The Heart of Mine (11 page)

Kayla never came back that day. I sat in that room alone, waiting for my one true love to come back to me, but it never happened. I knew how hard this was on her, but I never imagined that she could just leave me.

Kayla

I was released from the hospital a short while after visiting Madison. I made the appropriate phone calls to his grandmother and to my grandparents, and then I sat in the waiting room awaiting their arrival. I didn't count anything this time. Actually, numbers were the last things running through my mind. My thoughts were consumed with how I was going to live without him. How I was going to have to raise our baby all on my own, and how I would have to rely solely on myself.

I had no tears left to cry, but when I saw Joey come rushing through those sliding glass doors, a few found their way out of my eyes. I ran to him full force, holding nothing back. He was who I had needed by my side this entire time, but not once thought of calling.

"Well isn't that quite the hello." His strong arms wrapped tightly around my mid section and I winced at the pain that shot through me.

"Not so hard, Jo. You know there's a baby in there, right?" I smiled. For the first time in what felt like weeks, I smiled. A true, heartfelt smile.

"Yes, I'm well aware." His smile faded into a frown quicker than anything I had ever witnessed.

I playfully smacked his arm, noticing the increase in size from the last time we had any physical interaction.

"I'm so sorry, Kayla. I wish I could take all your pain away. I wish I could be the man that you see in him, and more than anything, I wish I could be your saving grace, and hers." His hand fell to my tiny belly that was now beginning to show.

My hand fell down, covering his trying to pull in his strength that I so needed. "What makes you so sure it's a girl?"

He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Because I can imagine a miniature version of you runnin' around, clear as day."

We locked eyes for a few moments. Our stare was finally broken when I heard a man next to us clearing his throat. When I turned, I saw my grandfather standing there, waiting for me to acknowledge him. I quickly turned and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. I breathed in his scent. I breathed in all of him. I felt safe and wanted.

"Hello Joey. Can you please give us a minute?" His tone of voice was curt and a bit snide and I knew exactly how he was reacting after seeing our interaction. No one could ever take Madison's place, and I would never try to replace him.

"Granddad, give him a break. He just came for support."

"I know exactly what he came for, KJ, and support isn't it."

"For cryin' out loud Granddad, Madison is still alive. I know this. I will never give up hope that he will come back to me, to us. Joey is just a welcome support system that I so desperately need at the moment. Please understand that."

"KJ, you are all we have left, you and our unborn grandchild, and I will not allow some
boy
to get in between the love that man upstairs has for you. Let's go home."

I nodded in agreement and started to make my way towards the exit. I glanced back one last time at Joey, as he stood there watching me leave. His face was perplexed and I knew exactly how he felt. I couldn't deny the pull that was present between the two of us, but it was nothing compared to the pull I had with Madison.

I gave an apologetic wave as I followed my granddad out to his truck. As I jumped inside, guilt struck me like a ton of bricks. I shouldn't be leaving. I should be by Madison's side every second of every day, just in case he finally woke up. I felt the guilt of not even seeing his grandmother before I left and I couldn't help but wonder how she was dealing with all of this.

It was late, or early when we got home, however you wanted to look at it, but either way I was in need of sleep. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was off to a dream induced sleep, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape the overwhelming thoughts of Madison.

In my dream, he was running away from me. I reached out for him and called his name repeatedly, but not once did he turn to acknowledge my presence. I kept running faster and faster, and I almost caught up to him, but when he eventually turned around, it was Joey's face I saw, not Madison's and he was holding a baby girl. My hands instinctively reached out for the child that I knew was mine and she smiled. My heart was overwhelmed with joy and the only people around to witness my elation were my baby girl and Joey Green.

I woke with a jolt, sitting straight up in my bed and grasping at my burgeoning belly. It took a few minutes for me to catch my breath, but as my heartbeat slowed and my breathing evened out, I reached for my phone to check the time. I had literally slept the day away. It was now six o'clock at night and I found myself in a state of panic. I needed to shower and get back to the hospital as quick as my feet and truck would take me.

I tried to let the warm water wash away the nightmare I had been living, but it wasn't possible. I let my warm salty tears mix with the warm trickling water of my shower, as I found it in myself to accept that I may have to live my life without Madison. I dressed extremely slow and made sure that I looked the best I could for him. Whether or not he could see me or even feel my presence, I wanted him to know that
this
would not defeat me.

It would only hurt him more if I chose to give up. I applied a minimal amount of lip gloss and mascara before I exited the bathroom and pulled on each boot. I was wearing his favorite outfit today, the only one that pretty much fit anymore. The yellow and white stripes accentuated my growing breasts and I knew if Madison was able to speak, he would make some crass remark that would eventually lead to sex and my heart began to hurt.

I pushed aside all thoughts of the intimacy I longed to feel with him, long enough to make my way downstairs to eat a bite of dinner. When I reached the bottom step, the first person that came into view was Lydia. I couldn't help running to her and holding on to every fiber of her being. It was as though a piece of Madison sat deep within her, and a feeling of love took over my every move.

"Look at you, honey. That belly of yours gets bigger every time I see you. Pregnancy agrees with you, my dear." I stood back as her fragile fingers encircled my belly, stroking it back and forth. "She's gonna look just like you."

I smiled down at Madison's grandmother, wishing she was wrong. I wanted a boy. A little boy that would look exactly like the father he may never know. I needed that to go on. I needed a piece of him left with me, if he was going to no longer be with me.

I grabbed a corn muffin from the counter and gathered my things.

"And where do you think you're goin'?"

