up and there he was, watching her with undiluted hunger. But even then, they tried to keep themselves apart until it was circumspect for them to be together. It just didn’t work. So far, they had been lucky that no one boldly called them out about the white elephant that seemed to suck the very oxygen from any room they occupied.

But there were nights where she and Jonah didn’t sleep, nights where they didn’t indulge in their lust and instead they indulged in one another’s minds. Those nights were the hardest to deal with, as she had never shared as much of herself with another person. Not even Kris had the key to the intimate workings of her mind. She had been solitary for so long, it was hard to give those parts away cavalierly or easily. Their relationship changed from casual fling to serious entanglement so gradually, from day to day and moment to moment, that it was too late to turn back now.

Before she knew it, she had begun to depend on those conversations with him, listening intently to his voice in the darkest hours. The rasp of his quiet tones in the night lulled her into a state of calm repose that no other remedy had before or since. And now, here she was longing for that closeness with him once they were apart.

Thus her dilemma. Sometimes she felt as if she were losing her mind, due to the strength of emotion building behind the walls she forged to keep others away. Plus, she was going to give him complete control of her body when he already claimed her mind and parts of her heart. If nothing else, Jaden felt different. She felt like there was something more for her out there.

And not just the empty life she pictured for herself before.

She went back to him the next day, even with the misgivings she had from the choices she made. When she arrived, the air was clean and crisp and forced her to shrug her apprehensions away. It was just too beautiful on the isle to be in a foul mood for long.

Jonah waited for her. The wind snapped at his slacks and whipped the air around them. His expression was quietly harsh, and she knew her silence of the last week had worn thin on his nerves. He wore a pair of aviator shades, and she couldn’t see his eyes. She could see in his stance that he was far from happy with her silence of the last days, but she expected a little more welcome than she received on sight.

She got the anticipated reaction when she crossed the tarmac and reached him. Jonah finally clasped her to him, and she could hear as he inhaled deeply into her wind-whipped hair.

Why did he have to feel so good, like he was her home?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Me

Jonah was upset with Jaden.

He knew she was new to the idea of sharing with another person, but neither of them was in kindergarten. She should at least understand that there was more to the two of them than a pair of healthy, red-blooded humans who occasionally indulged in carnal desires. While she was away, he tried hard not to throw his weight around and call her obnoxiously or irritate her with unnecessary chitchat. He only sent her one text message a day during her absence, and she couldn’t even bother to respond to those few.

He led the team, and if any other member had indulged in the radio silence Jaden had, Jonah would have snapped the leash on them so quickly, more than heads would have spun.

But when she strode across the field, all he could acknowledge was that he missed her, and even though she was rude with her silence, he chose not to serve her any of the well-deserved anger he felt. Especially when he considered what Jaden was about be immersed neck-deep in starting that very night.

While she was gone, there wasn’t too much to be done, except wait and train. He did both this week during his crash course with Stein. Stein was normally a member of the away team as he perused for leads in dungeons across the world, but Jonah had need of him here on the isle this time.

Stein was actually short for Einstein, a name that no one, except for his mother, could call the man and live to speak again it later. He was a dominant in the true sense of the word, and the lifestyle was his personal preference.

The huge man had started Jonah’s training with a handful of thin volumes and a terse request to begin reading immediately. Jonah did as he was bidden, and the tomes raised his eyebrows at several points. But he could definitely see the benefits of his new skill set. Not to mention there were some aspects that he planned on trying, just for the hell of it.

He had to admit, there was something incredibly hot about the idea of using a set of needle-nose clips on her plump nipples. Or he would like to try binding her limbs together, although he was pretty certain that would be a tough sell if not for the nature of their current assignment.

He knew that the supposedly quick reads had taken a life of their own as he had grown enthralled with the mechanics of dominant sex. He was so engrossed that Jonah realized that the time for Jaden’s education as a submissive was finally ready to begin when he finally put down his personal favorite,
Exit to Eden
. Stein constructed a curriculum with this first crucial week on dominant and submissive demeanor. Jonah’s “homework” was to show Jaden how to greet him, understand his cues, and follow basic commands without hesitation. He knew this was going to be tougher for her, as she was so used to being in control.

But when he finally had learned what the concept of being dominant meant, he had craved one thing. He would command her to sleep in his bed. After that they would go where nature and a lust for exploration took them.

The drive was made on autopilot as the Range Rover ate the distance eagerly until he parked in the garage beside the carriage house.

It was time.

“Jaden, when I messaged you this past week, did you bother to think there may have been a reason for it?” She didn’t respond aloud, but her eyes seemed redolent with so many emotions that he was hard pressed to isolate a single one.

The silence formed a weight that only Atlas could shoulder. When she finally stepped foot into his domain, he gave his first, but hopefully not last, command.

“Jaden, go into your bedroom. There is a garment that I need you to put on. If you need help, call me. Otherwise, come back here in five minutes.”

She surprised him with quick acquiescence instead of the argument he sought.

