The Healing (15 page)

“I do think you need to talk to them, but right now what they need is a woman’s gentle touch.” Titus motioned for Samuel to take a seat. “And I think you and I need to talk.”

“About what?”

“Sit down, and I’ll tell you what’s on my mind.”

Samuel wasn’t used to having his younger brother tell him what to do, and it kind of irked him. But since he was beholden to Titus for allowing him and the children to stay with him, he figured he’d better at least listen when Titus said he wanted to talk.

He returned to the bale of straw and leaned his head against the wall behind him, figuring he was probably in for a long lecture about what a rotten father he was. Well, he felt like a rotten father, so he might as well admit it.

“I forgot it was Marla’s birthday today, and I gave her the cup so she wouldn’t know I’d forgotten,” Samuel said.

“I figured as much.” Titus pulled a piece of straw from the bale of hay he sat upon and stuck it between his teeth. “I wanted to suggest that unless you can find something of Elsie’s that’s not breakable, you probably should wait until Marla’s older to give her more of Elsie’s things.”

“I’ve already come to that conclusion.” Samuel groaned and slapped the side of his head. “I’m not a good daed anymore.”

“You are a good dad,” Titus said. “You’re just dealing with your own grief, and I don’t think you realize how much your kinner are hurting.”

“They don’t act like it. They carry on like they don’t even miss their mamm.”

“Do you remember what it was like when you lost your real mother?”

“Jah, I do.”

“How old were you when she died?”

Samuel shrugged. “I was pretty young—maybe seven or eight, and I missed her a lot—especially at first, but I kept it pretty much to myself.”

“How’d Dad deal with it?”

“He didn’t talk much about Mama—at least not to me. Things didn’t get a whole lot better till he met Mama Fannie and they decided to get married.”

“Maybe you ought to think of getting married again.”

Samuel’s face heated, and his whole body tensed. “I’ve told you before—I’ll never love anyone the way I did Elsie, so I won’t be gettin’ married again!”

O
n a Friday morning in the middle of March, Timothy knew the minute he stepped into his parents’ house that his mother had been doing some baking. The delicious aroma of ginger and cinnamon wafted up to his nose, causing his mouth to water.

“Is that gingerbread I smell?” he asked when he entered the kitchen and found Mom bent over the oven door.

She whirled around, nearly dropping the pan in her hands. “Ach, Timothy! You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that!”

“I wasn’t sneakin’,” he said with a grin. “I’m surprised my noisy boots didn’t alert you to the fact that someone was coming.”

“I did hear some clomping but thought it was your daed.”

“Nope. After we came in from the fields, Dad went out to the barn to feed the horses.” Timothy sniffed deeply and pointed to the pan she held. “That looks like gingerbread.”

“You’re right; it is.” She placed a cooling rack on the counter and set the pan of bread on top of it. “Would you like some after it cools?”

He smacked his lips. “Sounds good to me.”

“Are you and your daed done for the day, or just taking a break?” Mom asked.

“We’re finished. The ground’s too wet to get much plowing done. Guess that’s to be expected when spring finally comes.” He went to the cupboard, took out a glass, and filled it with water. “Mind if I ask you a question, Mom?”

She motioned to one of the chairs at the table. “Have a seat and ask away.”

Timothy set his glass down on the table and seated himself. “Do you think it’s normal for a married woman to spend more time with her mother than she does her husband?”

“I assume you’re talking about Hannah?” Mom asked, taking a seat across from him.

He gave a nod. “As I’ve told you before, it seems like every time I turn around, Hannah’s either over at her mamm’s or her mamm’s at our place.”

“She and Sally do seem to be very close.”

“Jah, but you and Abby are close, and she’s not over here all the time.”

“That’s true. Abby’s husband and children come first, and if I thought she was spending more time with me than them, I’d say something about it.”

Timothy grunted. “I doubt Hannah’s mamm would ever say anything to Hannah about her not spending enough time with me. Fact is, I think Sally would have preferred that Hannah stay single and livin’ at her parents’ home for the rest of her life.”

Mom waved away the idea with her hand. “I don’t think it’s that bad, son.”

“Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but I think Hannah and her mamm are too close, and I wish there was some way I could stop it.”

“Have you tried talking to Hannah about the situation?”

“Many times, and she always gets defensive. Even said I was selfish and wanted her all to myself.” He took a drink of water and frowned. “I just want to know that the woman I married would rather be with me than anyone else. If Dad didn’t need my help farming this place, I’d consider selling our home and moving my wife and daughter to Kentucky.”

Mom’s eyes widened as she drew in a sharp breath.

“Oh, don’t worry,” he was quick to say. “Hannah would pitch a fit if I even mentioned the idea.”

“Can’t say as I’d blame her for that.” Mom’s eyebrows drew together so they nearly met at the bridge of her nose. “Don’t forget, your daed and I visited Titus in Kentucky last year, and I didn’t see anything there that would make me want to move.”

“Land’s cheaper, and it’s less populated in Christian County than here. Titus has said so many times.”

“Jah, well, just because your twin likes it there doesn’t mean you would.” Mom leaned forward with her elbows on the table and looked at him intently, the way she had when he was a boy about to receive a stern lecture for something he’d done wrong. “If you think things are bad between you and Hannah now, just move her two states away from her mamm and see what happens.”

