The Feminine Mystique (58 page)

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Authors: Betty Friedan

BOOK: The Feminine Mystique
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11.
Benjamin Spock, “Russian Children Don't Whine, Squabble or Break Things—Why?”
Ladies' Home Journal
, October, 1960.

12.
David Levy,
Maternal Overprotection
, New York, 1943.

13.
Arnold W. Green, “The Middle-Class Male Child and Neurosis,”
American Sociological Review
, Vol. II, No. 1, 1946.

Chapter 9. THE SEXUAL SELL

1.
The studies upon which this chapter is based were done by the Staff of the Institute for Motivational Research, directed by Dr. Ernest Dichter. They were made available to me through the courtesy of Dr. Dichter and his colleagues, and are on file at the Institute, in Croton-on-Hudson, New York.

2.
Harrison Kinney,
Has Anybody Seen My Father?
, New York, 1960.

Chapter 10. HOUSEWIFERY EXPANDS TO FILL THE TIME AVAILABLE

1.
Jhan and June Robbins, “Why Young Mothers Feel Trapped,”
Redbook
, September, 1960.

2.
Carola Woerishoffer Graduate Department of Social Economy and Social Research, “Women During the War and After,” Bryn Mawr College, 1945.

3.
Theodore Caplow points out in
The Sociology of Work
, p. 234, that with the rapidly expanding economy since 1900, and the extremely rapid urbanization of the United States, the increase in the employment of women from 20.4 per cent in 1900 to 28.5 per cent in 1950 was exceedingly modest. Recent studies of time spent by American housewives on housework, which confirm my description of the Parkinson effect, are summarized by Jean Warren, “Time: Resource or Utility,”
Journal of Home Economics
, Vol. 49, January, 1957, pp. 21 ff. Alva Myrdal and Viola Klein in
Women's Two Roles—Home and Work
cite a French study which showed that working mothers reduced time spent on housework by 30 hours a week, compared to a full-time housewife. The work week of a working mother with three children broke down to 35.2 hours on the job, 48.3 hours on housework; the full-time housewife spent 77.7 hours on housework. The mother with a full-time job or profession, as well as the housekeeping and children, worked only one hour a day longer than the full-time housewife.

4.
Robert Wood,
Suburbia, Its People and Their Politics
, Boston, 1959.

5.
See “Papa's Taking Over the PTA Mama Started,”
New York Herald Tribune
, February 10, 1962. At the 1962 national convention of Parent-Teacher Associations, it was revealed that 32 per cent of the 46,457 PTA presidents are now men. In certain states the percentage of male PTA heads is even higher, including New York (33 per cent), Connecticut (45 per cent) and Delaware (80 per cent).

6.
Nanette E. Scofield, “Some Changing Roles of Women in Suburbia: A Social Anthropological Case Study,” transactions of the New York Academy of Sciences, Vol. 22, No. 6, April, 1960.

7.
Mervin B. Freedman, “Studies of College Alumni,” in
The American College
, pp. 872 ff.

8.
Murray T. Pringle, “Women Are Wretched Housekeepers,”
Science Digest
, June, 1960.

9.
See
Time
, April 20, 1959.

10.
Farnham and Lundberg,
Modern Women: The Lost Sex
, p. 369.

11.
Edith M. Stern, “Women Are Household Slaves,”
American Mercury
, January, 1949.

12.
Russell Lynes, “The New Servant Class,” in
A Surfeit of Honey
, New York, 1957, pp. 49–64.

Chapter 11. THE SEX-SEEKERS

1.
Several social historians have commented on America's sexual pre-occupation from the male point of view. “America has come to stress sex as much as any civilization since the Roman,” says Max Lerner (
America as A Civilization
, p. 678). David Riesman in
The Lonely Crowd
(New Haven, 1950, p. 172 ff.) calls sex “the Last Frontier.”

More than before, as job-mindedness declines, sex permeates the daytime as well as the playtime consciousness. It is viewed as a consumption good not only by the old leisure classes but by the modern leisure masses. . . .

