Authors: Gilbert Morris
“What is it?”
“God seems to be telling me that you need healing in your spirit as well as in your body. You’ve told me that you grew up going to church and listening to sermons, and you’ve heard the Gospel many times. But I think God wants you to make a total surrender to Him. Will you do that, Joy?”
“I don’t . . . I don’t know how, Chase.”
“You know, I didn’t know either. Most of the time, when I was searching for God, I was trying to think of some way that I could please Him to make Him happy. I thought if I could make God happy enough, He would forgive my sins. But don’t you see, Joy, that’s just another kind of work. We can no more please God by being good than we can please Him by being baptized or taking communion or going to church. All those are good things, but they’re not what God longs for most.” Chase’s voice became softer, and he said, “I finally just gave up and said, ‘God, I’m a rotten man, and I’ll never be anything else. Take anything you want in me, and I’ll be anything you want me to be, but I’m helpless.’ I prayed
something like that, and the minute I gave up my own efforts to be good, the Lord Jesus came into my heart.”
Joy finally nodded and said, “I’ll try it, Chase, if you’ll help.”
“Of course I’ll help. Why don’t we both pray? I’ll pray for you, and you call out to the Lord. I don’t think the words matter much. He sees the heart.”
The two joined hands, and Chase began to pray as Joy struggled to put what was in her heart into words. She was terrified at the future, but at the same time she was conscious that there were things in her past she had to confront. Almost immediately she thought of her hatred for the Tatums, except for Opal. She had been troubled about this before, but now, in an agony of spirit, she began to cry aloud, “Oh, God, I was wrong to feel hatred for Albert and for Olean and for Witt. Forgive me for that. I’m sorry.”
After crying out for forgiveness, she was silent for a moment and then finally whispered, “I can’t do anything, Lord, but I want to be saved. I want to be free of all this. And now I ask you simply to come into my heart and do whatever has to be done, because I know that only you can do it, Jesus.”
Joy continued to call on the name of Jesus, asking Him to cleanse her and to make her a new person. Finally the desperation seemed to lessen and, encouraged, she called out even more fervently. The more she prayed, the more she was aware that something was taking place in her spirit. She paused then as Chase prayed for her. She lay there silently with her eyes closed and her hands in Chase’s, and a great peace began to envelop her. Chase continued to pray, but she did not understand his words. She was only conscious of the fact that the weight that she had carried like an army pack for years was gone!
She opened her eyes and whispered, “Chase?” and when he looked at her, she said, “I’m trusting in the Lord now. Jesus has taken away the burden!”
“Praise the Lord!” Chase whispered fervently. He leaned
over and kissed her on the cheek, and his hand pressed against her hair. “Praise God for His goodness.” He straightened up, and his expression was exultant. His eyes seemed to glow, and he nodded, saying, “The other thing God’s told me to do is to anoint you with oil and pray for your physical healing. I’m going to see if I can find some oil.” He turned and crossed the room. When he stepped outside, he saw a nurse and said, “Do you have any oil, Nurse?”
The nurse, a tall, angular woman, stared at him. “Oil! What kind of oil?”
“It doesn’t matter. Motor oil, baby oil, mineral oil—anything you’ve got.”
The nurse laughed. “I’m a Pentecostal myself. I know what you want.”
“You’re right. I want to anoint Miss Winslow with oil.”
“Well, come along. I don’t think we have any holy oil from Jerusalem, but we’ve got something.”
Chase followed her to the nurses’ station. She stepped into a storage room and came out quickly with what looked like a quart of oil. “Use all you want,” she said, “and I’ll be praying for God to heal that young lady.”
“Thanks.” Chase whirled and went back to Joy’s room. He did not speak but opened the top and poured a few drops of the oil out into his palm. He set the bottle down on the table and then dipped his finger into the oil and put it on Joy’s forehead. “Oh, God,” he said, “you have commanded us to pray for those who are sick, and I pray for Joy. I pray that you will smite this infection, root and branch. In the name of Jesus and according to your commands, Father, we anoint this child with oil. And we are expecting and believing as we come to you, that you’re going to manifest your power and your strength, and we thank you in advance for what you’re going to do, and we’ll thank you all of our days. In the name of Jesus, be healed!”
