The Last Time (8 page)

I tried not to laugh.

Ryan rubbed his cheek then finished his glass.

Sean was still panicking. “I’m married,” he said to another girl in a weak voice. He kept looking at the floor, averting his eyes as much as possible. His left hand was held up. “I married!”

“I just wanted to borrow a coaster…” The girl looked at him like he was crazy.

“Oh.” He threw it at her. “
Here.” He looked down at the ground again.

I burst out laughing.

“I think that guy has turrets,” I heard a girl say.

I laughed harder at my brother. He really knew how to make an idiot out of himself.

Kirk and Cameron were in paradise. They each had a girl on their thigh. They were too absorbed in them to pay attention to us.

“So, this is lame,”
Ryan said honestly.

“It’s the truth,” I said.

Sean looked like he might pass out.

“Dude, calm the hell down,” Ryan said. “We know you aren’t going to cheat on Scarlet.”

“I just don’t want her to think I am,” Sean said defensively. “I don’t want her to hear rumors about me being too friendly with the women.”

“You’re at a bachelor party,” Ryan said. “She knows women will be around.”

“I’m married.” He said it like it explained everything.

“You can still be cool,” Ryan said.
“If I told Janice some girls offered to have a threesome with me, she wouldn’t flip out.”

“Well, I’ve haven’t had the best past with Scarlet,” Sean said darkly.

I rolled my eyes. “Let the past go. She has.”

“I’ll never make up for what I did,” my brother said.

I was tired of arguing with him. “I wish Cortland were here.”

“Me too,” Ryan said. “I hope everything is okay with Monnique.”

“Why don’t they just get back together?” Sean asked. “It’s like, they are but they aren’t.”

I shrugged.
“It seems like they really love each other. I hope they can work it out. Monnique wasn’t my favorite person, but she’s warmed up to me a lot.”

“Me too,” Ryan admitted. “I don’t think her behavior was acceptable, but she seems sincere about her apologies and her shortcomings.”

“Maybe we should have guy talk with Cortland,” Sean said.

“No,” Ryan said. “He needs to figure this out on his own.”

More rounds were brought to the table. Cameron and Kirk ignored theirs since they were more interested in the beautiful women on their laps. I knew both of them had a hard-on.

The guys and I drank more and more. My head started to buzz so I stopped. I couldn’t get drunk anymore. I was about to be a husband and a father. My days of youth were long gone. Now I had to be responsible and a role model. My dad made it look so easy.

“Let’s head to the room and play poker,” Ryan said.

“Good idea.”
I’d been hit on by three different women. I was getting sick of swatting them away. “You coming?” I said to Cameron.

Kirk had his tongue down the girl’s throat. He was unable to speak.

“We’ll catch you later,” Cameron said without looking at me. His eyes were glued to the busty chest in his line of sight.

We threw the cash on the table then left.

Unable to drive, we walked to the plaza hotel and checked in. We didn’t bring any bags because we would just pass out anywhere then head home the next day. We took the elevator to the penthouse, where we saw a card table in the center of the room. The chips and board were already in place, along with a fully stocked bar.

“You ready to lose your money?” I asked.

Ryan sat down at the table then shuffled the cards. “You obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

“Maybe we should keep it friendly,” Sean suggested.

“Looks like Sean sucks at poker,” Ryan said with a smile.

“I just meant because this is Mike’s bachelor party,” Sean said.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Sean poured the bourbon then handed out the cigars.

Ryan didn’t touch his and neither did Sean. I was the only one who lit up. I’d only smoked a cigar three times in my life. It was only for special occasions. “You aren’t going to smoke?”

Ryan shook his head. “It’s not for me.”

Sean didn’t touch his. “Me neither.”

“You used to smoke cigars,” I said. “Especially in college.”

“Well, that was years ago,” he brushed off.

“You’re pussy-whipped.” I called him out on his shit.

“I don’t care,” Sean said. “I’ll admit it to anyone.” He picked up his cards and we started the game.

