The Johnson Sisters (25 page)

 

I was devastated. I walked into my home like I was a zombie as I replayed the visual of Corey and my sister, Shauna, on the big screen together. In addition, finally dealing with accidently killing Renee was way too much for me to handle. I cried all the way home. Vivian, Serena, and even Phoenix tried really hard to make me feel better about what had happened. I appreciated them being there for me, but Shauna's words had mutilated me. She had said what I'd told myself all my life: I was not an official Johnson woman. I was one by default, created by the sins of my mother and my father.

I walked into my kitchen to see if Corey was in there, but he wasn't. Nor was he in the living room. The next place I headed was our bedroom. I needed to talk to him about what I had just found out, and I wanted answers from him. How could he want to marry me if he was doing my sister?

When I got to my door, it was closed. I turned the knob and opened it only to get one more devastating blow. Corey was in our bed with some light-skinned woman with long, bone-straight black hair. He was hitting her from the back, and across the room was the camera, taping their little sexual escapade.

When he turned to look at me, he had the audacity to smile and wave me over to join them. Was he serious right now? Could he not see my face and tell I had been crying my eyes out? If he was my man, then one, he wouldn't be doing this; and two, he would stop what he was doing to run over to me and find out why I was upset. I guessed he was so deeply enthralled with his manhood being buried in this chick's wetness that he didn't notice my mood. He never stopped his stride. Was this because the camera was on, or was this because this man was playing me and was having his cake and eating it too?

My body trembled from anger, rage, and hurt. My world was crashing down around me, and I wanted the pain to end. My mother's face popped into my mind, and in that moment, I could understand why she gave up on life. I knew why she pulled the trigger and ended it once and for all. Sometimes it was better to not deal than to struggle with things that seemed to be out of control in your life.

I walked to our master closet, dropping to my knees in front of our safe, which was on the floor in the back of the closet. Turning the dial, I put in the combination. After putting in the third number, I pulled on the handle and watched as the safe opened with ease. In there were stocks, bonds, government documents, and some cash. And also in this space was a gun.

I picked up the cold steel and lifted it out of the safe. Bringing it to my chest, I hugged it, wishing it could comfort me in my time of sorrow. Tears streamed down my cheeks as so much pent-up pain released from me. It came in tsunami waves, crashing to the core of my being. I rocked back and forth and prayed to God to instantly take this pain away from me, but He wasn't hearing me. The pain was still piercing my soul.

I struggled to stand to my feet, looking around at all the clothes and shoes in the small walk-in closet. Material things meant nothing if I wasn't happy with myself and my life. Then I looked at Corey's things and wondered how I could allow this man to degrade me like this. What was wrong with me, for me to think this was okay? I had agreed to marry him, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me why.

I swiped at my tears and looked up to the ceiling, still praying for something to happen. I needed immediate satisfaction. I turned and walked out of the closet and back into my bedroom. Corey was still going to town on the woman. He didn't notice me enter the room again. I stared at him one last time before lifting the gun.

“God forgive me.”

I pulled the trigger.

 

Aw, hell naw,
was my first thought when I walked into my home and found Juanita sitting on my couch. And who was sitting on the couch with her? Tyree. I was standing in my door with my keys in my hand, gawking at the two of them talking like they were old friends. I slammed the door, and Tyree stood to his feet.

“Hey, baby,” he said like he didn't have the enemy sitting on our sofa.

“What is she doing in our house?” I asked angrily, glaring past Tyree at Juanita, who had this same condescending smirk on her face.

“Serena, stop yelling. Nevaeh and Zamir are sleeping.”

“I don't give a damn. Tell me what is she doing in our home, Tyree?” I demanded.

“It's cool. She came to reconcile things with us,” Tyree said dumbly.

“What?”

“She came over to apologize.”

“She could have called. She didn't have to come to our home to do that.” I looked at Juanita, who stood to her feet. I said, “You do know there is still a restraining order on you, right? You don't like abiding by the law?”

“Look, Tyree, I didn't come over here for all this,” she said with an attitude.

“Serena, come on. Hear her out,” he said to me.

Was he kidding me right now? Was I his woman, or was Juanita? I put my hands on my hips and said, “Get that bitch out my house.”

“Bitch,” she said, frowning at me.

“That's right.”

“Don't get it twisted, Serena. Just because I'm pregnant with our man's baby and in your home don't mean I won't stomp that ass,” she said, bristling up.

“Juanita, cool it,” Tyree told her.

“You better tell her, Tyree,” Juanita threatened him.

Tyree looked at me like he wanted me to chill.

“You know what? Both of y'all can get the hell out my house,” I said, waving my arms and pointing to the door.

“Calm down, Serena,” Tyree urged.

