The Johnson Sisters (18 page)

 

“Where's the waiter? I need a drink,” Phoenix said sardonically.

“You can't drink if you are going to take that medication when you get home. Are you trying to kill yourself?” Serena asked.

“Hell naw. I love myself too much to hurt me.”

“Then it's either drinking or relaxers later. Pick one,” Serena said, finally getting herself together.

“I choose drinks, please. I'm going to need it to get through this dinner,” Phoenix admitted as she turned to find the waiter.

I wondered where he was also. It wasn't like this place was packed.

“Waiter,” Phoenix yelled, holding her hand up for him to come over.

I hit Phoenix on her arm to stop her from yelling across the room, but she looked at me with a frown and kept waving her hand frantically until she got his attention to come over.

“Yes, ma'am. Can I help you?” the waiter asked.

“Yes. I would like a glass of Moscato, please. Better yet, if you have a bottle, I would prefer that in a bucket of ice. I'm going to need it,” Phoenix told him.

“Yes, I can get that for you. Can I get you ladies anything else?” he asked. “Are you ready to order?”

“Yes, can we get the menus please?” I said.

“Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry about that. I will bring everything to you in a few minutes,” he said, walking away.

“Hey,” Shauna said, walking up to the table, surprising us.

We didn't see her approaching since we were too busy trying to get Phoenix's wine and our menus so we could order.

“It's about time, Ms. Thang,” Phoenix said.

“Look who's talking, the one who's always late,” Shauna said, giggling.

“I'm not late today. I beat you here.”

“All because of me,” Serena murmured.

Shauna walked around and gave each of us a hug, which was unusual for her, because Shauna didn't give hugs. “Sorry I'm late. I just got off of work and I had to run home and get those stinky clothes off of me.”

“You're fine,” I said. “Phoenix just ordered some wine and we are still waiting for Dawn to arrive.”

“If she arrives,” Shauna mumbled.

“She said she was coming,” I countered.

“I'll believe it when I see it,” Phoenix retorted.

The waiter brought over the menus and the wine Phoenix requested. She and Shauna didn't waste any time pouring themselves a glass and downing their Moscato like it was the last one they were ever going to have.

Serena and I eyed one another knowing this was not good. Yes, things were going okay for the moment, but once alcohol was introduced into any situation, especially ours, it tended to change the mood of things. I knew if my two sisters kept downing that wine like they were, their lips would become loose and things were going to come out in the crudest ways.

“Okay, y'all. We are going to get along tonight. This tiff we've had going on for the past few weeks has to end. We are sisters,” Serena blurted. “I want to enjoy our evening. I need this.”

“Me too. We might not always agree, but we still have to love one another,” I said.

“Are y'all done with the ‘can't we all just get along' speech? I'm hungry and I'm ready to order,” Phoenix said.

“Don't you think we should wait until Dawn gets here?” I asked.

“No.” She looked at me with a scowl. “Because I don't think she's going to show. She's already late.”

“She's only twenty minutes late.”

“Come on, Viv. We are talking about Dawn here. You know, the one who never likes to be late to anything. If she wanted to be here, she would have been here already,” Phoenix countered.

She had a point. Punctuality should be Dawn's middle name.

“So I'm getting ready to order my food,” Phoenix said, picking up her menu. “And if she does show up, then we can get down to business.”

Just then my cell phone rang. My sisters looked at me. Shauna gave me the look like, “That's her.” When I looked down at my cell, Dawn's face was on the screen and my stomach sank.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Vivian,” Dawn spoke.

“Hey, girl. Where are you? The gang's all here and we are waiting on you to show up.”

“Aw. I'm sorry, Vivian, but I'm not going to be able to make it,” Dawn said.

My sisters stared in my face, knowing exactly what she was telling me.

“Why?” I asked pitifully.

Phoenix threw her hands in the air like, “I told you so.” I frowned for her to quit it.

“I forgot about a dinner date Corey set up for us tonight. If it weren't for that, I would be there,” she said.

I felt like she was making excuses, but I continued to be as nice as I could. “Okay, I understand.”

“But we will get up, I promise,” she said cheerfully. “And I promise I will double check my schedule to make sure, okay,” Dawn said.

