The Doctor Is In (5 page)

Now he realized that she had probably never trusted him after that incident. How else could she think that he had numerous other chicks on the side now? It was utterly ridiculous, in his mind. Sure, she complained that he flirted too much, and she was probably right about that. How could he not, when his job provided easy access to so many lonely and vulnerable women? Sometimes, when he was acting in a way their partners weren’t, listening to all their problems and paying them compliments, they responded with adoration in their eyes. On a few occasions Kasen had let his ego get the best of him and flirted with a female patient, but he was quick to check himself before things became unprofessional. Raine complained that he went above and beyond to please his patients, especially women, but Kasen assured her that he had learned his lesson after the first time and he would never hurt her like that again. Apparently his assurances had not been enough.

As he read the letter again, his tears were replaced with a rising fury. It dawned on him that she could be using this claim that he was cheating as an excuse. Maybe she didn’t even really believe he was cheating, he thought, but instead she made that shit up so she could step out with another dude.

Letting out a roar, Kasen tore the letter in two and threw it on the bed, then paced around the room, throwing wild punches in the air. “Fuck!” he shouted, spit spraying from his mouth. “How in the fuck can she do me like this?”

After a while, he ran out of steam and flopped down onto the bed, panting and sweating. He picked up his phone, prepared to call Raine and spew every bad name in the book, but when he punched her number into his phone, it went straight to voice mail. He tried it three more times, and every time, the same thing happened.

What the fuck?
he thought.
Did she block my number now?

He pitched his phone into wall, causing the screen to crack. When he bent down to pick up the phone, he caught sight of the background screen, which was a photo of him and Raine from a few months ago, when they had taken an awesome trip to Las Vegas. He dropped to one knee, feeling like all the wind had been knocked out of him. How had they gone from those happy moments to this chaos in such a short time? He just could not wrap his head around it. His watery eyes fluttered, and as his tears picked up speed, he shut his eyes, covering them with a shaky hand.

“Daaaamn,” he cried out. “What did I do? I can’t believe this is happening. Why me?” Kasen was broken. His heart felt as if it had been ripped from his chest.

As he sat on the floor of his bedroom, still in shock, he began to reflect on everything that had happened that day. Now Raine’s reaction to his proposal started to make sense. Of course she wasn’t happy about the ring. She’d probably been thinking about the other guy the whole time she was standing there with Kasen’s ring on her finger.

He felt like a fool. Why would she have played him like that? Why couldn’t she have just been honest with him and told him she didn’t want to get married? Didn’t she owe him that much honesty after all they’d been through together? Shit, if she had any kind of integrity, she would have told him a long time ago that she thought he was cheating. For a second, he imagined a conversation where she accused him of cheating and he was able to convince her that it wasn’t true; and then their relationship could have been saved. But he was smart enough to realize that it was just a fantasy—a stupid daydream that could never come true with a heartless, cheating bitch like Raine. That was what she had become in his eyes, now that his ego and his pride had been decimated. He didn’t use the word
bitch
often, but in this case, it fit her perfectly. He had given her his heart, opened up his home to her, and without a second thought, she had replaced him with another man. That, to him, was unforgiveable. It would be a cold day in the devil’s lonely hell before he ever let her back into his life.

The next morning, Kasen found himself sprawled naked on the living room floor, with an empty bottle of vodka next to him, along with a photo album full of pictures of him and Raine. He remembered getting ready to take a shower the night before, but he figured it was safe to assume that he’d never made it.

As he got up off the floor and entered the bedroom, he could still smell Raine’s perfume. Was he imagining the scent, or had her presence really permeated every corner of his room, or better yet, every corner of his life? One glance at the wine stain on the carpet reminded him that even if the scent of her perfume remained, she was definitely gone. From the looks of the mess she left behind, she had left in quite a hurry. He wondered what could have been going through her mind as she raced around there gathering her things. Then he remembered the words of her cruel letter and decided he didn’t give a shit what she had been thinking. All that mattered was that she had ripped his heart out.

The last thing Kasen wanted to do was go to work, but he never liked to cancel on his patients, so he went into the bathroom to get dressed. Besides, work might keep his mind off of everything that had happened. He took a quick shower, put on a pair of loose slacks and a wrinkled button-down shirt that did nothing for his stallion-like frame, and ran a brush over his waves. Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, all he could do was hope that no one would comment on his puffy eyes or his unshaven face, because he didn’t have the energy to do anything about them right now. It took everything he had just to mentally prepare for the long day ahead of him.

* * *

Kasen arrived at his office at ten o’clock sharp, and Voncile noticed right away that he appeared totally out of it. Voncile had never witnessed him looking so disheveled and distraught. She called his name, halting his steps before he opened the door to his office.

“I don’t mean to pry, but are you okay? You look awful.”

“No, I’m not okay, and thanks for the compliment.”

“I didn’t mean to say that. What I meant to say is you look
different
. Sorry if I offended you,” she said.

“It’s not a big deal, Voncile,” he said with very little energy in his voice.