“I can't believe you, Tyree. You got your baby mama up in our house after all she's done. She's threatened me and your daughter. She's had you locked up by lying, and now she wants to apologize. Well, I'm going to tell you and her, I don't accept her apology. Now get the hell out my damn house,” I yelled.

“You see. You try to do right and your trick-ass girl going to trip on me,” Juanita said to Tyree.

“Trick-ass! Let's wait to see who that baby's daddy is,” I said, pointing at her belly, “and then we will see who's been tricking.”

“Yeah, we will see. I can't wait to see your face when you find out it's Tyree's baby.”

Her words upset me because I was still trying to get over the fact that he even slept with the bitch. I thought things between us were working themselves out, but to see he had the audacity to allow Juanita in our home made me look at Tyree differently and wonder if he was really in this relationship fully with just me.

“Juanita, can you please leave?” he asked her.

“Gladly, but this will be the last time I try to work things out, Tyree,” she said, wobbling her behind to my door. “Kiss our son for me,” she said, looking at me and smirking.

Tyree looked at me knowing damn well she was egging me on by saying that. That's what that bitch did: she pushed you until you were ready to catch a damn charge from beating her ass.

Once that door shut behind her, I turned all my rage to Tyree. “What were you thinking?” Holding up my hands, I said, “Wait. You weren't. You never think. That's why she might be pregnant with your second child—because you didn't think.”

“I wanted all this tension to stop, Serena. It's been going on way too long.”

“It's been going on because she started it. She can't get it through her thick skull you guys are over. Or maybe you are not done with her. Is that it?” I asked him.

“No. We are done.”

“It doesn't seem that way to me. You seemed to be more up her ass than being on the side of the woman who just gave birth to your daughter. You live with me. You are in a relationship with me, so you should have confided in me before you allowed her to step foot in our home.”

“I tried to do a good deed for our kids.”

“That woman wanted your child dead. Does that sound like somebody I'm going to forgive anytime soon?” I asked him. “Why would I accept her apology after all she's done?” I asked him.

“I just thought—”

“Again, you weren't thinking. You could have called me to see if I even wanted to consider talking with her instead of bombarding me.”

“I'm sorry,” he apologized.

“You sure are,” I retorted angrily.

“It will never happen again,” he said.

“I know it won't, because you are getting out of here today.”

“What?” He looked at me, dumbfounded.

“Get your shit and get the hell out my home,” I said sternly.

“You joking right?” he said, laughing nervously.

“Does it look like I'm kidding?” I asked him, looking more serious than I had at Vivian's house earlier.

“So you breaking up with me?” he asked.

“Yes. I'm done with you, because I can't trust you.”

“Wow! I can't believe you right now,” he said, walking away as he started to catch an attitude himself.

“You can't believe it? I can't believe I wasted my time with you, trusting you, loving you, for you to still find another way to hurt me, Tyree.”

He leaned on the arm of the sofa, looking straight ahead. I continued.

“Give me a reason to continue this relationship, especially when I know one day I want to be married. You gave me an ultimatum before, so you know what? I've decided I'm done. I don't want to be with you anymore.”

Tyree nodded and didn't say anything. He stood and started walking to our bedroom. I followed him to see what he was doing, and sure enough, when I entered, he was pulling out his suitcase and loading clothes into it.

I chuckled, and he looked at me, asking, “What's so funny?”

“You're funny. You were fighting harder for Juanita to apologize than you are to make us work. It's bit of an eye opener for me.”

“I told you, Serena, if you want me gone, I'm not going to fight.”

“Maybe if you did, then that would show how much you want to be with me, but I guess I'm not worthy.”

“You are. I do love you.”

“You've had a funny way of showing it.”

He sighed and turned back to pack more clothes in his suitcase. Then he asked, “What about Zamir?”

“He can stay; that's if you and Juanita don't mind. There's no need to wake him. You can come pick him up tomorrow,” I told him, knowing Zamir and our daughter were the innocent ones in this mixed-up situation.

Once Tyree had the majority of his things packed, he walked to the door and placed them all there. I sat on the loveseat with my arms crossed, watching and thinking about everything that had transpired over the past few months.

“I got all my things,” he said.

“Good.”

He looked heartbroken, but I didn't care. As much as I looked like I was happy about our relationship ending, I was the heartbroken one here. I truly did love Tyree, but not enough to be used and abused by him or his baby mama.

“Are you sure about this, Serena?” he asked gloomily. “We can make this work. If you want me to marry you, I will.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I got annoyed as I looked his way. “So you mean to tell me you want to marry me now?” I asked heatedly.

“That's what you want. Isn't this why you are doing this, to scare me into marrying you?” he asked.

