The Devil's Tattoo (15 page)

And it terrified me.

He didn't say anything, but I could hear his
breathing and as I shifted to a more comfortable position, I could have sworn
it hitched.

"We don't have to talk
about anything if you don't want," he said quietly, as
if he knew what I was thinking. "I don't know about you, but my idea bank
is empty right now."

The double meaning didn't escape me and I snorted. I
wasn't sure how to take it and I was overwhelmingly glad that he wasn't pushing
it. He probably thought I'd run away like a frightened rabbit again.

Without thinking, I let my
head
rest
against his shoulder and this time, his breathing definitely
hitched.

Deliberately ignoring it, I closed my eyes. If
this was all I was going to get, then I was going to take it
and remember it fondly. I just wanted to hold on to the one little
thing that made me feel warm inside. That Will had taken notice and listened to
me. That's all I wanted.

Deep down, I could tell myself that as much as I
wanted, but it wouldn't override the fact that I still wanted Will
Strickland every which way I could get him and that was a thought too
much to handle.

I woke to my phone vibrating in my pocket. Sitting
bolt upright, I wasn't sure where I was for a moment.

"What time is it?" Will asked
sleepily. I was then I
realised
 I'd fallen asleep
against him and my stomach flip-flopped.

Looking at my phone, I saw a text from Dee.
Where
you at?
xx

"Five."

"Shit."

I scrambled off the bed, my entire body aching to be
touched. "I need to go."

"Zoe," he began, but I was already out the
door.
 
There's
one thing I don't want to be and that's a notch on Will Strickland's bedpost.

"Zoe Granger," Dee declared as I
walked into the band room. "I'd never thought I'd see the day."

"I don't want to know," I grumbled, my
head thoroughly scrambled with thoughts of Will's arms around me.

"Simone told me you went off with Will.
Upstairs."

"I didn't," I began to protest, but
the door opened, letting in Louie and Frank and
my mouth clamped shut.

Dee gave me a knowing look and began hauling the gear
out to the stage. Before anyone else could have a go, I picked up my guitar
case and leads and followed him. When I went back for my hard case of
effect pedals the room was empty save for the one person I wasn't ready to
see just yet.

"You okay?" Will asked, leaning against
the wall.

"Yeah," I said quietly, moving an amp out
of the way to get to my stuff.

"You sure? You bolted outta there…"

"I'm okay. It was just late.
I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay, Zoe. I don't mind." The
amusement in his voice irritated me more than it should and I felt the ice
queen inside of me rear her ugly head.

"I've
gotta
set this up," I mumbled, hauling the hard case into the middle of the
room.

"Sometimes I don't know who you are."

I looked up at him, my heart twisting. He was watching me with a
confused look in his eyes and I couldn't say that I blamed him. I wasn't sure
who I was anymore, either.

"Up there on that stage? You sing from your
heart. Everyone believes everything you say
cos
you
mean it. Every girl in the room wants to be you and every guy wants to fuck
you."

All I can do is stare at him. The way he said the word fuck
stripped me bare and I felt desire burning inside of me. It took all my
strength not to fling myself across the room and kiss him.

"Whatever the hell you do on stage, do that
now. Do it all the time. That girl up there is Zoe, I don't know who you
are."

And just like that, he threw a bucket of metaphoric ice all over
me. Anger rose inside me, distorting my expression.

"What happened to you?" he said with a
frown like I'm some kind of puzzle.

I shrugged.

"Shrugging is such a noncommittal
gesture."

"I wanted a noncommittal answer," I
retorted and hauled my hard case out of the room before he
could berate me any further. I wasn't ready for that
conversation. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I ever would be.

For a small town, the gig that night was packed. It was just
us and The Stabs,
but it was more than enough to keep the
locals happy. It was wild and before long the room was as hot as a furnace as
two hundred sweaty humans jumped around having the time of their lives.
Afterwards, most stayed behind, raking in a fortune for Big Foot behind the
bar.

When he saw me waiting to be served, he pulled a bottle of
Bulmers
out of the fridge, popped the top off and
gave it to me. "On the house," he said with a wink. It was nice of
him to remember what I ordered, let alone give me one for free. He really must
have been swimming in piles of money tonight.

Before I could turn around and melt back into the crowd, a guy
tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Great show tonight."

I looked him up and down and he seemed harmless enough.
"Thanks."

"I'm Matt," he offered his hand.

"Zoe." I shook it to be polite.

"I'd offer to buy you a drink, but I see you already have
one."

"Sorry," I shrugged a little uncomfortable.

He started talking to me about something inane and I tried to
think of a polite way to discourage him. He seemed to edge closer into my personal
space and I knew he was trying to pick me up. Wasn't going to happen.

"Sorry,
Matt
, but I'm not interested."

"Oh come on," he reached over and ran a finger down the
back of my hand.

"Sorry, but I'm…" I began more firmly, but was
interrupted as a tattooed arm came down on the bar between us and I
recognised
the panther that crawled down his skin
immediately. Will.

"She said she wasn't interested, mate." His voice was
strained, and I knew he was epically pissed off.

"Will," I said in his ear. "Drop it."

