The Duet (18 page)

“There were pills. A lot of pills; a whole shitload. I don’t even know what they were, but I’m guessing some pretty expensive stuff by the way he was trying to hide them from me. They fell out of his jacket when he fell asleep and I managed to tuck them under the seat before the cops got there. I don’t know how they didn’t find them, but they didn’t. When Cooper got his car back, I looked for them but they were gone.”

“So you think the cops found them and never reported it?”

Jay shook his head. “That’s what I thought at first, but I think that’s only because I’ve watched too much Law and Order or something. I actually wanted to believe that; that some officer on the force was dirty enough to steal the pills and try and sell them himself. It’s better than the alternative.”

“You think Cooper found them?”

Jay sighed. “When I got back from rehab, I felt like Cooper was different somehow. It didn’t take me too long to realize it was because he was strung out.”

“I know he drinks a lot, way more than he should, but Jay…”

“Izzy, he has a problem.”

I shook my head, not wanting to believe it. “No. No, you’re mistaken. Cooper is just all twisted up about Trisha, for some unknown reason. He isn’t… he wouldn’t… I would know if he was in trouble.”

“He doesn’t want you to know. He made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you. He made promises to me, too. He said he’d stop, he said he’d get help, he said all sorts of things.”

Jay ran his hand down his cheek, and I felt something stir inside me. It was completely inappropriate to be thinking of Jay naked right now. I didn’t know if it was this tender, loyal friendship side of Jay that I was seeing that turned me on. Or if it was just that I wanted to ignore all he’d just said about Cooper. Denial was my friend.

So I compartmentalized my thoughts of Cooper for the moment. Right now my need to kiss Jay was all that I could concentrate on. I was sober and coherent, and there was nothing between us but a measly kitchen table.

I stood and walked to where he was standing. He eyed me warily. I smiled. He didn’t smile back. I wasn’t deterred.

Standing on my toes I reached up and ran my hand down his stubbly cheek like I’d seen him do a million times. Then I leaned in and bit his bottom lip lightly. I waited for a response. He stood like a statue, arms to his side, hands resting on the counter behind him. I nipped him again, harder this time.

“Izzy, stop.” His voice was firm, but it wasn’t convincing.

“No,” I whispered against his ear. My teeth grazed his earlobe for good measure, and I felt him shudder.

Now he had no excuses. I wasn’t drunk, we were alone, and there was no hiding the fact that he wanted me bad. And the feeling was mutual.

My lips moved over his, but still he made no effort to join in. Now the challenge was just fueling my need to feel his hands on me. I ran my hands through his dark, wavy hair, my fingernails scraping lightly along his scalp. I kissed his neck, feeling him swallow, and I could see the way he clenched his teeth, just trying to resist. But he was losing the battle.

I took a half step back and looked up at him. I knew my eyes were dilated, and that he could see how turned on I was. His own eyes were hooded, half-closed, but I could still see the green just underneath his lashes.

I put my hand over his heart, my eyes still fixed on his. “Jay,” I said softly, my tone a mix between sultry and pleading.

We stood like that for a good long while. The kitchen was silent except for the sound of an old battery clock on the wall, and the air was teeming with sexual tension. I knew what I wanted to do, but I waited a heartbeat longer to see if he would break first.

He didn’t disappoint me.

“Oh fuck it.” He yanked me toward him and buried his face in my neck. Then just as his lips found mine and all sense of reason had left the both of us, the front door swung open. Cooper’s voice was like squealing brakes on a speeding train. “Honey, I’m home!” he yelled. We stepped apart just as he entered the kitchen.

“Hey kids!” It only took him about two seconds to assess the situation. “You finally did it, huh? That’s good news indeed. Congratulations!” Cooper patted Jay on the shoulder while pulling me into a giant bear hug. I swatted him away.

“No, you butthead. I slept on the couch.” I snatched a donut out of the bag on the table and shoved it in my mouth to disguise my quivering lips, and probably flaming face.

“Oh,” Cooper’s face fell. Then he instantly perked back up. “You finally moving back in?“

I kissed him on the cheek, glanced quickly over to Jay to see that he was absently cleaning the already spotless counter with a paper towel.

“Not today, buddy.”

“Why not?” he pouted, and if Jay hadn’t told me all he had, the look on Cooper’s face would have been comical. But when I looked at his face, really looked at him, I was struck with a dose of reality.

My friend was in big trouble. And I was terrified there was nothing I could do to help him.

27

I arrived at the studio only a half an hour late. I was surprised to see only Jay there. They had the space booked until later that afternoon, and Cooper had been hounding everyone about taking the recording sessions more seriously. My vocals were still not up to Cooper’s standards, and I had been informed that he was losing patience with my half-assed attitude. I had every intention of getting this over-with today, and now Cooper wasn’t even around.

“Where is the King of Studio Recording?” I asked Jay as I took off my sweater and pulled my hair back into a sloppy twist. It had been cool that morning when I’d left the house, but suddenly I felt way too warm.

“He’s with Trisha.” I watched Jay as he took in my outfit. I was wearing a faded denim miniskirt with a frayed hem, half-calf cowboy boots, and a pale pink t-shirt that pulled tight across my breasts and showcased my black, lacy bra nicely. It was quite a departure from my usual look, but I’d been in a funny mood this morning, and the country-girl meets Madonna thing was working for me.

Apparently it was working for Jay too. His eyes might as well have been hands for how in tune my body felt to him since the other day in his kitchen.

“Well, that’s just perfect. I thought he said I had to get this shit recorded today, or he was going to ditch me altogether.” I had known Cooper was kidding at the time, but those had been his exact words to me.

“I’m gonna do it.” Jay turned away from me, and started messing with the knobs on the sound board.

