THE GATE KEEPER (9 page)

I
took a peek from the side it came from. I slowly slide my trap leg out from underneath
the bicycle while I try to seek for the where about of the predator at the
corner of my eye. The rattling was at an alert state. It was hidden among the
tall grass from my left side. My heart race as extreme fear rushes through my
veins. Quickly I roll to the opposite side away from the rattling sound and run
for the road.

I
stand at the edge of the road and see a rattlesnake crossing over near the
bicycle.
Luck
I thought. After it disappeared through the grassy field I
ran for the bicycle, head out of the off road and ride away. The fear of being
bitten and poison to death was gone.

Do
not be afraid to love
my acquaintance had advised. She was the
one I thought of, Samantha, and after all, we had something special earlier.
I
trust her and maybe I could tell her about my adventure.

Two
hundred metres across the alley where Phil was, Samantha run from the traffic
light to the street where she lives. She was a few metres from her home. The
fanatic athlete decreases her speed for a final cool down before she stops.

Ahead
a green and black sport’s bike advances at a crawling pace. The biker was dress
in a similar clothing and helmet colour which match with the bike.  The
rider’s identity was hidden under the tint visor of the helmet. Samantha spots
it as she starts to stroll.

The
biker slows the bike the moment he gets closer to her. It moves towards her.
Uncomfortable was how she felt. She was wearing a tight, black legging and an
illuminative top yellow jacket. The phobia of strangers staring at her body
seems to have made her felt uneasy.

Perhaps
he was a psycho as she knew that they come in any forms nowadays. The news and
her mother had educated her wisely. The bike comes into a halt and the biker
rest one leg on the pavement near her. Samantha quickly removes her earpiece
which was attached to a small mp3 hardware attached by her waist. Alertness was
her main aim.

‘Hi,’
a male voice says as he removes his helmet.

She
did not response but come to a halt instead. She nervously remains two arms distance
as she didn’t want to be a victim of a snatcher. First she notices the familiar
outline of the chin, cheek, mouth and nose as the helmet slowly slides upward.
Then the familiar face she had met this morning.

‘Hi,’
Samantha said.

‘I’m
Michael.’

‘Yes,
I know.’ She said joyfully.

‘May
I ask how do you know my name?’

‘At
the turf…..’

‘Oh…,
the athletic competition….’

‘Yes.’

Michael
stares at her deep in her eyes and said, ‘you’re pretty.’

Samantha
smile, ‘Thanks.’

Michael
could not resist the temptation of not staring at her. Making her aware that he
meant business and that he was in search of a companionship. She happens to be
his match.

For
Samantha the message was clear but it was up to her. She had felt it by Michael’s
seductive behaviour. Shy was how she feels the more Michael stares deep in her
soul.

‘You’re
embarrassing me.’

‘No
need to. You should be proud of your natural beauty, especially when a man
shows appreciation for it.’

    
     ‘That’s a little too flattering.’
    

Michael
got off his bike while he kicks down the bike’s stand with his boots. Still
keeping the eye contact with her admirer he says, ‘Doesn’t I speak of the
truth?’

Samantha
felt lost in seduction. Speechless and paralyse by her words she stand still.
She had run out of words. Michael made a short step towards her.

Then
he says, ‘It would be my pleasure to take you out. Would you like that?’

‘Are
you trying to take me for a date?’

‘A
sort of….’

‘Ok,
I got to think about it though.’

8

She
was still on my mind and I could not let her go. The feelings I had for her
were unexplainable. I had been lonely for too long. I thought about her
companionship and how wonderful it would be to share our feelings for each
other.
Every relation has a starting point. Ours was at an infant stage.

I
scan the road on either side for oncoming traffic before I went across. Then I
found myself back through the alley where I fought the gang. Claustrophobe
feelings of the enclosed area send brutal memories of the attack. I ride out of
the alley at a racing speed and come to a halt at the traffic light.

At
the other side a few metres away I could see her. Except that there was
somebody else talking to her. He was well dress but I couldn’t tell who it was.
Riding away was an alternative but I wanted to know if she would like to go out
with me.