“I didn’t say I was planning to move. Just said I’d consider it if Dad didn’t need me here. ‘Course, I’d have to talk Hannah into it first, which would be nigh unto impossible.”

Mom pursed her lips, causing the wrinkles around her mouth to become more pronounced. “I don’t think it’s right for Hannah to spend so much time with Sally that she’s begun to ignore you, but if it’s affecting your marriage, then you’d better have a talk with Jacob Weaver or one of our other ministers. Running from one’s problems is not a good idea.”

Timothy nodded, but didn’t say anything. Truth was, he didn’t think his mother would be any happier about them moving to Kentucky than Hannah’s mother would be. Well, she didn’t have to worry, because short of a miracle, Hannah would never agree to move anywhere that was more than five miles from her folks. What he needed to do was figure out some way to get Hannah paying more attention to him and less to her mother.

Pembroke, Kentucky

“Would you like to have supper with us this evening?” Suzanne asked Titus as the two of them worked on a set of new cabinets one of their neighbors had recently ordered.

“Sorry, but I can’t,” he said, reaching for another piece of sandpaper. “I need to fix supper for Samuel and the kinner.”

Suzanne’s frown was so intense that deep lines were etched in her forehead. She looked downright miffed. “You’ve got to be kidding. Surely Samuel can fix supper for his family.”

Titus shrugged. “He probably could if he set his mind to it, but it’s all I can do to get him to eat a decent meal, let alone cook anything.”

“I know you’re concerned about your bruder, but you can’t do everything for him. Since Samuel and his kinner moved here, we hardly see each other anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Titus gestured to the cabinets they’d been sanding. “We see each other here at work almost every day.”

Her nose wrinkled, like some foul odor had permeated the room. “That’s not the same as spending time together doing something fun. Thanks to Samuel, you haven’t taken me anywhere or come over for supper even once.”

“I’m sorry about that, but it won’t always be this way. Once Samuel works through his grief, I won’t feel like I have to be there for him all the time.”

“What if he never gets over Elsie’s death?”

“I’m sure he will. He just needs a little more time.” Titus started sanding again. “I talked with Allen the other day, and he’s going to ask Samuel to paint a couple of rental houses he recently bought in Hopkinsville. So if Samuel keeps busy, I’m sure that’ll help with his depression.”

“I thought he was painting the outside of Bonnie’s Bed-and-Breakfast.”

“He has started on that, but he can’t work on it when it’s raining. The painting he’ll do for Allen will be inside work.” Titus stopped sanding and reached over to touch Suzanne’s arm. “Are you
missvergunnisch
of the time I spend with Samuel?”

She looked at him intently. “I’m not envious, but I am afraid that because of him, we might never get married.”

“That’s
lecherich
. Samuel won’t stop us from getting married this fall.”

“It’s not ridiculous. Samuel’s been here over two months already, and he’s made no effort to find a place of his own.”

“His house in Pennsylvania hasn’t sold yet, and even if it had, I doubt he could handle raising the kinner on his own.”

Suzanne’s cheeks flushed a bright pink. “There’s no way I can think of moving into your house and starting a family of our own if Samuel and his kinner are still living there. Your place isn’t big enough for that, and I’m sure it would eventually cause tension in our marriage.”

Titus knew Suzanne was right. After the last couple of conversations he’d had with his twin, he knew Timothy and Hannah’s marriage was full of tension. He didn’t want to start his marriage out with differences between him and Suzanne, but he couldn’t push Samuel and his kids out of the house either.

“I’ll have a talk with Samuel about looking for a place of his own as soon as I feel he’s ready,” he said.

“What if he’s not ready before fall?”

Titus took Suzanne’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Let’s pray that he is.”

E
sther’s stomach growled as she stepped into the kitchen, devoid of any pleasant smells. Even though Mom and Dad had been gone for two months, it still seemed strange not to have Mom here fixing breakfast in the mornings. She and Mom had always been close. Not an unhealthy kind of close, where she couldn’t do anything without asking her mother first. No, she and Mom had a special bond—an understanding of one another’s needs. Whenever Esther had been afraid as a child, Mom had always been there to calm her fears. When she’d had trouble making a decision, she’d gone to Mom for advice.

It wasn’t easy to do that now, since Mom and Dad lived two states away. Of course, she could always write Mom a letter or leave her a message on Dan’s voice mail. But it wasn’t the same as sitting down with a cup of tea and having a good heart-to-heart conversation.

Knowing she needed to set her thoughts aside and fix something for breakfast so she could get over to Titus’s to watch the children, Esther heated some water for tea, fixed herself a plate of scrambled eggs, and paired it with a slice of the delicious raisin bread Suzanne’s mother had given her last night.

When she took a seat at the table and bowed her head, the first thing she prayed about was her brother.

Dear Lord, please help the doctors find something that will make Dan feel better. Help him find new ways to do things. If he has to begin using a wheelchair, help the transition to be easy. Help Sarah and their kinner to accept the changes and be an encouragement to Dan
.

Be with my brother James and his family at their home in Lykens, and of course bless and be with Mom and Dad
.

Help Samuel through his struggle with grief, and I pray that I may be a blessing to his kinner today. Help me know what to do to help them through their grief. Amen
.

“That looks really good, Samuel,” Bonnie said when she’d finished spading her garden plot and joined Samuel on the side of the house where he’d been painting.