The Forgotten (16 page)

“Well, technically, I’m kneeling before you in my afterlife, but yeah, I get what you’re saying,” he said, still holding her hand and remaining on his knees. She felt so uncomfortable with him in this particular position.

Still, she couldn’t deny how it felt to have him holding her hand. Having him so close made her heart ache and tears well in her eyes. She thought she was as good as dead earlier and then Ryn had come and rescued her. He’d done what she’d always wanted him to do back when they’d been married—and to be fair, he had always stuck up for her before her infidelity. He had never allowed his parents to have a go at her without telling them to stop. He’d never taken another’s side that’s probably why when he’d left her high and dry she’d been so bloody shattered.

How could she give him what sought? She didn’t know if she could ever forgive him for what he’d done to her. The wounds were still raw, he’d cut right down to her soul when he’d turned his back on her in her darkest hour. And she knew she should be the better person and give him what he craved, and yet—she couldn’t do it.

It would be so easy to push it all behind her and let it stay there. It would be so easy to say the words he wanted her to say. It would be equally as easy to fall into his arms and feel his arms around her once again and savour the feeling of being pressed to his chest listening to his heartbeat, and let him tell her how much he adored her while he made sweet love to her. He knew just how to arouse soul shattering pleasure within her.

She lost herself in those good memories, the memories that time had tarnished slightly but could never quite erase. He’d been her first love.

By all means he wasn’t her true love—or was he?

“I can’t,” she forced the words out of her mouth knowing that she’d slice him deeply with her words.

“You can’t make love to me, or you can’t forgive me?” he asked slowly.

“Both,” she said, tears gathering in her eyes.

She was gutted—wracked by emotions she’d fought hard to forget. Why or why did he have to come back into her life? That’s right, he had to come back into her life to save her life. Without him coming back she would have been meeting him in the Afterlife.

Defeat shone in his dark purple eyes. Guilt clawed at her. God she was such a wretched, wretched woman. She wished she could make herself say the words he wanted to hear.

If she forced them out, she’d be lying, and a lie couldn’t give him what he desperately wanted, even though she wanted to tell him he was forgiven, she knew she couldn’t quite forget what he’d done to her.

“I told them you wouldn’t give me what I wanted to hear. What I’ve been dreaming to hear while I was locked in Limbo. They said that I should never stop hoping—they said that I needed to believe in you to do what was right. They said that deep in your heart you loved me still and there was hope for us.”

Her stomach swerved again, lurched once more and sunk.

“If that’s what they said then the Gods and Goddesses don’t know what radiates in my heart. They don’t know how much pain you caused me. And they obviously don’t know how long I’ve been carrying this crushing weight around with me.”

“They told me I had made you suffer unimaginable pain. They also said to me that I could earn your forgiveness by being the man you needed me to be all of those years ago.”

Her body felt shaky. She couldn’t dispute anything that he’d just said. She felt so bereft. How could she get over this stumbling block in her path?

“I’m sorry to deny you, Ryn. I really am.” She pried her hand loose from his grip and moved to put on her clothes. Turning away from him, she regarded how her hands were shaking. Taking deep cleansing breaths, she attempted to regulate her heartbeat, and calm her body so the shakes would disappear.

“You shouldn’t cover up your beauty with such masculine clothing.”

She chanced another glance his way, and as her eyes settled on him, for one brief moment she saw Rhiannon. Pain stabbed her heart again. Damn him for being so like the person she loved above anyone else in her heart.

Silently, she walked to him, and to his shock and disbelief, she wrapped her arms around him, sighing as he pulled her into his embrace.

How could he still smell the way she remembered? His comforting scent worked its way into her heart. Damn it, she couldn’t breathe.

With her face plastered against his chest, she spoke. “Thank you for giving me Rhiannon.” She tried to pull away, and was met with resistance. “You have to let me go, Ryn. It’s the best thing you can do for me. If what you say is true and you love me dearly, you will do what is best for me and what is best for my heart—you will let me go.”

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” he said, in the low husky drawl that used to induce her to let him make love to her.

“You must,” she whispered. “It’s the best thing for both of us.”

He kissed the top of her head and energy shot through her. She finally managed to wiggle out of his hold.

“Never,” he whispered. “Thoughts of you are the only thing that carried me through my time in my own version of Purgatory, and I won’t ever in a million years let that go. You will always have my love and devotion.”

“As for covering my beauty with manly clothing, I’d rather have leggings on when it comes to fighting Ulwyn. And I don’t fancy fighting him in anything but this. I don’t know how we’ll charge his castle with the ragtag group we have. Warriors they are not.”

“I know how you can do it. I wouldn’t want to interfere, though. I’m quite certain your precious Knight Mage will know exactly what to do. After all, he had a lot of time to think about battle strategies when he was stuck in the Obsidian Forest.”

She would need a good pair of sensible boots to see her through the coming struggle.

“Have you ever seen his prowess in battle? He might not live up to your expectations of him. Rarely does one who is a legend actually deserve the title.”

She rolled her eyes, as she pulled on her knee high boots. The jealousy in his voice was unmistakable.

“The first step toward earning my forgiveness would be to cast off how you used to feel when you were alive, Ryn. There is absolutely no reason for you to be jealous of Lucan. You said yourself that you can’t come back to the living world for good—therefore, you have no chance at a future with me.”

She turned around to face him, and watched as the wheels turned in his head. He had something up his sleeve—something he concealed from her, and she didn’t like not knowing what the hell it was! There was one thing about having an air of mystery to oneself and then there was just being a secretive asshole.

“I would give all that I have to have a future with you. I would risk any wrath. I would throw it all away if it meant I could have just a few years with you, alive and happy.”

