The Fiery Ring (38 page)

Keeping her voice steady, Joy edged forward, knowing that no tiger could be pushed into doing something it didn’t want to do. Brutus was probably as nervous as Joy was, and he crouched even lower as Joy advanced an inch at a time. “All right, Brutus, be a good boy. Come on now, we’re going to go back and get in the cage.”

Brutus suddenly whirled and turned to his left and made one of those magnificent leaps that tigers are capable of.
At least he’s headed back in the right direction,
Joy thought. She dashed after him and then stopped abruptly when she saw he had stopped and whirled to face her again. “Come on, boy, you’re going in the right direction. Go this way.” She continued to speak strongly but gently and showed no fear. As she advanced, Brutus swung from side to side, and she thought he was going to charge. But then he moved back in the direction of the cages.

The two seesawed back and forth. When Brutus tried to move to the left, Joy would step that way and wave the training stick with a stern command. “No, not this way, Brutus!” When he moved to the right, she did the same thing. It was like herding a recalcitrant kitten, except this kitten carried death in his jaws and razor-sharp claws.

How long this went on Joy didn’t know, but it seemed like forever. Finally she reached the menagerie. She saw Doak
appear, and he nodded at her and said quietly, “Mr. Chase has got the other two. He’s comin’ to help.”

Relief washed through Joy, and she even heard herself breathing the words, “Thank you, God.”

Joy never knew what it was that set Brutus off. They were almost to Brutus’s cage when, without warning, the big cat leaped straight at her. She had no time to dodge, and she cried out, “Back, Brutus!” and struck at him. But he slashed at her with his mighty front paw and caught her on the leg. She felt the flesh tear and heard her slacks rip, and before she knew it, she was under the animal. Reacting instinctively now, she dropped the stick and punched his nose as hard as she could. That hurt the cat enough to make him rear back, and as he retreated, she felt the heat of his breath and saw the gaping red mouth and savage teeth.

Then she heard Chase, who had thought to grab his whip. He popped it at Brutus’s nose, which startled the beast, and herded him into the cage. Joy rolled over and tried to sit up, despite the searing pain in her leg, but immediately felt light-headed and lay back down. Doak ran to her side and said, “Are you all right, Miss Joy?”

“No, Doak, he got my leg,” she whispered as she felt the blood pouring out. She heard the sound of metal on metal as Chase closed the doors of the cage. Almost at once he was back, his face pale.

“How bad is it?”

“It’s pretty bad, I think.” The pain was coming now in waves, and Chase scooped her up, saying, “We’ll have to get you to the hospital.”

As Joy clung to Chase she knew she had escaped death by an eyelash, and as his feet pounded on the hard ground, she felt secure in his arms. She held on to him, thinking,
It must have been God. I would have been dead if Chase hadn’t come when he did.

****

Several nights later Dr. Knox was bent over examining Joy’s leg. Chase stood over to his left. Joy was so sick she could hardly hold her head up. Chase came over and took her hand. “You all right, Joy?”

“Not really,” Joy whispered. “I haven’t been able to keep anything down all day.” She looked at Dr. Knox and said, “Is my leg all right?”

Knox was a big, burly man with a thick southern accent. “No, it’s not all right,” he said quietly. “It’s not healing properly. I thought we had it all taken care of the night you were brought in, but something has gone wrong. Your leg is badly infected. I’m afraid it could be blood poisoning. That may be what’s causing all the nausea.”

Fear gripped Joy’s heart, and she tightened her grip on Chase’s hand. “What . . . what can you do about it?”

Dr. Knox did not answer for a moment. He chewed his lip and said, “We’ll take good care of you, but I must warn you that you might get a lot sicker before you get better.”

Joy groaned. She couldn’t imagine being much sicker. She hesitated to ask the question that was now on her mind. “Doctor . . . am I going to die?”

“I don’t want to be that pessimistic, Miss Winslow, but in all honesty, this is indeed very, very serious. But we’ll do everything we can.”

Joy closed her eyes as another wave of nausea swept over her.

“I’ve sent for a colleague of mine from St. Louis. He’s a specialist in these matters. If anybody can help, it’s him.”