My granddad should understand where and what I was doin'. He was acting out of character and I couldn't figure out why, until I saw Joey standin' in our doorway.

"I'm goin' to the hospital. I'll be home later."

I didn't wait for a response before I made my way over to Joey. "Thank you." I whispered in his direction.

"Anything I can do to help."

Madison

I could smell her the minute she walked through the elevator doors. Her strawberry scent assaulted my nose and I smiled internally. After the events of yesterday, I was afraid she wouldn't come back. I was afraid she would no longer want me in the current state I was in.

What I didn't expect was for Joey Green, to come strutting through the door with her. I looked past Joey and straight at my wife-to-be one day. She was wearing my favorite sundress and boots and if I wasn't in a vegetative state, I'm pretty sure certain parts of me would have reacted in an appropriate manor. Her belly was getting bigger by the day and her dress did absolutely nothing to hide it anymore. She looked beyond words. I wanted to reach out and pull her into me. I needed to feel her warm skin against mine.

She pressed her hand against Joey's chest and I couldn't help but notice the way he reacted to her. We were gonna have some serious issues when I finally woke the fuck up, if he kept up his "friendly" ways.

He hesitantly backed out of the room, leavin' just the two of us. Her long beautiful brown hair was curled and pulled to one side, showin' off that long beautiful neck I longed to lay my lips upon. Her small hand slid into mine and my hand reacted involuntarily. I watched as her face lit up with joy, exactly as my grandmother's had. She glanced up at my face, waiting for it to react the same. When a couple minutes had passed and there was no response, I couldn't help the disappointment that washed over me as she realized it was just a fluke reaction.

A stray tear fell down her cheek, but her finger was quick to brush it away. I wanted to be the one to wipe it away. I wanted to be the one that was comforting her.

"I wore your favorite dress today." She whispered. "I know you can't see me in it, but my belly is gettin' too big for any of my other clothes." As her eyes made contact with my solemn expressionless face, I wanted to cry. "Madison, I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I'd like to think so. I need you to know somethin'. I received a text message awhile back, but I didn't know who it came from, so I didn't tell you. I think now would be the time. Let me find it."

She dug through her purse in search of her phone. When she was done scrolling through the million texts I'm sure she had received over the last few weeks, she took in a deep breath, and I knew this wasn't goin' to be good.

"It came from an unknown number, but this is what it says.
'Being a whore that's knocked up and you don't even know who the father is, doesn't make you a good person. Someone should teach you a lesson, one with fatal consequences.
' Like I said, I have no idea who sent it, but the only person that comes to mind is dead. I haven't received anything since, but I'm scared Madison."

Fear and rage were the only emotions I could feel at the moment. She needed to tell Joey. He was the only other person who knew the situation and what I had done. My fingers twitched around hers again, but this time she had no reaction. I could feel myself gettin' closer to bein' awake. I could feel myself fighting the hardest I had ever fought for anything in my life. If my father and Wren could do this to me, there was no tellin' what they were willing to do to Kayla and our unborn child. I needed to save her.

A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door and Kayla quickly jumped up to answer it. Glenn and Cami walked through the door and immediately took one look at me and embraced Kayla. My heart felt lighter knowin' that my best friend and hers were finally here to take care of my pretty girl.

Glenn let go of the girls and made his way to my bedside. He looked back at them, letting them know he needed a minute alone and they happily obliged. I watched as the love of my life walked from the room, glancing back at me one last time.

"Hey man. I know you can hear me, so listen up real good. I need you to know that Joey has filled me in on
everything
. Before I couldn't have understood what you did. But now that I have Cami, I completely get it. I would've done the same to protect my girl. I just wish it ‘d worked. Joey told me about the night of the accident. I just want you to know that we're workin' on things. We're gonna look out for you and Kayla. This is all gonna work out, bro. I also spoke to the record label, they have postponed all of the contracts and shows and have no problem waitin' until you get better to proceed. I miss ya man. We need ya back. All of us. I know you don't have a say in all of this, but I need ya to fight."

The door opened a minute later, and in walked my pretty girl followed by Cami and Joey. I wanted to hate him, I really did, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He really had my back. He involved his brother to help get my dad and Wren and he was takin' care of my girl the best he could, knowin' she wasn't his to have. I found myself havin' more respect for the kid than I thought possible.

Cami came over and said her hellos. She also whispered in my ear that if I wasn't awake by the time this baby was born, that she would have my balls on a platter, and I didn't doubt her for a second. She was feisty and I could only imagine what that girl was capable of.

Joey was next to ask for a minute with me, and the rest of the gang left the room, everyone except for Kayla. Before he began speaking he noticed her lingering by the door and he rolled his eyes knowin' she wasn't leavin'.

"Joey Green, I swear to god if you don't tell me what the hell is goin' on right this second, I will hurt you in ways you never thought possible."

I smiled internally knowin' that she was serious and if Joey was smart, he would fill her in on everything. Although I feared the wrath of my pretty girl, I feared more that she was in danger. This was the moment I prayed that Joey would prove his worth and have my back.

"Kayla come sit down, you're makin' me nervous."

"I should make you nervous." She smiled, but obliged and sat in the chair that Joey had pulled up next to his.

"You're not gonna like this story, I'll just warn you now."

"I'm pretty sure we're past that. Tell me, now!"

"Wren is still alive."

God, nothin' like cuttin' to the chase, Joey. I would have handled it with a bit more finesse, but I guess that was the difference between Joey and me. I was always tryin' to protect Kayla, and he was as bluntly honest as possible.