The Last Time (13 page)

“Monnique lost her mom less than a year ago, and when we lose the people we love, we get a little crazy. We fall apart and we do things we can’t undue. Her mother wanted her to be a model, and when Monnique had the chance, she took it. Obviously, it didn’t work out very well. She didn’t handle it with grace. But cut her some slack, Cortland. She didn’t even do anything that bad. If she fucked that guy, then I would understand your anger. But the fact is, she didn’t. And after suffering through so much, she
’s entitled to fail once in a while.  She’s not perfect and neither are you. Now rip it up.”

He glanced at me. “How did you know that…about her mom?”

“She told me.”

“Oh…she didn’t mention it to me.”

I changed the subject. “Cortland, rip it up.”

He clenched the paper in his hands, making his knuckles turn white, and then shred it to pieces. The paper sprinkled the kitchen, flowing over the table and onto the floor. Cortland stared at the mess, saying nothing.

“Cortland, do you want her back?”

He still wouldn’t look at me. He picked up a piece of paper and played with it in his hand. “I think so.”

“No,” I snapped. “You have to be sure. No more games.”

“I was never playing games.” His hot gaze locked onto mine.

“Are you sure?”

He sighed. “I’ll never love anyone else the way I love her. She might hurt me again, and if she does, well…she will.”

I was glad that was his response. I opened my purse and took out the letter. “I have something for you.”

He stared at the envelope. “What?”

“Monnique came to my house an hour ago and told me she was moving back to Seattle.”

Confusion clouded his eyes. “What?”

“She’s leaving tomorrow.”

He stood up. “She didn’t tell me?”

“She made me promise not to tell you. I was instructed to give this to you after she left.” I tossed it to him. “Unless you told me you want to be with her again, which you did. Now read the letter and go get her before it’s too late.”

With shaky hands, he grabbed the envelope and ripped it open. He pulled out the letter and opened it.

I didn’t expect him to read it to me, but he did.

Cortland,

I know it was wrong or me to leave without saying goodbye, but I’m sure you understand why I did it. While I love you and love our friends, I can’t stand by and watch you move on. Call me a coward, call me selfish, they are both true. But this is what I want.

My family and friends are waiting for me. I need time to heal from our break up and all the wrongs I committed. In time, I’ll move on and find someone new. Obviously, he’ll never be nearly as good as you—nor will any man ever. And
whoever you choose, she’s a very lucky girl. I just hope she treats you the way you deserve.

My father’s death has made me see the world in a new way. I don’t know how much time I have left to live and breathe, but I know I need to appreciate the things that matter, the people who matter. I’m just sorry I learned this lesson too late.

I hope that one day you and I can be friends—real friends. I will smile at you and be genuinely happy for you, and you will do the same for me. I love you with my whole heart and you will always be the love of my life. A day will not pass when you aren’t in my thoughts, but I hope that isn’t the same for you. Now that I’m gone, you can really move on and not be haunted by my ghost.

There’s something I want you
to have. I know you wouldn’t accept it if I gave it to you in person. This way, you are forced to take something that means the world to me. I remember our first memory and all the ones in between, but I wanted this to be your last memory of me—something beautiful.”

He looked in the envelope and pulled out a necklace. It was white gold with a Hawaiian flower hanging from the chain. Cortland took a deep breath while he held it in his hand. Soon, his eyes watered.

I didn’t know what to say. The necklace obviously had a profound effect on him.

He stood up then left the apartment, not looking at me or speaking to me. I was forgotten.

15

Cortland

My heart had never beat this fast. My palms were sweating, and my eyes were wet. I ran down the sidewalk even though I should have drove. I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I knew was I had to get to her as fast as possible.

The necklace was tight in my palm and the letter was in my pocket. Emotions propelled through my body, making me weak and dizzy. I hated myself for the time I wasted. I kept pushing the blame onto Monnique, but my behavior was far worse than what she did to me. I thought she was the monster, but it was
me all along. She was patient with me and waited, giving me as much time and space as I needed. There was no doubt she loved me, deeply.

I arrived at her building then took two stairs at a time. I was out of breath by the time I got to her door, covered in sweat, but I didn’t care. I banged on the door, unable to sit still. I needed to see her. I need
ed to talk to her.

The door finally opened. Her hair was pulled back and she looked at me in confusion. “Cortland, is everything okay?”

I walked into the apartment and crowded her backwards. I slammed the door behind me. “Don’t go.”

She looked down and saw the necklace in my hand. “She promised me…”

“And she didn’t break that promise.”

Her eyes widened slightly.

“I love you. Just you. Only you.”

Her breathing increased.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I’m the one who’s toyed with your emotions and dragged you through the mud. You may have hurt me, but it wasn’t intentional. Everything I’ve done to you has been unfair and immature. But you’re still here…”

I took a deep breath and held her gaze. “I should be the one begging you to take me back. So, please don’t go. I love you and I need you.”

Her eyes coated with tears. “What does that mean…?”

“I’m not saying I want to be what we were before. I want to start over and be together again, take it slow. But I want it just to be you and
I. In time, we’ll rebuild a stronger relationship than the one we had. I wanted to be your husband and the father of your kids.” She sniffed at my words. “But this is the last time I’m asking you this. This is the last time I’m putting my heart on the line. Neither one of us can mess around anymore. I’m in this for the long haul, wiping the slate clean for both of us. So, will you have me?”

She burst in tears. “You don’t even need to ask…”

I closed the gap between us and cupped her face, pressing my head to hers. “I love you.”

“God, I love you.” Tears fell down her face and I wiped them away with the pads of my thumbs. I knew I was crying to
o.

I took the necklace and clasped it around her neck. “Now this is our first memory.”

She smiled slightly, breathing deeply.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. “I’m yours forever, Monnique. I couldn’t stay away even if I tried.”

She hugged me tightly, crying into my shoulder. “I never thought I’d get you back.”

“Someone pulled my head out of my ass.”

She chuckled lightly then pulled away. “Do you want to know the last thing my father said about your before he died?”

I nodded, terrified to hear it.
“He told me I better marry you.”

My heart squeezed at her words. “You will.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, her lips tasting like salt. It wasn’t a kiss I’d received before. This was faint and desperate. She breathed into my mouth and didn’t move, just feeling my lips. I was too emotional to do much else.

I wasted so much time figuring out what I wanted, and I regretted the time lost. When I tried to be with other women, only Monnique was on my mind.
When I tried to forget about her, she was all I could think about. I’d try over and over with this girl, doing anything to keep her. But this was the last time we’d feel this. Because I wasn’t going to let her go ever again.

The Next Installment of the Forever and Always Series

Sweet Sins

Available Saturday, August 16, 2014

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