The Ghosts of Blood and Innocence (21 page)

‘
No
it is. Leave it.’

‘You shouldn’t feel guilty, Pell. Remember my relationship with Terzian. We’re all grown up now. You don’t owe me anything.’

Pellaz was silent, only too aware how accurate Cal’s aim had been with those remarks.

‘I want Loki back,’ Cal said. ‘I’d do anything to achieve that. Anything. He’s not my biological son, but he’s the child of my heart. I think I care more for him than anyhar. Call Galdra to Immanion, Pell. Do it.’ He paused. ‘Please.’

Cal was not the only har in Immanion who’d had that idea. Pellaz went again to Tharmifex’s office, once more finding Velaxis in attendance. He reported the bare facts: no success. He waited for Tharmifex to start talking about Opalexian, and was therefore unprepared for the Hegemony Chancellor’s next remark. ‘You could, of course, attempt to repeat the procedure with Galdra har Freyhella.’

‘Politically, that might be unwise,’ Pellaz said.

‘Perhaps, but I think the ends would justify the means in this case, don’t you?’

‘Cal thinks Diablo, Ponclast’s son, is responsible for the abduction.’

Tharmifex nodded abruptly. ‘I know. Eyra told me of your communication last night. Security has been increased around Abrimel’s accommodation.’ He paused. ‘Well, shall I send a message to Freygard or will you?’

Pellaz glanced at Velaxis, furious he was present. The Hegemony clerk was staring at his hands, which were folded in his lap; a picture of polite decorum. The sight made Pellaz grit his teeth. ‘Cal has expressed a similar suggestion,’ Pellaz said. ‘He believes we should do whatever we can to help Loki. I’m not happy with this, but very well. If it requires Grissecon with the Freyhellan, then I’ll do it. I’ve done it before, so it’s not beyond me to do it again.’

‘Grissecon?’ Velaxis looked up and spoke for the first time. He was frowning. ‘You don’t need to do that.’

‘Your puppy is barking,’ Pellaz said to Tharmifex.

‘Do you have something to say, Velaxis?’ Tharmifex asked.

‘Just that this is not a matter of Grissecon. The Tigron and the Freyhellan should simply do what they did before, and that was not part of a public ritual.’

‘I agree,’ Tharmifex said.

Pellaz felt sick. He thought he could just about cope with a formal, unemotional form of aruna with Galdra, but anything private would be excruciating. He dreaded what Galdra might say, and also how his own body might react in the heat of the moment. Then he’d have to dread what he himself might say. Perhaps Cal could be part of it. ‘This must be discussed,’ he managed to say. ‘You send Galdra the message and ask him to come here. Don’t explain the purpose of the meeting. I’d prefer that to be revealed once he’s here. Simply say we require his help in a procedure to locate Loki.’

Tharmifex nodded. ‘Of course.’ He paused. ‘Lileem might be our only strong ally in any unpleasantness to come. I heard Thiede is not communicating at the moment, either.’

‘Yes. Cal fears that Thiede is under threat.’ Pellaz looked Tharmifex in the eye. ‘Will you still send word to Opalexian?’

‘No. For now, I’ll keep her out of it. I’ll send a message to one of our Listeners in Freygard at once. If the response is favorable, and I know it will be, Velaxis will go there directly with
sedu
transport for Galdra. He will be here by later today.’

‘No time to catch my breath, then,’ Pellaz said lightly.

Tharmifex smiled, a little grimly. ‘Time to put away old weapons, perhaps,’ he said. ‘Lay down your arms, Pell. Galdra didn’t take Cal’s place, despite the wishes of some who’d have liked to see him at your side. Don’t blame him for the aspirations of others. We both know he had no desire for the throne of Immanion. There was only one desire he had.’

‘Thank you for that insight,’ Pellaz said dryly. ‘If you need me presently, I’ll be out with Peridot. I won’t go beyond easy communication distance.’

Peridot carried Pellaz out into the hills behind the city. Here, the soft rain hissed down like mist. Pellaz asked Peridot to halt at a high vantage point and from there he watched the sea. He remembered the glorious day when he’d ridden down to the docks to see the Freyhellan fleet arrive for the first time in Immanion. Today, the sea was sullen and heaving. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks was audible even from here.

Peridot, must I do this thing? Speak to me. Where is Loki? Help me now.

