The Daughter in Law (12 page)

Now I’m ready for this kid to be
out like yesterday and he was being stubborn like his damn father.

“Damien we have to get pin out now, today, I can’t do this
shit one more day in this heat.”

“And how do you propose we do that?”

“Come and see.” I
laid
back on the
bed where he’d just finished shaving me because I couldn’t find my own girly
bits these days.

“Vanessa…”

“The book says it’s perfectly
okay. It’s either your dick or I’m thinking of getting a crowbar and helping
this thing along. I figure your dick might be less abrasive so let’s go.”

“I don’t know about this.” His
mouth was saying one thing but the tent in his shorts spoke volumes. I upped
the ante by fingering myself for a taste. Uh-huh, gotcha.

“Fine but no rough stuff.”

That’s what you think, how else am I supposed to dislodge
pin from his cushy hiding place?

“Get on your side, less
pressure.” He put a pillow under my tummy and got behind me. He started to eat
the kitty but
ain’t
nobody got time for that.

“Uh-uh big boy, this is not a love
making session, this is a search and rescue.”

“Shut up and let me do this.”

“Fine.” I huffed like having him eat the cooch wasn’t like
the best thing ever. He took his time and ate her good until I was pulling out
his hair. “Okay
Dami
you’ve had your fun now hurry
up; mom and dad aren’t gonna be gone forever and you know how noisy you get.”

“Me or you?” I got a slap on my
ass for that one. I lifted my leg to let him know I was ready for the dick. He eased
in nice and slow and reached over to hold my tummy. I think he thinks if he
doesn’t do that, that pin might fly out or some shit.

The dick felt good but he was
defeating the purpose. I had to find a way to amp this shit up. “Look here,
remember that you won’t be able to hit it for at least two months after pin
gets here. You better get it while it’s hot. I put my
kegels
to good use, which I haven’t been doing for a while because I
kinda
thought that might dislodge pin before it was time.

“Quit it Vanessa or I’ll stop.”

My ass I’m quitting, I just
squeezed harder and reached between my legs to find his balls. Oh yeah, he
can’t withstand this double whammy. “Fuck me harder
Dami
come on.”

“What if I put out an eye or something?”
That shit made me howl with laughter, he’s such a dork; I worked him over so
good he didn’t even seem to realize when I pushed myself up and turned on my
hands and knees. I cocked my ass back trying to suck his dick in deeper all the
while telling him how much I liked being stuffed by his big hard cock. He went
nuts and bit into my neck, which had me clamping down on the dick and pushing
back even harder. His grunts and my groans were loud in the room as he drilled
me hard and fast, just the way I needed. “Fuck I’m cumming.”

“Me too don’t stop.” I forgot
why the hell we were doing this in the first place because it felt so good.

After all that, pin still didn’t
budge. I ate spicy food like I’d read was good for my predicament, nothing. I
tried playing Wii but Damien caught me and read mom and I the riot act, until
dad took him off somewhere to have a drink. The man is nuts.

Later that night when I’d
finally settled down from the cartwheels the little troublemaker was doing in
my tummy, I felt liquid gush from between my thighs. I jumped out of bed
dislodging the hand Damien had wrapped around my tummy to calm down his son.

“What is it, what’s the matter?”

“Get mom, my water broke.” He was out of the bed like a
shot. He got dressed in the clothes he had on hand for just this occasion. Then
he got me dressed and I noticed that he wasn’t saying a word in English, just a
stoic face with determination written all over it. “
Dami
you okay?”

“Fine, I’m concentrating.”

“On what?”

“The route to the hospital.” He looked at his watch.

“It’s three o’clock in the
morning traffic should be light. Stay there let me go get your parents.” The
man had turned into a machine. I sat where he left me and tried to calm my
racing heart. I’d been waiting for this moment forever, but now that it was
here I wasn’t so sure. Maybe pin had the right idea after all. Just stay in
there.

The four of us
hopped into the jeep and were off. Mom and dad were having a regular
conversation, while Damien held my hand and watched the road like he was
expecting an invasion. I was having a private conversation with pin, promising
all manner of things if he or she would take it easy on mommy.

Damien started
barking out orders as soon as we cleared the hospital doors. I wanted to remind
him that these people weren’t his recruits, but there was no talking to him.
The staff seemed to be very adept at dealing with lunatic fathers to be, and
took it all in stride though. I didn’t have time to think about hagfish, but
Damien was on it. He reissued his orders that no one was allowed in the
delivery room but he and mom. He’d asked me who I wanted in there with me and
it was a no brainer. Dad was happy to sit out in the little sitting area of the
room because as he said, blood makes him squeamish. Yeah, okay.

Something
must’ve been going on around hour five, because I heard raised voices out in
the hallway and Damien looked ready to chew nails when he kissed my head and
told me he’d be right back. Five minutes later the noise was gone and he was
back. Pin was still being a pain and refused to move any farther and the chirpy
nurse was happy to tell me how many more centimeters I still had to go. I
would’ve snatched her ass bald but Damien calmed me down.