“Okay.”

We both hung up. My sisters were still staring at me.

Phoenix said, “Told you.”

“But she told me she was coming,” I said with disappointment. “I didn't want to believe she would bail on us.”

“I can believe it. I mean, come on, Viv, the last time we got together, it was damn near a knockdown, drag-out fight. Dawn is not ready to face us after everything that went down,” Serena said.

“What was her excuse?” Phoenix asked.

“She said she had a previous engagement with Corey,” I revealed hesitantly, knowing what my sisters' reactions would be.

“You know that's a bunch of bull, right?” Phoenix asked. “She could have cancelled being with Corey to be with us. Dag, she's getting ready to spend the rest of her life with him. What's one night for a couple of hours with us?”

“I want this fixed. She's getting married soon. I think we should be there to support her marriage,” I said.

“I told you how I felt about it,” Shauna said.

“You can't swallow your pride and give in just this once? This is our sister's first marriage.”

“I bet you it won't be her last,” Phoenix joked.

“Regardless, we should support her,” I urged.

“Okay, Viv. You have finally talked me into it. I will support Dawn and go to her wedding,” Shauna said, shocking me.

I knew she was going to be the hardest one to convince about going, so it did stun me that she agreed so easily now. I thought I would be trying to convince her all the way up to the day of the wedding.

“You will?” I said, excited. “And what about you guys?” I asked.

“I'm willing to go,” Serena said.

“Phoenix,” I called her.

“I don't know.”

“If Shauna can come, so can you,” Serena said.

Phoenix looked at Shauna, who was staring her down. She said, “Okay, I will go.”

I clapped my hands with excitement. “That's great. I'm so glad you guys are going to do this.”

“I'm not going to be happy about it. I still don't like Corey,” Shauna admitted.

“Can we not talk about them since they are not here? Can we talk about something I'm going through right now?” Phoenix asked.

“Sure, anything for the almighty Phoenix,” Serena said teasingly.

“Thanks, sis. Let me tell y'all about what the hell is going on with me. I got a man living with me.”

“You finally snagged Tyson Beckford?” Shauna said, causing laughter around the table.

Phoenix had always said there wasn't a man on earth who could ever move in with her, unless he was Tyson Beckford. I didn't think Phoenix met that hunk of a man yet. If she had, I was going home with her just to gawk at that delectable piece of chocolate.

“I wish. More like Tyson Weakford. I knew I shouldn't have slept with this man. My poon-poon was too good for him to handle, and now he's lost his damn mind in the wonders of me and won't leave my house.”

“What do you mean he won't leave your house? It's your house, right?” Shauna asked.

“Hell yeah,” Phoenix answered with an attitude, and I could tell the headache was subsiding and the Moscato was taking effect.

“Did you call the cops?” Shauna asked.

“I did. But don't you know they couldn't make him leave my house.”

We all frowned. It was her house, so how could the cops not make this man leave? Things weren't making sense to me, but Phoenix went on explaining her dilemma.

“This man convinced them he had been living with me and they couldn't remove him because he had tenant rights.”

“Now that's a hot mess,” Serena said, taking a sip of her water.

“I know, right? I had to go down to the courthouse and file an eviction notice, which means this man can be in my house from three to six months until this thing is resolved.”

“Wow!” Shauna said in amazement.

“I've done everything possible to get him to leave. I've asked him nicely. I've cussed his ass out. I've ignored him. I've had other men over to flaunt in his face. I've even slept with other men, screaming like it's so good to me just so he can hear me, and he still hasn't budged,” Phoenix explained with frustration. She picked up her glass and took another sip of her wine.

“What did he say about your passionate screams?” I asked, smirking.

“He told me he wanted to be next.”

We burst into laughter, and for once it felt like old times.

“Hearing me moaning and groaning only made him horny for me. He had the audacity to tell me he has jerked off a couple of times listening to me having sex.”

“What did you say to that?” Shauna asked.

“I cussed him out. He just stood there grinning and had the nerve to get a hard on right there in front of me while I was screaming on his ass.”

“Did you give him some?” Shauna asked teasingly.