After a few rounds, we started making bigger bets. Ryan started betting thousands of dollars so I met his tender. My cigar lasted a long time because I savored it. I hoped Cassandra wouldn’t smell it on me when I got home, but then again, after everywhere we went tonight, I probably smelled like booze and piss.

“So, getting cold feet?” Ryan asked, studying my face.

“No.”

“Really?” He smirked at me. “I never thought I’d see the day when Mike took a wife.”

“Neither did I,” I said honestly. “But I could say the same about you.”

“Touché,” Ryan said.

“Cassandra asked me the same question the other day,” I said. “Honestly, I’m surprised she had the balls to ask me that when she was the one who dumped me to begin with.”

“Well, she has pregnancy hormones,” Sean explained. “Her emotions might be out of whack.”

“Maybe,” I said. “I’m waiting for her to get really horny.”

“You don’t do it enough as it is?” Ryan asked with a laugh.

“Oh, we do. But more is never enough.” I liked having sex with Cassandra.
A lot of it.

We played a few more rounds. Ryan won’t
the jackpot a few times, but I won it back. By the end, we broke even. Sean was the only one who was in the hole.

“You really do suck, bro,” I said.

Sean rolled his eyes. “It’s been awhile, alright?”

“We’ve been playing for hours,” Ryan said.

“I guess I’m stressed out,” Sean said.

I stared at him. “About what?”

“That Scarlet will think I cheated on her tonight or something.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

Ryan and I shared a glanced. “Dude, you’re being paranoid.”

“I just don’t want to stress her out.” I could tell he had too much to drink because his eyes were drooping and he was getting emotional. He was hardly like that. “I’m afraid she’ll lose the baby again. When Flynn came to the house, I almost killed him because he was dropping all his personal bullshit on her. And then Monnique’s dad died…” He covered his face. “I know I’m being selfish, but I can’t go through that again. I can’t…” His voice cracked at the end.

I gripped his shoulder and steadied him. “It’ll be alright, man.”

“I’ll kill myself if I make her lose it again.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Ryan said gently. “And Scarlet will be fine. She’s been staying home and laying around, getting fat.” He tried to lighten the mood. “I know she
eats ice cream like it’s water.”

Sean rested his head on the table and fell silent.

I rubbed his back while he mumbled something incoherent. “Horrible husband…”

I sighed then threw my cards down. “He’s out.”

“I can tell.”

I looked at Ryan. “I’m sorry that Cassandra I paraded over your wedding and engagement. We just needed to do this fast.”

He smiled. “Dude, it’s not a problem. Janice and I don’t care in the least.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. We’re happy for you.”

“Hopefully Cortland will be at your bachelor party.”

He nodded. “If he can’t come, then we won’t have one at all. He’s my best friend.”

“It seems like Scarlet is,” I teased.

He shrugged. “No one will ever compete with my sister. Our ties run deep. Only she will ever really understand me. She’s seen my darkness and understands the true meaning of depression. Scarlet has seen me at my lowest point, something I’ll never show anyone—not even Janice. It had to be her.”

I knew they had a bad childhood but I never asked about it. It was none of my business and Mike never mentioned it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” A sadness crept into his eyes.

“Something bothering you?”

He was quiet for a long time. “I’m just stressed out.”

“You can talk to me about it…”

He shook his head. “No, I’ll take this one to the grave.”

“And there’s Scarlet,” I reminded him.

“No. She can’t know about this one. And I’m sure Sean would kill me if I told her.”

That was the truth. “Well, I’m here if you change your mind.”

“I know, man.” He gave me a serious look. “You’ll be a great dad and husband. Cassandra is very lucky.”

Ryan hardly
said nice things to me, and he certainly didn’t get mushy-mushy. Sean was better known for that. For a guy, he was incredibly emotional and sensitive. Well, he became that way after he got married. Before that, he was an insensitive jerk just like the rest of us. “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah.”

We sat at the table quietly, Sean snoring.

