The Duet (14 page)

He snapped the lid shut and tossed the laptop toward the couch. It missed and crashed to the floor, but Jay barely noticed. “Why the hell would you put that up?” He said, rounding on Cooper. “Does Izzy know about this?”

“No, man. I wanted to tell both of you, but she disappeared and you were kind of acting like a dick after the show.”

“Maybe I was acting like a dick because you blindsided me by tricking me in to singing that shit in the first place. It was supposed to be you and Izzy. I didn’t ask for this.”

Cooper shrugged and held his hands out to his side. “Look, it was Trisha’s idea to put it on YouTube. I tried to talk her out of it at first, but when I thought about it, it made sense. You should have heard what people were saying about you guys. And I guarantee I wasn’t the only one recording it. Eventually someone else would have put it out there. You just can’t keep something that good under wraps for long.”

“A couple of people sharing a grainy video of some band they saw on a Saturday night, is a hell of a long way from the circus outside. How does something like this even happen?”

“It’s nuts, right? You and Izzy could probably make some money off this. I mean, did you see all those reporters out there?”

Jay pulled his hands through his hair in frustration. Cooper just didn’t get it. Jay was a private person. He could barely manage walking out on stage when he was just performing in the background. To be the center of attention, especially this kind of attention, was unthinkable for him.

He knocked on Izzy’s door. She needed to know about this right away. He had no idea how she would react, but if he had to guess, he’d say she wouldn’t be happy. As much as she shined onstage and loved to be the center of attention, he didn’t think this was what she wanted. Nor would she be too thrilled about being linked to him in such a public way.

Izzy didn’t answer, so Jay opened the door slowly. He had no idea what to say, but he’d figure it out. She wasn’t in her room. Her bed was rumpled, but that didn’t mean she’d slept there.

“Did she come home last night?” He whirled on Cooper who was looking at the laptop again.

“Huh?”

“Cooper, focus! Did you see Izzy after the show?”

“Uh, hmmm. Not sure, man. I was pretty out of it, ya know?”

Jay didn’t have time to deal with Cooper’s shit right now. He grabbed his wallet, phone and keys, and without another word, surged through the front door. It wasn’t as bad as it had looked outside – there were maybe a half dozen people gathered near the door of his apartment – but it was still bad enough. He ignored all the shouts, not even hearing the stupid questions they threw at him, and sped away, almost running over one brave and ballsy soul who jumped in front of his car. He tried to call Izzy, but she didn’t answer. He had no idea where to even start looking for her.

He kept driving, using the time to try to get his head on straight. Maybe he was overreacting about this whole thing. So what if their stupid little video went semi-viral. Shit like this happened every day. It wasn’t like he and Izzy were going to instantly become so famous they could never go out in public again. This was just a passing thing. It would blow over in a couple of days. Until then, he would lay low, and life would go on as normal.

He tried Izzy’s phone again. It went straight to voicemail. It was after ten now, so he stopped in the store she worked, only to be informed that she had quit a week ago. He didn’t know why he was surprised that she hadn’t told him. It wasn’t like they ever talked to each other about anything substantial.

Had she spent the night somewhere else? He wondered if she even knew about the video. Maybe she hooked up with some guy and she was still with him right now. He started recounting in vivid detail, every one of the four and a half minutes of that song. The shaky, nauseous feeling in his gut, the way the whole room seemed to disappear when her voice hit the first note, and the look in her eyes at the end. Had he imagined it all?

A half a million people would testify that he hadn’t.

Frustrated and with nowhere to go, Jay pointed the car west. He called Cooper on the off chance that Izzy had gone home, but Cooper hadn’t seen her. Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on the O’Donnell’s door.

“Jay,” Mrs. O’Donnell said as she swung the door open. He stepped inside and she put both her hands on his cheeks and gave him a look that spoke volumes. Not only did she know about the viral video, she knew he wasn’t okay with it.

He followed her into the kitchen, the lingering smell of bacon and coffee in the air, and stopped short when he saw Izzy sitting at the table, her hands cradling a cup of tea. She had either been crying, or hadn’t slept all night. Her eyes were puffy and her face void of any makeup. Her usually wild bright red hair, was straight and tame, tucked behind her ears. She looked beautiful and vulnerable, and not happy to see him.

His legs somehow carried his body to the seat across from hers. A plate of bacon and scrambled eggs materialized in front of him, which he ignored. And Mrs. O’Donnell discreetly left the room. He was alone with Izzy, and she was staring at him vacantly.

“You heard?” he asked softly.

She nodded and he watched her neck move as she swallowed. “Cooper called here about ten minutes ago. I left my phone at the club last night.”

“You were already here?”

“I spent the night in Michelle’s old room.”

He nodded as if it made perfect sense, but he was confused as hell. She sipped her tea once, than pushed it aside. He picked at his bacon and stared at his hands. The silence stretched on.

“Did you know that I answered every one of those letters you wrote me while you were in rehab?” she asked suddenly.

“What?” Jay looked up.

Izzy nodded. “I did. I knew I couldn’t mail them to you, but I answered them as if you would get them. I kept them, hoping to give them to you when you came back.”

Jay was blown away. “Why didn’t you? Give them to me, I mean.”

“Well, for one, you were otherwise occupied those first few weeks back. And then, after that night where I yelled at you and humiliated myself, I realized that those letters represented a little piece of my heart, and as long as I held on to them… well…”

“Izzy,” Jay ran his hand across his cheek, trying to form something coherent to say. Mostly, he just wanted her to stop talking, because what she was saying was killing him.