One reason for the change is that women are no longer objects for the acquisitive consumer but are peer-groupers themselves. . . . Today, millions of women, freed by technology from many household tasks, given by technology many aids to romance, have become pioneers with men on the frontiers of sex. As they become knowing consumers, the anxiety of men lest they fail to satisfy the women also grows . . .

It is mainly the clinicians who have noted that the men are often less eager now than their wives as sexual “consumers.” The late Dr. Abraham Stone, whom I interviewed shortly before his death, said that the wives complain more and more of sexually “inadequate” husbands. Dr. Karl Menninger reports that for every wife who complains of her husband's excessive sexuality, a dozen wives complain that their husbands are apathetic or impotent. These “problems” are cited in the mass media as additional evidence that American women are losing their “femininity”—and thus provide new ammunition for the mystique. See John Kord Lagemann, “The Male Sex,”
Redbook
, December, 1956.

2.
Albert Ellis,
The Folklore of Sex
, New York, 1961, p. 123.

3.
See the amusing parody, “The Pious Pornographers,” by Ray Russell, in
The
Permanent Playboy
, New York, 1959.

4.
A. C. Spectorsky,
The Exurbanites
, New York, 1955, p. 223.

5.
Nathan Ackerman,
The Psychodynamics of Family Life
, New York, 1958, pp. 112–127.

6.
Evan Hunter,
Strangers When We Meet
, New York, 1958, pp. 231–235.

7.
Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Female
, pp. 353 ff., p. 426.

8.
Doris Menzer-Benaron M.D.,
et al.
, “Patterns of Emotional Recovery from Hysterectomy,”
Psychosomatic Medicine
, XIX, No. 5, September, 1957, pp. 378–388.

9.
The fact that 75 per cent to 85 per cent of young mothers in America today feel negative emotions—resentment, grief, disappointment, outright rejection—when they become pregnant for the first time has been established in many studies. In fact, the perpetrators of the feminine mystique report findings to reassure young mothers that they are only “normal” in feeling this strange rejection of pregnancy—and that the only real problem is their “guilt” over feeling it. Thus
Redbook
magazine, in “How Women Really Feel about Pregnancy” (November, 1958), reports that the Harvard School of Public Health found 80 to 85 per cent of “normal women reject the pregnancy when they become pregnant”; Long Island College Clinic found that less than a fourth of women are “happy” about their pregnancy; a New Haven study finds only 17 of 100 women “pleased” about having a baby. Comments the voice of editorial authority:

The real danger that arises when a pregnancy is unwelcome and filled with troubled feelings is that a woman may become guilty and panic-stricken because she believes her reactions are unnatural or abnormal. Both marital and mother-child relations can be damaged as a result. . . . Sometimes a mental-health specialist is needed to allay guilt feelings. . . . Nor is there any time when a normal woman does not have feelings of depression and doubt when she learns that she is pregnant.

Such articles never mention the various studies which indicate that women in other countries, both more and less advanced than the United States, and even American “career” women, are less likely to experience this emotional rejection of pregnancy. Depression at pregnancy may be “normal” for the housewife-mother in the era of the feminine mystique, but it is not normal to motherhood. As Ruth Benedict said, it is not biological necessity, but our culture which creates the discomforts, physical and psychological, of the female cycle. See her
Continuities and Discontinuities in Cultural Conditioning
.

10.
See William J. Goode,
After Divorce
, Glencoe, Ill., 1956.

11.
A. C. Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
, Philadelphia and London, 1948, p. 259, pp. 585–588.

12.
The male contempt for the American woman, as she has molded herself according to the feminine mystique, is depressingly explicit in the July, 1962 issue of
Esquire
, “The American Woman, A New Point of View.” See especially “The Word to Women—‘No'” by Robert Alan Aurthur, p. 32. The sexlessness of the American female sex-seekers is eulogized by Malcolm Muggeridge (“Bedding Down in the Colonies,” p. 84): “How they mortify the flesh in order to make it appetizing! Their beauty is a vast industry, their enduring allure a discipline which nuns or athletes might find excessive. With too much sex to be sensual, and too ravishing to ravish, age cannot wither them nor custom stale their infinite monotony.”

13.
Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
, p. 631.

