The Kingdom Land (28 page)

The Cooper farm was located just south of the Milk
River Ridge. Uncle Henry always said this ridge raised the clouds
and brought more rain. He said that if it rained an inch in
Fairfield it rained an inch and a half at the Cooper farm. He
constantly bragged how smart his dad was to pick such a great
location. Other farmers had like stories of their preferential
locations. No one ever knew if there was any fact to these claims,
but one thing was certain: no matter how good the farmer’s land he
still had to carefully work the land to coax the largest harvest
from its soil. There had to be a constant vigilance to bring in the
harvest from the time of seeding to the time the combine entered
the field.

Erik found it difficult to give the same vigilance to
his own life. God’s presence had allowed him to hope and feel joy
as never before, but the full harvest of God’s life would not be
enjoyed until he could cultivate and join in the strength of other
people.

Only one person was able to break Erik’s solitude. He
allowed John O’Brian into his life. John was a lifeline to the
outside world that Erik still held. He trusted John because it was
John who had explained Christ to him that first day and never tried
to sugar coat with an easy answer for Erik’s problems. Erik was
sure he would always get a straight answer from John. If Erik
needed to be straightened out, John wouldn’t be shy to tell
him.

At the same time, John was very aware of the hurt and
distrust that had been a real part of Erik’s past. He was always
careful not to push too hard. Erik could trust John more than the
Coopers. Although the Coopers had never done anything wrong except
to hide secrets they felt would hurt Erik. John volunteered to
spend time with Erik as if he enjoyed it. Erik hadn’t been thrust
upon John like he had been with the Coopers. What he didn’t realize
was that John felt the Lord had brought Erik to his doorstep just
as events had brought Erik to the Cooper’s.

John held a Wednesday evening Bible study at his
house each week. It was a loosely structured meeting of study, but
even more importantly, caring for those that attended. It was a
small group of five or six people. Sometimes the other people got
so busy they couldn’t made it. At times Erik was the only one who
attended. It was those times of being alone with John that Erik
appreciated the most. Those meetings allowed Erik to be free with
his questions, and John to speak directly to Erik.

These studies were the highlight of Erik’s week and
in many ways his life. It was there that Erik could certify all his
studies in the bunkhouse. These times alone were important times
with Christ, but somehow they seemed hollow until they were shared
with someone he trusted. It was as if people would go on a vacation
by themselves and see the great monuments of the world. The trip
would not be complete until they shared the pictures with those at
home.

Erik didn’t set out to be a loner, nor did he desire
to be by himself. It was the course of his life and Erik seemed
incapable to forge a change. Christ gave him an opportunity to talk
to a Present God, but Erik also needed someone to sit with and eat
with and be with. John did that, but John wasn’t enough.

Chapter
Twenty-Six

 

 

“
E
rik, come
and get it. Dinner's ready!” In the open land you could hear Mary's
shout and the clang of the dinner bell for miles, but it was all
unnecessary. Erik was already out of his work clothes in the
bunkhouse and even a whisper could have brought him to
dinner.

“
How much of the baling have you got
done?” Henry quizzed as Erik sat down at the table looking like a
starved animal.

“
I got the three old pond bottoms
done next to the Benders.”

“
Getting many bales off the
bottoms?” Henry's first concern always was and always would be the
yield of the farm. Now, however, he was old enough that he didn't
participate in the direct labor on the farm except for crucial
times like seeding and harvest.

“
Yeah, I'd say about forty bales per
bottom. That rain last spring must've left more water in those
holes than I expected,” Erik said as he shoveled the food into his
mouth.

There had been several heavy rains that spring, but
now the end of July had come, and after the one satisfying rain
earlier in the month, there was no more rain. Most of the prairie
was rapidly turning brown. Only the areas that somehow could hold
onto the moisture were different.

“
Good, that'll be enough to keep our
steers fat until we can get them to auction. But I'm not surprised
that there were that many bales. You always short-change what there
is. You'd think you're the bearer of doom the way you talk
sometimes,” Henry said with a grin. He was joking with Erik. At the
same time he was serious. He and Mary were trying as hard as they
could to help Erik to change his outlook.

“
Someone's got to be realistic
around here,” Erik replied. “The way you and Aunt Mary talk, I'd
expect this to be paradise rather than a prairie.” Erik also was
half joking, half serious.

Henry was not to be outtalked. “I'll
never forget the quote my teacher made me memorize in high school.
The quote is, ‘The mind is its own place; in itself it can make a
heaven of hell, a hell of heaven'. That's from Milton's
Paradise Lost.”

“
In high school! Your mind has
worked a major miracle to remember that far back, but I still don't
know if anyone can make this place a heaven,” Erik
mused.

“
I wish you'd try to make something
out of it more than your complaining. Here, I've gone out to get
something nice for you and all you do is complain.” Henry's eyes
now contained a hint of mischief.

“
You got something nice for me?
What, a one-way ticket to Bermuda?” Erik was still joking, but he
realized his remarks were beginning to be cutting and it was time
to bring the joke to a close. Besides, he was curious what Henry
had up his sleeve.

“
Ha, ha, ha. No, I got you a one-way
ticket to the Henry Cooper farm and a new place to live.” Henry
checked Erik's eyes to catch a reaction.

“
A new place to live? What do you
mean? I live in the bunkhouse.”

“
The bunkhouse is beginning to rub
off on you. You're starting to smell like it even when you're away.
The place has a pack of mice living in it, and it's only fit for
them, not for my family. You are my family, Erik. I got a loan
approved from next year's crop to buy a used mobile home. It'll be
a place that you can make your own and not share with the hired
hands during harvest. It can be your own place that other people
can come to and you won't be ashamed to have them over. It will be
here in a couple of weeks and we can park it next to the Quonset
hut, put blocks under it, a skirt around it, and it'll be your real
house.”