His zombie-like demeanor worried Voncile a little, but he obviously didn’t want her to pry, so she changed the subject. “So, Dr. Fields called to say that he was sending a young lady your way this morning. He said she’s in dire need of your assistance. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to pencil her in, but he stopped by to give me her number, as well as her file. Are you able to meet with her?”

Dr. Fields and Kasen were always recommending patients to each other, often when one doctor felt the other might be better for a particular patient. Kasen knew Dr. Fields wouldn’t send a patient his way unless she really needed help, so he didn’t want to disappoint his colleague or this potential new patient in need of help.

“Sure. Go ahead and call her. What’s her name?”

Voncile retrieved the file from the top of her desk and handed it to Kasen. “Her name is Patrice Davenport. Dr. Fields said good luck with this one.” Voncile resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but Kasen still heard the cynicism in her voice.

He glanced at the patient file, skimming the first page, which stated that Patrice had left her first appointment with Dr. Fields after just five minutes. Apparently, she didn’t feel they connected. This woman sounded like a handful for sure, but Kasen was a little disturbed by the attitude Voncile was displaying. He preferred to approach every one of his new patients with an unbiased opinion. He wasn’t quite sure what was up with Voncile, but after what he had been through the previous night, he didn’t have the energy to confront her about it, so he chose to let it slide.

“Thanks. Call her and see if she can come right away. I’ll be in my office,” he said and walked away without waiting for a response.

Kasen entered his office still feeling completely out of it. He walked sluggishly to his desk and plopped in the chair. He tried to read the rest of the file that Voncile had handed him, but within minutes, his mind drifted back to his own issues. With Raine on his mind, he massaged his forehead and closed his eyes, thinking about yesterday. He thought about their encounter inside the closet of her office. All of his senses immediately went to that place. He could imagine the sweet taste of her nectar, and the soft, juicy feeling of her walls gripping him tightly. He imagined the sound of her moans as he slid deeper inside. As much as he wanted to forget about her, his mind would not let him. He laid his head on the desk and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the images of her naked beauty. How could someone so beautiful be capable of causing so much pain?

A knock on the door startled him, and he lifted his head from the desk, wiping away the saliva that had pooled in the corner of his mouth. As he jumped up from the chair, he caught sight of the clock and realized he’d fallen asleep in this position. What felt like only a few minutes had actually been an hour. He plucked at his wrinkled shirt and smoothed the front of his rumpled pants.

“Come in,” he called out, thinking it would be Voncile who came in.

Instead, he caught sight of Patrice Davenport as she entered, causing his eyes to grow wide.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to come in?” she asked. “I didn’t see anyone at the front desk, so I knocked on the first door I saw.”

Kasen’s eyes scanned the super-sexy woman who damn near brought him back to life. Her sandy-brown hair was brushed into a sleek ponytail, and her slanted eyes drew him in like a magnet. She rocked a soft blue criss-cross halter dress that displayed a healthy portion of her firm breasts. Her makeup was on like a work of fine art, and her mocha skin looked as if it had been dipped in baby oil. For a few merciful minutes, Kasen’s thoughts of Raine were washed away.

He was almost speechless, but managed to invite the gorgeous woman to have a seat.

“Anywhere?” she asked, shifting her eyes from the chair to the chaise.

“Wherever you’d like.”

Kasen studied her as she sashayed to the chair in front of his desk. His eyes were glued to her, until she was planted in the seat. She crossed her legs, causing her dress to slide to the side and reveal her cellulite-free, toned thighs.

Kasen extended his hand to hers. “Dr. Kasen Phillips,” he said. “I understand you didn’t have a successful experience with Dr. Fields, but I hope you feel okay speaking to me this morning.”

Patrice shrugged then licked across her full lips to moisten them. “I’m perfectly fine with speaking to anyone who can help me. I just didn’t get that vibe from Dr. Fields, you know?”

Kasen nodded. “Dr. Fields is a very competent doctor, but sometimes it just happens that a doctor and patient don’t click. It’s not anyone’s fault; it just is. Hopefully you and I can develop the kind of connection that you’re looking for in a therapist. Why don’t you start by telling me what you’re here for?”

“I’m kind of in a rut,” she started. “I’ll be the first to admit that I need some major help.”

Kasen eased back, situating himself comfortably in the chair as he clasped his hands together. “Recognizing that you need help is the first step, and I’m here to listen, not to judge. I won’t push, and all I ask is that you be honest and as open as you can about your situation. Doing so will enable me to offer you the best advice possible.”

“I intend to be honest,” she said, fidgeting with her hands. She glanced down at Kasen’s desk and saw the file with her name on it. “I guess you already know my story from Dr. Fields, huh?” she asked.

“Actually, I just received this file a little while ago and I haven’t had a chance to review it,” Kasen said. He wasn’t about to tell her he had fallen asleep as soon as he started reading her file. For all he knew, he had drooled all over the pages as he slept. “So you can start anywhere you like, Patrice. By the way, is it okay if I call you Patrice?”

“Patrice is fine.” She smirked. “Can I call you Dr. Sexy?”