Laughter exuded from the table again.

“Hell naw,” Phoenix said loudly. “Something is wrong with him. I ignore him and the man makes me a five-course dinner. I scream louder and the man buys me gifts, along with jerking off in my spare bedroom. The more I do to him, the more he seems to want me.”

“Well, have you thought about giving in?” I asked, knowing the answer. “Maybe he's the one for you.”

“What's wrong with you, Vivian? I mean really. Have I ever committed myself to one man?” she asked.

“It was—” Shauna started to say, but Phoenix held up one finger to shush her.

“We must never discuss him. He's my past, and I'm talking about my present life. Since the name that shall remain dead among us, have I committed to a relationship?”

“No,” I said along with Shauna and Serena shaking their heads.

“Now then, y'all know me. He's going to know me too if he don't get the hell up out of my house.”

“He sounds like somebody crazy,” Shauna said.

“Damn right. What rock did you find him under?” Serena asked.

“No rocks. I don't deal with men coming from under rocks. He owns his own business,” Phoenix explained.

“Was he at least good in bed when you slept with him?” Shauna asked noisily.

“I'm not going to lie,” Phoenix said, holding up both her hands in the air. “He may be a dork and get on my nerves, but the man can lay some pipe. Looking at him you can't tell he has anything, but get him excited and that man has dick for days,” Phoenix described.

“I don't see the problem. He lets you do what you want. He buys you what you want. The man is packing and he has money.”

“Not the type of money I need to take care of me for life,” I returned.

“He has money,” Shauna repeated, “and his own busi-nessm and he has good dick. Isn't that what you've always wanted in a man?”

“Shauna is right. No one has had those traits since . . .”

Phoenix glared at me with warning to not say her past lover's name.

“Why can't we say Noah? What's the big deal?” Shauna said, being defiant like I knew she would.

“Because,” Phoenix finally spoke, but hearing his name caused her to get choked up.

“Because what?” Shauna asked.

“Look, y'all don't know what I've been through with that man,” she said with hurt feelings.

“We know he hurt you,” I said.

“No!” she said, pointing at me. “He did more than hurt me. Look, I told you all I don't want to hear his name, and I damn sure don't want to talk about my past.”

Seeing Phoenix's mood change so drastically did make me wonder what else could have happened. I saw she was more like me than I thought. We were good at putting up a front, but beneath the surface lay a lot of pain. I knew Phoenix acted like she did to cover up something, but I never knew what that something was.

The skeletons beneath our surfaces were more than I could imagine, and I wondered, would I and my sisters ever get to a place of dealing with all of the demons that were slowly creeping their way into our lives?

 

My head was still pounding when I got home. It was dark outside and I still wore my shades to shield my eyes from the light that intensified the hammering in my head. I thought the couple of bottles of Moscato I drank with Shauna would ease the throbbing at my temples, but it did nothing. The pain had moved down to between my eyes, which meant this was only going to get worse.

When I walked into the house, I heard Tobias in the kitchen doing something. At this point, I didn't care. I was going upstairs to my bedroom, closing my door, and getting in my bed to call it a night. I knew I promised my sisters I wouldn't take my muscle relaxers just so I could drink wine, but I had to. The pain was too much to bear right now.

The reason why I probably had this migraine at all was from the stress of dealing with Tobias in my house. I wanted him gone, and the more I thought about him walking around here like he owned the place, the more ticked off I got about it. Talk about making my life miserable. I knew as soon as he left my migraine would leave too. I hadn't had one of these headaches in over a year, and then it was when I was ending my relationship with Noah.

The thought of him made my temples throb even more. I stripped out of my clothes, dropping them to the floor until I had nothing on. My curtains were already pulled closed, and the only light I had on in the room was from the lamp on my nightstand. I couldn't wait to turn that off. I needed darkness as soon as possible, but I needed to take my pill first.