14.
See Donald Webster Cory,
The Homosexual in America
, New York, 1960, preface to second edition, pp. xxii ff. Also Albert Ellis,
op. cit
., pp. 186–190. Also Seward Hiltner, “Stability and Change in American Sexual Patterns,” in
Sexual Behavior in American Society
, Jerome Himelhoch and Sylvia Fleis Fava, eds., New York, 1955, p. 321.

15.
Sigmund Freud,
Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex
, New York, 1948, p. 10.

16.
Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
, pp. 610 ff. See also Donald Webster Cory,
op. cit
., pp. 97 ff.

17.
Birth out of wedlock increased 194 per cent from 1956 to 1962; venereal disease among young people increased 132 per cent. (
Time
, March 16, 1962).

18.
Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
, pp. 348 ff., 427–433.

19.
Kinsey,
et al., Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
, pp. 293, 378, 382.

20.
Clara Thompson, “Changing Concepts of Homosexuality in Psychoanalysis” in
A Study of Interpersonal Relations, New Contributions to Psychiatry
, Patrick Mullahy, ed., New York, 1949, pp. 218 ff.

21.
Erich Fromm, “Sex and Character: the Kinsey Report Viewed from the Standpoint of Psychoanalysis,” in
Sexual Behavior in American Society
, p. 307.

22.
Carl Binger, “The Pressures on College Girls Today,”
Atlantic Monthly,
February, 1961.

23.
Sallie Bingham, “Winter Term,”
Mademoiselle
, July, 1958.

Chapter 12. PROGRESSIVE DEHUMANIZATION: THE COMFORTABLE CONCENTRATION CAMP

1.
Marjorie K. McCorquodale, “What They Will Die for in Houston,”
Harper's
, October, 1961.

2.
See David Riesman, The Lonely Crowd; also Erich Fromm,
Escape from Freedom
, New York and Toronto, 1941, pp. 185–206. Also Erik H. Erikson,
Childhood and Society
, p. 239.

3.
David Riesman, introduction to Edgar Friedenberg's
The Vanishing Adolescent
, Boston, 1959.

4.
Harold Taylor, “Freedom and Authority on the Campus,” in
The American College
, pp. 780 ff.

5.
David Riesman, introduction to Edgar Friedenberg's
The Vanishing Adolescent.

6.
See Eugene Kinkead,
In Every War but One
, New York, 1959. There has been an attempt in recent years to discredit or soft-pedal these findings. But a taped record of a talk given before the American Psychiatric Association in 1958 by Dr. William Mayer, who had been on one of the Army teams of psychiatrists and intelligence officers who interviewed the returning prisoners in 1953 and analyzed the data, caused many pediatricians and child specialists to ask, in the words of Dr. Spock: “Are unusually permissive, indulgent parents more numerous today—and are they weakening the character of our children?” (Benjamin Spock, “Are We Bringing Up Our Children Too ‘Soft' for the Stern Realities They Must Face?”
Ladies' Home Journal
, September, 1960.) However unpleasantly injurious to American pride, there must be some explanation for the collapse of the American GI prisoners in Korea, as it differed not only from the behavior of American soldiers in previous wars, but from the behavior of soldiers of other nations in Korea. No American soldier managed to escape from the enemy prison camps, as they had in every other war. The shocking 38 per cent death rate was not explainable, even according to military authorities, on the basis of the climate, food, or inadequate medical facilities in the camps, nor was it caused by brutality or torture. “Give-up-itis” is how one doctor described the disease the Americans died from; they simply spent the days curled up under blankets, cutting down their diet to water alone, until they were dead, usually within three weeks. This seemed to be an American phenomenon. Turkish prisoners, who were also part of the UN force in Korea, lost no men by disease or starvation; they stuck together, obeyed their officers, adhered to health regulations, cooperated in the care of their sick, and refused to inform on one another.

7.
Edgar Friedenberg,
The Vanishing Adolescent
, pp. 212 ff.

8.
Andras Angyal, M.D., “Evasion of Growth,”
American Journal of Psychiatry
, Vol. 110, No. 5, November, 1953, pp. 358–361. See also Erich Fromm,
Escape from Freedom
, pp. 138–206.

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