****
Dr. Knox came in at dawn to check on Joy and was surprised to see her looking comfortable and alert. He removed the bandages from her leg, and then he stood bolt upright, his eyes wide open. “This leg looks better—a lot better!” He put his hands on her skin and gasped. “The fever’s gone!” He put his palm on Joy’s forehead, held it for a moment, then shook his head. “Well, I’ve never seen anything like this.” He leaned over Joy and said, “How do you feel?”
Joy replied, “I feel better than I ever have in my life, Dr. Knox.”
Knox turned to stare at Chase, who was sitting in a chair beside the bed. “You and your prayer team must have gotten serious.”
“You’re right about that, Dr. Knox. This is all God’s doing.”
Knox scratched his bushy silver head vigorously, then laughed. “Well, bless the Lord, I believe you’re right. I know it wasn’t anything we doctors did, since there was nothing more we could do for her. It’s good to see that God’s still in business.”
Knox clapped Chase on the shoulder and then reached over and gently took Joy’s hand in both of his large ones. “I’m real happy, young lady. I must admit, my wife and I have been doing some praying for you ourselves.”
“Thank you, Doctor. The Lord is good.”
As soon as Knox left the room, Chase came over and stood looking down at Joy. Neither of them said anything, but she put her hand out, and when he took it, she said, “Thank you, Chase.”
Chase squeezed her hand and then released it. “I’ve got to go make some calls,” he said. “Travis and the Winslows and our circus friends—they’ll all want to hear about your miraculous recovery.”
“Hurry, Chase, I want everybody to hear what God has done for me.”
****
Get-well cards were piled high on the small table beside Joy. She sat in a wheelchair now and read them carefully. Some were new, and others had been there for quite a while. She couldn’t believe it was already October thirtieth. She leaned over to smell the delicious aroma of the red roses that made a splash of color in the gray hospital room. Chase sat on a chair watching her. “You look great,” he said. “Only two days ago you were at the bottom of the pile, and now you look as fresh as those roses.”
“Isn’t it wonderful!” Joy exclaimed. “All these letters and flowers and the phone calls.”
“You and Travis have a wonderful family,” he said softly.
“I’ve got to answer every one of these. Would you get my pen and some paper? I think they’re in that drawer there.”
“All right.”
Joy saw that Chase was more serious than usual today. Since she had been out of danger, most days he had come to her room bearing such a happy spirit that it had lifted her even more. But today he looked troubled.
“Is something wrong, Chase?”
“Well, there is a problem. I didn’t want to bother you with it, but—”
“What is it? It’s not Travis, is it? He’s all right?”
“Oh yes, he’s fine. But things have been going on in the world since you’ve been in the hospital.”
“What sort of things?”
Chase rose and walked over to the chair where he had laid his coat. He fished a newspaper out and said, “This country is in real trouble, Joy.”
Joy took the paper and read the large headline in bold black letters. “ ‘Stock Market Collapses.’ ” She looked up and said, “What does it mean?”
“It means this country’s in for some hard times. You can keep that paper. You might want to show it to your kids some day. America will never really be the same again. Not for a long time anyway.”
Joy began reading the paper but soon shook her head. “I don’t understand it. What happened?”
“Not even the smartest men in Washington know that. All they know is that all over this country people have lost everything. Stocks that were worth a hundred dollars a share are not worth a cent now. Families have been wiped out. I heard on the radio that some very rich men have jumped out of windows, killing themselves, because they went bankrupt.”
“How awful!”
Chase sat down and pulled his chair closer to her wheelchair. “It’s going to be a terrible time for America. They’re calling it a depression, which really means everybody’s broke.”
“But, Chase, the circus will still go on, won’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it will, but it’ll be hard. People who don’t have bread to eat won’t have money to go to the circus. But America’s going to come through it. It won’t be easy, but we’ll make it.”
“What am I going to do, Chase?”
“You’re going to go to Sarasota, Florida, with me just as soon as Dr. Knox says you can travel.”
“But what will we do there?”
“Stella decided to cancel the winter season again this year and hope the crowds will be bigger again in the spring. So we’ll winter with the circus like we did last year. The season’s almost over anyhow.”