“Should I throw him on the couch?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah. I’ll help.”

Together, we laid Sean down then tossed his jacket over him.

“I’m sleeping on the bed,” Ryan said. “I called it.”

“I got the other couch,” I said.

“Cool.” Ryan kicked off his shoes.

I glanced at the clock. It was four in the morning.

“Don’t wake me up tomorrow,” Ryan said as he walked away.

“Yeah. Ryan?”

“What?” He turned around.

“Why didn’t you smoke?” Ryan and I had been somewhat close over the past
year, but I felt a stronger connection to him after tonight. It was something I would never ask and I would probably never get another opportunity to ask it. So I took a shot. I knew there was a strong reason why. He wasn’t against drinking or tattoos, so there was something holding him back.

He pulled down his shirt, stretching the neck. Faint circles marked his shoulder.
He pulled it back after I got a good look. “My mom used to burn cigarettes into my skin.” He said it with a straight face, no emotion. Then he walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

10

Cortland

When we went to bed that night, Monnique was quiet. She hadn’t spoken since she broke down at the cemetery. But she didn’t cry either. When we went out to dinner, she ordered her food but didn’t touch it. Both she and Javi were lost in their thoughts. I respected their despair and remained mute.

She opened he
r bag and pulled out her shorts and t-shirt. I knew she usually just slept in a t-shirt with no bottoms or bra, but she was making an effort to cover herself. I wouldn’t make a move anyway, not when she was depressed like this.

She went into the bathroom and changed before she came out, her hair pulled back.

I stripped down to my boxers because that’s usually how I slept. It was too hot sleeping next to Monnique.

She sat at the edge of the bed and unclipped her earrings, dropping them on her nightstand. I got into bed and waited for her to join me. She stayed on the bed, facing the wall.

I wanted to say something to make this better, but I couldn’t. There was nothing. Her father was gone and I would never change that. The pain she felt would radiate through her body no matter how I touched her or loved her. I couldn’t protect her from this.

I
placed my hand on her back and rubbed her gently, trying to clear her mind of whatever she was thinking. She finally lay down and pulled the covers over her. She immediately turned on her side, away from me. I stayed on my back and looked at the ceiling.

“Monnique?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “I know.”

I spooned her from behind and wrapped my arm around her stomach. She didn’t push me away or react. My face moved to the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. More than anything else, I missed this. I missed holding her while we slept. She was better than any teddy bear I had as a child.

I faintly heard her sniff.

“Talk to me,” I whispered.

“I have nothing to say.”

I grabbed her hand from her chest and gripped it tightly. “I’m always here for you, Monnique. Remember that.”

She didn’t speak, but the sound of a few more tears escaped. Listening to her cry made me want to cry. I hated it.

“Try to get some sleep.”

“I can’t…”

“Think about something else.
”

“
When I’m not thinking about him, I’m thinking about you…”

“Then
think about Sean and Scarlet’s baby and how cute it will be.”

She took a deep breath. “It will be cute.”

“And you’ll be there aunt, their favorite aunt.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“You’re a nurse. They’re going to think you’re a hero.”

She chuckled. ‘That would be cool.”

“They’ll love you.” I rubbed her back and kept talking about their baby. She listened to me and responded a few times, but eventually, she fell asleep.

The next day, we got ready for the funeral. Monnique wore a black dress with a see-through fabric around her shoulders. She wore a black veil around her face along with a small black hat. Her hair was pulled back and she wore waterproof makeup.

Even in her depression, she looked beautiful. She reminded me of the gorgeous women from the 20’s, classy and elegant. Even when the despair weighed on her shoulders, she held her
self proudly. I felt like a jackass for finding her so beautiful. This was a difficult day for her, and all I could think about was those beautiful cheeks and lips.

She and Javi skipped breakfast because neither one of them were hungry. I didn’t have an appetite either. On the drive over, I held her and kept her close to me. The veil got under my skin. I kept thinking of a white one covering her face, on that I would lift on our wedding day. The daydream made me want to crumble into tears.