Reaching in the third drawer of my dresser, I pulled out the relaxers. Pouring two into my hand, I paused, thinking it may not be a good idea to take two since I was taking these after drinking. I put one back, put the top back on the bottle, and walked to my bathroom. I turned the light on without thinking, and the illumination caused pain to radiate through my head. I quickly turned it back off. Tossing the pill into my mouth, I turned the faucet on and cupped my hand under the cold water. I bent down and sucked the water into my mouth. I knew I should have used a cup, but I didn't have one in there and I wasn't about to go downstairs to my kitchen to get one. This would have to do. Swallowing the pill and water, I cut the water off. I dried my hands and made my way to my bed.

Clicking the light off, I climbed under my sheets and comforter, turning to my right side to lie down. It felt so good to be in the dark. I couldn't wait for the pill to take effect.

As soon as I could feel myself drift off, I heard a slight tap at my door. I ignored it. There was another knock, along with my door being opened. I knew this because my dark room was now lit by the light coming from the hallway.

“What!” I yelled, reaching for the pillow on the other side of my bed and putting it over my head for darkness to return.

“Are you okay, Phoenix?” Tobias asked.

“No!”

“Do you need me to do anything for you?”

“Yes. I need you to get out my house and stop stressing me out to the point of me getting migraines again,” I told him through the pillow.

I heard the door shut and came from under the pillow, breathing a lot better. I never opened my eyes. I began to think about how my life had turned so drastically wrong. Then Noah came to my mind, and the thought of him caused water to well up in my eyes.

Noah was my fiancé, who I was with for six years. I knew this man was the one for me. I ate, drank, and slept me some Noah. I truly did love this man with everything in me and thought he loved me the same. That was until he came home one day to tell me he was moving to Italy.

Now, mind you, when he said he was moving, I was hearing
we
were moving to Italy. I was jumping up and down happy that my baby got another promotion that allowed him to move to a different location to work. He was one of the top marketing representatives in his firm, and his bank account proved it.

Please know that when I was with Noah, I wasn't this money-hungry woman I was today. I came from a background of humble beginnings. I knew I wanted better than how I came up, but I never imagined meeting someone like Noah and living the life his hard work provided.

We lived in this two-story brick colonial with five bedrooms, three-car garage, large kitchen with granite countertops and island. Our bedroom was huge, with a separate sitting area for reading and two walk-in closets and an immaculate master bath. He drove a Hummer and I drove a black Range Rover. When he asked me to marry him, he got down on one knee in front of all my family, sliding a four-carat diamond ring on my finger. I had the life and the perfect man, or so I thought. We were engaged for seven months with me planning this extravagant wedding. Even though Noah was the main breadwinner, I had a job, too, bringing in more money. My money wasn't what he was making, but I was a woman who liked to share in the finances also.

My imaginary world came crashing down when Noah revealed to me that we weren't moving. He was going to Italy without me.

“So you are going to go set up and send for me?” I had asked stupidly with his hands in mine.

“No, Phoenix. I mean, I'm going alone.”

“You are coming back for the wedding, right?”

He paused, looking down.

“Right, Noah?” I asked with the smile on my face now disappearing.

“I'm not coming back at all, which means we are not having a wedding.”

I let go of his hands like they were on fire, saying, “What do you mean there isn't going to be a wedding?”

“Phoenix, I've met someone else.”

“What? What do you mean you met someone else?”

“I've fallen in love with someone else,” he admitted to me boldly.

“How can you fall for someone else when you are with me? We are supposed to get married in a couple of months, Noah.”

“I'm sorry you had to find out like this. No time would have been the right time to tell you. When I got this job offer, I knew this was the right time.”

“So is she going with you?” I asked, distraught.

“Yes.”

“Are you serious right now?” I yelled. “You are leaving me for someone else after you asked me to marry you, and you're moving her with you to Italy?”

“I'm so sorry about this.”

“When are you leaving?” I asked him.

“I leave in two weeks.”

“How can you leave me for her, first of all? And how are you going to leave me here to have to explain to everyone the wedding is off?”

“I've already told my family,” he admitted. “My family knows exactly what's been going on and what my plans are.”

“They know?” I asked vehemently.

“Yes. You were the only one left I needed to tell.”

Putting my hands on my hips, I was in shock at his audacity. Not only was he standing here telling me he was moving to the other side of the world with another trick, but he'd already told his family our wedding was off. I was the last to know.

