The Laughing Assassin [Assassin's Diary] (Siren Publishing Classic) (18 page)

But even with abrupt sarcasm that emitted from her in waves, he felt the emotional tie binding them. He was a hard man, but that was because he’d never had anything to be gentle for. Never had anyone who could use that side of him, until Jaden. She was hard on the outside, but he knew that beneath the stone shell she encased herself in, there was another woman hidden inside that needed his gentility.

If only she would let him touch and taste that woman, he could unite her, unite them. He wrapped her in his arms and held her. There was nothing to say in those moments. The simplicity of offering himself was all he had to give. He had no way of knowing what she was thinking, but she fought the affection halfheartedly. He let her struggle for a moment. She could escape if she wanted to. He didn’t block any of his pressure points or vital organs. If nothing else, he wanted her to know he trusted her with his life, and eventually, she would believe the same about him.

“Tell me something about yourself.” He just wanted to hear her voice, and he hoped the conversion would slow her skittish heart down.

Jaden asked, “What do you want to know?” That was simple. He wanted to know everything.

“Whatever you will share with me is enough for now.” It would have to be. Rushing her would do him little good and eradicate the fragile bridge she allowed him to build between them.

“I like Lalaloopsy dolls.” He laughed. But wondered, what in the hell was a Lalaloopsy doll?

“What’s that?” He’d only know if he asked.

“It’s a doll made from plastic, but designed kind of like an old rag doll. You know the ones with button eyes?”

“Yeah, my sister had one. But my favorite personal possession as a kid was a tattered piece of blue blanket.”

By that point she had calmed down and even chuckled along with him.

The conversation went on, with inane bits of personal trivia bandied about until their bellies reminded them that they had one another for lunch. While that was the best midday meal he could imagine, their metabolisms were too high to go without consistent fuel.

After a quick dinner, everything was fine between them until he made the mistake of asking her to sleep in his bed. “Come to bed with me.”

“No thanks, I’d rather sleep in my room.”

She walked away from him at that point, but he knew she was irritated with him. Her back was ramrod straight, and her hands tightened into half-assed fists. He let her walk away because he knew at this point she had shut down mentally and there was nothing he could do to stop her. But when he rolled around in his solitary bed two hours later, he wondered if she fared any better than he did. It only took a moment for him to creep slowly toward her room a mere two doors down from his own.

He listened in an attempt to hear if she was sleeping or not. If she was, then he would leave her be. Jonah couldn’t hear anything, and he opened the door wide. She wasn’t in bed, but he didn’t hear her leave the room. The moonlight barely penetrated the dim, and it took a moment for him to spot her. She was a tiny bundle on the floor beside the bed, opposite to the window and, of course, on most easily defendable side of the room. She didn’t move or make a sound, but he knew she was awake. If she wanted to sleep on the floor, that was fine with him. He’d slept on plenty of surfaces much worse than hard wood.

Jonah strode to the side of the bed and lay down next to her. She didn’t speak, either in criticism or approval. If she was going to be silent, so would he. But he knew she was happy to see him, as she offered him a portion of her blanket. He took the fabric and her as well. She weighed next to nothing, and he placed her on top of him, letting her use his body as a mattress before he wrapped the blanket over her back.

She was asleep within minutes as Jonah could hear her breathing change to a soft putter at each exhale. It only took him a few minutes after that to drift off as well.

The next morning the sun was bright and eagerly shone in the window. But in the nest of blankets, for once, Jonah found he resisted waking. He just didn’t want to. Jaden had other ideas, and she took a deep breath before she planted her hands on his chest and sinuously stretched upward in a cobra.

Her toes touched the floor next to his shins, and she bent her back into downward facing dog. He knew some yoga, but he was no guru by any stretch of the imagination. There were several moves he incorporated into his workout due to fact that he had to become flexible to get the most out of his body. But that was the extent of him, yoga, and where the two met.

* * * *

The next two weeks found them working side by side more often than not. Jaden was now on the same status as Jonah. That meant the sparring matches were usually either exhibitions with the two of them, or she had to give handicaps just to train with the other team members. She got to show Jonah some of her computer-based tricks, and he gave her a few pointers as well.

They still slept side by side, as he refused to let her be anywhere else.

They spent fourteen days fucking, fighting, and finagling intrigue in no certain order, and she desperately needed a breath without him in it. He took over everything around him without even trying. It was as if she was unable to keep the most basic of her needs to herself, not even tampons without him taking care of it. Although he was gentle with her, and for some reason she loved that, too. No man could ever be such a perfect combination of tough, affable, and sexy.

He never questioned her aversion to beds for resting, merely laid with her wherever she chose. There was no way she could stop the wreck she knew was coming. She was in too deep with him, and even now she couldn’t imagine letting him go in just another short month. But there was one part of their working arrangement that she conveniently forgot, or at least she ignored in the hopes that it would go away.

After she made the trip back from her bakery, she was going to come back to a dominant and not her Jonah as she knew it. He was supposed to begin his dungeon training while she was away, and the idea of enslaving herself was enough to make her sick. Not that she was pure as the driven snow or anything, but what woman could consent to being a man’s slave? Everything about the concept seemed disgusting somehow.

She packed her bag up quickly, but the one she carried today was going be an overnight bag only, as there she had no need of clothing back home. It was a few days before the wedding, and she had to get back to the bakery to prep the final batch of cakes for the event. Kris was excited per her last Skype message, which consisted of a bunch of screeching and bouncing instead of an actual conversation taking place.