Peridot tossed his head.
Calanthe is right. The har Diablo is involved, but all is not clear to us, not clear at all. Loki is alive, but he walks towards a very strange light. Its radiance is alluring to him. Sweet child, you must do as your heart dictates, even though you bar the door firmly upon its insistent demands. Didn’t I once tell you that you had much to learn from the brother to the wolf and the hare? Don’t be afraid of your heart, Pellaz. There are many fires at which you can warm your cold flesh.

Some fires burn too hot, Peridot. I am afraid of what I feel in the presence of Galdra har Freyhella. He is not my Cal. I don’t want Galdra to become too alluring a light. I don’t trust myself. How can that be?

Pellaz could feel the
sedu’s
warm laughter rather than hear it.
You ask me, a creature beyond all hara and humans, that? What makes you think a
sedu
knows how to love?

Angels know how to love, Peridot. I have felt it. I felt it at Fulminir when your brothers fell around you.

I know you intimately, beloved, as you apparently know me! All I can tell you is to follow your heart. Ultimately, such truth cannot lead to pain. What you and Cal enjoy was forged in fire and blood; it cannot be broken by any living thing. But perhaps you must be more generous of yourself.

That’s it. Perhaps I can’t be that generous. I resent the fact that Galdra will be overjoyed if he knew the way I felt. I don’t understand myself. His adoration irritates me, even as I sometimes yearn for those days we spent together.

That is your dilemma to solve. Galdra will help you connect with the Kamagrian, Lileem. Tharmifex Calvel is right about her too. She cannot hide away forever.

And what is the position of the
sedim
in all this? Are we to face another war? What do you know?

Our kings are alert; that is all I can say. If enemies move, they do so covertly. I stand by my words in Freygard: the portal there is harmless.

The Hegemony does not agree with that.

Their opinion is irrelevant. I’m telling
you
, and that’s all that’s important.

Pellaz reached down and ran his hand down the
sedu’s
broad neck. ‘We talk well together now, don’t we? One day, perhaps, I’ll be able to endure your true form. That would please me.’

It would please me too, but I fear you’ll have to travel beyond this life for us to experience such intimacy.

As Tharmifex had predicted, Galdra appeared to leap at the chance of coming to Immanion. Pellaz was not cheered by this: for years there had been utter silence between the Gelaming and the Freyhellans. Pellaz had had the impression that Galdra would rather have eaten his own tongue than set foot in Almagabra again. It was arranged that Pellaz and Cal would meet with Tharmifex and Galdra at Tharmifex’s home in the Thandrello area of Immanion. Pellaz requested specifically that Velaxis should not be there. Even though he had no liking for Velaxis, he didn’t distrust him particularly. What annoyed Pellaz was that Velaxis seemed to be everywhere at once. He had a finger in every Gelaming pie, and probably others besides. He was the archetypal civil servant, perhaps representative of the true power behind thrones. But the matter of Galdra was a personal one; Velaxis had no place in it. Tharmifex was only tolerated as an arbitrator.

Cal and Pellaz arrived half an hour or so before Galdra.  They sat in the garden with Tharmifex and Ryander, his unobtrusive and gracious chesnari. The sky had cleared and the air was fresh and crisp, smelling of salt. Seagulls called raucously, and bullied the songbirds who had come to taste the scraps left out for them by Tharmifex’s househara.

A har came out of the house and murmured something to his employer. Tharmifex nodded and stood up. ‘The party from Freygard has arrived.’

‘Party?’ Pellaz said frostily.

‘Three hara; Galdra and an escort.’ Tharmifex turned to Ryander. ‘Perhaps you could take Galdra’s hara to the kitchen area for refreshments.’

Ryander inclined his head and also got to his feet.

Tharmifex gestured at Pellaz and Cal. ‘Please go to the meeting room. I’ll bring Galdra there.’

The Chancellor’s meeting room was of modest size, space enough for up to ten hara to sit comfortable around a large table. It was constructed of glass, attached to a side of the house that overlooked Tharmifex’s tiered water gardens. Vines grew over the roof so that the light was green. Sitting there, Pellaz was reminded of the roofed tomb in Freygard. He remembered Galdra jumping down from the niche, his bright hair swinging.

Cal took one of Pell’s hands in his own. ‘Breathe,’ he advised, grinning.

Tharmifex ushered Galdra into the room. ‘Please, take a seat, tiahaar.’

Galdra bowed to the Tigrons, directing his attention to Cal first.

Cal raised a hand. ‘Hello, Galdra. Thank you for coming.’