A lump formed in her throat. She briskly wiped away the tear that had fallen onto her cheek.

“I can’t listen to you go on like this, anymore. If you knew how much pain you caused me you would cease it, posthaste.” She marched toward the closed bedroom door and pulled it open only to be met with Lucan’s stern visage.

He looked as if he was using all of his willpower to keep from tearing the door down. She felt completely drained both emotionally and physically. She wasn’t looking forward to the coming confrontation between Ulwyn and their forces. If Rhiannon and Ava didn’t arrive soon, they had a very slim chance of emerging victorious. They just didn’t have enough well-trained fighters in their ranks.

“Don’t say a word,” she muttered, brushing past Lucan to walk out into the hallway. She heard him turn and start following her.

“When does he return to whence he came?” Lucan asked.

“You have a very hard time listening, don’t you, Lucan?” she muttered, as she made her way down the steps. “Christi, Bianca? Where are you two?”

“I wouldn’t expect those wretched two back anytime soon,” Ryn said, standing at the foot of the steps.

Startled, she jumped and slammed backward into Lucan. “Will you stop doing that?” she growled out, watching as Ryn’s eyes danced with delight.

“If I can’t get a rise out of you, sweet one, than what is the point in coming back to this plane of existence?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, and placed her hands on her hips. “Explain yourself! You can’t just keep dropping cryptic remarks without elaborating, Ryn.”

“Loyalty is a tricky thing, Neri. Sometimes, one will give up anything if they believe they can win back the favour of the ones they once loved. Similarly, there are those who will get out while the getting is good because they believe that this pokey little village is about to be reduced to ashes.”

She shook her head. Pain started to radiate behind her eyeballs. She suddenly felt quite nauseated.

“Spit it out, Ryn.”

“They’ve thrown you to the wolves, quite literally in this scenario. They won’t be back here unless you defeat Ulwyn and they think the only avenue of survival is with you. Right now, they are betting on who they think will emerge the winner—and that’s their father—not you. It’s all about saving their own skin. They won’t go down fighting, they won’t stand and fight. They are just two silly little cowards.” He snorted in distaste.

“No,” she gasped. She’d been betrayed again. Pain radiated throughout her heart. “They wouldn’t do that to me. Not after all that I’ve done for them,” she gasped. Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t fall down weeping. She had to remain strong and stalwart.

“I betrayed you and I was sure as hell closer to you than those two girls were. No, I fear they always planned to go back to their dear Papa, my love.”

“He was a monster to them! He burned Bianca!”

Ryn snorted. “You always were a sucker for sad and sorry tales, Neri. If only you had a liar alarm within you. You should have seen those two coming from a mile away. They played you, sweet one, and I can’t say I like it one bit. I want to see them really burn for what they’ve done to you. The way they’ve hurt you they should be shot and pissed on in my estimation.”

“Those burns that Bianca had were no act.”

“The silly little bitch did it to herself. She’s always had a problem with the strong stuff—that and the fact that she used to dabble in the dark arts as a kid. Her trouble with the bottle started when she was just a wee one. She’s been on the bottle since she hit puberty and found out she couldn’t shift.

Ulwyn might have despised his children for lacking what he holds so dear but he’s not the monster you think—he wouldn’t burn his own daughter. Just because the talent skipped her doesn’t mean his grandchildren wouldn’t inherit it and that little shit wants to secure his legacy.”

“I need to sit.” She pushed past Ryn and went to sit on a chair. “That means the members of the Resistance are all in peril.”

“They are all dead. Ulwyn had them killed moments before he had his henchmen go after you.”

“Are you speaking sincerely?” Lucan asked, anger threading through his otherwise calm tone.

“I wouldn’t lie about such serious matters,” Ryn said, casting his gaze toward her. “Tell him, Neri. I am not lying. You might not have a lie detector with others, but you always could read me rather well. Remember what happened when you confronted me about my harem?”

“I asked you if it was true and you tried to lie to me. The only way you could keep things from me was by keeping me ignorant, if I ever doubted you, if I ever asked you directly I always knew if you were being straight with me. I hate to say it, Lucan, but Ryn speaks the truth. We are royally screwed.”

“So basically, we are surrounded on all fronts by the enemy, and there is no one but us to fight Ulwyn. I never should have let Mother Spratt return to her Temple.”

Clattering sounded outside of the tavern. Lucan ran to the front door and opened it.

“They are burning the Temple to the ground,” Mother Spratt cried out, her eyes were wild. “This is sacrilegious. They are courting the wrath of the Gods by doing such a despicable thing!” Her white robes were covered in soot, it looked as if she’d been on fire at one point for the bottom half of her robes were missing and completely blackened. She shakily clasped her holy staff.

He put a comforting arm around her and brought her into the safety of the Tavern. Her entire body was trembling, and Neri was pretty certain it was shaking with pent up rage over terror.

“They shouldn’t have done that. The Gods and Goddesses will not look kindly upon that act of violence. Rhiannon was our patron Goddess. She’s going to be spitting nails to know that they desecrated such a place of worship. It was her Temple, and her wrath will visit those who destroyed it. Most might know her as the Goddess of Wisdom here in Shardizar but she is also the Goddess of War—there is a reason why she was the patron Goddess of the Hunters.”

“In Avonry, she is the Goddess who protects women and children,” Neri whispered, fear coiling in her heart. This couldn’t be happening. Someone who would attack a place of worship like a Temple was an ungodly man indeed!

She distantly heard Ryn say, “Our daughter will do all of those things, she is wise, and can hold her own in a battle, and during her reign she will be the champion of women’s rights and she will protect the children and make sure that child labour becomes a thing of the past in Avonry.”