When Jonah drove her to the jet, he was silent, and she knew he wanted to come with her. But this trip was going to be much faster if he stayed behind and let her get the work she needed finished. At least then, she would be distraction free and mentally focused on their common goal.

Plus, I need the time away from him.

The few days away were a beacon that radiated serenity just over the horizon. But even with that logic, when the plane took off she held her breath as if Jaden wished to carry the last taste of his scent within her lungs for as long as possible. The flight was thankfully uneventful. Not even turbulence marred the sunny and smooth sailing home. Only her attitude was able to mar her glorious day. She landed back in town and was back at the bakery just over four hours later.

When she exited the taxi, Kris was already waiting for her, and the happy girl skipped in delight at the curb. This had been the longest they had been separated since Jaden met her at Jourdain’s Basement O’Terror.

As she entered the bakery, she was surprised. The place was just as polished as she left it. Even the kitchen had been reorganized. Even stranger was the fact she liked it. Well… she liked it after she mulled over the differences for a few moments. Before her travels to the island, she more than likely would have flipped at the idea of someone else taking care of her own establishment, of having someone else make the decisions and changing things around. But she had learned to share her day-to-day burdens after having Jonah at her beck and call these last days.

Even Dayna had drastically improved upon her culinary skills, although Johannes was the rock the entire venture hung upon. Kris was too distracted with daily life as a twentysomething. Dayna was too impatient when it came to the art of baking to make beautiful edibles. Plus, her attitude hampered her ability to handle the number of customers the shop catered to on a daily basis.

The food that came out of the kitchen was on par with hers, and that was enough to satisfy Jaden. There was the addition of soup to the menu, and she was able to have a loaded potato for dinner. The stock was pretty decent and packed with flavor, so Jaden found herself without any valid complaints.

Jaden found that Johannes had already begun the fondant prep work for the wedding cupcake tower, and he had even made a simple change to the flower design. She liked the addition of the iridescent glitter to the flower petals, so she let him continue unchallenged on that also, though for her to take the backseat in her own project rankled her more than slightly.

But the major issue she had mainly was that she had been neatly removed from her own life in less than three weeks. But how could she even voice that sentiment aloud without sounding like a jealous douchebag? She couldn’t, and Jaden bit her tongue as she tried vainly not to be testy to the others without good reason.

When she felt the vibration in her back pocket, Jaden tugged the phone out and walked away from the kitchen that she barely could call her own anymore. She looked down at the phone Jonah had given her just a few weeks ago. It was him, of course, as there were only a handful of people on earth who even had the number.

She couldn’t stop the smile that crept over her lips at the sight of his picture on the home screen with a numeral five beside the picture in a small circle. She checked them in order.

The first message was,
Jaden, I hope that you arrived safely and that you find the bakery was well taken care of in your absence.

The second came in ten minutes later.
I want to see you, taste you when you submit

The handful of words was enough to make her embarrassed as she felt a familiar bloom of heat bubble in the region of her loins. Then the jitters from arousal made her hands jerky as she scrolled quickly away, lest her face give away how she felt to any bystanders that might see her.

His third note stirred something more inside of her than mere arousal and was worse than the one before it.

I want you to want it, to grow to crave the taste of my cock and my strap on your ass

Then he followed with,
You will love everything I do to you. I promise

Not to mention, the last message.
When I strip you of your masks and adopted identity, all that will remain is the essence of you on my skin and undiluted truth

The messages brought every fear she left the island with back to the surface. As is, she loathed the idea of being a submissive, but there was some small part of her that seemed to stir at the concept anyway, despite her angst.

Although, most of her emotional turmoil was due to the fact that she missed Jonah, but Jaden could barely own up mentally to that thought either. Let alone speak the words aloud to make them more real. Kris didn’t help either. Her friend claimed to have had a dream about Jaden and Jonah the night before. And Kris’s dreams seemed to always come true.

If the following days were filled with thoughts of him, the subsequent nights were the worst of it. She found that she slept poorly, no matter what she did or how many winks she got. When she awoke the next morning she was in a perpetual state of exhaustion, she was tired, irascible, and impatient even more so than her usual Eeyore face as Kris called it. The bags beneath her eyes were large enough to pack for a European holiday when she saw her own face in the mirror just before dawn each day.

Jaden was certain that she could pack for three months and only use the puffy skin beneath her eyes as luggage. And it was entirely his fault.

There was no distraction great enough to keep her mind away from him. Jaden ran ten miles with her best personal time yet, and even that wasn’t enough. She refused to call Jonah, although she craved the sound of his voice as if the monkey on her back bore his name. He had much less compunction about contact. But after the mass of messages on day one of her departure, he usually limited himself to a single text daily. Those were innocuous to boot, mostly general inquiries. But she couldn’t bring herself to respond no matter what he said.

What could she say? She missed him? She couldn’t sleep without him? Not to mention the crash course in submission would begin on her return, and she refused to even entertain what it would be like to be a slave. Her childhood was pretty close to that state in her estimation, and there was no way that she relished the return. Especially when she considered the fact that she was too headstrong to accept not being in control of everything around her. She had worked too hard for too long to be in control of her life now.

The handful of days left flew by, and the wedding preparations were over, leaving her with no real reason to stay stateside. All that was left for her to do was repack her bags and fly back to Jamaica. But she delayed her departure for another day anyway and cited that she needed to spend some time with Kris. It was true to a point, but she knew the real reason she wasn’t ready to go back was Jonah.