Galdra sat down. ‘No need to thank me. You have news about Loki?’

‘No,’ Cal said.

Pellaz was grateful that Cal appeared to have assumed control. He was almost incapable of speech himself. Tharmifex too seemed content to let Cal do the talking. He sat down next to Galdra and folded his hands on the table.

Galdra frowned. ‘Then why am I here?’

‘After discussion,’ Cal began, ‘the Hegemony has concluded that it’s essential communication is re-established with Lileem Sarestes. We have already made attempts to do that, without success. We believe that only you and Pellaz can create the specific conditions necessary for such communication. Would you be agreeable to participating in an experiment to do this?’

Galdra did not attempt to hide his surprise, or his consternation. He allowed himself one brief glance at Pellaz, laughed, put a hand over his mouth, then stared at the table.

‘Well?’ Cal asked. ‘What are your thoughts on this?’

‘This is a shock,’ Galdra said. ‘The last thing I expected to hear.’

‘I understand that,’ Cal said. ‘We wouldn’t be asking you if we didn’t think it was essential.’

Pellaz noticed that now Galdra’s gaze did not leave Cal’s face. Pellaz might as well not have been present.

‘I don’t know,’ Galdra said. ‘I confess I find it difficult to discuss this with you, tiahaar.’

‘I understand that too. Perhaps we should be speaking alone, but please be assured that everyhar present has only Loki’s interests at heart. I am prepared to do anything to find him. I trust you feel the same.’

Galdra nodded. ‘Of course. I’ll do what it takes, although I must admit I’m skeptical this will work.’ Now, he glanced at Pellaz. ‘Circumstances are very different to those surrounding the events at Fulminir.’

Pellaz addressed Tharmifex. ‘When do you suggest we should make the attempt?’

Tharmifex appeared surprised he’d been asked that question. ‘When you feel ready,’ he said. ‘That is hardly up to me.’

‘We must talk, Pellaz,’ Galdra said. ‘This isn’t something we can just go away and do. We need to discuss the matter.’

Pellaz and Galdra went out into the garden and walked around its perimeter. Silence hung heavily between them, but at first it appeared Galdra was content to remain quiet until Pellaz felt ready to speak. As they reached the lawn that looked out over the ocean, a line of ships could be seen, sailing into dock. Here, Galdra paused. ‘Takes me back,’ he said, staring out to sea. ‘It seems centuries ago I first came here.’

Pellaz
nodded. ‘Mmm.’

There was another short silence, then Galdra asked abruptly, ‘Whose idea was this?’

Pellaz didn’t hesitate. ‘Cal’s.’

‘You could have refused.’

‘Unfortunately, I couldn’t. Cal’s probably right.’

Galdra shook his head. ‘He continually astounds me. I would never have expected him to behave like this.’

‘He is Tigron,’ Pellaz said. ‘Don’t be astounded. Put aside your prejudices.’

‘I think you will have more difficulty doing that than me,’ Galdra said. ‘What did I ever do to you that was so bad? I went into that final Grissecon virtually as your chesnari, and woke from it to find I was an outcast. Is there something I’ve forgotten? Or was it simply that once Cal returned to you, I was an embarrassment to be discarded?’

‘The reason we have not talked for so long is because I never wanted to have this conversation,’ Pellaz said.

‘I deserve an explanation,’ Galdra said. ‘You owe me that much, surely.’

Pellaz turned away and began to walk once more along the edge of the lawn. With one hand, he brushed the heads of the flowers that grew in the border beyond the grass. Galdra followed him. ‘We… we should not have become so close,’ Pellaz said. ‘I allowed it to happen and I wish I hadn’t. But you were a force, Galdra, a very strong force. You were determined to get your own way, and you got it. Now, you must live with the consequences. I’m not totally to blame. I did try to tell you once.’

Galdra pulled a sprig from a rosemary tree, twirled it beneath his nose. ‘You tried to tell me many things. You once implied that you were ready to let me take Cal’s place. If I recall correctly, it was me who stopped that discussion. You did feel the same as I did, Pell. I think you hate yourself for it. You have very strange concepts of loyalty and betrayal. I expect it’s some leftover of once being human.’ He crumpled up the fragrant leaves and threw them away.

Pellaz laughed bitterly. ‘How long you’ve waited to say these things. You must have rehearsed them many times in your head.’

‘Too many times to count,’ Galdra said. ‘I can’t go through the whole script; it would take too long, which is a shame because there are some choice lines in it.’