“
But Uncle, that's a lot of money,
and who knows how good next year's crop will be,” Erik protested.
“Why don't we get those seeders that you need so badly instead?
I've lived in the bunkhouse for this long. It won't hurt me to live
there a little longer. Besides, I don't see a lot of visitors in my
future anyway.” He was grateful because he knew how hard it was for
his uncle to spare the money, but it was a gesture he wished hadn't
happened. Erik already had other plans. He meant to leave the farm,
not have his uncle buy something that would tie him to this land
even further.

“
No, a little longer won't hurt
you,” his uncle conceded, “but you've lived in that place since
high school as it is, and since there are so many more years to
come, now is as good a time as any. There will always be things we
can buy for the farm, but we don't get that many chances to buy you
something. Those seeders can wait another season or
two.”

“
But, Uncle, I don't
know…”

“
What don't you know? You'd think
you had buried treasure under that bunkhouse the way you're
attached to it. As long as you're living with us, you need
someplace decent to live.” Henry's voice was firm with conviction
as if to bring the conversation to an end.

“
The thing I don't know about is how
much longer I'm going to be on this farm.” Erik almost choked on
the words as he blurted them out. It was not his intent to hurt his
uncle, and this wasn't the time, especially if the mobile home had
already been bought.

“
What do you mean? Is something the
matter? Is there something you haven't told us?” Henry was more
concerned than hurt with Erik's unexpected revelation.

“
No, nothing's wrong. I just have
plans. I was hoping … I guess hoping for a change. I've thought
before of signing up for the Havre Vo-Tech. They have a welding
degree you can get in nine months. I hear there are a lot of
openings on the West Coast for trained welders. I thought I might
check it out.” Erik didn't look Henry in the eyes as he
talked.

Erik had started to talk and he couldn't stop now.
“But I want to make sure the both of you know how much I appreciate
each of you. I won't be leaving because of you. I just need my own
life, not just my own house. I've got to get out of this wind blown
country and if I don't leave soon, I never will.”

Erik's voice raised.. He wanted to get his
explanation out as quickly as possible, as if the words stung his
throat as they were spoken. He felt bad that once again he was
refusing to accept the kindness of the Coopers. It wasn't the first
time he had turned his back on them, but others had done the same
to him. Actually, he hadn't fully thought out the move to Havre.
The offer for the trailer house had forced him to push up his
plans. He couldn't allow them to get that trailer, and the move to
Havre was the best explanation he knew. He had already thought
about it, but thinking was all he had done.

If the Coopers bought the trailer they might as well
put bars on its windows. There was no way he could leave once it
was moved to the farm. Erik was twenty-four now. If he stayed on
this farm much longer he knew he would never leave. In fact, he saw
his uncle getting older and the childless Coopers probably intended
for Erik to completely take over the farm at some point. Certainly
the Coopers would see this as a great honor to give the farm that
they loved so much to Erik, but Erik would only see it as the end
to any hope of any dreams being fulfilled.

Vo-Tech and a welding job were far from past dreams
of Erik. Once, Erik dreamt of playing football at a four-year
university that would lead to a city job with a brick house and a
nice car and a boat. The dream had seemed reasonable to him. He had
seen that house and car and boat many times in his dreams.

Now, he just wanted out.

A nine-month course at an inexpensive tech school was
the quickest way to leave Fairfield. He had convinced himself that
once out, he could do what he wanted. Working for someone else
wasn't a possibility. He didn't need another person telling him
what to do. He thought that once he graduated he could buy a van
with a portable welding unit and work for himself as a contractor.
At some point he would start his own shop, and buy his own
building. Being an owner of a welding shop was a dream worth
dreaming.

All of these plans had been only dreams in the
bunkhouse, and he didn't know if he even had the courage to leave.
Now, with the offer of the trailer, those dreams needed to fast
become reality. Erik didn't know if he was actually ready to move
to Havre, but the current conversation was forcing him to make a
choice.

Henry said, “You could have said something before I
got the loan.”

“
You could have said something to
me about getting the loan,” Erik retorted. He sighed and went on,
trying to explain. “It's just that I don't feel like I'm going
anyplace in Fairfield. There is no future for me here that I can
look forward to. I feel God would want me to do more.” Erik wasn't
sure what God wanted at that point, but the more he talked the more
he was convinced this was God's plan. “You know, this land has
never been my place. Too many things have happened here. Too many
bad things happened here for me to forget. No matter how hard I
try, it just isn't the place I want to spend my life.”

Erik hated his timing, but now that the trailer was
offered he had no choice. He looked at both his aunt and uncle, and
both were looking away. He made some excuses about work that needed
to be done and left the table. He knew that the matter wasn't
finished and after their silence, he didn't look forward to that
next conversation.

 

 

 

Chapter
Twenty-Seven

 

 

I
t wasn't
long before Erik received his acceptance letter from Havre Vo-Tech.
He was amazed that he had received an answer only a week after he
had sent in his application. He then realized that a place of this
caliber, or lack of caliber, wasn't picky about who they accepted
as long as the cash followed. Erik had mailed in the application
the day after the talk in the hopes that the Coopers would think it
had been done earlier. Actually, there had been little talk since
that first conversation. Now the letter sealed the reality of
Erik's departure. Mary and Henry seemed to be carrying out plans
for Erik's leaving without discussion. There were questions about
the farm and the harvest, but nothing about the decision itself.
They rightfully concluded that Erik had made up his mind and there
was nothing they could say to change it. It wasn't as if Erik was a
person who was free with sharing what was on his mind
anyway.