Amber
and green, then the traffic light displays green light. I step off the bicycle
and walk across with it. On the other side of the road I take my time. Nobody
notices me as I walk into stealthy and silent mode. She tries to walk away.

‘Samantha,’
Michael said.

She
turns around and replies joyfully, ‘Michael.’

‘We
should definitely go out together.’

‘Why
should I?’

He
slowly moves towards her, hold her hands softly, stares deeply in her eyes and
says, ‘Because I like you. You’re simply irresistible like chocolate.’

‘Am
I?’ she responds softly.

Michael
slowly moves closer to her while both of them stares into each other’s eyes as
if they were lovers. Suddenly they both kiss each other with a passion of love.
They hold each other’s hands tightly as they share their feelings for each
other.

Though
I was close enough to be notice none of them seems to care of my arrival.
Samantha’s eyes were shut but Michael was not and he could see me. He pretends
that I wasn’t there and crack on while I stares mute in disbelief.

Tears
of pain wanted to roll down but I take it in. My eyes were watery beyond my control.
A shame was how I felt. I didn’t know what to do or how to react. Afraid of
being rejected again was another aspect of fear.

‘Are
you still going to stand there and watch us?’ Michael asked in a sarcastic
tone.

Samantha
quickly stands slightly away from Michael and says, ‘Phil, I didn’t know you
were in the neighbourhood?’

I
remain quiet as I try to control the strong emotion of betrayed. Deep down
within my guts I feel low and down. The sadness automatically drives my tears
down.

‘Are
you deaf she’s taken,’ Michael said.  

‘Don’t
have to talk to him like that!’ Samantha responds.

‘Sorry
for bothering both of you….and I insist…..you may as well carry on what you
were doing,’ I deprecates.

Michael
smile, stare at her and says ‘Shall we?’

‘You’re
very cruel!’ She replied.

‘Just
a survivor,’ Michael said.

‘I’m
sorry Phil, I didn’t mean to heart you but I shall make it up to you.’ She said
with regrets.

‘No
you don’t have to,’ I replied.

‘What
do you mean?’ she asked.

‘Never
mind him he’s a loser,’ Michael said.

‘Shut
up!’ she screams at Michael.

‘Alright!
Chill, girl!’ Michael
responded.

‘How
do you repair a broken heart which was already yours?’ I replied by questioning
her integrity.

‘We’ve
just known each other for just a day and beside we’re both young. But I like
you. I’m sorry and please forgive me,’ she apologised.

I
walk in between both of them while I try to control my feelings for her. Hurt
was for sure. Anger was all I had for Michael. Keeping calm and walking away
was my ultimate goal to prevail.

‘Phil
we need to talk.’ She said.

‘No
we don’t.’

‘Why
wasting your time? Can’t you see that he’s not your type,’ Michael said.

‘What
do you know about my type?’ She asked arrogantly.

‘Both
of you do not match but both of us do!’ Michael arrogantly responded.

‘Phil,
please don’t you walk away,’ she begs.

I
walk at the same pace. Slow with my head down and tears rolling down my chicks.
I couldn’t turn back. I didn’t have the strength to face both of them,
especially her.

‘Let
it be. Come here and let us finish what we started.’ Michael said.

‘You’re
heartless.’ Samantha said as I heard her walks in and slams the door of her
house.

‘Phil!
Don’t bother to come back as she’s not your match!’ Michael
screamed.  

I
wipe the tears with my hand, turn around and ask, ‘What do you mean by match?’

‘Take
a good look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll realise that it has been
staring at you in the face for the past seventeen years.’

‘Why
don’t you get straight to the point?

‘You
know the dirty, muddy, coffee like texture of water that comes off an
eighteenth century cannon? Well sorry to say it but I’m afraid that’s you.’

‘No
you’re not. You don’t have to pretend you feel sorry for your arrogance and
racist comments.’

‘It’s
just an expression that can truly describe you.’

‘Sure,
a racist one, I never expected it from you and after all I thought you were a
friend.’

‘Sorry
for disappointing you but that’s the way it is. Life can be a bitch at times.’

‘Life
is not a bitch it’s just that people like you that make it bitchy for others.’

‘Hold
on my friend.’

I
move towards him and says ‘don’t you dare call me friend because you’re not
worthy of that word.’