He didn't move, eyeing the guy with a dark look that said he'd
thump him one if he didn't go away.

Hoping it would snap him out of it, I slid my hand along the
waistband of his jeans, my thumb grazing across the bare skin of his back. It
had the desired effect
alright
. Immediately, his hand
dropped from the bar and he stepped back.

Pulling my hand away, I shoved him hard. Offering the poor guy an
apology, my hand fisted into Will's shirt and I yanked him outside onto the
deserted verandah.

"What the hell?" I hissed at him.

"
Zo
," he said
and I could see the apology clear in his eyes.

I stiffened and gave him a look. For some reason it
was a bit too close for comfort.
Him calling me
Zo
.

"What? We can't be friends? I can't look out
for you? If not, then what have we been doing?"

I shrugged.

"You're in a successful band,
 
Zo
. People are
giong
to want a
piece of you. That includes idiots like that guy. They
wanna
hear what you have to say and they're
gunna
make up
stuff that's not nice and they will want to feel you up." Was he
drunk
?

"Fucking hell, Will."

He let out a tortured moan that scared the hell out
of me. "I
wanna
know you. I've tried so
hard. Why won't you let me?"

I should have come back with, because I'm trying to fight this
overwhelming attraction I have for you before it destroys my carefully placed
facade, but instead I came out with, "What about that guy you almost
punched? What about him?"

"He was bothering you."

"Yeah, but I could have handled it myself. Without resorting
to physical harm."

"Shit, Zoe," he said and ran a hand over
his face. "I acted like a jerk. I didn't do much to make you think I
was nothing like my reputation."

"That you're a 
womanising
 pervert?
Or the one where you beat up on guys for talking to girls?"

"Say no once and
you're
an elitist snob. Say yes once and you're a womanizing bastard. Stick up for a
mate and you've got an anger issue. Can't catch a break."

Impulsively, I held out a hand to him. He looked at
it then his eyes met mine.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm throwing you a break. You need to catch
it."

A sly smile tugged at his lips and he took my hand,
taking the opportunity to run a thumb over my knuckles. A shiver ran down my
spine and I pulled away.

"Breaks over," I said quietly, letting my gaze
wander over the street below. I would have done anything to kiss him right
then, but that was impulsive and stupid. Everything would change and I wasn't
sure if I wanted it to yet.

"You can't hide away all the time."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Separation from that," he pointed back
into the pub, "is one thing as a
muso
, but
another thing as a person."

Somehow, I think he's not saying it all.

"Is this your way of telling me to get out
more?"

"
Kinda
," he
shrugged.

"I can't get more out than on that stage.
That's pretty out."

"You know what I mean."

Ignoring him, I looked out into the night.
"It's funny to think."

"What?"

"Suddenly people think I'm worth something and
want to know me. Before, no one gave a crap. No one wanted to know shit about me.
Don't ever think I'll fall for a smooth line from a random at the bar."

"I wanted to know you before," he said.
"But, I wasn't sure you existed."

I had no idea what he meant. I searched his face for some kind of
hint, but he turned away.

Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on the bannister, head
dipping. "Would you believe me if I said I did it because I was
jealous?"

I didn't like where this was going. Edging away, I whispered,
"Don't."

Will sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Abruptly, he
straightened up to his full height and ran a hand through his hair, his
expression unreadable. For a moment, I thought he was going to pull me into his
arms and kiss me, but he turned on his heel, disappearing inside.

Shell-shocked, I sunk into a chair and my head fell into my hands.
What the hell was I doing?

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN

Will

I pushed through the crowd in the tiny pub and went straight up
the stairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. I slid my back down the wall
until I was on the floor and let my
head rest
between
my knees.

Why the hell did I keep doing this? Whatever I did seemed to be
either too much, too little or too stupid.

Yeah, she probably could have handled that guy, but I just had to
come right in and
act like
the jealous boyfriend. I
had no right.

What made it worse was the fact that I'd showed her the video I'd
been working on. I started it a few days ago, after seeing her play that song
with Damages. I didn't do it to impress
her,
I wanted
to make her happy. I wanted to show her how I felt because I was too chicken
shit to say it.

I remembered the way she'd flinched when I'd asked about the scar
on her arm and wondered if that had anything to do with her reluctance. Had
someone hurt her before? Not emotionally, but physically? The thought made my
rage simmer, that anyone could raise
their
hand to
her. No wonder she'd been so pissed at me.

I hit my head back against the wall and ran my hands over my face
with a groan. She'd fallen asleep in my arms and, fuck… it was all I could
think about. I wanted her so much it burned. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to
touch her everywhere. Fucking hell, I was hard right now.

I'd never felt like this about anyone in my whole entire life and
it scared the absolute shit outta me. And I was screwing it up big time.

The moment she'd trusted me enough and let me hold her… I knew it.
I knew I wanted her, but I wanted her
forever
. It wasn't an attraction
anymore. I was falling for her and somehow I knew that like was turning into
love.

There was this awful
feeling in my gut that told
me by the way it was going, it was unrequited
. Maybe I just needed to
back off a little. Maybe she just needed a little space. Maybe I was the
problem.

I was such a clueless asshole.