The Education of Sebastian (13 page)

Fate had thrown us together: who was I to deny it? No, that wasn’t right. I simply no longer cared. I had chosen – willingly, knowingly, deliberately. I chose love over law. And I didn’t care.

Finally, Sebastian stopped the car on a remote stretch of road and cut the engine.

“I always wanted to see you in the moonlight,” he said softly. “I didn’t think you could look more beautiful.”

He reached over and touched my cheek, running one cool finger down the line of my jaw.

I captured his finger in my mouth and bit it gently, teasing him with my teeth. He gasped, then held his breath, his eyes closing.

“Oh, God, Caro!”

Air hissed through his lips.

The sound was beyond arousing. I wanted him. I needed him.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and his, sliding onto his lap, taking him by surprise again. I ran my fingers over the soft bristles of his hair as he wrapped his arms behind my back and pulled me to him. I kissed him deeply, my tongue pushing between his lips, stroking his, and he returned the kiss with ferocity. I felt him hardening beneath me and I knew I wasn’t going to deny him again – or deny myself.

His tongue was urgent in my mouth, tension and ardour in equal amounts, pouring out of him.

When I pulled away I was breathless.

Oh, fuck, no! I couldn’t, damn it!
I’d already taken Plan B once: I didn’t want to have to take it again – especially not so soon after the last time.
Was I ever going to remember the basics?

“Caro!” he moaned.

“I know. I want you, too. But we can’t. I’m not on the pill.”

His eyes flared and he reached for me again, then stopped.

“You’re not? But…”

“No… I… took care of… last time.”

“What?”

“I got some emergency contraception, Sebastian.”

“Oh.”

It was clear he didn’t know what to say to that. I dropped my gaze and shifted uncomfortably. He winced.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

I tried to move off him, but he broke the awkward silence first.

“I… I’ve got condoms,” he said, his voice uncertain.

I blinked in surprise.
Had he been expecting this to happen – or just hoping?
I decided either way, it didn’t matter. I wanted him.

“Oh, right. Good.”

I scrambled off his lap and leaned back on my seat, my eyes wide. He reached inside his jeans and pulled out a small packet, then stopped again.

I didn’t know what to do. I knew what I
wanted
to do but I’d never put a condom on a man in my life. My uncertainty turned to pity as I stared at the stricken expression on Sebastian’s face.

I leaned towards him and ran my hand up his thigh, feeling the denim worn smooth with a thousand washes, then over his erection, tracing the outline greedily. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

I unbuttoned his jeans and his eyelids fluttered but remained closed. I licked my lips, and slowly tugged down the zipper. He moaned softly as I let my hand explore through his briefs. Then I pulled him free and ran my hand down his length. When I looked up his eyes were burning into me, hot with desire.

Emboldened, beyond bold, I leaned forwards, resting my hands on his thighs. I took him in my mouth and moved down, taking him deeper in my throat.

He cried out softly, his hands gripping my shoulders.

I sucked gently and felt his fingers tighten, but it wasn’t enough for me; I wanted more. I sat up slowly.

“I want you inside me, Sebastian,” I whispered.

He nodded, wordless, his eyes blazing and naked.

In the darkness I felt around on the floor until my fingers touched the packet of condoms that he’d dropped moments before.

“I’ve never done this,” I said quietly.

I ripped open the packet and felt the smooth, slightly tacky, almost powdery texture. I frowned, wondering what that would feel like inside me.

“I’ll do it,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

I looked up, surprised. “You know how to?”

He looked embarrassed. “Just… you know… for practice. Not with a girl or anything.”

“Oh. Okay.” I didn’t know how to respond to that. Under the circumstances, being prepared was coming in handy.

He reached down to his jeans.

“Wait: I want to see you.”

I pulled the hem of his outer garments to emphasize my point.

I saw his throat move as he swallowed and he closed his eyes briefly, then with one, swift move he hauled his T-shirt and sweatshirt over his head and tossed them onto the rear seat. He kicked off his sneakers, lifted his hips quickly and pulled his jeans and briefs out of the way.

