The Forgotten (15 page)

“Actually, you distanced yourself from the House of Dreykohnis, since you became a member of our House when you married me. Nonetheless, if my brother knows about Rhiannon so will your father. And he will send assassins after her just as he sent them for me. He might have a harder time getting to her than he had getting to me, but if he comes to power, our daughter will die, surely as the sun will set and rise. Can you honestly say you want that? You don’t have the resources to keep her safe alone, Neri.”

Ice flowed through her veins at those words. She stopped and stared at him.

“Fine. I’ll take your bait. I will do whatever you ask of me as long as it will secure Rhiannon’s future. Before we deal with concerns in faraway Avonry, we’re going to have to deal with Ulwyn and his men here at home.”

“It would be easy to do if I wasn’t in this form. I’d just burn the whole thing down.”

“You can’t destroy Lucan’s birthright!”

“That little charming fortification is his birthright?” Ryn snorted. “It looks kind of quaint when compared to what we’re used to.”

“What you’re used to,” she pointed out. “You always were an entitled spoiled little brat.”

“Thank you,” he remarked, giving her an over emphasized bow. “Besides, don’t act so humble. Your father’s country palace rivalled that of the Summer Palace we lived in. You didn’t exactly grow up penniless, my sweet one. What you live in now, looks quite pitiful compared to how you were used to living. You had entire rooms dedicated to each season of your clothing wardrobe! And if I’m not mistaken you had a room just for your jewels that I lavished you with. I was a total cad for a husband but at least I knew enough to spoil you rotten.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. Maybe she didn’t wish for her life with Ryn back—maybe she just wished that somehow, someway both of her children had survived to adulthood.

Ryn was right.

He would have eventually marred their wedded bliss with his idiotic antics. When it came right down to it, he loved to indulge in his excesses of sex, alcohol and even on occasion some mind altering magic dust.

The thought of Rhiannon being Ryn’s family’s heir scared the living daylights out of her. If she was destined to be the next High Queen, she’d have a rough road. Her daughter didn’t even think like a subject of the Kingdom of Avonry, how could she rule the Realm?

She would be an unusual Queen. She hadn’t been raised to be used to a life of excess. She had no way of thinking like a true Royal and maybe that would be her greatest strength.

There was no question in her mind that Rhiannon would be a good and just Queen, she just didn’t know if she wanted her baby living in that kind of a suffocating bubble. She’d have to give up so much in order to reign as High Queen.

Rhiannon loved to wander. She loved to explore and seek out and experience new things. As Queen, she would be quite restricted. She didn’t even know if the Sovereign was allowed to leave the Kingdom.

In her and Ryn’s days, the High King and his Queen were never supposed to leave Avonry. Instead, a Royal of lesser birth was sent out to be envoys to the Realms of Tamar, Shardizar and even Domnonee when the need arose.

That responsibility usually fell on Ryn’s brother and sister’s shoulders while Ryn was constantly left to his own devices. His parents had indulged him to a dangerous degree. If only they had assigned more Knight Mages to protect Ryn, maybe her father’s assassin would not have been successful.

Avonry had even been known to send out ambassadors to the lands that they hardly heard about, and were in some cases forbidden to enter.

The Hidden Realms was an example of that. They knew the enchanted Elven and Fairy kingdoms existed but their lands were draped in a cloaking spell and only those they wanted to enter ever found the way into their majestic lands—and only those they allowed to leave, left.

Then there were the other lesser known kingdoms. Lands so far away that most had forgotten they even existed. Carn Brea was a vast world populated with many kingdoms, kingdoms that stood in the shadows and would someday make themselves known to the Realms of Domnonee, Shardizar, Avonry and Tamar.

Did she want her baby to be a part of that world?

She would be in a highly dangerous place sitting on the High Throne of Avonry. There would be those who would want to see her fail—there would be those who would want to see her killed. And her father would be at the top of the list. If it was to work, someone would have to kill her father, or else Rhiannon would always be in jeopardy.

And yet—she’d be the first woman in Avonry’s history to rule in her own right. She would be forever remembered as the first ruling High Queen. She would become a legend.

Could she take that away from Rhiannon?

“Damn, you are sexy as hell, you know that? I really wish you didn’t have Lucan. If you were free, we might just be able to sneak in enough time to become husband and wife again.”