We arrived at the church, seeing the casket in the very front. An arrangement of flowers was placed on it, and a large portrait of her father sat beside it. Monnique greeted the pastor and made her comments. I stayed beside her the whole time. Javi was taking the reins more than she was, but I was grateful. Monnique needed all the support she could get.

We sat in the front row and waited for the ceremony to start. Javi greeted their relatives but she stayed beside me, unable to speak or smile. My arm
was over across the back of her chair and I held her hand in the other. She stared straight ahead, lifeless.

When everyone was seated, I looked behind me. The church was packed. Her father was a popular guy. I kept squeezing Monnique’s hand, telling her I was there. The pastor stepped to the podium and spoke about her father, recapturing his life in words and in pictures. Monnique didn’t cry. She just listened.

Javi sat on the other side of her, tears falling freely.

I really wished this hadn’t happened. Monnique had already suffered enough. Why did she have to suffer still?

Javi approached the podium and gave his speech. It was short and sweet, telling everyone in the church how much his father meant to him. Monnique watched him, a stoic expression on her face. I wondered if she prepared a speech. If she did, I didn’t see it.

Javi returned to the row and
she stood up. Reluctantly, I released her hand. With grace, she rose up the steps then reached the podium. Her black gloves could be seen on the stand. If she was nervous, she didn’t show it.

“I’m Monnique, my father’s second child. Um…” She took a deep breath, trying to get through the words. “I could stand up here all day and tell you why my father was a great man and why I’ll miss him, but even that wouldn’t do it justice. So, I’m going to have to be selective.

“My earliest memory of my father was when he gave me a flower. We were in Hawaii on vacation. I was four years old, maybe five. I’m not sure.  He handed me the flower and told me it was beautiful just like me, unique and unlike any other in the world. Since I wanted an ice cream instead, I threw it on the ground and told him I hated him.” The audience chuckled at her words. She even smiled. “So, he got me an ice cream and watched me eat it on the beach. After my face was covered in dessert and my hands were sticky, he cleaned me up. Then he handed me the flower, saying I was still beautiful even though I was a mess.” She took a deep breath. “Even when I was ugly, even when I was a brat, he still told me I was beautiful. And that was my first memory.”

She stared at her hands for a moment, fixing the gloves even though they were perfectly fine. “My parents didn’t have a lot of money, but they did the best they could. They managed to get me through college so I could be a nurse, my lifelong goal. The day I graduated, my father brought me a boutique
of flowers. After he handed them to me, he said I was even more beautiful than all the flowers in my hand, and that I got better with age.” She blinked her eyes then sniffed, trying to stop herself from crying.

“After my mom passed away, I knew my father wasn’t doing very well. I should have been here…but I wasn’t. And I’ll always regret that until the day I die. I know my father wouldn’t want me to suffer, he was such a carefree person, but he always put me first. And I should have tried harder to do the same for him.

“The day I moved from Seattle, he gave me a necklace.” She touched the chain around her throat, a pendant of a Hawaiian flower. “He said he wouldn’t be able to give me flowers anymore, to tell me I was rare and beautiful just like the petals. So he said the necklace would have to suffice.” She stopped and closed her eyes, not letting herself cry. “And that is my last memory of him.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until I blinked. That speech dwar
fed me, made me feel just as much pain and regret that circulated through her body. She left the podium then returned to her seat beside me. She stared straight ahead, not letting a tear fall. She stayed strong.

I returned my arm to her shoulders and pressed my head against hers, silently comforting her.

The pastor finished the ceremony, and then everyone walked to the grounds where the body would lay to rest. I held her hand while we walked. She said nothing and stared at the landscape, seeing the trees and the flowers. My eyes were still wet.

The tombstone had been etched with his name and years alive. Above it was her mother’s name because she would be buried beneath him. We stood by the grave and watched them lower it into the ground. My hand never l
eft hers, trying to steady her.