“Don’t say anything. I know how hard it is for you. I know that the only way you can express yourself is through the words you write, and now I know that it’s also through music. Last night I came over here, not knowing where else to go. I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want to be around anybody. So Mrs. O’Donnell let me sulk in peace, vent for a little while, and try to sort out my head.

“I thought I was okay. But then this morning, Cooper called here. And I knew that I was in big trouble. Because the first thing that popped into my head when I heard the news, wasn’t how cool it was or how excited I felt at having so many people see me sing. No, the first thing I thought was how you would feel. And I knew right then, I could hold on to those stupid letters forever, it didn’t matter. You already have my whole heart, dammit. And I’m not really sure I’m happy about that.”

It was all just too much. Jay’s head was swimming in Izzy’s declaration, and he needed to get the hell out before he drowned. Had he had a pen, he could probably start scribbling away an honest response, but face to face, he felt like a complete clod. He didn’t look away from her, that much he owed her. He only hoped his face would express something resembling what he felt.

But when she sighed and stood up to dump her tea in the sink, he knew he hadn’t quite accomplished that.

He sat there for a few minutes, his head in his hands, an inner battle inside. Did he run or did he stay and attempt to trip over the words that had been dying to come out of his mouth for a very long time? Finally, he stood up slowly. Izzy was standing at the sink, looking at him, a look both wary and full of expectation. That glimmer of hope in her eye was what did him in. He knew he would disappoint her – no matter what he did, and no matter what he said. So better to let her down right now than years down the road when he didn’t live up to all that she deserved.

He calmly pushed his chair back under the table, and then he did what he always did. He ran.

21

I died my hair jet black. To match my mood. And also to hide from a world that had gone completely crazy over a silly little duet performed at a seedy little club in Kingston.

I moved in with the O’Donnell’s. There was no way in hell I could stay in the apartment with Jay after I poured out my stupid heart to him and he rejected me. Again.

Besides, it was quieter there. Nobody was camped out in front of their house waiting for the perfect photo. And Mr. and Mrs. O’Donnell were out most of the day and were good company when they were home.

I told Darden I wasn’t opening for the UnAmused anymore. When things died down I told Cooper I may do a song or two – with him – but that I never wanted to sing “Don’t” again. I informed both Darden and Cooper that if they brought it up one more time, I would kick them both in the nuts so hard, they would see stars for weeks.

They took my threat seriously.

I stayed out of Kingston in relative solitude for more than a week. But reality set in and I needed to find a job. I had left the outlet store a couple of weeks ago, and now without Darden’s, I had zero money coming in.

I picked a night when I knew the band was off, and drove to Darden’s, getting there just as they opened. I walked right in the front door without any hassle. There were a few reporters hanging out by the back employee entrance, but they weren’t even on high alert since it was an off night.

“Izzy!” Kate yelled from across the whole place. There weren’t that many patrons yet, so no one noticed.

I sat at the bar and waited for Kate to finish up with the customer at the other end before coming over to talk to me.

“Where’ve you been?” Kate said, giving me an air kiss and a pat on the hand over the bar. “It’s been nuts around here. Darden tripled the cover charge and had to hire an off-duty police officer and two more security to keep everybody calm. We packed in over four hundred this weekend – both nights. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

I nodded, and swallowed hard. I wasn’t so sure this was a good idea.

“Want a drink?” Kate asked, moving toward a customer to my left and taking his order. I shook my head.

I waited until she came back. “Kate, I need a job.”

“Oh, that’s awesome! You’re gonna play again? I missed you last week – everybody did.”

“No. No singing. Could you still use someone behind the bar?”

Kate ducked under the service area and came around to hug me. “Oh my God, girl! You have no idea. You should have seen me and Carl trying to keep up on Saturday. It got so bad, Darden even stepped back here for about an hour; and he never helps out.”

“I help out all the time, Kate. No one appreciates me around here.” Darden stepped out of his office, where he spent most of his time surfing the internet, and stopped short when he looked at me. “Izzy? Shit, I didn’t even recognize you. Did you come back to…” I gave him a pointed look in the crotch and he stopped talking.

“I was thinking more along the lines of tending bar, if you could use the help.”

“You ever tend bar before?”

“No, but I’m a quick learner.” How hard could it be, right? “And I’m sure Kate is a great teacher. I can start this weekend, if you want.”

Darden stared at me for a little longer than was necessary. And it wasn’t my face he was focused on. I was just about to give up and walk away, when he said, “No, this weekend will be too crazy to break you in. Can you start right now? Learn the ropes a little while it’s quiet?”

I nodded and Kate clapped her hands together. I followed her behind the bar and we got started.

Over the next two hours, I learned a lot. Most importantly, I learned that I was the worst bartender in the history of bartending, and I learned that Kate was quite possibly the most patient individual on the planet.

“Sex on the Beach and a rum and Coke,” someone yelled from my side of the bar. The crowd had picked up and I was on my own, trying to ease some of Kate’s burden.

“What’s in a sex on the beach?” I asked, proud of myself that I at least knew it was a drink she was referring to and not a proposition. I had completely embarrassed myself earlier when I smacked a guy who’d tried to order a Screaming Orgasm.

The customer, who looked like she might have had a little too much sex on the beach, if you know what I’m saying, rolled her eyes and spat back. “Jesus, are you new or something?”

I was about to make a scathing comeback, when I felt Kate’s hand on my back. “I got this,” she said near my ear. “Pull me two Coors Lights for that guy over there, and take his money.”

I handled that transaction smoothly, and moved down to the next customer. I breathed a sigh of relief when they also ordered beers; that I could handle. Only they ordered four different beers and once I poured them, I had no idea which was which.

“Is this the Heineken?” a snooty girl asked, her balance unsteady on the ridiculous shoes she was wearing.