His skin was silver in the moonlight and I longed to run my hands over every inch of him. But, patiently, if greedily, I watched as he pinched the nipple of the condom with one hand, placing it at his tip, then, he held it firmly in place, and rolled it down his length with the other.

He looked so beautiful and so vulnerable, gloriously naked and trusting. I reached under my dress, pulled my panties down, and wriggled out of them.

Taking a deep breath, I climbed awkwardly onto his lap, facing him, and rested my hands on his shoulders. The steering wheel dug in my back and I wondered briefly if this would be easier on the passenger side, but I didn’t want to unsettle him, us, with more fumbling. And I wanted him. Oh, God, I wanted him.

I ran my right hand down his chest and he shivered under my touch. I could feel his heart beating a frantic tattoo and I knew he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him. God, what a feeling.

Moving as carefully as I could in the cramped conditions, I positioned myself over him. Our eyes locked for a second, then I reached down and gripped his erection with one hand and lowered myself down onto him.

He groaned loudly but I was lost in the sensation of feeling him deep inside me once more. I clenched around him and he gasped, a fleeting look of astonishment on his face. I gripped him again and his eyes flew open.

“Oh, God, Caro!”

I kissed him deeply and his responding ardor scorched me. He ran his hands up my thighs, bunching the material of my dress around my waist so he was cradling my ass, caressing the flesh with his fingers.

Moving my hands to his shoulders, I raised myself off him and watched with delight as his eyes closed and he groaned again. As I slid back onto him, he flexed his hips upwards and I gasped as he thrust into me.

Every nerve ending in my body felt aroused and needy and grateful. I rose and fell again, more urgently, and with each movement he thrust into me.

Sweat broke out across my body as I moved faster and faster. My thigh muscles burned from the awkwardness of the position, but I was barely aware of the discomfort. My body began to tremble but then Sebastian called out, thrust deeply and stilled, burying his face against my chest, his hands still gripping my ass.

We sat locked together for some moments before his eyes opened and he looked up at me. He smiled. It was like seeing a sunburst in the darkness and my heart leapt.

“Caro,” he said.

Then, still smiling, he closed his eyes and leaned back, pulling me to him. We lay wrapped in silence.

Chapter 6

Reluctantly, we disentangled ourselves and I shuffled back to my own seat, tugging my dress down to cover what wasn’t left of my modesty.

Sebastian pulled on his jeans and reached onto the back seat for his T-shirt.

“Leave it off,” I said. “I like to look at you.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he grinned back at me.

The windows were steamed up and the car smelled of sex. The moon cast a bluish light across the dunes and the ocean was an icy grey. I shivered.

“Are you cold?”

“No, not really. Are you?”

He shook his head, a wide grin threatening to break out again.

“Are you going to stop smiling at any point?” I asked, amused.

“Nope. Shouldn’t think so.”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“A walk?” He looked longingly at the back seat and I knew what he was thinking because I was thinking it, too. But there was something else I wanted to do first.

“Yes, a walk: perambulation, a stroll, an amble, a short journey made on foot.”

“Oh. That sort of walk. Okay, I guess.”

He half-fell out of the car and scooted around to open my door.

“My gallant knight.”

“Your anything,” he said seriously. “But I want to be your everything.”

Oh, Sebastian. You already are.

“I want to make love to you again,” he said softly.

“So do I.” It was important to reassure him. “But I want to walk on the beach with you. I want to walk on the beach with you and hold your hand and to not be afraid that someone will see us.”

My smile was sad and he leaned down to kiss me softly. He wasn’t the only one who needed reassurance.

The breeze was cool in the night air so I insisted that Sebastian wear his sweatshirt, in spite of my selfish desire to watch the ripple and play of his muscles as he moved.

I’d left the house in just my summer cocktail dress but luckily the car had a picnic blanket in the trunk. Sebastian draped it carefully around my shoulders.

The tide was a long way out, the shoreline stretching almost to the horizon; we wandered along the cold, flat sand, under the moonlight, leaving the footprints of lovers. I couldn’t help staring up at him as we walked hand-in-hand. His strong, clear profile, and soft, sensuous lips were thrown into relief by the moon’s light; he was beautiful. And for now, he was mine.