“I’m not your wife anymore, remember, Ryn? Those vows ended when you died.”

“I remember all too well, Neri. I would have you even as you are now with Lucan in your heart. There is nothing I would desire more—well, I would like to see Rhiannon and have her see and know me. I was a pitiful husband but I like to think I would have been a good father.”

They’d finally reached the Wylde Wolf Tavern, and all she wanted to do was return to her bed and sleep in it with Ryn—no Lucan, cuddled to her side. And yet, she couldn’t do any of that. She had to keep going, they had to take the fight to Ulwyn and finally depose the little bastard.

“Indeed. You were a rotten husband. You were fine up to the point where you left me to burn. Even your constant and many infidelities couldn’t compete with how wretched I felt when you left me alone without a defender.”

“Don’t remind me. I wasn’t exactly a shining example of husbandry loyalty anyway. If I could take that back, I would, Neri. I know I broke our vows quite regularly and with no sense of a guilty conscience, either. Ah, I was a son of a bitch. Still, I would love to fall into bed with you again, Neri. How about it? Are you up for it?”

Neri snorted and opened the heavy wooden door that led into the Tavern. “No, I’m not keen. You’re temporarily resurrected ass isn’t tempting enough for me to throw what I have with Lucan down the drain.”

Who was she kidding? She was damn well tempted she just couldn’t bring herself to be that awful toward Lucan. She’d been on the receiving end of it and she knew all too well how being betrayed that way could make one feel.

“I told you she was alive, Sir Lucan,” Mother Spratt’s excitable voice met Neri’s ears. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I should go to the Temple and tell everyone there that isn’t willing to fight to stay there so they will be safe. Those who can and are willing to fight should come to the Tavern.”

“You are safe,” Lucan exclaimed, rushing toward her.

He looked like an anti-hero draped from head to toe in black, and yet his strength radiated off him. Being back with him made her feel as if everything was going to be okay.

He had a comforting presence that Ryn had never possessed, probably because Lucan was the reliable sort and Ryn wasn’t.

He embraced her, and she clung to him, drinking in his masculine aroma. The smell of the Wolf was heavy on him telling her that he was fighting the urge to shift. His willpower had to be great because from his scent, she should have been met by the wolf not by the man.

She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. She wanted more from him, and he wanted more from her but circumstances were not going to allow them that luxury.

“Oh, well isn’t this sweet. It’s so damn sweet, I just might gag and puke my temporarily resurrected guts out.” Ryn’s cynical voice echoed throughout the Tavern. Lucan looked over her head to settle his gaze on him.

Despite being more or less corporeal, Ryn had a glowing white light around him that sort of made one wonder what exactly he was.

“And you are?” Lucan asked.

“I’m Neri’s husband, mate.”

“Dead husband more like. So technically, you aren’t really her husband…not anymore anyway, those vows ended when you kicked the bucket.”

“Love endures past death and leaving the mortal coil of our bodies,” Ryn said.

She shivered. As much as she wanted to stay and witness their troubling confrontation, she couldn’t. She didn’t like Ryn’s possessive side. This was what had gotten her into trouble back in Avonry.

Ryn had one set of rules for himself, and another set for her. He’d been completely at peace with screwing every one he desired and yet, he’d been infuriated when he’d discovered that she’d taken a lover. The thought of sharing her with another man had made him see red. His anger had cost them everything, and she couldn’t bear listening to it rear its ugly head again.

She was cold, slightly damp and extremely hungry. Despite all of that, Ulwyn’s wolves were howling in the distance telling her they were all working on borrowed time.

Sooner or later, they would be forced to battle the forces that wanted to keep Glynneath Village and the County of Cambria under their control.

“I have to get a change of clothes. I’m frozen. I’ll be right back,” she muttered, dashing up the steps that led to the bedchambers.

Lucan hadn’t followed her. He was obviously still too perplexed by Ryn’s return…or worse, he had decided he no longer wanted her. Getting past seeing one’s dead husband wasn’t an easy task to do. Even she could barely comprehend it!

She walked into the bathing room and quickly washed her muddy feet. Then, she went to her bedchamber and shut the door. She really wished she had time for a nice hot bath, but she didn’t.