Kasen was taken aback but tried to hide it. He didn’t really like it when his patients acted this way, but he had learned to deal with it. The first time he had asked a patient not to do it, she suffered a horrible attack of anxiety because she felt so embarrassed and guilty for overstepping the doctor/patient boundaries. Now he just let it go. Whatever made his patients comfortable, he was down with it, as long as the name wasn’t offensive.

“Sure. Why not? Now let’s get started,” he said.

Patrice jumped right into some pretty deep waters. “I think I’m addicted to sex. I feel out of control. I mean, my friends say this is normal, but why do I feel so guilty? I’m not married, so I can sleep with whoever I want, but the problem is I just can’t seem to get enough. All I think about is sex, sex, and more sex. At this point, I’m willing to do anything to get laid.”

Kasen listened attentively as Patrice told him of her numerous sex partners. In one week alone, she’d had six different partners and multiple ménage à trois. To her, dick was like food; she couldn’t live without it. Size didn’t matter, race didn’t matter, and neither did a man’s marital status.

“I mean, I’ve had it all from A to Z,” she confessed. “And in the moment, I feel like I’m high on drugs. I love being the only woman in the room, and the more men there, the better.”

This wasn’t the first time Kasen had spoken to a sex addict. He knew all too well that many of their problems stemmed from not loving themselves. Even though Patrice came across as a confident woman, he suspected there was something profound going on beneath the surface.

Kasen spent the next several minutes trying to get her to dig deep and revisit certain instances from her past. As soon as Patrice started to speak about her past, her eyes filled with tears. She became overwhelmed with emotion, refusing to carry on with the session.

“I . . . I thought I was ready to talk about this, but I can’t. I’ll come back again when I’m ready.” She stood and rushed toward the door.

“Patrice, please wait,” Kasen called after her, but she ignored him and left.

Kasen felt terrible. He had managed to keep thoughts of Raine out of his head during their session, but he was still worried about his ability to treat his patients in the midst of his own crisis. Were his own issues going to make him a less effective therapist? Kasen had never had to worry about this before. He’d always been so good at getting to the heart of his patients’ issues and helping them reach conclusions that healed their hurting souls. Now that he was hurting too, he was afraid it would affect his professional ability. He hoped that Patrice would come back soon and that he would be able to give her what she needed to feel better about herself—for her sake and for his.

Fortunately for Kasen, the rest of his day felt a little more like a typical day. His next appointment was with an older man who was obsessed with playing video games. His two o’clock was a woman who didn’t want to leave her abusive boyfriend, and his four o’clock appointment was with a compulsive gambler. In each session, Kasen found he was able to listen and offer advice without letting his mind drift to thoughts of Raine. He felt good about it, but also exhausted from the effort it took. By six, Kasen was ready to call it a day.

He stood by Voncile’s desk, holding his briefcase in his hand. “How much longer are you going to be?” he asked.

“Not long at all, but I do need to get out of here and go get me something to eat. A certain someone promised me lunch today, but just like my shake, I guess he forgot again.”

Kasen slapped his palm on his forehead. “Oh, shoot. I did forget. Please forgive me. I just have a lot of things on my mind, but I promise to make it up to you.”

“You promised the same thing yesterday,” she answered, sounding a little snippy for a second, but she caught herself quickly and cleaned up her tone. “Don’t worry. All is forgiven. I can tell that you’re kind of out it.” She reached out and put a hand on his arm. “Whatever is bothering you, please know that I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

Kasen wasn’t ready to tell anyone what had happened between him and Raine. For one, he was kind of embarrassed. It would be difficult for him to explain how things just simply fell apart, especially since he didn’t totally understand it himself. He knew that sooner or later he would have to share the news with his friends and family. He could only imagine what his parents would say about the breakup. As for Voncile, she was a nice person, but certainly not the first one he would share his terrible news with.

“That’s nice of you to offer,” he said, “but I’m not really ready to talk about it yet.”

There was an awkward silence between them for a minute, so Kasen tried to ease it by saying, “Anyway, as for the promises I keep breaking, you have to tell me how I can make it up to you.”

Voncile flashed a smile. “Well, since you asked, how about dinner? I promise I won’t question you about anything, although you can feel free to talk to me about anything. I promise not to judge you—and unlike you, I do keep my word,” she teased.

Kasen laughed. The truth was, if he went home he’d probably start wallowing in self-pity anyway. Voncile’s company might do him some good.

“Sure. Why not?” he said, accepting her offer. “I need to go to the post office and drop off a few packages first, though, so how about I meet you across the street in about thirty minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Voncile was ecstatic.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
She silently screamed while watching him exit. An intimate dinner with him was right on time.

She had thirty minutes to waste before their dinner date, so she did something she often did when he wasn’t around: She went into his office. Walking over to his chair, she rubbed her hands all over the leather, imagining it was his shoulders she was massaging. The Clive Christian cologne he wore infused the entire office. She inhaled, thinking dirty thoughts of him fucking her on top of his desk.
If he only knew how many times I’ve had an orgasm in his office,
she thought wickedly as she fingered herself into a climax.