“I already have someone who's willing to buy this house and my car. You can keep yours,” he told me.

“Oh. Is that my consolation prize for giving you over six years of my life?”

“If you want to look at it like that, then that's fine.”

The look on his face was so callous, yet it still felt like he was not telling me something. I knew Noah like the back of my hand, but then I guess I didn't if I hadn't seen this coming. I thought he was happy with me. Maybe I was too caught up in planning our wedding to pay attention and see this man was cheating on me.

“What aren't you telling me?” I asked him through squinted eyes.

He sighed.

“Tell me, Noah.”

“Emma is pregnant with my son.”

I dropped to my knees right there where I stood. It felt like he had punched me in my stomach with that news. “A boy. Pregnant,” I said, trying to process the information.

“Yes,” he said softly.

“Emma. So that's her name. Forget that. It doesn't even matter. What matters is you're bringing her up like she's important.”

“She is to me,” he admitted.

“You say her name so freely, like that's supposed to sit well with me.”

“What else am I supposed to call her?”

“How about bitch? Whore? Slut, even? She did break up this relationship.”

“I broke this up. This was my choice, so don't blame her. If you want to blame anyone, blame me only, but leave her out of this.”

I couldn't believe him. Now he was taking up for her. I shook my head in disgust. “How do you know it's a boy? How far along is she?”

“She's six and a half months.”

I dropped my head in grief. Was he kidding me right now?

“Ever since I found out you couldn't have kids . . .”

I looked up at him and shot daggers his way, causing him to pause. “I can't have kids because you wanted me to get an abortion!” I screamed with tears running down my face. “You begged me to do that for you because you weren't ready for children. I told you we could make it work, but you kept on insisting we wait. So I listened and did what you asked.”

“How was I supposed to know there were going to be complications from the procedure?”

“You never should have asked me to do something like that. I was killing my child for you,” I yelled through tears. “Now you want to backpedal and leave me because of the complications, which ruined our chances of ever having children?” I spat.

“I eventually wanted kids, Phoenix. You knew this,” he said coldly.

“And now that I can't give you what you want, you move on to the next trick,” I said. “I guess the timing was perfect this time. You asked me to kill my child because it wasn't the right time, but Emma is getting ready to give birth, and now it's the right time.”

“Phoenix, I told you I'm sorry.”

“Do you really think an apology is going to lessen my ache and humiliation, Noah? You are standing here telling me you are leaving me for your pregnant girlfriend when just one year ago I got rid of our child for you. It's like you are punishing me because I did what you asked me to do and now I can't have kids.”

“I'm sorry if it's coming off that way.”

“Why did you ask me to marry you?” I asked angrily.

“Because at the time I did want to marry you. I wasn't planning on meeting Emma, but when I did and she got pregnant, I realized I had a second chance.”

“A second chance. You had a second chance. What about my second chance, Noah? You took that away from me,” I said, pointing at him.

“You made the final choice, Phoenix. I couldn't make you do anything you didn't want to do yourself,” he retorted.

I jumped up from my knees and lunged for him. I punched, scratched, and even bit into Noah's flesh. I didn't know what else to do. Any way I could get this anger out of me, I was willing to do it. I knew if I had a gun in my hands, I would have shot him dead without even blinking an eye.

That man hurt me more than anyone knew. As far as my sisters knew, Noah called off the wedding and moved away for his job. They knew nothing about this other woman who was pregnant with his child, and they didn't know about me having an abortion and not being able to have children of my own. I played the role, acting like I never wanted kids, but if they only knew the truth. I did want children. I wanted at least three, and I thought those children would be by Noah. That's what I got for having faith in a man. I should have known from my own father's past that men couldn't be trusted.

Every day of my life I felt like I was being punished for taking a life. This was God's punishment for me not going with the order of things and interfering with what God set forth for me. But Noah got to go on with life, with a new woman and a baby who should have been ours. Was I bitter? Hell yes. Was I hurt? More than you could ever imagine.

So now I was the scornful Phoenix who used men like Noah used me. He left me with a vehicle and some money, but that was nothing compared to the scar he left on my heart and my womb. Ever since he did that to me, I promised myself I would never love another man again.