“Whatever,” I tried to play it nonchalant like, but I was a nervous wreck inside. The whole reason I had wanted us to record our tracks separately was so that I didn’t have to look at Jay while I sang.

“Do you need to warm up?”

“Nope. I’m good. Let’s go.” I entered the recording room and put on the headphones. Jay’s voice in my ears made me jump.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he said. God, he sounded even more sexy that close to my head. I made a hand motion for him to start, and the song began.

I only got halfway into the first verse when Jay stopped. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Try it again. You’re flat.”

“Flat? I have perfect pitch, Jay. I’m not flat.”

“You are. Try it again,” he repeated.

I did, only to have him stop me mid-verse yet again. “What the hell? That was fine!”

“Yeah, it was fine, but it wasn’t half of what you’re capable of. Again.”

Now I was mad. Where the hell was Cooper? I didn’t want to do this stupid thing in the first place, but making me sing to Jay was torture.

We started and stopped two more times. I ripped off my head phones in frustration and glared at Jay through the glass. He met my stare with equal ferocity, then gestured for me to put my headphones back on. I did, but under duress.

“Izzy.”

“Yes, Jay,” I said sweetly.

“Have you watched the YouTube video at all?”

“I’ve been trying not to,” I said honestly. I’d seen clips of it, but it was hard for me to watch.

“Well, I’ve seen it. Many times. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think I was watching a completely different person trying to sing right now, than the one in that video.”

“Jesus, Jay. I’m doing the best I can.”

“No, you’re not.” He sighed and rubbed his cheek. “Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Do you relate to this song? Even a little bit?”

I swallowed, thinking of the words.
I’ll try to fix you.
Yes, I related. The song was about us. I’d known it all along. That’s why it was so difficult to sing it.

“Turn around,” Jay said.

“Why?”

“Just turn around so that you’re not looking at me. I want you to close your eyes and forget that I’m here. And then I want you to sing to whoever you picture when you hear the lyrics. Sing like you’re the only two people in the world; like your whole heart is hanging out there.”

I did what he said, but it seemed silly since the one I pictured was standing right behind me.

“Ready?”

I nodded, closing my eyes as the first guitar notes kicked on. I sang the first verse, harmonized with his pre-recorded part. I squeezed my eyes tighter and clenched my fists at my side as I listened to the words in his solo verse. They affected me.
I can’t be what you need me to be.
I finished the song, and the room was silent. I tried to gather my wits before turning around. He hadn’t stopped me, but he hadn’t told me it was good either.

I turned around slowly, thinking I’d see him behind the glass, adjusting something or other on the sound board. But he wasn’t there. He was standing right beside me, very close. I reached up to take off my headphones, but his hands covered mine and we lifted them off together. He tossed them aside, his emerald eyes never looking away.

We stood toe to toe, our bodies just a hair apart, but not touching. If he was waiting for me to do something, he might be waiting a while. This time I was following his lead.

The seconds stretched out, and unable to take the tension anymore, I cracked. “So, was that good?” I asked. I guess breaking the ice with a bit of a joke was better than just standing there. I hadn’t completely caved; I still hadn’t kissed him, despite every single cell in my body crying out for me to do so.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice hoarse. “That was good.”

More time-standing-still moments. My heart was racing and inside my head I was begging him to read my mind. His hand finally rested on my hip, touching the tiny sliver of skin exposed between my top and my skirt. The contact sent jolts of electricity up and down my spine. His eyes were now staring at his hand as his thumb drew small circles on my hip. When he looked up, his eyes were much darker. I licked my bottom lip, and that was the spark he needed. His hand came up behind my neck, pulling my face toward his. I felt his lips meet mine as his other hand traveled up my side, grazing my breast and making me shudder. I tipped my middle toward him and he grinded against me. I let him back me up against the wall. His body felt so delicious against mine; hard and powerful, and commanding. I had always been a big fan of foreplay, but I’d never wanted someone inside me this badly. This wasn’t going to take long at all.

Jay pulled off my shirt with one fluid movement, and my skirt hit the ground not far behind. I kicked off my boots and watched with utter fascination as his own shirt was peeled off, revealing a perfect male torso, the right hip covered in scrawling script that I would read up close later. Right now, there were other matters to attend to.

I tucked my shaky hands in his waistband and started unbuttoning his jeans, but he backed away a little, just out of my reach. He was looking at me, wearing nothing but bra and tiny little matching underwear. It was as if he were drinking me in. But I was like a woman possessed with need. I pulled him to me again.

“Look later, Jay. Please…” I begged.

I didn’t need to tell him again. He shed his pants, then pulled me down on the floor with him. My bra was unhooked, my underwear discarded – I have no idea how – and I was straddling him. He lowered me onto him and we both groaned in perfect harmony, our bodies still for just a moment, savoring the feeling.

I started to move, closed my eyes for just a second, then reopened them when he sat up, one arm pinning me to him at the waist, the other hand fanning through my now loose hair. My legs wrapped around his back, and I leaned backward just a little. We fit perfectly together, rocking in absolute synchronization. If I died right now, I would have lived a full life. He felt amazing, better than I could have ever imagined.

I moved faster, more urgent. I was very close, and he knew it. He bit my bottom lip, then held my head in place so that we were eye to eye. His piercing green gaze locked on me as I fell over the edge, and he wasn’t far behind. There was a final shudder before we were both still, the moment too huge to analyze or contemplate. I didn’t want to leave this spot. Ever.

“Izzy?” Jay asked, breaking through the silence.

“Yup.” My head was resting on his shoulder, my ankles crossed behind him.

“I have to get up.”

“No. Stay right here.” I nuzzled in closer, my cheek brushing against the smooth hardness of his chest.