I couldn’t believe that this man
who’d been a basket case for the past month or so was now this calm, cool and
collected. He helped me breathe, and cooled my brow and did everything but push
the little sucker out for me. If I were paying attention I would’ve noticed
that he was white as a sheet and his jaw was hard enough to cut rock.

I think he threatened the
doctor once or twice around hour ten but I wasn’t paying attention. I was too
busy wondering if women really did this shit more than once. I don’t think
Damien appreciated me giving him a blow by blow of what it felt like to have
his kid rearranging my
vajayjay
though.

“Get this kid
outta me now.” I think that was me but it sounded more like a spawn from the
depths of hell. I didn’t bother threatening Damien; that was so done. But he
got the drift from the kill lights in my eyes when he tried telling me how the
fuck to breathe that last time, when pin was doing his damnedest to tear me a
new one.

“I can’t do this anymore, put me to
sleep, wake me up when it’s over.”

“Baby look at me. You can do this, don’t you want to meet
pin? We’ve been waiting forever. Think of all the fun the three of us are gonna
have together, all those cool things we got for him.” He talked a good game but
nothing doing.

“Why don’t we switch places
asshole and you can tell me how good this feels?” Mom was busy taping
everything for posterity; I’m not sure
who
she
expected to show it too. Then again I could keep it on DVR or something to show
the little shit when he was a teenager and giving me shit.

“We’re almost there Mrs. Spencer just
one more big push. On the count of three.”

“
Ungh
…”
I expelled a basketball with limbs from my cooch. That kid must have the
biggest head in creation. Everyone was moving around tending to the scream
machine while I was trying to feel my body to see if it was still working.
Damien had his eyes peeled on the nurses while mom was in their faces with the
camera. No one was making it out of here with that kid. He was well documented
that’s for sure.

“Here you go Mr. Spencer, you have
a beautiful, healthy baby girl.”

The big lug had tears in his
eyes when he turned back to me to pass her off. She was so tiny and perfect.
How could something so small be so much damn trouble? I was grinning like a
fool and had no idea why; I’d already forgotten the pain. And when she popped
open those eyes my heart melted. She was her daddy’s girl for sure. She had
dark hair like both of us, but those eyes were
gonna
be the same steel grey as her dad’s.

“You okay
Dami
?”

“Uh-huh.” I think he forgot how to form words, he was just staring
at his daughter like she was a new species and I could’ve sworn he was shaking.

After they cleaned me up, and the little piglet had her
dinner,
Dami
sat on the bed and held us both.
“Justine.”

“Say what now?”

“That’s her name.”

Well I sure wish somebody had
consulted me first. But I liked it.

“You had that name picked out?”

“Uh-huh, it’s the closest thing to justice for a girl.”

That reminded me. “What was all that out
there
earlier?” He looked at me for a good minute before answering.

“Mom tried to get in, I don’t know how she found out but
I’ll look into it. Your dad held her off until I got there and made her leave.”
I held the baby closer to me.

“There’s nothing for you to worry about I’ve already called
the station and let them know. As soon as you and Justine are settled I’ll go
down and take care of it.”

“She’s not gonna stop.”

“I know; that’s why she and dad are moving out of state.”

“They are? how did you arrange that?”

“I have my ways.”

Scary. I’ll have to wait ‘til I could move again to go snooping.

He has lost
his damn mind and that’s all there is to it. Somehow he got it into his head to
enlist my father’s help in dealing with old ratchet face. Now you have to
understand something here, when I started this beef with his monster birth sac,
I had no intentions on things going this far. I thought we’d have a big blow up
and then I’d learn to freeze her out at future family gatherings as most sane
people do. Damien, not so much! We brought little Justine home and all hell
broke loose.

First, I
learned through my mother, since
Dami
was still being
tight-lipped, that his idiot mother found out about the birth through one of
the volunteers, whose grandmother plays bridge with
haggie
or some such nonsense. According to mom Damien got the girl dismissed even
though she needed the experience for her school credits or something. She tried
explaining to him that Beelzebub’s side piece had told her a sob story about
me, the heartless bitch of a daughter in law who was after her son’s money and
was trying to cut her out of her only grandchild’s life, and yadda, yadda,
yadda.
Damien’s answer?
I don’t give a fuck. You
endangered my wife and child now you can deal with the consequences.

With that said
we came home a few days later and Damien went into overdrive. The security
detail was back on the gate, Justine and I were fitted with these very
suspicious matching bracelets, and the house was literally on lockdown. I was
still pretty much in a daze from having pushed a meteor out my crotch so I wasn’t
too swift on the uptake. Mom kept supplying me with info that she kept
siphoning out of dad. (I don’t even
wanna
know).
Anyway there was a ping, pong match going on inside my house. The men would
sneak and do their thing and mom would eavesdrop and come back and tell me
which stage of crazy my husband was at.

“Damien what’s going on with you
and my dad? Are you really gonna let him relocate your parents?”

“How do you know about that?”

“Don’t mind that just tell me what’s going on.”

“Look, the restraining order isn’t working, and the cops
can’t seem to do shit. Your dad was there when she showed up at the hospital
remember
? He saw what lengths she’d go to.”