“You're steady revealing yourself to me.” I chuckled. “You think I'm doing this to make you marry me?”

He didn't respond.

“I'm doing this because I'm done. I am fed up with our bullshit; and for you to think I'm doing all of this so you can marry me further lets me know I'm making the right decision. Why would I want a man I had to force to be my husband? Think about what you are saying. I want a man who knows it's me he wants for the rest of his life with no doubt, and who doesn't base his future on the past of his parents,” I said with certainty.

He dropped his head when I said this.

“So please trust, I don't want to marry you. I want you gone.”

Tyree nodded as he picked up his duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder. Opening the door to leave, he picked up his suitcases.

Turning to look at me again, he said, “I love you, Serena.”

“I love you too, Tyree.”

And he was gone.

 

 

Tyree kept his word when he said he was going to drop Nevaeh off early this morning, since our daughter and I had big plans today.

“Hi, honey,” I said to my daughter, who grinned back at me. “What did Daddy get you?” I asked her, looking at her wearing a tiny gold necklace with matching bracelet and a new baby doll.

Tyree put Nevaeh down, and I watched as she took off running to her room. She looked so cute as her little head bobbed and her ponytails bounced. I smiled, amazed at how fast she was growing up.

“Thank you for dropping her off early. I know this is your weekend to have her, so if you want, you can spend some time with her tomorrow,” I told him.

“It's okay. I will see her on Wednesday. I'm going to let her enjoy this happy occasion with you,” he said coolly.

I thought after Tyree and I broke up that we were going to have issues with him wanting to see her and him not taking his responsibility seriously by paying me child support for Nevaeh. To my surprise, we'd worked things out between ourselves. Like adults, we talked and agreed that Tyree would get to spend time with his daughter every other weekend and every Wednesday. Concerning support, Tyree gave me $200 a month for her, and if I ever needed more from him, he didn't have any issue giving me what I needed. Plus, he brought her things all the time.

“You know she didn't need any jewelry, Tyree. She might break it.”

“It's okay. I think it looks cute on her.”

“It does,” I said.

“You look beautiful,” he complimented me.

“Thank you.”

It was weird feeling awkward around the man I once loved and had a child with, but a lot had changed. When I kicked Tyree out of my place, I meant what I said by never allowing him back in my life. Concerning our daughter I had to deal with him, but pertaining to any intimate relationship between us, it never crossed that line after that day. Trust me; he wanted it to. Just the way he looked at me let me know he wanted me at times. Like now.

“Congratulations. I heard you and Juanita were getting married,” I said.

Tyree dropped his head as he shifted uneasily. He couldn't marry me, but he proposed to the woman who made his life a living hell. I guess misery loves company. I was happy for them. I mean really, I was truly happy for him.

Tyree stuttered to say something, but I said, “It's okay, Tyree. I'm not mad,” I told him.

“I knew you would find out eventually,” he said. “I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you.”

“You don't owe me an explanation.”

“But I feel like I do,” he said.

I giggled and said, “Tyree, it's okay. I'm happy for you. I know Juanita is happy too,” I said.

“She is.”

It was funny how Tyree went back to the very woman who caused so much turmoil in our relationship. Juanita got what she wanted, which was her children's father. Yes, the baby Juanita had did turn out to be Tyree's baby. She gave birth to another boy and they named him Shamar.

“Hey, baby, which tie do you think I should wear today?” my boyfriend said, walking into the living room holding up a red-and-black tie and a gray-and-blue tie.

“I like the gray-and-blue one. I think it's going to look better with your suit.”

“What's up, Tyree?” my new man, Dorian, said.

Tyree nodded but didn't speak. I found this funny, because I could clearly see he had an issue with me moving on. I don't know why he had a problem. He made his choices and was with the person he wanted to be with. He had seven months to get used to seeing Dorian around. Dorian hadn't moved in with me, but he stayed over some nights. He had stayed over the night before because we had big plans, plus I didn't have Nevaeh, which gave us some time to spend alone with each other. We agreed to keep living separately to see how things went between us, and fortunately Dorian was a wonderful guy.

“I'm going to take my shower,” Dorian said.

“Okay.”

Dorian left the room. I turned to see Tyree clenching his jaw. He rubbed his head in annoyance and said, “I guess I should be going.”

“Thank you again for switching weekends. I'll see you Wednesday,” I said.

“Yes. I'll be here around six.”

“Sounds great,” I said, walking around him to open the door.

Tyree proceeded to walk out of the door but stopped directly in front of me, looking like he wanted to say something. When his face shifted, I knew he wasn't going to say whatever was on his mind.

“Good-bye, Tyree.”

He pushed his full lips together before saying, “Good-bye, Serena.”