The Dog Cancer Survival Guide (9 page)

Many readers feel uncomfortable with that last sentence. A cancer diagnosis is extreme, pressing and deadly. Doing anything that isn’t directly related to treating the cancer itself can seem like a waste of time. Surprisingly, dealing with disorienting emotions like disbelief, grief, anger, numbness, and shock is directly related to treating the cancer.

I didn’t always think that emotions played such a big a role. As an analytical scientist, I generally feel more comfortable talking about treatment options than talking about feelings.

My research changed my mind. There are certain realities that affect all humans, no matter how emotional or analytical we think we are. Let’s get a few reality checks.

If you are emotionally aroused (angry, sad, fearful, shocked, or numb), your brain is most likely blocked from learning anything new. Numerous studies have shown this to be true, and both Dr. Ettinger and I have personally experienced this phenomenon in our own practices.

When emotionally upset, our brains tend to narrow their focus to the topic causing the distress. Later, we remember mostly what upset us, and little else.

“When LP was first diagnosed, we were distraught and felt completely hopeless. My husband is an equine vet - yet he couldn’t deal with such devastating news any better than I did. We were emotional disasters - yet when I read Dr. Dressler’s book, I realized that everyone goes through the exact same things we were. We need to be strong for our dogs, we need to be focused. We don’t know where this journey will take us but we are now on a steady course. LP is a happy guy, he’s doing well right now and we’re taking one day at a time. I am sure this has helped LP.”

– Susie, Millwood, Virginia

You may have already experienced this. Think back to the appointment at which your vet gave you the diagnosis of canine cancer. Can you remember the details of what he advised? Or do you just remember hearing the words “cancer” or “six months”? Some people just remember the sweat on the vet’s forehead, or the color of his scrubs. Others remember that they’re supposed to feed a high protein diet, but not the median survival time for this cancer, the name of the recommended oncologist, or what supplements to get.

If you are reading this book while angry, sad, fearful, or numb, you run the risk of missing crucial information. You’re likely to fixate on an isolated fact that matches your current mood, while ignoring the context and the relevant advice. When you clear some of those emotions first, you will absorb what you read better: you won’t have to read a chapter over and over to understand it, or worse, make mistakes based on a faulty reading.

As Abraham Lincoln once said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”

Releasing your emotions – whatever they are – is not a waste of time; in fact, it is an efficient use of your time. The simple exercises outlined in the next chapter don’t take long. If you ignore them and just suppress your emotions, you’ll be wasting energy and time you probably need right now.

There is another reason you should deal with your emotions:

During periods of great stress, the human brain is likely to rely on old, usually unconscious, patterns or “rules of thumb” to make decisions, not logic.

The brain helps us live efficiently by building shortcuts for routine tasks. You may remember learning to tie your shoe, and how difficult it was to memorize all those steps in the right order. Today, you can tie your shoe while reading the paper, having a conversation or even when you’re half asleep. Your brain has built up rules of thumb so that you can tie your shoe on automatic pilot.

“Getting past the guilt at the very beginning is absolutely essential. You are no good to your dog while you’re wrapped up in yourself.”

– Mignon Owens, Jessup, Maryland

Using rules of thumb can be very effective when the stakes are low, but disastrous when the stakes are high, when we’re in a new situation, or when existing rules of thumb are irrelevant.

Unfortunately, if the brain is under what scientists call “disruptive stress,” (a cancer diagnosis certainly causes this level of stress for most guardians dealing with dog cancer), the part of the brain that is most active is usually the older (sometimes called “reptilian”) brain. This part of the brain is not rational; it’s instinctive. It tends to apply any rule of thumb that seems vaguely related, whether it is helpful or not. Depending upon the situation, this could be fatal.

For example, a guardian may have known a human who died of cancer after a long series of terribly painful chemotherapy treatments. This experience could have caused the creation of a rule of thumb about chemotherapy:
all cancer patients suffer during chemotherapy treatments, and then they die anyway.