The Girl Who Came Back (42 page)

With a horrible rush of guilt, she lifted a hand to his face as she said, ‘I’ve always loved you, more than anything, or anyone, apart from Daisy, but that kind of love is different.’

‘Yes, it is,’ he agreed, gazing searchingly into her eyes, ‘but I felt a rift opening up between us, or not really a rift, we just didn’t seem as close …’

Knowing exactly what he was talking about, she let her eyes drift away, hating herself for the pain and confusion she’d caused him, for the betrayal that had seeped like a poison into the closeness they’d always shared.

He was speaking again. ‘… so I guess I should have told you that I knew about Nicholas, but I was too afraid that if I did you’d tell me you wanted to be with him.’

‘Oh God, Kian,’ she sobbed, turning to him. ‘I had no idea you knew … I swear it didn’t mean anything …’

He seemed not to be listening. ‘I used to think you only stayed with me because you couldn’t bring yourself to break my heart by taking Daisy away. Then I dreaded her going to uni in the States. I thought you’d go with her …’

‘It never even crossed my mind.’

His eyes fell away. ‘Then after, when we didn’t have her any more and there was nothing to keep you here …’

Sobbing wretchedly, she gasped, ‘
You
are what kept me here. It’s always been you, Kian. I’ve never loved anyone else and I never will. Oh my darling, to think of what you’ve been through over something that meant nothing. It was a moment of madness, a compulsion … I can hardly put into words what it was, but I’ve
never
wanted to do it again, and I’ve
never
regretted anything so much, especially now I know what it did to you.’

His smile was wry, his eyes still wet with tears as he gazed deeply into hers.

‘How did you find out?’ she asked, brokenly. ‘You weren’t even there …’

Putting a finger over her lips, he said, ‘Remember how well I know you. I could tell something was up as soon as I arrived in Chicago, and after that, when we were at the lake, you just weren’t yourself. Then one day, while we were setting up a picnic on the shore, I saw you flinch when someone shouted to Joe that his dad was on the line.’

Frowning, she said, ‘You knew from that?’

He shrugged. ‘I
guessed
from that, and then, when we were back here, I heard you on the phone to Em one night. You didn’t say his name, but it was obvious who you were talking about, and so … That was how I knew you were afraid the baby was his.’

Jules’s heart fractured right through, overwhelmed by the sheer awfulness of it all. How lonely and fearful he must have felt then, how desperate to find the right way while having no idea how he’d gone wrong. She simply couldn’t bear to think of him suffering like that; it was almost as bad as losing Daisy.

‘If it had been his,’ he said, ‘I’d decided that I’d accept it as mine, if it was what you wanted. If it wasn’t … Well, I guess it’s not an issue any more, so there’s no point going there.’

Clasping her hands to her face, she wondered how she was ever going to cope with the guilt. ‘You should have told me,’ she choked. ‘You shouldn’t have gone through all that on your own. We’d have worked it out together.’

‘I can see that now,’ he said gently, ‘but at the time I was waiting for you to tell me. I thought, when you didn’t, that you needed to keep the secret until the time was right for you to go …’

‘I’d never leave you,’ she vowed passionately. ‘Nothing, no one, means as much to me as you do. We belong together. We always have and always will.’

Tightening his arms around her, he said, ‘It’s how I’ve always felt, and hearing you say it … Knowing you want to start again with me, in Ireland …’ He sobbed on a laugh. ‘This is the happiest I’ve felt in a very long time. It’s like life might start making sense again now. It’ll have meaning and purpose, and I’ll always be there for you. I’ll never leave you again the way I did, after Daisy …’

‘Ssh,’ she whispered, putting a finger to his lips. ‘You did what you had to then, but we must make sure that we always talk about things in the future, no matter how hard they might be. No more secrets, no more pretence, just us and honesty and whatever we make of our lives from now on.’

‘It’s a deal,’ he smiled through his tears.

She smiled too, and pulling him to his feet, she said, ‘Don’t let’s hang around. Let’s go to Dublin as soon as we can get a flight so I can see the care homes you’ve shortlisted for Mum, and when we’ve made a decision we’ll start putting everything in motion.’

It was three days later that they finally heard from the CPS, and soon after Amelia Quentin was returned to Kesterly to be charged with murder. There was no bail granted this time, nor were there any statements from her father, although Helen Hall had heard that when it came time for the plea hearing she would plead not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.

‘So that means another trial?’ Jules had asked nervously.

‘Not necessarily,’ Helen replied. ‘If the experts on both sides agree that she
was
suffering from temporary insanity then she’ll be detained under the Mental Health Act and sent to a secure psychiatric facility.’

‘For how long?’ Kian wanted to know.

‘The term will be indefinite, until she can convince the authorities that she is no longer a threat to society.’

Now, as they prepared to leave the house on the Risings, with Andee and Helen there to help handle the press who’d set up camp in the street, Jules remarked, ‘Maybe if Amelia does plead temporary insanity it would be the best way to go, because she isn’t right in the head, or not in the sense that most of the rest of us are.’

Not arguing with that, Andee glanced at her phone as it rang. ‘Nothing that can’t wait,’ she told them, putting it away again. ‘So, are you about ready to go?’

Jules and Kian nodded. ‘Thanks for doing this,’ Kian said, shaking her hand.

‘It’s no bother,’ she assured him. ‘Would you like to go over the statement again before you leave?’