“Don’t worry, Joy,” Chase said, “God will be with you. You’ll be up and out of here before you know it.”

Joy felt tears form in her eyes, and the vision of Chase’s face swarmed so that she could not see him clearly. “Stay with me, Chase,” she pleaded. “Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t worry. The circus can do without me. They pulled out yesterday.”

Joy sank back on the pillow, but she clung to Chase’s hand.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered again, and then she descended into the darkness of unconsciousness.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Home at Last!

The worst sensation was that she was falling from some terrible height—down, down, down into a black hole. She would tense her muscles and brace herself for striking the bottom, and her ears would be filled with the roaring of a tornado. Sometimes she would open her mouth and try to call out, but the howling wind would fill her lungs, stifling her cry.

Sometimes there would be no sound at all, merely an eerie quietness that seemed to have its own tiny echo deep inside. And with the quietness there would come a light—soft and gentle—bathing her in a warmth that drove away the bone-cracking chill that wracked her.

Sometimes she would dream she was on fire, her body parched with the scorching heat, but then when the heat became unbearable she would feel a coolness come over her face, and cool moisture would bathe her burning body, washing away the pain and the fear.

More than anything she had the feeling she was drowning, trapped under a horrible weight far beneath the surface, swallowed in darkness. More than once she almost broke through but would always sink back into the stygian blackness. In that dark abyss she learned to distinguish, somehow, between the hands that touched her and the voices that spoke to her. One voice and one touch was more soothing and more comforting than the rest. The voice would seem to call her up out of the dark pit, and although she couldn’t understand the words, she knew this one was trying to help her.

And then everything changed. She rose out of the darkness and opened her eyes cautiously. Memory came rushing back, and although she tried to speak, her lips were terribly dry. She finally whispered, “Chase—” and saw his eyes open wide. He leaned over her and put his hand on her brow. It seemed cool, and she tried to speak.

“Wait a minute. Let me get you some water.”

Joy lay there and heard the sound of water pouring. It was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard, and then his hand was behind her head and she felt the coldness of the glass and gulped the water down, grasping at the glass with her hands. The water spilled down the sides of her mouth and ran down her neck, and that felt good.

“Take it easy. Just little swallows at a time.”

She stopped obediently, and he held her firmly until she had drained the glass. “You can have some more in a minute,” he said. He put the glass down, then leaned over her. “How do you feel?”

“I’ve been so far away. . . .” She looked around the room. “How . . . long have I been here?”

“Not long,” he said quickly. “You’ve been having a hard time, though.”

Joy said, “Could I have some more water?”

“Sure.”

She drank again and then said, “I remember coming to the hospital, but I got so sick.”

“You have been pretty sick, Joy.”

Joy looked down and said, “My leg. I remember. Brutus clawed me, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did.” She saw him hesitate; then he said, “The wound got infected. You’ve had a very high fever. We’ve all been worried about you.”

Joy studied him and saw that he looked pale and drawn. Her eyes went to the clock on the wall. It was almost two o’clock. From the sun streaming in the window, she knew it
was afternoon. “Why aren’t you doing the act? It’s time for the matinee.”

Chase laughed softly and took one of her hands in his, saying, “The circus will have to wait.”

Joy tried to understand this, but confusion swept through her.

“Does Travis know I’m in the hospital?”

“I called him to let him know. He came down as soon as he heard about the accident, and he’s been here most of the time. I sent him back to the trailer to get a little sleep. The city said we could keep one of the smallest circus trailers on the grounds for as long as you’re here.”

“But what about school? He’ll be missing classes.”

“His professors were very understanding and told him to stay as long as he needs to.”

She finally asked the question that was on her mind, “How’s my leg?”

He said quietly, “It has a pretty bad infection, Joy. That’s why you had such a high fever.”

Joy considered his answer, but then saw that he was fidgeting and avoiding eye contact. “How bad is it?”

“The doctors aren’t happy.”

“Would you help me sit up?”

For a moment Chase hesitated, then said, “I guess it’d be all right.” He cranked the bed up, and as it slowly came up into position, she looked down at her leg. She pulled the sheet back and saw that her leg was swathed in bandages. She tried to bend it, and pain shot through her.