Everyone formed a line and grabbed a pile of dirt then sprinkled it over the coffin. Monnique and I stayed back with Javi, watching everyone say their prayers as the dirt fell from their fingers. They said their condolences then headed to the wake. Monnique waited until every person was finished before she approached the grave. I watched her, making sure she wouldn’t fall.

Instead of grabbing a handful of dirt, she opened her clutch and pulled out a flower. It was dead and crumbled, practically breaking apart. I couldn’t identify what type of flower it was because it was so damaged. She stared at it for a long time, her tears starting to fall. Then she kissed it then dropped it into the grave.

I came behind her then wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her steady. She cried for minutes, her hands covering her face. Then she fell to her knees, still crying.

I didn’t know what to do. I kneeled slightly behind her and gave her a moment to grieve. But I hated listening to her cry. It was pure agony. I’d rather stab my thigh with a knife than listen to it.

Javi stood on the other side of the grave, his head bowed and his eyes closed.

Monnique continued to cry. An hour passed and she didn’t seem to be finished. I’d be as patient as she needed to be. Javi finally came to her side then touched her shoulder.

“We should get going,” he said gently. “People are waiting.”

She nodded then tried to fix her makeup as she stood up. I turned her toward me then used my fingers to fix her running eyeliner and mascara, making sure she looked as perfect as the day began.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Yeah.”

We left the cemetery, hand in hand, and then joined everyone at the house. The food was catered and the waiters took care of the event. Quiet music played in the background.

While we moved through the crowd, Monnique spoke to her relatives and cried with them a few times. I was always a step behind her, being a crutch if she ever needed me.

For the next few hours, she mingled with everyone, but I could tell she didn’t want to be there. She just wanted to be alone, somewhere quiet. “I need to use the restroom,” she whispered to me.

“Okay. I’ll walk you.”

“It’s okay.”

“I insist,” I said gently.

“Okay.”

I walked with her to the bathroom then stayed outside the door. I leaned against the wall and stared at the ground, replaying the day’s events in my mind. I really wish this hadn’t happened. She didn’t deserve it.

Javi came down the hall. “Do you know where Monnique is?”

“In the bathroom. Why?”

“Lucas is waiting for her outside. He wants to talk to her.”

Lucas? Why did that name sound familiar?
“Who is he again?”

“Her ex-boyfriend. I’m surprised he showed up. He came looking for her a few times, so I assume they ended on bad terms. But it seems like he just want
ed to give her his condolences.”

My blood boiled immediately. Javi clearly had no idea what the fucker did to her. He had no idea how abusive he used to be. And he had the nerve to show up to her father’s funeral?

“You okay, man?”

“Yeah,” I lied. “He’s outside?”

“Yeah.”

Without thinking, I headed down the hallway and toward the front door.
The idea of him hurting my girl sent me into a rage. I’d kill him. I throw his body into an empty grave then spit on his corpse. My fists clenched by my sides and my sight suddenly turned red. I was on a rampage. I needed to search and destroy.

When I got outside, I saw a man standing in jeans and a black shirt. He was dark-skinned and tall. I was already 6’2, but this guy was an inch taller than me and about the same size. I didn’t care. This guy could be the hulk and I’d still come after him.

He turned when he noticed me. “Have you seen Monnique?”

My fists collided with his face, sending his head back. I didn’t answer his question. When he stumbled back, I lifted my foot and slammed it hard into his gut, sending him to the pavement.

“Fuck!” He gripped his nose then tried to get up.

I kicked his side as hard as I could, making him yell in pain. “You hurt my girl, then you forfeit your life.” I kicked him again, certain I broke a rib or two.

“Stop!” Javi ran out then pulled me back. “What are you doing?”

My eyes were
wide with rage. “He used to beat Monnique. He was pathetic and abusive, hurting something beautiful.” Spit flew out of my mouth because I was so pissed.

“What?” Javi asked. “Where are you getting this from?”

Monnique ran to me then looked down at Lucas. “Cortland, stop.”