The Dog Cancer Survival Guide (86 page)

“If you are facing the challenge of cancer with your beloved canine, please know that you are not alone. Your emotional pain is singular, yet it is shared by so many. Love your dog as much as possible each and every day. Do whatever you need to do in order to spend as much time together as possible, even if it’s just riding around in the car or lying on the floor together. Take photos. Lots and lots of photos. No matter what the outcome, this is a precious time. Speak in terms of positive things and tell your dog how great s/he is. There will be moments when you may feel overwhelmed with conflicting information, various treatment options, and differing opinions. Gather as much knowledge as you can at any given moment, and then make a decision based on what you know (at that moment) and how your heart feels (at that moment). If you have honestly done this, then do not second guess yourself as that can be excruciating. If a treatment plan isn’t working, be open to trying something else. And always be open to trying less rather than more. Never forget that your dog will tell you what you need to know, but you may have to be very patient and pay very close attention. Don’t worry if you cannot afford very expensive treatment options. Embrace what you are able to do and do not focus on the “what ifs”. Be thankful. Be thankful every time you hear the paws patting across the floor or feel the warm tongue on your hand, every time you see the glistening eyes and feel the soft ears. Give extra-long tummy rubs or neck scratches. Rejoice if you are given a good prognosis. And if you are not, remember that your dog is stronger than you are. Together you will be able to get through whatever comes next. Keep track of how enjoyable life is from your dog’s perspective. If the time comes when you must make a decision to help your dog through the end of this struggle, be there to love him/her throughout the process. It is a privilege to love a creature that much. Never forget that cancer cannot rob you of all the happy times. Keep the memories alive. Always remember that love is stronger than cancer. Always. No matter what.”

- Sarah N. Bertsch, Hudson, Wisconsin

T
here may come a time when you need to let your dog go; this chapter is designed to help you through this unfortunate time. It covers how to provide hospice care for your dog, what to expect if you choose euthanasia, and offers a few thoughts on grieving. If you are not ready for this chapter right now, you can skip it. Otherwise, please accept my heartfelt sympathy, and also my congratulations for having the strength of mind and heart to contemplate this final act of kindness.

For many guardians, this time is filled with crushing pain and deep sadness. I’ve also noticed that guardians who feel prepared for the end find more than just pain. Some also feel a deep sense of relief that their dogs’ struggles are over. A few feel a strangely vibrant, fierce sense of connection with their dogs.

First, the most common question I get. How do you know when it is time to let go?

“... every night, say to yourself “I did my absolute best for my dog today.” When things start to get bad, and there isn’t much you can do for your dog, still say” I did the best I could for my dog today.” How you, your family, your vet help your dog leave this life is what you will remember about the whole experience of his disease. Have a plan ready. I was so grateful that my vet came to my home, my grown children could be there, a service came to take him for cremation and returned his ashes. Everyone was so caring and respectful. I know it is very hard to think about this ahead of time. Believe me, it is worth it. On that day, you can again say “I did the best that I could for my dog, and myself.” ”

- Mignon Owens, Jessup, Maryland

In my experience, guardians know when the end of their beloved dogs’ lives are near. Some guardians see a pleading look in their dogs’ eyes, as if they are literally begging them to stop the pain. Others take an honest look at their quality of life and just cannot imagine their having to live this way for much longer.

Many guardians feel a
click
inside – a sudden realization that it is time to let their dogs pass. Sometimes others – your spouse, your vet, your children, your friend – feel the
click
, too.

How you handle that click is going to depend upon your own personality, beliefs and desires.

You feel the
click
, but think your dog still has some time left.
If this is you, you may look at your dog’s quality of life and feel that it still has more positives than negatives, or that certain positives outweigh the negatives. In this case, you may choose to continue with cancer treatments, while also acknowledging the click and emotionally preparing for the end.

For example, one guardian named Nancy despaired when Fergus lost his ability to walk, although he still ate with relish, and thumped his tail and smiled when she walked in the room. For her, that was evidence that he still wanted to “hang on.” She discontinued expensive chemotherapy treatments and continued all treatments that were minimally invasive and provided palliative support. A few weeks later, when his tail no longer thumped, and his smile didn’t last as long, she was emotionally ready to contemplate hospice and euthanasia.

You feel the
click
and know it is time to start hospice.
If this is you, you may look at your dog’s quality of life and feel that it has more negatives than positives. Although you feel that your time with your dog is limited, you do not want to shorten it – you simply want to make his last days with you as comfortable and pain-free as possible. The best choice for you may be to start providing hospice care for your dog.

For example, when Poppi stopped wanting to go for walks, had lost his appetite, and his other joys of life were slipping away, Jesse chose to start hospice care. He eliminated all cancer treatments and just focused on palliation, making Poppi comfortable and pain-free. He was surprised at how the hospice care seemed to give Poppi more time than he was told to expect – two whole weeks (more about this in the hospice section).

You feel the
click
and know it is time to put your beloved friend to sleep.
Guardians who feel that their dog’s quality of life has suddenly and sharply dropped often contemplate euthanasia. The quick release can seem very attractive when there is intense pain or a life-threatening, seemingly irreversible condition.

When Sue’s Chopper came to the end of his life, his health took a very sharp decline. He spent much of his time sleeping, breathing heavily and fitfully. Once it became clear that he would no longer get any more joy out of life, and that living had become, instead, a burden, Sue decided to euthanize her dear Chopper.

You feel the
click
and ignore it.
A few guardians resist the idea of their dog’s lives ending. If this is you, I recommend dealing with your resistance before trying to decide how to handle the
click
. It may be time to revisit
Chapter 18
and look at your dog’s Joys of Life.

Although we cannot control our dogs’ state of health, exercising what choices we do have can help us look back on this time with no regrets. As your dog’s guardian, it is important to identify the next step. Everyone has a voice inside that, if listened to, gives the best direction. The irony is that in a time of great emotion, it might be difficult to hear that voice.

You may need to take some time to clear your mind and listen to yourself. This is a time to consult your compass(ion).

This short exercise can help you if you do not hear your still, small voice.

1. Go to a place that feels safe and protected. If you have a friend or family member who is supportive and helpful, you might want her or him with you.
   
2. Let yourself feel your emotions, as honestly and deeply as you can. You might find yourself crying, yelling or lecturing out loud. Whatever comes up is normal and fine and you can handle it. Don’t stop until you are truly finished.
   
3. When you are finished, you might feel your emotions burn out, like a candle that has run out of wick, or you might just suddenly feel “done.” When you are truly finished, a sense of calm will likely well up in you; here will be a sense of clarity, fullness, and stillness. Your own emotions may still be present, and they will feel less intense and more manageable. You will be able to place them to the side for the next step.
   
4. Think of your dog and focus all of your attention on him. Ask yourself whether or not he wants to be here any longer. Feel yourself inside his experience, as much as you possibly can. Mentally review his life in the past, and compare it with his current experience. From this calm, connected state, allow the answer to your question to bubble up. It will come.
   
5. If you have any other questions, such as whether your dog wants hospice care or euthanasia, ask them while you are still in this state.
   
6. Take action on what you’ve learned.