“Yeah but still…”

“She tried to name my fucking kid.”

“What?”

“Oh your mail service didn’t report that one huh? Yep, she’s
crossed all boundaries with me.”

“But how was she planning to do that?”

“How the fuck should I know how her mind works? The woman is
nuts. Apparently the clueless twit who let her in was gonna help her get the papers
to sign.”

I’m all kinds of confused,
could people really do shit like that?

“Anyway there’s a stalking law here
and she fits the profile. I knew she would pull something like this and I made
it easy for her. Now she’s fallen nicely into my trap and she’s been given a
choice. Relocate or face a prison sentence, and when I spell out the shit she’s
pulled in front of a judge she’s facing no less than four years. To ensure that
she stays where the fuck she’s going, your father offered up a location where he’s
sure he can keep an eye on her. Apparently a lot of his old retired pals live
around there.”

Oh shit.
Haggie
had really cooked
her goose but
good
this time.

It’s been
three years since I heard from
haggie
. She tried one
last ditch effort back then, with a long-winded
fauxpology
that I gave to Damien to add to his arsenal. Haven’t heard a peep out of her
since. I was too caught up in my new baby to pay too much mind to her and her
shit anyway. My man had gone above and beyond the call of duty and I no longer
felt the need to punch her in the face. Only rarely would a memory raise its
head, and I’d daydream about what I should’ve done to put her ass in traction,
but those days were far and in between.

I’ve seen
Barbara around a handful of times, but since she doesn’t have Broom Hilda to
back her plays, she usually just makes a quick exit when she sees me coming.
I’m not sure what all Damien had done to her after the day we moved in, but she
was keeping a low profile. Funnily enough a lot of the women who used to
befriend her and
Haggie
were now coming out of the
woodwork with stories. These women were very cliquish, for them it was all
about appearances and who had the biggest house. I wasn’t interested, and
besides, Damien was like a Pitt-bull these days, the only ones who got close
were my family.

We have a new baby boy now, another
one that looks like his dad; I’m putting the cooch on lockdown because that
shit just
ain’t
fair. I do all the work and he reaps
the bennies.

He never talks about her and I
don’t bring her up, but every once in a while I wonder. He’s my heart after all
and I want him to be happy. I can’t imagine it can be too easy accepting that
your mother is a crackpot; now I’m surrounded by family, and he basically has
none; all because of one woman’s narcissism.

Denise comes
over a lot these days though, which is good. Damien gave her a list of rules
that she has to follow or she’s out too. She’s not allowed to mention the
hagfish and she’s not allowed to take any news back. Poor thing, she posted
pictures of the kids on her Facebook page and
haggie
pounced and started commenting and shit. I tried to keep it hidden from Damien
because I knew it wasn’t Denise’s fault, but good grief you would’ve thought
she’d tried to sell them on the black market. She got banned for three months
for that one. In the end I had to work on him to get him to let up. Poor girl
didn’t have any family left here either since she and rot crotch never got
along, and we were all she had. Damien didn’t really give a shit about anything
except
me and his kids
.

If I’d ever
doubted him before, well, there was no room for doubt now; he was rock solid
and one hundred percent in my corner. If I even sneezed he was there. I think
he still harbored guilt for not being there to protect me in the beginning and
for not believing me right out the gate. But like I said, now that I have my
own little kiddies to worry about, none of that shit really bothers me anymore.
I no longer have that gut sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know that
when I leave my house with my kids I don’t have to worry about some nut job
jumping out of the bushes.

The word
through the grapevine before the relocation was that she was fit to be tied
when I moved into Her house. I knew that would stick in her craw, and that’s
one of the main reasons I decided to make that move. It was the only slap I
could take at her since Damien wouldn’t let me twat punch her. Now she has to
live everyday knowing that the daughter in law she hates has taken up residence
in her coveted family home. I hope it eats a hole in her twisted brain. See,
I’m not bitter or anything. I do get immense pleasure out of knowing that she
failed though. Troll.

Our lives are full and happy,
there’s no tension, like none. The only blips come from the outside world,
everyday things that we all face, but our family unit is cruising. Damien and I
have not only gotten to know each other now that he’s been home and not half
way around the world, but we’ve grown closer than ever. It would kill hagfish
to know that all she achieved in the
end,
was making
our bond stronger.

I do wish he’d lighten up a bit
though, he seems to think that having kids have somehow changed the world.
According to him if I’d seen half the shit he had I would feel the same. I have
to remind him that I won’t see shit because he’s made it his mission to stand
between me, and everything that he thinks poses a threat. He’s like this big
wall of solid mass, my own defensive line.

And to see him with his kids;
there are no words.

Justine is his baby, they’re like
two peas in a pod, she pretty much has him wrapped around her finger, and he
won’t have it any other way. Little Damien is a mama’s boy. Sometimes I hold
him close and hope and pray that I never put him through what his grand monster
did to his dad. All in all I have to say I won that fight and didn’t even have
to throw a punch because of my kick ass hubby and my non-tolerance for
bullshit.