“But what will we do? It may take me a long time to get well.”
“Doesn’t matter. We’ll be all right. I don’t want you to worry, do you hear me?”
Joy put her hand out, and Chase took it. “I won’t worry,” she said.
Chase left shortly after, and Joy spent a good part of the day writing thank-you letters to Winslows all over the world. One of them was an admiral in the United States Navy. She had never heard of him, but he had written her the kindest letter imaginable. She wrote, of course, to Tom Winslow, for
she knew he had gotten the prayer chain going, encouraging Winslows all over the world to pray for her.
She was scribbling away when suddenly Stella House appeared in the open doorway. Stella was well dressed as usual, in a wool coat with a fur collar and a cloche hat over her hair. Joy stared at her and could not think of a single thing to say.
Stella came into the room and a small smile turned the corners of her lips upward. “I’d guess you didn’t expect to see me.”
Joy could only stammer, “Well . . . no, I really didn’t.”
“Can’t say as I blame you. How do you feel?”
“Oh, I’m much better now. It didn’t look good there for a while. Did Chase tell you?”
“Yes, he did. Among other things he told me that you were going to lose your leg, and God healed you.”
“That’s right.” Joy asked, “Would you like to sit down?”
“No, I started to write you a letter, but I had to come back through Springfield anyhow. You’re going to be all right?”
“Yes, thank God I will be.”
“You’ll be doing the act again with Chase next season?”
“Oh yes.”
“Some people lose their nerve after they get hurt. I can see that’s not the case with you.” Stella looked down at Joy, and something came into her eyes that Joy could not identify. Regret, perhaps, but there was also tension there.
“What is it, Mrs. House? Everything’s all right, isn’t it?”
“Things are falling apart nicely, thank you.” Stella grimaced, then shook her shoulders. “It’s not going to be easy making ends meet next year. We’ll need you and Chase as headliners. We were going so great earlier this year, and Chase tells me the big cats will be even better next year.”
“That’s good to hear. Chase says he’s taking me to Sarasota as soon as I can get out of here.”
“That’s what he told me.” Stella again paused, and then she shook her head. “I guess you know I tried everything I could to get him back.” She saw Joy’s confusion and laughed shortly.
“I guess everybody saw it; I wasn’t all too subtle about it. But it didn’t work. Whatever we had is gone, at least for him.” She put her hand out, and when Joy, surprised, extended her own, she gripped it and nodded, “Congratulations.”
“For what? You mean for getting well?”
“Among other things. I’ve got to go. I’ll be seeing you in Sarasota. I’m glad you’re feeling better, Joy.”
And then she was gone. Her visit confused Joy, and when Chase came in later, she told him that Stella had been there.
“She said she might be coming. What did she say?”
“Among other things, she congratulated me. She also told me she had tried everything she could think of to try to get you back.”
Chase studied her face. “I told her it was all over. It took me quite a while to find that out for myself, but I did. We didn’t have much the first time, Joy. It was all physical. I was young, and I thought it was love, but it wasn’t.”
“Are you sure, Chase—that you’re over it, I mean?”
“Yes.” He hesitated, then said, “Say, do you feel like traveling?”
“Yes!”
“Dr. Knox says you’re well enough to leave the hospital. We can leave bright and early tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll be glad to get to Florida, and pretty soon I can help take care of the cats.”
“You’ll take it slow and easy. I’m the doctor now.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Travis told me he’d be coming in to see you later today to say good-bye.”
“Okay, Chase. See you tomorrow.”
****
Chase and Joy had pulled the trailer across the country with the big car that had belonged to Colonel House. They had taken it easy, stopping often to rest her leg and staying in hotels at night. Now as they finally pulled into Sarasota,
Joy said, “It’s so good to be back. Look, the ocean! I can’t wait to go wading in it.”
“It’s pretty cool in November, but we can walk on the beach. Just short walks at first.”
“My leg feels fine.”
“I was worried about how you’d take the long trip.”
“No, it feels good.” Joy was expecting Chase to turn to the left and go to the place where the circus quartered for the winter. Instead he turned right and drove along a road that followed the coastline. “Where are we going?” she asked.