Moving over to the wardrobe, she pulled out a nice fluffy towel to dry the moisture off her skin. Then, she reached inside for leggings and a tunic. She didn’t fancy trying to fight in a dress. She pulled her Hunter cloak out from the back of the wardrobe and bent to find her sheathed sword. She had never used this blade but it was hers now and she needed to wield it today.

Once everything was arranged, she closed her eyes and said a prayer, she prayed for Rhiannon’s safety above everything else.

She pulled off her dirty black chemise and tossed it to the floor.

“You are killing me again, Neri. Why did I ever stray from our marriage bed? You are smoking hot, and for someone with a penchant for fire like me, that means everything. Damn, together you and I were the best looking couple in all of Carn Brea.”

She jumped at the sound of Ryn’s voice and whirled about clutching the towel to her front. Why did it always seem like she was caught naked with only a towel to shield her?

“I was serious before when I said I wanted to rekindle what we had, Neri. I want you so badly. They told me that I was basically back to my old form for the length of time they’ve given me here in Shardizar. I could bring you to the heights of passion the way I used to. We could have so much fun! Come on, let’s take a walk on the wild side, baby!”

“You were sent back to warn me about what was in store for our daughter, and all you can think about is bedding me? You need to get your priorities straight for once, Ryn!”

“You misunderstand, Neri. I wasn’t given this golden opportunity to save our daughter. Rhiannon’s fate might be rocky at times but as long as you can look out for her and you know what is coming, she’ll be fine. I came back to earn your forgiveness, and have your love for me reaffirmed.

My soul can’t be free until I have that from you. I crave it in a way that a person needs to breathe. When I was dying that’s all I wanted from you. I wanted to hear you say you loved me one more time, and I wanted to hear you say that you forgave me. You are and always will be my true love.”

“I…I am at a loss for words, Ryn.”

Heartburn clawed at her chest. He was confusing her so badly, muddling her mind and her heart! Damn him for coming back and making her doubt the life she’d worked so hard to build!

Damn him for making her doubt her love for Lucan. He was twisting his way into her heart again just the way he could always affect her. He knew she’d loved him deeply and now he was trying to use that to his advantage!

“You see, the thing is—my whole life revolved around pleasure and the sake of having copious amounts of sex. I never opened my heart to anyone—save you. And while I might not be your true love…you are mine. I was so hurt when I found out about Glen.

I couldn’t take thinking that you didn’t adore me the way I adored you. The other people I slept with—they were nothing to me. You were my wife, you were my heart.

Those sex buddies of mine meant nothing and they had no influence on me whatsoever. You could have gotten me to do anything, Neri. I loved you so deeply that when I was dying all I could think about was you. I know you won’t believe this now given all that went on between you and me but I swear to the Gods above that I would not have allowed them to execute you. I would have done all that I could to keep you from your pyre of death. I would have walked through the flames to save you.”

“Oh, Ryn. Why couldn’t you have stayed dead?” She looked away from him.

Pain continued to claw at her. She wanted to rush into his arms and pretend like the bad stuff never happened between him. He’d charmed her from their first meeting, he’d been the first man she’d slept with and the first man she’d given her heart to. He was the father of her children and yet—she couldn’t take him back—could she?

“I’m still dead, sweet one. I haven’t been given a second chance at life, I’m on borrowed time granted to me by the Gods and Goddesses I used to snort about believing in!”

She laughed. “You never wanted to go to Church and you always said that the Divine Priests and Priestesses were full of shit when it came to preaching the words of the Gods and Goddesses.”

“And look where I ended up,” he laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to the Heavenly Otherworld, more like a quaint version of Purgatory, I guess. At least I wasn’t burning in the Dark Otherworld, so I can give thanks for small blessings. What I did learn was that the Powers that Be were far more powerful than me. Being a Prince of Avonry meant nothing once I died. When we are dead all of our souls are equal, and for a while that was a hard pill to swallow, but I might have been a selfish bastard in life—fortunately, I wasn’t an evil one or I would have been in hell, literally.”

“Your sins didn’t end up damning you, then,” she mused.

She tried to swallow past the lump welling in her throat. Hot tears welled in her eyes. She willed herself to stay calm and not show her emotions to him—if she did he would know that his words of love were getting to her.