“What?” he said, looking down at me, amused.

“You’re so beautiful, Sebastian. And when I look at you I feel… happy.”

He swallowed and turned to face me.

“I want to make you happy, Caro. You look so sad most of the time.”

“Do I?”

He nodded and ran his thumbs across my cheeks before leaning down to kiss me.

His lips were so gentle, his kisses so sweet. I pulled him closer, wrapping the blanket around both of us so were shrouded under the moon.

Desire blazed through me again. I hadn’t known it could be so consuming, so devastating, so utterly impossible to think of anything but consummation. And seeing Sebastian so desperate for me, I was aroused beyond belief.

“Let’s find our dune,” I said.

He grabbed my hand and started dragging me up the beach.

“I can’t keep up!” I shouted at him, half-laughing, unable to match his long strides.

But he didn’t slow down; instead he swept me into his arms and staggered towards the nearest dune where he carefully stood me on my feet.

“Here,” he said, his voice commanding.

“Yes, sir!” I threw him a quick salute and a reluctant smile spread across his face.

“Sorry,” he said. “I just really want you.”

I threw the blanket at him and he caught it one-handed.

“Don’t be sorry,” I said. “Let’s have a picnic.”

“We haven’t got any food.” He looked puzzled.

“I was planning on eating you.”

His eyes widened with shock then a dazzling smile lit up his lovely face.

“Okay,” he said shyly.

For a moment the blanket floated above the sand as he spread it out, a matador with his cape.

I sat down rather inelegantly and watched him sink down beside me. I lay back and held up my arms to him in invitation. Accepting, his heat and weight pressed me into the blanket, his hands greedy on my body.

His touch was becoming braver and more confident and I celebrated in that; because I’d been the one to teach him. And there was no doubt that I was learning from him, too. I was beginning to understand what it meant to be loved. It was terrifying.

He rolled onto his back and pulled me on top so he could unzip my dress. His fingers were hasty, fumbling deliciously. He pulled the dress open at the back and ran the palms of his hands across my bare skin. I groaned into his throat and slid my teeth to his neck, biting more sharply than I’d meant.

Suddenly the dress seemed constricting. I pushed away from him, knelt up and pulled it off. For the second time in a few hours it was thrown to the ground; this time I didn’t care.

I unhooked my bra and dropped it to the sand, my nipples hardening in the cool air. He sat up, his eyes wide and needy, then tugged his sweatshirt over his head.

“You’re still wearing too many clothes,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I think I should undress you. Lie down.”

He obeyed immediately and I knelt across him feeling wanton with need. His hands skimmed up my thighs, over my hips, crossing my stomach until they rested on my breasts, stroking them, caressing them. A sound like purring came from deep within his throat and he sat up, the hard muscles of his stomach contracting, and he nuzzled his face between my breasts. Then, angling his head to one side, he sucked my left nipple, hard. I gasped and his eyes flickered up but his mouth didn’t move away, his tongue teasing me, flicking from side to side. I arched my spine, throwing my head back. He ran his nails lightly across my skin then cupped my buttocks and squeezed them. His erection was hard, trapped by his jeans, pushing against the material as if it was trying to climb through the denim to reach me.

I pulled my breast out of his mouth and winced as I felt the sharp raking of his teeth.

I sat further back on his thighs and undid the single button of his jeans. I fixed my eyes on his, wanting to savor his expression as I unzipped his pants.

He leaned up on his elbows, his mouth slightly open, his breathing unsteady.

Almost more slowly than either of us could bear, I pulled the zip down, then, running my fingers over his sweet skin, I bent down to kiss him below his waistband.

He tasted different, not so good as before and I realized the odd, rubbery taste was from the condom we’d used earlier.
Oh well, live and learn. Now time for the next lesson
.

“Take off your pants and pass me a condom,” I ordered, my voice low and brittle.

He reached into his jeans pocket and passed me a foil packet. I rolled to one side and examined the little packet curiously while he kicked off his pants.

“Weird things, aren’t they?” I said.