“Don’t try to move it. Look, Joy, I’m going to go get Dr. Knox. He’s here making his rounds.”

Before Joy could speak, he turned and left the room. Joy stared at her leg as if it belonged to someone else. She knew there was more to her condition than Chase was telling her, and fear began to nibble at her. This was the first time she had ever been seriously hurt, and it wasn’t an experience she intended to repeat.

Dr. Knox came in followed by Chase. Knox approached the bed, saying, “Well, now, you’re awake.” He put his large, rough hand on her brow and then took her wrist. As he stood there silently, his bright blue eyes studied her, and finally he said, “You’ve given us all quite a fright.”

“I’m sorry. What’s wrong with me?”

Knox did not answer at once, and his hesitation increased the fright that ran through Joy. “What is it?” she cried, and her eyes went to Chase, who was standing slightly behind Dr. Knox.

“The infection in your leg has gotten out of hand. We don’t know why. We’ve tried everything we know to do. We even went in and cleaned out the wounds again, but—”

“What is it?” Joy whispered.

“If the situation doesn’t improve soon, we may have to take more . . . well, more serious measures.”

Joy lay there staring at him, not wanting to hear the rest but knowing that she must. “What kind of measures, Doctor?”

Knox chewed his lower lip and then, after a moment’s silence, said reluctantly, “We may have to amputate the leg, Miss Winslow.”

Knox’s words struck Joy like a fist, and she stared at him in disbelief. Her eyes went to Chase, and she cried out, “No, Chase, don’t let them do it!” She reached out, and Chase shouldered his way past the doctor. He put his arms around her and held her. “It won’t happen,” he said fiercely. “God won’t let it happen!”

Joy clung to him in her weakness, tears running down her cheeks. She could not face the possibility of losing her leg, and she whispered, “Please, Chase, don’t let them do it.”

****

Joy did not fall back into a coma, but she slept fitfully. From time to time the nurses would wake her for a bath or to give her some medication. Chase was usually there, but once
when she opened her eyes, she found Travis, and he went to her side at once. “Hello, sis,” he said quietly.

“Travis, they say if my leg doesn’t get better they might have to—”

She could not finish the sentence. Even saying the words frightened her.

Travis’s grip tightened on her hand, and he said, “We serve a great God, Joy. He’s able to do all things. You’ve got to believe that He’s going to do a healing work in you.”

Tears began to roll down her face. She cried so easily now, it seemed. “How God must hate me.”

“Don’t be silly,” Travis smiled. “He loves you. You know that.”

“But I’ve been so awful.”

“Haven’t we all? But Jesus died for awful people. He died for sinners, and that includes us. Don’t think about yourself. Think about Him. He died for you.”

Joy lay there as Travis spoke comforting words for a long time, mostly quoting Scripture. Finally she said, “I don’t have any faith at all.”

“God has dealt to every man the measure of faith, Joy, and I have faith, and Chase has faith, and our family has faith. They’re all praying for you.”

“What family? Who’s praying for me?”

“The Winslows. Chase called Tom Winslow, and he got the word out to the family about your accident. So you’ve got a whole chain of Winslow prayer warriors all over this country, and we even heard from Barney Winslow in Africa. They’re all praying for you.”

Joy closed her eyes and held tightly to Travis’s hand. She said no more, but as she drifted off again into sleep, somehow the intolerable burden seemed to have lightened.

****

When Joy awakened, it was dark in the room except for the light coming in from the hallway. She saw Chase standing
by the window looking into the darkness. She whispered his name, and he turned quickly and came to her.

“Am I any better, Chase?”

“No, the leg’s still got the doctors puzzled. They don’t know why it’s not healing.”

“I don’t know either.”

Chase put his hand on her head and stroked her hair gently. “Sometimes,” he said finally, “God gets our attention through difficult circumstances. When we won’t listen to Him, He has to stop us for our own good. I’ve been praying so much lately, and I think that’s what’s happened to you.”

Joy shook her head. “I’m so scared, Chase.”

“Listen, Joy, something has been coming to me over and over again. You know we don’t always understand whether a thought that comes to us is from God or is something that we just happen to think of, but this has come to me so strongly that I think we have to pay attention.”