“My sins weren’t that great, Neri. Apparently, only murder and a few other grisly crimes will get you sentenced to the Dark Otherworld. I never dabbled in the dark arts, nor did I ever wish to murder anyone in cold blood, and I never took a woman against her wishes…so all in all, I did okay, I’m happy to say. The only thing that kept me rooted to my own form of Limbo was the fact that I put you through your own living hell. I betrayed you when I should have supported you—I cheated on you when I should have loved you, for you never denied me any of my carnal delights.

Who was I to condemn you for dabbling in the wicked sides of pleasure with another man? I should have kept you fulfilled, I should have stayed faithful. It’s my own fault for what happened to you, and in a way, it’s my own fault your father was able to kill me.”

“So, based on what you’ve just said, my father is going to a dark and terrible place.”

“Yeah, the darkest and the grimmest,” he grinned. “He definitely won’t be getting the kind of chance I’m being blessed with. Nope. They take that kind of stuff really seriously down there, or so I hear. Some can redeem themselves and work their way out of that level of hell, but most don’t qualify.”

“I can’t say I feel for him. He never was a good father to me. He only married me off to you because of who you were and how the match would positively impact him.”

“If it’s of any consolation to you, my parents gave me seven prospective brides to choose from. I picked you.”

“Well, at least you had a choice. I didn’t. I guess that’s because I’m a woman.”

“No, it’s because you were his daughter. He was and still is a beast of a man. Other women in Avonry got a choice when it came to their arranged marriages—rarely could they marry for love but like me, they usually got a few to pick from, so in theory they can pick the best out of the lot.”

“Here in Shardizar you marry who you want to marry.”

“Is that what you believe? Ah, my sweet and naïve Neri. Many of the upper classes marry their children off like we were married off. Even the good old King himself wishes he’d been able to marry Grifon off to a woman of his choosing. He hates Ava as much as his son loves her.”

“Fortunately, Ava can take care of herself. And unlike me, she has Grifon on her side no matter what kind of hell comes her way, he will always be standing there ready to defend her.”

Pain flashed across Ryn’s face. He dropped to his knees in front of her, and reached for her hand. She couldn’t pull away from him, his magnetic personality was drawing her in again, Gods help her she was going to drown in his charm!

“I want to beg for your forgiveness. Please, I’ll do anything, Neri. Please just tell me you will forgive me.” The plaintive plea in his voice made her heart skip a beat.

“Get away from her,” Lucan growled.

Energy crackled through the air. She looked between Ryn and Lucan. The room suddenly felt dangerous.

She didn’t want them clashing like two epic Gods walking in their realm of existence. They were both trained as warriors. Ryn might look softer but she knew the hardness that existed under his deceptive shell of pretty boyishness. He’d always been capable of protecting her, that’s why it had hit her so hard when he’d left her high and dry.

“Lucan, I appreciate your concern but if you trust me, you’ll leave right now,” she said softly, praying that he had enough faith in her to leave without questioning her motives.

She might be attracted to Ryn but she’d never betray Lucan by sleeping with him without first telling Lucan that things were over between them. She wasn’t Ryn, she wouldn’t deceive Lucan the way that Ryn had deceived her.

She looked over at Lucan, and met his gaze. His eyes seared right into her skin. Conflicted emotions crashed across his rugged visage. He wanted to refuse her, she could see the challenge growing in his gaze, and feared he would ask her why she wanted to be left alone with Ryn.

“Fine,” he said tight-lipped.

The magic that burned within him illuminated his gaze and sent a shiver up and down her spine. Never before had so much been conveyed in one word simple word. Shivers rolled through her. She lowered her gaze away from Lucan, distaste for herself filling her mouth. How could she be so low to even think about leaving Lucan for her returned husband?

She couldn’t have a happily ever after with Ryn anyway, he was only in corporeal form for a day, and that simply wasn’t enough time.

Silently, Lucan gave her another searing look, turned and walked back out of the bedchamber.

“Good for you, Neri. You finally came to your senses and realized you can’t deny what we share.”

“Oh, for the sake of the Gods, get off your knees, Ryn. You have never knelt to me in your life before,” she sighed. She had to keep her backbone up, she couldn’t fall for Ryn all over again. She’d go down that same path and it would only end in heartache.