‘Listen,
your kind needs to know that there’s a line drawn, where you shouldn’t cross.’

‘I’m
all ears.’

‘You
should be. Your kind has taken too much. You seek for equality we give it to
you then for the same opportunity and this was also granted. Now you want our
women. Then what’s next our God given country?’

‘You’re
out of your head.’

‘Am
I,’ he responded sarcastically as he smiles.

‘Look
around us the world has change and the process of changes for the better is
still on going. You want be able to do a thing about it.’ I walk away.

‘I
will, believe me I will help make some changes and the most important one is to
prevent guys like you to be with young ladies like Samantha.’

I
come to a halt and with my back facing him I told him, ‘One more thing, most of
us who think that they the true Americans….’

‘Am
all ears,’ he responded joyfully in a teasing fashion.

‘Well
we’re all not the true Americans. Your descendants made them extinct.’

He
was speechless. I step on my bicycle and ride out hoping that he had learn
something from our little conversation. Physical racism had been abolished from
1836 but the psychological racism has taken over. The generation of white
settlers which had carry on with their racist ideology within their family.

The
law had prevented them from being above it but it didn’t stop them from not
liking another person for simply being a different skin colour. Teachings of
resentment for the inferior skin were passed on to generation after generation
of the white families who believed that they were the superior
race.  

9

Broken
hearted was how I felt. Tears keep on rolling down as I ride the bicycle home.
I park it next to the garage. Wipe and soak my tears with my T-shirt and stand
outside for a while. Worst scenario was to have my mum seeing me in that
devastated state.

I
took the key from my front jean’s pocket, open the front door and got in. I ran
straight for my room upstairs and closed the door for a bit of privacy. I drop
to my bed and curl myself as I face the only windows of my room.

‘Phil!
Is that you?!’ Mum shouts out.

‘Yes,
it is!’

‘Are
you ok?!’

‘Yes
mum!’

Then
I could hear footsteps up the stairs. The creaking sounds of the floorboards of
the stairs were the greatest giveaways of her location. My ears had learned to
adapt to the right tone of her movement. So unique that I could deciphers the
creaking sound of any strangers. 

‘I
know there’s something wrong with you today and you can’t hide it from me.’ Mum
said as she climbs the flight of stairs.

‘Please
leave me alone I’m just tired.’

‘You
don’t have to hide anything from me as you can speak to me about any problem
you might have. Beside that’s what I’m here for as your mother.’

Then
the door of my room creaks open.

‘May
I have some privacy please….?’

‘Phil,
are you on anything?’

‘What
do you mean mum?’

‘Drugs or alcohol?’

I
look at her and say, ‘Please let me be for a while.’

‘Oh
my G….. You’re on drugs.’

‘Mum,
do not be naïve and come into conclusion about what you can’t comprehend. What
make you think that I’m a druggie?’

‘Your
eyes are the greatest give away son.’

‘Mum,
you don’t have to worry about me as I’m too good for any substance abuse.’

‘Watching
you curling like a baby at an early time of the day just gives me the creep and
beside I just don’t want you to spoil your life.’

Mother
walks in and sits on my bed beside me. Then she asks, ‘then what is it my son?
I can sense something bothering you.’

I
look at her and she stares at me as if she was reading me. Trying to find out
what happened by trying to read the expression from my face. Getting closer to
the truth was her aim.  Hiding my emotion often left her clueless.

I
felt like I could no longer hold it in.
I had to let her know. She was the
only person I could trust, beside, she gave life to me….

‘I
was racially abuse today.’

‘Who
was it?’

‘A
colleague who I thought was a friend.’

‘What
did, he or she said?’

‘It
was a he mum.’

‘Ok,
then what did he said to you?’

‘He
made me aware that my brown skin colour was the same as the dirty water that
runs on the eighteenth century canon when it rains. He also Make me aware that
I’m not fit for their.....’

‘Yes.’

‘I’m
not fit for their white girls.’

She
keeps quiet for a while as if she was surprise of what I had told her. Mum
turns at the window embracing the dusky sky which paves way for the night sky. The
spectacular and natural orange colour of the sky slowly fades. I click the
nearby switch on the wall and the room becomes alight.