When she came back into the room four and a half minutes later, she was clad in the clothes he had chosen. Jaden was covered from bust to hip in a black leather corset with a front zipper trimmed in delicate white lace and tiny thong panties to match.

For the first time he was able to see her in a pair of high-heeled shoes. Her petite curves and his undiluted lust for her wrapped into a volatile mix that even seemed to coat the air.

He could only find fault in one area of her attire, and that was the fit of her bodice. But that was quickly resolved once he slowly paced to the back of her, where the ribbons were slightly too loose. He let one hand loosely trail from her shoulder to the waist, where the ties met into two large bows midway. The first he fiddled with ran from the top down, and he tugged gently before he retied the ribbon. Then the second ribbon running the base of the corset upward was given the exact same treatment.

“How does that feel?” Jonah rubbed his hands over her shoulders before he let the weight of his own palms drag his exploration down to her elbows.

She didn’t open her mouth, and Jonah used one hand to palm her nearly bared scalp. Then he surprised her with a clench of his fingers in the short hair at her crown. He could hear her breath catch with the movement, and he liked, no, loved, the idea of catching her off guard. This was a woman who was hard-pressed to be taken from her element, no matter where she was.

And in that moment, a dominant was born.

He only now appreciated the mirror in the space. Before, the reflective surface was only a decorative element that he mostly ignored. But now? It gave him ample opportunity to enjoy the view. And not just as one of the participants, but a bird’s eye view as observer also. The fit of the corset performed an immediate change in her shape, and he reveled in the overly exaggerated expanse of her hips. Her demeanor had made an about-face with the change in garb. She almost seemed to be a different woman entirely.

“Jaden, I know that you have been apprehensive about these coming weeks. That is okay. This is new for both of us. I am not a monster, nor am I a sadist. But I am here to show you what I need you to be. My commands are given in direct response to that need. Do you understand what I mean?” He looked her in the eye using the mirror, and his direct gaze was trained carefully to ferret out every nuance of her response. When she nodded, he continued. “Our training is geared to escalate. Week after week, what we do together in these four walls will become more and more intense with every session. But no matter what we explore together, there is no need to be afraid of me. Do you know what I am afraid of, Jaden?” He waited until she shrugged and shook her head. “My greatest fear is that I will hurt you because of my lack of hands-on knowledge. So understand that you have to tell me when our play becomes too much for you to handle. I am not omniscient, nor am I a mind reader. Will you do that for me? Can you?”

“Yes.” Her response was carefully measured, as if the single word carried more weight than imagined.

“From this moment forward, when we train, you have the luxury of addressing me either one of two ways. Master or Sir. Do you understand, Jaden?”

“Yes… Sir.” The last word was given a tangible bite, and he couldn’t stop the smile that crept up his lips. There was his Jaden, always sweet with a hint of salt.

“A little less sarcasm, my dear.”

“Yes, Sir.” This time the phrase was spoken politely and overbearingly sweet, as if she had a mouthful of sugar when she spoke.

“Better, but not by much. At the end of this week, I expect you to have a better tone. And don’t forget that Stein will personally monitor your progress. If he doesn’t think you pass muster, then he will be responsible for your punishment.”

“So now Stein gets to whip me?”

“Not exactly. He will determine your punishment, but I will administer it under his supervision.”

That was enough to shut any further snide comments up.

Their first training was slow and methodical. He watched her almost lose her cool on several occasions throughout the night. But instead of punishing her with pain, he was going to gentle her to pleasure.

He showed her several methods she would use to approach him when they were in a session. If she was coming to him, she had to be on hands and knees only, unless she was carrying something. When she was next to him she could kneel with her head down and hands on her thighs. She had to remain no further than five feet away at all times unless she was given a directive to do something else. With each rule he outlined to her, Jonah could feel her ire grow.

She held her position perfectly, but he could see the tension spread across the sleek muscles framing her spine and the tight line along her jaw as she sat in the modified pose he’d requested for her to use just now. The position was a full-on child’s pose with her knees spread wide.

“Jaden, lie here on your back.” He pointed to a large S-shaped cushion where the short living room table used to reside. When she was positioned to his liking, he knelt at her side.

She shivered, more than likely from the proximity than fear or cold. Jonah lowered his lips to hers for a single peck against her dry mouth then nuzzled her ear with his nose. “Now I want you to be my nasty girl, rub that clit, and come for me while I watch.”

He’d deliberately interjected a harsh rasp to his voice to ensure she knew that he meant business, just like Stein instructed before. Her flesh pebbled into goose bumps, and he felt her stiffen, which he presumed was from the directness of his command. And thus, he got his first chance to test her ability to submit when she hesitated. It seemed as if she was mentally prepared for anything, that was, anything but what he’d just asked for.

“So you want to test me already?” She remained mutinously silent, as if there was nothing to say.

That was fine with him. She could keep her mouth shut for now, but in the end he would make sure she was the most vocal she had ever been in her life.