‘No, it’s fine,’ he replied. ‘Short and sweet, just like you said. Justice for Daisy, that’s all we want. And for Dean. No news on his release date yet?’

‘No, but it shouldn’t be long in coming now.’

Jules nodded. ‘His parents will be so relieved. Stephie too, of course.’

As they started for the door Helen said, ‘Do you have any idea yet when you’ll be back?’

‘In about a week,’ Jules answered. ‘Hopefully everything’ll be in place by then for my mother to make the next trip with us.’

Andee was looking around, taking in the charming little house that Jules, in spite of everything, had managed to turn into a home. ‘So what are you doing about this place?’ she wondered. ‘I only ask because I could be looking for somewhere to rent.’

Jules and Helen regarded her curiously.

‘It’s a long story,’ Andee smiled ruefully.

‘We’ll be happy to let it to you,’ Kian told her kindly, ‘if you’re serious …’

‘I’m not,’ she broke in quickly, ‘or not very. Anyway, you’ll need it when you’re here for visits.’

Deciding to broach the subject again when they came back, Jules watched Helen open the front door to check outside.

‘Andee and I will go out first,’ she said, turning back, ‘and make them aware that we’ll be giving a statement just as soon as you’ve been allowed to pass. That way, hopefully, they won’t bombard you as you leave, or attempt to follow you. Is Danny in place to keep a check on that?’

Kian nodded and held up his phone. ‘He texted about ten minutes ago. He’s at the end of the street.’

Turning to Helen, Jules took both of her hands and pulled her into a hug. ‘Thank you,’ she said softly, ‘not just for this, but for everything.’

‘Don’t mention it,’ Helen replied, and stood aside for Andee to hug Jules next.

‘You know where I am if you need anything,’ Andee said warmly. ‘You only have to pick up the phone.’

‘I don’t know how I’d have got through any of this without you,’ Jules confessed. ‘You’ve been the best friend anyone could ever wish for.’

‘I’ve enjoyed getting to know you,’ Andee smiled. ‘I just wish the circumstances could have been different.’

After they’d embraced again, Andee turned to Kian and gazed fondly into his eyes. ‘You’re a special man,’ she told him, ‘and I’m truly sorry for everything you’ve been through.’

Pulling her to him, Kian said, ‘Thank you for being there for Jules. If there’s ever anything we can do for you, nothing will ever be too much trouble.’

With twinkling eyes she said, ‘Careful, I might hold you to that.’

‘Do,’ he insisted.

A few minutes later, having made it to the car and out of the street with the press recording every inch of their progress, they were heading down the hill towards Hope Cove, leaving Andee to act as their spokesperson. Behind them Danny was keeping close to their tail, just in case anyone tried to follow, and Aileen was already calling to find out if they were on their way yet.

‘What do you really think of her pleading temporary insanity?’ Jules asked, as they pulled up at a set of lights halfway down the hill.

Kian barely hesitated. ‘That there’s nothing temporary about it, but right now I’m trying to do what we promised each other, and not think about the girl or the trial at all.’

Happy with the answer, Jules reached into the depths of her bag, searching for her phone as it bleeped with a text. ‘I expect it’s your mother,’ she said, as her hand closed around something that clearly wasn’t the phone. Unable to make out what it was, she drew it out and felt her heart turn over with surprise.

‘Look,’ she whispered, holding it up for Kian to see.

He blinked, curiously. ‘So you decided to take it?’ he said.

‘No,’ she replied. ‘It was still on the library mantelpiece the last time I saw it.’

Frowning, he said, ‘So how did it get in your bag?’

‘Maybe Misty put it there.’ Except she knew Misty hadn’t. She’d have seen her do it, and the shoe had still been in place when they’d left the library.

Looking down at it, she turned it over in her hand, remembering all the times she’d found it in odd places around the pub, and the flat, as though Ruby was trying to have fun with her, or even to communicate something. She recalled how attached Ruby had been to Daisy, settling in Daisy’s room with the mermaids as if it were where she’d always belonged. She’d even sensed Ruby’s overwhelming sadness after Daisy died.

Somewhere deep inside her she felt Ruby was trying to reach her now. Why else would the shoe be in her bag?

Lifting it to her cheek, as though to embrace it, she smiled sadly to herself, and whispered, ‘I should have thought to take you with us. Thank you for coming.’

As Kian pulled away from the lights she heard something rattle inside the shoe, and tipped it upside down to find out what it was. When she saw a tiny mermaid drop into her lap her heart filled with tears. ‘Oh, Kian,’ she murmured, picking it up and showing him, ‘look what was inside the shoe.’

Glancing over, Kian started to smile. ‘There are probably better ways of putting this,’ he said, ‘but it looks to me as though our girls have found their own way of coming with us.’

An enormous thank you to Andrea Bright at the White Hart in Littleton-on-Severn for guiding me so patiently through the running of a pub. Also to Sabrina, Mark & Nikki at the Royal Oak in Cromhall.

Once again my thanks go to Ian Kelcey for so much invaluable advice regarding the trial. Any errors, or journeys off into dramatic licence, are entirely mine!

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Epub ISBN: 9781448183876

Version 1.0

Published by Century 2016

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright © Susan Lewis Ltd 2016

Susan Lewis has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

First published in Great Britain in 2016 by Century

Century

The Random House Group Limited

20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London, SW1V 2SA

www.randomhouse.co.uk

Century is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at
global.penguinrandomhouse.com
.

The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781780891828